Some things to ponder

[hm insulators]

Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

Why do toasters have a setting that burns the toast to charcoal, which no decent human would ever eat?

What did Robinson Crusoe do with Friday on a Saturday night?

If a fire station catches fire, who do they call?

Why do the waiters/waitresses at Mexican restaurants always wait until I have a mouthful of chips and salsa before they ask me for my order?

[bandit957]

Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

Because it bips.

What disease did cured ham actually have?

Bipping disease.

Why do toasters have a setting that burns the toast to charcoal, which no decent human would ever eat?

Because it bips.

What did Robinson Crusoe do with Friday on a Saturday night?

Stink.

If a fire station catches fire, who do they call?

Ronald Reagan.

Why do the waiters/waitresses at Mexican restaurants always wait until I have a mouthful of chips and salsa before they ask me for my order?

Because it bips.

[hotdogPi]

If a fire station catches fire, who do they call?

Ronald Reagan.

Insert obligatory NE2 quote here.

(Note: Buildings themselves, even fire stations, don't have the ability to call anyone.)

[Max Rockatansky]

If a fire station catches fire, who do they call?

Ronald Reagan.

Insert obligatory NE2 quote here.

(Note: Buildings themselves, even fire stations, don't have the ability to call anyone.)

Actually if they have a fire alarm panel technically it would call an alarm company....which by extension is part of the building making the call. 

[andrewkbrown]

If a fire station catches fire, who do they call?

Ronald Reagan.

Insert obligatory NE2 quote here.

(Note: Buildings themselves, even fire stations, don't have the ability to call anyone.)

Actually if they have a fire alarm panel technically it would call an alarm company....which by extension is part of the building making the call. 

A few years ago, some food was left cooking on the stove of my firehouse when we left for a run. Washington DC's fire museum is located on the 3rd floor of the firehouse, and it has a fire/burglar alarm. Smoke filled the first and second floors thick enough that it reached the third floor and activated the fire alarm. Returning to the station and still several blocks away, my engine company was dispatched for a fire call for fire alarm activation to our own firehouse's address.

[Max Rockatansky]

Ironically I had a building fire a couple years back and the fire department managed to get there within five minutes to put it out.  The irony was that it was the fire panel catching on fire due to catching a massive surge which was the source.     Somehow it managed to dial out for help before the insulators on all the wires melted down too goo.

[amroad17]

Is this in the vein of "why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway"?

[kphoger]

Why, why did I click on this topic??

Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

To find out if you're a phony.

What disease did cured ham actually have?

Trichinella.

Why do toasters have a setting that burns the toast to charcoal, which no decent human would ever eat?

To train you to not walk away from food while it's cooking.

What did Robinson Crusoe do with Friday on a Saturday night?

He grilled him over an open fire and sprinkled him liberally with salt and pepper.

If a fire station catches fire, who do they call?

Another fire station.

Why do the waiters/waitresses at Mexican restaurants always wait until I have a mouthful of chips and salsa before they ask me for my order?

They think you're sexy.

[Max Rockatansky]

Is this in the vein of "why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway"?

Or a Turnpike that actually really for the most part in modern terms a limited access toll road with as minimal turns as possible?   Should it just be Toll Pike?

[bandit957]

I've always pondered whether anyone has ever dislodged their dentures by blowing a bubble with bubble gum.

[amroad17]

Is this in the vein of "why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway"?

Or a Turnpike that actually really for the most part in modern terms a limited access toll road with as minimal turns as possible?   Should it just be Toll Pike?

Indiana calls theirs a Toll Road.

Have you dabbled in law?  Your response sounded very legalese to me. 

[kphoger]

whether anyone has ever dislodged their dentures by blowing a bubble with bubble gum.

Yes.  Probably.

[1995hoo]

Is this in the vein of "why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway"?

I drive on my driveway in order to enter and exit the garage.



Tomorrow's Washington Post crossword has a theme similar to this thread. "Captain Obvious" pays a visit. The theme clues are things like: "_______, that info will be unfamiliar."

In case someone here might do the puzzle, I've made the answer small and in white text so it won't be too visible:

"Before you know it"

[kphoger]

Sanction is its own antonym.

1.
give official permission or approval for (an action).

2.
impose a sanction or penalty on.

[CNGL-Leudimin]

Is this in the vein of "why do we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway"?

I wonder why tolled freeways exist.

[hm insulators]

What deranged, sadistic individual would be so cruel to his fellow human beings that he would have to invent the children's swimming pool game called "Marco Polo" and foist it upon the general public? Kids play it for hours non-stop! "MARCO!" "POLO!" "MARCO!" "POLO!" "MARCO!" "POLO!" I hated that damn game when I was a kid.

[hm insulators]

Why are eggs packed in a box that collapses when you toss your mail on it, and pliers are put in a package you have to use a chainsaw to open?

[Scott5114]

Why are eggs packed in a box that collapses when you toss your mail on it, and pliers are put in a package you have to use a chainsaw to open?

Have you tried tossing your mail on the pliers?

[cpzilliacus]

A few years ago, some food was left cooking on the stove of my firehouse when we left for a run. Washington DC's fire museum is located on the 3rd floor of the firehouse, and it has a fire/burglar alarm. Smoke filled the first and second floors thick enough that it reached the third floor and activated the fire alarm. Returning to the station and still several blocks away, my engine company was dispatched for a fire call for fire alarm activation to our own firehouse's address.

Years ago (1965), in nearby Montgomery  County, Maryland, Fire Station 17 (Laytonsville) burned to the ground, taking most of the volunteer fire company's apparatus and other equipment with it.   You can read about it here.

[J N Winkler]

Or a Turnpike that actually really for the most part in modern terms a limited access toll road with as minimal turns as possible?   Should it just be Toll Pike?

The word turnpike is descended from the original (seventeenth century) British concept of a toll road, where payment of tolls was enforced by actual turnstiles.  It is increasingly anachronistic now that tollbooths with swinging-arm barriers, a staple of US public-authority turnpikes from the 1940's onward, are giving way to electronic toll collection.  However, I object to it less than I do to state-specific nomenclatures that seem highly precious.  For example, in Michigan the Mackinac Bridge is nowhere referred to as a "toll bridge."  Instead it is a "fare bridge," so you get sign messages like "last exit before fare," "pay fare 1 mile," "bridge fares" followed by amount charged per axle, etc.  It is just as annoying as North Dakota referring to fines for traffic infractions (like speeding) as "fees."

[GaryV]

...
For example, in Michigan the Mackinac Bridge is nowhere referred to as a "toll bridge."  Instead it is a "fare bridge," so you get sign messages like "last exit before fare," "pay fare 1 mile," "bridge fares" followed by amount charged per axle, etc.  ...

Maybe because it replaced a ferry?

[J N Winkler]

Maybe because it replaced a ferry?

There must have been a reason for using the word fare instead of toll that at the time seemed absolutely compelling, but I am not sure how to go about finding what it was (the exhibits at the visitor center in St. Ignace, for example, are completely silent on this question, though several boards deal with the state-operated auto ferry service that started in the 1920's in response to complaints about the former railroad ferries).  In other jurisdictions where a fixed crossing replaced ferry service, as with the San Francisco Bay Bridge, there haven't seemed to be any problems referring to the new link as a toll bridge or toll crossing.

[jwolfer]

This probably has to do with the way the law was written. Perhaps Michigan had a prohibition of toll roads, but a fare for use is a loophole?

[J N Winkler]

That is an interesting possibility, but it doesn't seem to be borne out by the enabling statute for the Mackinac Bridge Authority, MCL Act 214 of 1952 (my bold):

http://www.legislature.mi.gov/(S(foj0v2vdpi4cko45zodsehm5))/documents/mcl/pdf/mcl-act-214-of-1952.pdf

AN  ACT  authorizing  the  Mackinac  bridge  authority  to  acquire  a  bridge  connecting  the  upper  and  lower peninsulas  of  Michigan,  including  causeways,  tunnels,  roads  and  all  useful  related  equipment  and  facilities, including  park,  parking,  recreation,  lighting  and  terminal  facilities;  extending  the  corporate  existence  of  the authority;  authorizing  such  authority  to  enjoy  and  carry  out  all  powers  incident  to  its  corporate  objects; authorizing  the  appropriation  and  use  of  state  funds  for  the  preliminary  purposes  of  the  authority;  providing for  the  payment  of  the  cost  of  such  bridge  and  in  that  connection  authorizing  the  authority  to  issue  revenue bonds  payable  solely  from  the  revenues  of  the  bridge;  granting  the  right  of  condemnation  to  the  authority; granting the use of state land and property to the authority; making provisions for the payment and security of such  bonds  and  granting  certain  rights  and  remedies  to  the  holders  thereof;  authorizing  banks  and  trust companies  to  perform  certain  acts  in  connection  therewith;  authorizing  the  imposition  of  tolls  and  charges; authorizing  the  authority  to  secure  the  consent  of  the  United  States  government  to  the  construction  of  the bridge  and  to  secure  approval  of  plans,  specifications  and  location  of  same;  authorizing  employment  of engineers  irrespective  of  whether  such  engineers  have  been  previously  employed  to  make  preliminary inspections  or  reports  with  respect  to  the  bridge;  authorizing  the  state  highway  department  to  operate  and maintain  such  bridge  or  to  contribute  thereto  and  enter  into  leases  and  agreements  in  connection  therewith; exempting such bonds and the property of the authority from taxation; prohibiting competing traffic facilities; authorizing  the  operation  of  ferries  by  the  authority;  providing  for  the  construction  and  use  of  certain buildings; and making an appropriation.

[TheHighwayMan3561]

Why is it that the side dishes always taste better than the main course at meals?