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Important Things We've Learned in the Movies

Started by hm insulators, May 23, 2017, 01:33:27 PM

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hm insulators

Even in L.A. rush-hour traffic, your SUV will have no trouble staying ahead of the fracturing earthquake fault.

Grenades choose sides.

Fire hydrants are for cars to knock over.

Here's one for the ladies: If you're all along in the spooky haunted house and you hear a strange noise, you must investigate while wearing just your underwear.

It is best not to let dinosaurs run amok.

Jukeboxes magically start up all by themselves during barroom fights.
Remember: If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.

I'd rather be a child of the road than a son of a ditch.


At what age do you tell a highway that it's been adopted?


jeffandnicole

A car can drive off a cliff, crash, and the occupants get out with barely a scratch.

A car can bump another car, and the ensuing explosion can be seen hundreds of miles away.  The occupants get out with barely a scratch.

roadgeek01

There is always a spot for your car, even in large cities
Your elevator trip will last for the entirety of your conversation
pork bork my hork

idk what it means either

Mr. Matté

In every indoor scene in Paris, there is a view of the Eiffel Tower.

(I had a T-shirt in middle/high school that had exactly this, but the Paris one was the only one I remembered. I also had "All I know, I learned from Family Guy")

formulanone

It's always Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

Computers still beep and boot up in three seconds.

Every type of law enforcement uses an OS that requires nearly infinite screen resolution.

Front-wheel drive cars can skid the rear wheels and perform burnouts.

Cars never start when you need them.

Cars break down in the desert in the daytime, or in swamps and forests at night.

Even in the largest cities, thousands of stars are visible with the naked eye at night.

Nobody finishes their meals.

People always use the correct amount of body language.

Everyone's apparently an interior designer in their spare time.

People have a lot of spare time to be experts at everything.

Everyone takes a bullet and dies. The hero just gets angrier. The villain requires at least ten.

Dogs, cats, and children are never collateral damage.

nexus73

US 101 is THE backbone of the Pacific coast from Bandon OR to Willits CA.  Industry, tourism and local traffic would be gone or severely crippled without it being in functioning condition in BOTH states.

formulanone

Quote from: nexus73 on May 23, 2017, 08:42:25 PM
Bathrooms, who needs 'em?

...but they're perfect places to have conversations with co-workers!

thenetwork

Cartoon Edition:

- Falling anvils can and will blow right through a bridge deck, yet will bounce off of high-tension and/or telephone wires .
- Dinosaurs were used as bridges back in the day.
- ACME instant holes only work on roads on occasion.
- A train always comes out of a railroad tunnel when one enters one or is by the portal.
- It is possible to leave an actual road and enter a painted roadway tunnel or roadscape, unless you were the one who painted it.
- Nobody gets out of a car wash without getting soaked & scrubbed.

Rushmeister

Bad guys can't shoot straight.
Good guys never miss.
...and then the psychiatrist chuckled.

jeffandnicole

Fast moving cars go down crowded streets, with barely enough room to pass between every car.  Every vehicle that was passed, even though they're going 25 mph, instantly slides out of control into opposing traffic.

plain

Leave riding motorcycles on sidewalks to the professionals
Newark born, Richmond bred

LM117

Quote from: jeffandnicole on May 23, 2017, 01:41:59 PM
A car can drive off a cliff, crash, and the occupants get out with barely a scratch.

A car can bump another car, and the ensuing explosion can be seen hundreds of miles away.  The occupants get out with barely a scratch.

Been watching the Fast & Furious movies, eh?
“I don’t know whether to wind my ass or scratch my watch!” - Jim Cornette

GaryV

All phones are answered on the first ring.

lepidopteran

When people return from grocery shopping, they always have French bread and carrots in their bag.  The bread always sticks out the top (no packaging or anything), as do the carrot greens.  No one ever purchases carrots in orange plastic bags.  Also, round fruit is never placed in clear, twist-tied bags, as evidenced by the fact that a ripped grocery bag will end up with apples/oranges rolling all around.
And it's always paper, never plastic.

People seem to watch an awful lot of westerns on TV.  Not only that, but there seems to be a chase scene on most of the time; even if we can't see their TV screen, we can clearly hear all the gunshots, hoof beats, with perhaps a horse whinnying or bugle Cavalry Charge in there somewhere.  Less often, when we can see what their watching, there's a cattle drive through the center of town for some reason.

People who don't regularly watch westerns (Family Guy) prefer old-school channels that still have end-of-commercial bumpers, as in, "We now return to ________".  Silly me, I thought most networks did away with those.

kkt

One in a million poker hands happen a couple of times an evening.

formulanone

Quote from: jeffandnicole on May 24, 2017, 12:35:08 PM
Fast moving cars go down crowded streets, with barely enough room to pass between every car.  Every vehicle that was passed, even though they're going 25 mph, instantly slides out of control into opposing traffic.

The exception is for cars that need to explode on impact.

(We'd all be dead by now.)

sparker

If you're an actress playing a secondary/recurring character in a Donald Bellisario (NCIS and its cohorts) series, make sure you've got your next gig lined up -- your character will have a very limited lifespan (see the second from the last point in reply #4 above)!

Max Rockatansky

#17
-  If the bus goes below 50 MPH it blows up....so what do you do?

-  People thought 88 MPH was fast in the 1980s.

-  That high school students are supposed to look like adults in their late 20s/early 30s.  The super nerdy kid also gets the "slow clap" at the end of some dance or social event.

-  That the Post Apocalypse has really fuel inefficient cars.

-  That Willy Wonka was the greatest killer of all time.  Just watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, you never "see" the kids at the end of the movie. 



thenetwork

People who live in apartments that have to buzz-in guests have the fastest elevators...Once guests and/or friends get buzzed in, they usually arrive at the upper level apartment in under 30 seconds or less.

(Yes, this is more of a Seinfeld observation, but it happens in the movies as well).

Max Rockatansky

-  Not only is it possible to jump from moving cars or from tall buildings to a safe footing, it is extremely easy to do.

-  Fanning your shot with a single action revolver ensure perfect accuracy.

-  All aliens have a humanoid appearance....and are burned by water.

-  That it not only possible to have lucid dreams but have several that co-exist on layers.

wanderer2575

It's easy for anyone to land an airplane, provided there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.

It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

A detective can solve a case only after he has been suspended from duty.

It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

It doesn't matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts -- your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it is not necessary to speak the language.  A German accent will do.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place.  No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war -- unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

Even when driving along a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

If you travel back (or forward) in time, you will become injured and/or your time machine will be damaged.  No matter how large the population where you are, the person coming to your aid will be a past (or future) relative.

OracleUsr

You can set jet fuel on fire in the snow with a lighter

And blow up a fully-fueled plane.

You can walk up to a strange computer type in "play (game)" and it work

"&(*#5 ME!!!!" = "Oh, darn"

Anti-center-tabbing, anti-sequential-numbering, anti-Clearview BGS FAN

Max Rockatansky

-  If you want the ultimate in hedonistic pleasure solve the puzzle box.

-  In space nobody can hear you scream.

-  You can absorb your friends talents by letting them fall prey to a "child killer" in the dream realm.

-  Some people just want to play a game.

-  William Shatner masks given you immunity to harm; namely gunshot wounds and being blown up.

-  Don't be screwing around with your girlfriend when the mentally handicapped kid is near the normal kids and lake.

-  It isn't safe to go back into the water.

-  The recently dead make the best dwarfs for high gravity dimensions and their brains can be used to operate metal sphere drones.

-  Teleporters are a hell of gene splicer.

-  Everyone in Maine is an alcoholic or a religious zealot.


roadman

Quote from: thenetwork on May 23, 2017, 09:13:24 PM
Cartoon Edition:

- Falling anvils can and will blow right through a bridge deck, yet will bounce off of high-tension and/or telephone wires .
- Dinosaurs were used as bridges back in the day.
- ACME instant holes only work on roads on occasion.
- A train always comes out of a railroad tunnel when one enters one or is by the portal.
- It is possible to leave an actual road and enter a painted roadway tunnel or roadscape, unless you were the one who painted it.
- Nobody gets out of a car wash without getting soaked & scrubbed.

You forgot the most important rule of cartoons:  The law of gravity doesn't apply unless you look down only after stepping off the cliff.
"And ninety-five is the route you were on.  It was not the speed limit sign."  - Jim Croce (from Speedball Tucker)

"My life has been a tapestry
Of years of roads and highway signs" (with apologies to Carole King and Tom Rush)

roadman

#24
Quote from: wanderer2575 on May 24, 2017, 11:00:17 PM
It's easy for anyone to land an airplane, provided there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

Some years back, Mythbusters did a segment on this very subject using an aircraft simulator.  They concluded that it, while it was virtually impossible for an untrained person to land an airplane by the "seat of their pants" (i.e. with no intervention or help) without crashing it, it was fairly easy for the same person to successfully land the same plane when given instruction and guidance from ATC.

There was also a recent case in Great Britain where a private pilot died at the controls of a Cessna, and the passenger (who had NO flying experience) successfully landed the plane based on ATC instructions.

So, while the scenario typically depicted in most movies is highly unlikely to occur in real life, it is not entirely implausible for an untrained person to land an airplane.
"And ninety-five is the route you were on.  It was not the speed limit sign."  - Jim Croce (from Speedball Tucker)

"My life has been a tapestry
Of years of roads and highway signs" (with apologies to Carole King and Tom Rush)



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