Asking a girl on a date question (I'm 20)

[kphoger]

If she says you remind her of a family member, welcome to the friend zone.

Unless you can stick it out for several years until she realizes everyone else is not what she wants in a man, and what she actually desires is someone like her father.  Cause then you're IN, baby! 

[cl94]

NOOO!!!!   BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD.

Don't hand her a stinking card, my friend....!!



Oh dear me....

Just ask her out.

Let's repeat that last part:

JUST ASK HER OUT

[1995hoo]

Since I won't have a lot of time to talk to her would this would?

Me: "Here's my number (hand her a card with my name and number on it). If you'd like to go out to dinner or to a movie later or some other time just hmu"

1. Don't make her call you. Ask for her number if you absolutely cannot get it scheduled face to face (and if you get to the point, it should only take a minute to schedule).
2. "Some time" is not a date. At least say "this weekend," "next week," etc. If she'd like to but can't that soon, she'll tell you that.
3. Save "hmu" for your bros. That's not how you ask someone on a date.

Another thought regarding #2.....if a girl gives you some excuse, it can be tough to know whether it's a real excuse or whether she isn't interested but doesn't want to say "no." I remember a couple of times where I assumed (wrongly, it turned out later) that it was the latter and I didn't ask again. Then later with another girl, one I really liked, I decided to take it as a real excuse and it turned out she WAS doing the "didn't want to say 'no'" thing. That one really stung and I more or less just gave up for two or three years.

There's no good solution, but looking back some 20—23 years later, as much as it stung, I'm glad I made the last girl finally admit she wasn't interested because at least I knew. I think I asked three times before she said she liked me only as a friend. When I have later learned that one of the other ones would have been interested if I'd asked again and not assumed she was playing games, I think that one bugged me more.

[corco]

NOOO!!!!   BAD, BAD, BAD, BAD.

Don't hand her a stinking card, my friend....!!



Oh dear me....

Just ask her out.

Let's repeat that last part:

JUST ASK HER OUT

To emphasize further
JUST ASK HER OUT

[jeffandnicole]

Don't say you think you have a lot in common.  It sounds like you're making a practical decision based on factors of compatibility.  Sexy, right?

Tell her you'd like to do _____ with her (the date thing, not the other thing).  What she wants to hear is that you want to spend time with her because you enjoy her company.

Since I won't have a lot of time to talk to her would this would?

Me: "Here's my number (hand her a card with my name and number on it). If you'd like to go out to dinner or to a movie later or some other time just hmu"

LOL...

I was handed a card once by a girl...when I was working a toll booth on the NJ Turnpike!  It was all glittery and such.  It was literaly a business card with her name and number on it.  Eventually in our 30 second talk which was going to go nowhere since I was married, I handed her the card back.  I told a lot of people about that one.

So...to sum that up:  Business cards are good to have clients remember you.  Cards are good for friends to remember you...as being a topic of a joke.

JUST ASK HER OUT.

[LM117]

[kkt]

?

[LM117]

?

Whoops, didn't realize the link was broke. Lemme try this again...

[hbelkins]

Yeah, don't say you have something in common and do not say she reminds you of a family member. DON'T. If she says you remind her of a family member, welcome to the friend zone.

Had one tell me I looked like her brother once upon a time. 

[cl94]

Yeah, don't say you have something in common and do not say she reminds you of a family member. DON'T. If she says you remind her of a family member, welcome to the friend zone.

Had one tell me I looked like her brother once upon a time. 

One told me I reminded her of her dad and grandfather... gee, thanks 

[Duke87]

This thread is on its fifth page and the OP still has not asked the girl out.

[slorydn1]

This thread is on its fifth page and the OP still has not asked the girl out.

Which is the story of all of our lives, once upon a time. 

[Takumi]

I ended up asking the girl out, and she said yes, but only as friends because she already has a boyfriend. She could have told me that before...

...epilogue: my German coworker showed me a few pictures of her niece, who's a year younger than me, single, attractive, and visiting the US this summer. I'm over the last one.

[DaBigE]

I ended up asking the girl out, and she said yes, but only as friends because she already has a boyfriend. She could have told me that before...

...epilogue: my German coworker showed me a few pictures of her niece, who's a year younger than me, single, attractive, and visiting the US this summer. I'm over the last one.

It could also mean that things aren't all that great with the current bf, and she's beginning to open up to other options. Don't totally discount just starting as friends. Had I not been so oblivious in college, I would have noticed that a girl, who was taken at the time, ended up being more interested in me than who she was seeing at the time.

[Takumi]

Thanks, but the wording implied it's not happening.

[LM117]

I ended up asking the girl out, and she said yes, but only as friends because she already has a boyfriend. She could have told me that before...

Ouch...

[Scott5114]

^ n.b. for anyone who may have misinterpreted (I was momentarily), that wasn't the OP.

[Takumi]

Yeah, just happened to have a similar situation going on.

[peperodriguez2710]

Why you don't try making a WhatsApp group of all the coworkers in order to get her number?
Then you can contact with her out of work and you can always ask things about work and that to the other coworkers if you need.

It's just an idea, good luck and don't worry! 

[kkt]

Yes, for someone who's 20, Takumi looks awfully 30.

[jwolfer]

Another thing for the OP... When you go on your date, dont let it turn into a work bitch or gossip session... Real easy to turn that way since y'all work together.

Remember to ask her open ended questions and let her talk, and you listen. You dont want to be a "know it all" or "one upper"... I can very easily become a know it all.. I have to fight it... Thanks ADHD LOL

LGMS428

[1995hoo]

OK, OP, time for an update!

[slorydn1]

OK, OP, time for an update!

^YEAH....WHAT HE SAID!!^

[Rothman]

There's only one solution to this issue:  Beat up the boyfriend.

[kkt]

I bet the OP is sorry he asked by now