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Some things to ponder

Started by hm insulators, August 18, 2016, 05:19:13 PM

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hm insulators

From Red Green: "If salad is so good for you, how come you can't barbecue it?"
Remember: If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.

I'd rather be a child of the road than a son of a ditch.


At what age do you tell a highway that it's been adopted?


Mapmikey

Quote from: TheHighwayMan394 on September 17, 2016, 06:34:20 PM
Why is it that the side dishes always taste better than the main course at meals?

Do they not taste better than main courses at other times?

bulldog1979

Quote from: J N Winkler on September 17, 2016, 10:38:06 AM
The word turnpike is descended from the original (seventeenth century) British concept of a toll road, where payment of tolls was enforced by actual turnstiles.  It is increasingly anachronistic now that tollbooths with swinging-arm barriers, a staple of US public-authority turnpikes from the 1940's onward, are giving way to electronic toll collection.  However, I object to it less than I do to state-specific nomenclatures that seem highly precious.  For example, in Michigan the Mackinac Bridge is nowhere referred to as a "toll bridge."  Instead it is a "fare bridge," so you get sign messages like "last exit before fare," "pay fare 1 mile," "bridge fares" followed by amount charged per axle, etc.  It is just as annoying as North Dakota referring to fines for traffic infractions (like speeding) as "fees."

In 2006, MDOT printed the last state highway map to refer to them as "fare facilities", switching instead to "Bridge and Tunnel Tolls" for the same box on the map in 2007.

cjk374

Do modern vehicles have a slow-acting self-destruct sequence that activates at a certain reading on the odometer?

Why is it that after working in the rain all day...feeling miserable and disgusting...the first thing I wanna do is take a shower, and it feels great??

Why do clowns exist? I at least have a good reason for mosquitoes to exist.

Will eating a hamburger cure you of your fear of cows?

Why must foods give you gas...up to & including baked ice water casserole?
Runnin' roads and polishin' rails.

hm insulators

If a parsley farmer loses a lawsuit but won't pay the money, do they garnish his wages?
Remember: If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.

I'd rather be a child of the road than a son of a ditch.


At what age do you tell a highway that it's been adopted?

roadman

In DVD re-issues of older movies, why is the movie restored to near-pristine quality, but the trailer (when included) isn't ?
"And ninety-five is the route you were on.  It was not the speed limit sign."  - Jim Croce (from Speedball Tucker)

"My life has been a tapestry
Of years of roads and highway signs" (with apologies to Carole King and Tom Rush)

cjk374

If Jack the midget rode into town on a horse and had trouble dismounting, would you help Jack off the horse?
Runnin' roads and polishin' rails.

SSOWorld

Why a woman wears a "pair" of panties but just one bra?

Gallagher:
*If your knees bent the other way, what would a chair look like?

George Carlin:
*"I got fired from a show in Las Vegas at the Frontier Hotel for saying 'shit'. In a town where the big game is called Craps. ...Never made sense to me."
*"Place the turkey in a pre-heated oven! It's ridiculous! There are only two states an oven can possibly exist in, heated or un-heated!"
*"Flammable... Inflammable... Non-Inflammable. Shouldn't two words be enough to cover that?"
Scott O.

Not all who wander are lost...
Ah, the open skies, wind at my back, warm sun on my... wait, where the hell am I?!
As a matter of fact, I do own the road.
Raise your what?

Wisconsin - out-multiplexing your state since 1918.

kphoger

Quote from: SSOWorld on October 15, 2016, 10:30:49 AM
Why a woman wears a "pair" of panties but just one bra?

I have been known to have arguments with my wife about this one.  She simply doesn't know when to stop with me....
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

J N Winkler

Quote from: cjk374 on October 11, 2016, 06:17:32 PMDo modern vehicles have a slow-acting self-destruct sequence that activates at a certain reading on the odometer?

The line between inherent vice and planned obsolescence is often hard to define, but I suspect the following parts of having been used for the latter over the years:

*  Fenders up to about 1990 or so:  These used to be a single stamping of sheet steel and rust would typically initiate from the bottom upward, starting at either stone chip impact points around or behind the wheel wells, or at triple-layer welded joints for which quality control is very hard to do (I had the latter problem with a 1986 Nissan Maxima).  Now fender rust is rare since fenders are usually two-part components--the upper part is still (usually) stamped sheet steel while the bottom part is plastic and is part of the bumper cover.

*  Headliners after about 1990 or so:  It is perfectly possible to make a headliner that won't collapse or exhibit signs of fabric delamination even after 20 years; the secret is to use woven plastic.  My 1986 Nissan Maxima had a headliner that looked almost brand-new after 22 years.  Nowadays, however, headliners tend to be made of fabric glued to sponge foam that in turn is glued to a shaped particleboard backing.  After about ten years, depending in part on whether the car is parked outdoors, the fabric tends either to tear and hang down in shreds (this started happening to my 1994 Saturn SL2 after 21 years), or to come loose of the sponge foam and hang down in billows that can obscure the view through the inside rearview mirror.  Short-term solutions are available (tape, thumbtacks, etc.), but the only long-term solution is to rebuild the headliner, which entails removing trim so that the headliner shell can be dropped and taken out and scraped out, with new headliner fabric secured using industrial glue.  Contrary to the stereotype of car guys as men's men uninterested in traditionally feminine crafts, anyone who has done a headliner rebuild is very familiar with the fabric matching options at Joann's.

*  Rear oxygen sensors after 1996:  OBD II (now required by the EPA) uses a rear oxygen sensor to monitor the efficiency of the catalytic converter.  Unlike the front oxygen sensor, which is used to keep the air-fuel mixture from leaning out and burning the valves, the rear oxygen sensor has no control function and is a pure artifact of regulatory compliance.  When the catalyst goes bad, or the sensor itself goes bad, it sets a CEL that is usually uneconomic to repair except in states that require clean OBD II diagnostics for re-registration and seriously impairs customer satisfaction.

Quote from: cjk374 on October 11, 2016, 06:17:32 PMWhy must foods give you gas...up to & including baked ice water casserole?

There are a few sources of intestinal gas that tend to be poorly controlled because they are non-obvious.

*  Air ingested while eating.

*  Step increases in fiber consumption (very common for Americans since just 2%-10% of the US population gets 100% or more of the fiber RDA on an ongoing basis).

*  Failure to soak dry beans before cooking.
"It is necessary to spend a hundred lire now to save a thousand lire later."--Piero Puricelli, explaining the need for a first-class road system to Benito Mussolini

roadman

In light of last night's Cubs win - Why is baseball's final championship called the World Series, when the only teams in the leagues are from the US and Canada?
"And ninety-five is the route you were on.  It was not the speed limit sign."  - Jim Croce (from Speedball Tucker)

"My life has been a tapestry
Of years of roads and highway signs" (with apologies to Carole King and Tom Rush)

The Nature Boy

Quote from: roadman on November 03, 2016, 01:06:14 PM
In light of last night's Cubs win - Why is baseball's final championship called the World Series, when the only teams in the leagues are from the US and Canada?

Well duh

It's because the players are from all over the world.

CNGL-Leudimin

I've read it's called World Series after a newspaper called New York World. And I think this should be called North America Series (to take into account the Blue Jays, who don't play in the USA), as a true World Series should see Chicago Cubs playing against Japanese champions Hokkaido Fighters (if such a series was to be played this year).
Supporter of the construction of several running gags, including I-366 with a speed limit of 85 mph (137 km/h) and the Hypotenuse.

Please note that I may mention "invalid" FM channels, i.e. ending in an even number or down to 87.5. These are valid in Europe.

GaryV

Quote from: CNGL-Leudimin on November 04, 2016, 08:02:25 AM
I've read it's called World Series after a newspaper called New York World. ...
Snopes says no:  http://www.snopes.com/business/names/worldseries.asp
But they don't give any concrete explanation for the name, other than it was used way back when.

inkyatari

"Have you ever noticed that you never seem to get laid much on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed." - Geoerge Carlin
I'm never wrong, just wildly inaccurate.

hm insulators

The locomotives are still loco and they have no motive. What should I do?
Remember: If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.

I'd rather be a child of the road than a son of a ditch.


At what age do you tell a highway that it's been adopted?

cjk374

Quote from: hm insulators on November 10, 2016, 03:16:55 PM
The locomotives are still loco and they have no motive. What should I do?

Call NRE to get them fixed. With us, NRE does not stand for National Railway Equipment...it stands for No Running Engines.

Their field repair contractors suck.
Runnin' roads and polishin' rails.

Takumi

Quote from: Rothman on July 15, 2021, 07:52:59 AM
Olive Garden must be stopped.  I must stop them.

Don't @ me. Seriously.

wanderer2575

Quote from: roadman on November 03, 2016, 01:06:14 PM
In light of last night's Cubs win - Why is baseball's final championship called the World Series, when the only teams in the leagues are from the US and Canada?

I'd guess no other reason than it was the most grandiose name they could think of.  Same reason the NFL's final championship game is called the Super Bowl.

Other unanswered ponderables I have seen:
*  Why is the word "abbreviated" so long?
*  Whose cruel idea was it to put a "s" in the word "lisp"?
*  Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
*  Why is it that Superman can stop bullets with his chest, but he ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
*  Why do I have to press "ONE" for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
*  Why do people pay money to go up in tall buildings, and then put more money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
*  Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but they don't point at their crotch when they ask for directions to the bathroom?
*  Who were the beta-testers for Preparations A through G?

J N Winkler

Quote from: wanderer2575 on November 19, 2016, 08:01:51 PM*  Who were the beta-testers for Preparations A through G?

Preparation H gets its name from hemorrhoids, so you might equally well ask what it is called in countries where the local word for this condition does not start with H.  And the formulation itself varies from country to country (hydrocortisone in some, phenylephrine in others, etc.).

For what it is worth, the article on hemorrhoids in Italian Wikipedia (which, BTW, has a star) speaks of the available topical remedies in entirely generic terms:

Quote from: Italian Wikipedia article on 'emorroidi'Il trattamento conservativo consiste tipicamente nell'aumentare l'assunzione di fibre alimentari e di fluidi per mantenere l'idratazione, di assumere anti-infiammatori non steroidei (FANS) e, in aggiunta, viene consigliato il riposo.[3] L'assunzione maggiore di fibre ha dimostrato di migliorare i risultati[50] e può essere ottenuta con una modifica della dieta o grazie al consumo di integratori alimentari.[3][50]

Mentre molti agenti topici e supposte sono disponibili per il trattamento delle emorroidi, vi sono poche prove per sostenerne il loro uso.[3] Preparati contenenti steroidi non devono essere usati per più di due settimane in quanto possono causare assottigliamento della pelle.[3] La maggior parte degli agenti comprendono una combinazione di principi attivi.[18] Questi possono includere una crema come vaselina oppure ossido di zinco, un analgesico come la lidocaina e un vasocostrittore come l'adrenalina. Possibile anche l'impiego di preparazioni contenenti dobesilato o mesalazina.[18] I flavonoidi sono di discutibile beneficio con potenziali effetti collaterali.[18][51] In caso di gravidanza i sintomi, solitamente, si risolvono dopo il parto e quindi il trattamento viene ritardato fino a quel momento per determinare se è ancora necessario.[52]
"It is necessary to spend a hundred lire now to save a thousand lire later."--Piero Puricelli, explaining the need for a first-class road system to Benito Mussolini

kphoger

Quote from: wanderer2575 on November 19, 2016, 08:01:51 PM
*  Why do people pay money to go up in tall buildings, and then put more money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Because it's really hard to see all those places with your own binoculars while standing on the sidewalk down below.
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

sparker

Quote from: kphoger on November 19, 2016, 09:02:42 PM
Quote from: wanderer2575 on November 19, 2016, 08:01:51 PM
*  Why do people pay money to go up in tall buildings, and then put more money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Because it's really hard to see all those places with your own binoculars while standing on the sidewalk down below.

Also, if you're using your own binoculars, folks might think that you're doing something a bit pervy (so many windows; so little time)!

inkyatari

Favorite Ice Cream Toppings of the Lactose Intolerant
I'm never wrong, just wildly inaccurate.

sparker

If you acquire a female llama, can you resist the temptation to name her "Dolly"?

Takumi

How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
Quote from: Rothman on July 15, 2021, 07:52:59 AM
Olive Garden must be stopped.  I must stop them.

Don't @ me. Seriously.



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