What do you think of "Managementspeak"?

[paulthemapguy]

All of you in this thread absolutely need to hear this song.

[8.Lug]

I'm so glad I'm a factory worker. If I had to hear any of that crap, well, I'd prolly go work in a factory.

[Jardine]

I'm so glad I'm a factory worker. If I had to hear any of that crap, well, I'd prolly go work in a factory.

Sounds like a "bargaining unit concern" to me.

[SSOWorld]

All of you in this thread absolutely need to hear this song.

...

Try a business, or profession for that matter, that is suffering from Acronym and Abbreviation overload.

[slorydn1]

All of you in this thread absolutely need to hear this song.

...

Try a business, or profession for that matter, that is suffering from Acronym and Abbreviation overload.

UGBFK me!

[paulthemapguy]

All of you in this thread absolutely need to hear this song.

...

Try a business, or profession for that matter, that is suffering from Acronym and Abbreviation overload.

Yeahhhhh...If you could get those TPS reports on my desk by the end of the day, that'd be greeeeeaaat

[busman_49]

I'd really like to see "impactful" die.  While there is some debate on whether or not it's a word, I maintain that it's NOT a word.  But to appease those who swear it's a word, I say it's what my high school English teacher would call a lazy word... "I'm too lazy to come up with an actual word, so I'll make one up."

[jeffandnicole]

I'd really like to see "impactful" die.  While there is some debate on whether or not it's a word, I maintain that it's NOT a word.  But to appease those who swear it's a word, I say it's what my high school English teacher would call a lazy word... "I'm too lazy to come up with an actual word, so I'll make one up."

Isn't that like half the terms used for road and highway stuff??   

[SSOWorld]

All of you in this thread absolutely need to hear this song.

...

Try a business, or profession for that matter, that is suffering from Acronym and Abbreviation overload.

UGBFK me!

WTF? YGTBFKM!

[GCrites]

I'd really like to see "impactful" die.  While there is some debate on whether or not it's a word, I maintain that it's NOT a word.  But to appease those who swear it's a word, I say it's what my high school English teacher would call a lazy word... "I'm too lazy to come up with an actual word, so I'll make one up."

Isn't that like half the terms used for road and highway stuff??   

If a roadgeek term sounds funny I just ask an engineer. Ones that haven't been around roadgeeking usually find our unique terms funny, but others make some roll their eyes -- like BGS.

[slorydn1]

I'd really like to see "impactful" die.  While there is some debate on whether or not it's a word, I maintain that it's NOT a word.  But to appease those who swear it's a word, I say it's what my high school English teacher would call a lazy word... "I'm too lazy to come up with an actual word, so I'll make one up."

Isn't that like half the terms used for road and highway stuff??   

If a roadgeek term sounds funny I just ask an engineer. Ones that haven't been around roadgeeking usually find our unique terms funny, but others make some roll their eyes -- like BGS.

Very true. I've been calling them BGS's for so long I have honestly forgotten what they are really called (Slo grabs the dunce cap and puts his face in the corner).

[hm insulators]

All of you in this thread absolutely need to hear this song.

Funny!

[hbelkins]

Very true. I've been calling them BGS's for so long I have honestly forgotten what they are really called (Slo grabs the dunce cap and puts his face in the corner).

They're called "panel signs" in my office.

[kphoger]

Very true. I've been calling them BGS's for so long I have honestly forgotten what they are really called (Slo grabs the dunce cap and puts his face in the corner).

They're called "panel signs" in my office.

[offtopic]
My bridge engineer friend gets a kick out of "BGS" and brings it up specifically with any of his peers when he mentions the existence of amateur roadgeeks.
[/offtopic]

[Scott5114]

I don't have to deal with managementspeak. Instead, I have a manager who has extraordinarily bad writing skills. Most of the time this is simply funny, like when he consistently refers to ideas as "ideals".

Other times, though, it gets to the point where he will send out a department-wide email that outright confuses everyone to the point that it becomes water cooler gossip as to what point he was actually trying to convey. The most famous incident was when he sent out an email reading in its entirety "Do not remove draw flaps at any time". Nobody had any idea what a draw flap was, and an entire shift went by before someone was able to decipher the meaning and sent out a reply-to-all explaining that a "draw flap" was the boss's term for the little liftable brackets that hold the bills in place in a cash register drawer insert. Most recently, he replied to a department-wide email asking "If a customer refuses to provide a phone number, do we cancel the transaction or complete it anyway?" with only the word "Yes".

They have hired an assistant for him, and part of her unofficial duties involve playing oracle and providing the official interpretation for his emails!

[Jardine]

I've probably mentioned this before, but I had a manager several jobs ago who was begged by the entire department to PLEASE assign priorities to all the pending work in the department as it seemed no matter what we worked on, he always was upset that we hadn't worked on something else.

So, eventually, he did generate a list of priorities of all the jobs we were working on.

Everything was #1 priority except for one project that was priority #6.


It really didn't help the work flow any, but it did help everyone working in his area that he was a total idiot.


And then I had another boss (at another company) who sent all his underlings to a computer training class (for a whole week!) for a computer system he had no budget to acquire.  How these cretins get in management, and then are impossible to get rid of remains a mystery to me.

[freebrickproductions]

How these cretins get in management, and then are impossible to get rid of remains a mystery to me.

Scott Adams explained it in the Dilbert Principle: The most incompetent employees are promoted to middle-management positions so they'll do the least damage. (paraphrasing it a bit here, but you get the idea)

[Brandon]

"Doing More With Less".  What a crock of shit.  Less equals less, never more.

[Brandon]

How these cretins get in management, and then are impossible to get rid of remains a mystery to me.

Scott Adams explained it in the Dilbert Principle: The most incompetent employees are promoted to middle-management positions so they'll do the least damage. (paraphrasing it a bit here, but you get the idea)

Got one of those, but he's been promoted above his pay grade and is actually causing damage.  Wish our boss would see it instead of praising how good he is.

[english si]

Got one of those, but he's been promoted above his pay grade and is actually causing damage.

The Peter Principle holds that people are promoted to the level of their incompetence.

[7/8]

Someone at work today used "touch base" 6 or 7 times in a 5 minute phone call! That seems to me the most common "managementspeak" at my office.

[Max Rockatansky]

For some reason I'm hearing "boots on the ground" a lot lately...you'd swear that it was an active duty combat zone.  I think someone got it out of one those stupid motivation self help books.

[renegade]

I'm so glad I'm a factory worker. If I had to hear any of that crap, well, I'd prolly go work in a factory.

I heard all that bullshit when I worked in a factory!

[tribar]

I'm so glad I'm a factory worker. If I had to hear any of that crap, well, I'd prolly go work in a factory.

I heard all that bullshit when I worked in a factory!

I actually heard more management speak when I worked in a warehouse than the office I work at now. You can't escape it even in a blue collar job.

[texaskdog]

"Due diligence"  "rightsize"  and a point for any time anyone uses a stupid acronym