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A person Chewed Gum And Thought It Was Funny

Started by bandit957, March 28, 2017, 03:56:11 PM

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bandit957

This is a phrase I can't get out of my head, because it's just so hilarious.

A few months ago, I wrote an article titled "A person chewed gum and thought it was funny." It was about some kid in high school who chewed bubble gum at school (where it wasn't allowed), popped it loudly, and then he burst out laughing. His laughing started mid-pop, and it sounded like he was about to choke.

Ever since then, the uproarious title of this article has been stuck in my head, and I can't get it out.

Have you ever Chewed Gum And Thought It Was Funny?
Might as well face it, pooing is cool


Brandon

"If you think this has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention." - Ramsay Bolton, "Game of Thrones"

"Symbolic of his struggle against reality." - Reg, "Monty Python's Life of Brian"

kphoger

Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

pumpkineater2

Only all the time. I mean, who doesn't???
Come ride with me to the distant shore...

inkyatari

No.  Mainly because I'm so uncoordinated that I end up biting my tongue.
I'm never wrong, just wildly inaccurate.

bandit957

Another funny article title I came up with recently is "A person bubbled with poo-poo gum."
Might as well face it, pooing is cool

bandit957

From Nov. '16:

A person chewed gum and thought it was funny

Something ridiculous involving gum happened once in high school. Imagine that!
It was at the feared and hated Bishop Brossart High School, of course. Where else? The toilet?
One day, I was sitting through another miserable class in the main building when I heard a familiar sound emanating from the hallway. It was the audio of bubble gum poppage. By that, I don't mean bubbling. I mean that incredibly loud popping that people sometimes make with beegee without blowing a bubble. A lot of us cool people who have punk rocker teeth were never able to do this. I know people who have awesome crooked teeth and a rad overbite who can puff out a kick-ass bubble but can't produce this popping sound. They claim to have set aside entire afternoons to attempt it–to no avail. Coolsters are only human, after all. Irregular chompers are usually a plus, but that doesn't mean you can do everything.
The bubble gum busting I heard at Brossart sounded like gunfire. Boom! Pow! Kablammo! But right in the middle of this series of pops, the guy responsible for the noise suddenly burst into laughter. One of the loud cracking sounds seamlessly flowed into helpless guffawing. I don't know who he was. But one thing is for sure: He worked that gum like a gummer (as an intelligent person would say).
He sounded like this: "Pop! Pop! Hahahahaha!"  The transition from the smacking to the laughter sounded so strange that it sounded like he inhaled his gum. You had to be there!
I don't know why he thought it was so funny. He acted like he was the only person in the world who ever chewed gum. I guess he thought it was funny because the noise was disrupting class–so maybe he was right to laugh. I got an image in my mind of a student walking down the hall, holding his hand over his mouth so teachers couldn't see he was chewing gum, even as he cracked it loudly. (By the way, the reason I hold my hand in front my mouth when I laugh isn't to hide bubble gum or those punk rocker teeth. The ladies love my twisted gnashers and asymmetrical crossbite–though modern-day robber barons are profoundly disturbed by these features. I got in a habit of putting my hand in front of my mouth when I was in grade school when I laughed because an elderly nun harangued the class about kids shitting on the toilet seat. I didn't want the nun to see I was laughing, because I was afraid I'd get in trouble.)
Odds are that the kid who loudly popped his gum in high school was either a genius or an idiot. I'm guessing genius, because he liked gum. But idiot is also a possibility, because some folks at Brossart enjoyed chewing used wads of gum they found stuck under desks, on the floor of the bus, or in garbage cans.
Gum genius or gum idiot? You be the judge!
Might as well face it, pooing is cool

bandit957

Quote from: bandit957 on March 29, 2017, 05:01:47 PM
Another funny article title I came up with recently is "A person bubbled with poo-poo gum."

I'm not posting that article here, because it's just too political.
Might as well face it, pooing is cool

jakeroot

Are these almost-too-random threads retalitation for biproads failure?

Scott5114

One time I drew a picture of a semi truck whose trailer was shaped like the state of Missouri, which I then laughed at.
uncontrollable freak sardine salad chef

kphoger

Quote from: bandit957 on March 29, 2017, 05:04:49 PM
A person chewed gum and thought it was funny
You had to be there!
[edited for clarity]
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.



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