If my son hits another kid, and in turn that kid hits him back, I'm going to be (a) less sympathetic to my son's cry that he got hurt, and (b) less severe in punishing the other kid. My son had it coming, and the other kid didn't instigate the fight. Of course, I still work very hard to instill the value of nonretaliation, but, in responding to the situation, I make an allowance for basic human nature.
That is a rather disturbing comparison, to say that someone traveling in a lane that another wants to use, is likened to them committing assault and battery. The legal system would not share that view...
…which is why I used the term "responds inappropriately."
I suspect we're talking past each other. Part of the problem may lie in the notorious limitations of communicating via text. No inflection, body language, facial expression, and that sort of thing. I actually agree that personal responsibility is paramount. Believe me, no one who knows me has ever accused me of going easy in that department. Like you said: you do it, you own it. Understanding why a person did somthing is not the same as agreeing that they should have done it.
Then too there's the matter of degree. What some label road rage I sometimes don't think is road rage at all. Say there's the aforementioned poke in the left lane, keeping pace with a poke in the right lane. No one can get by either of them. I think it's perfectly fine for another driver to drive closely behind the left-lane poke (but not so close as to be a huge safety risk) and flash their lights and sound their horn until the left-lane poke wakes up, looks in the rearview mirror, and realizes there is a line of 15 vehicles behind them trying to pass.
If the left-lane poke pulls into the right lane and the light-flasher-horn-sounder continues on their merry way, I don't thing road rage has occurred. Some label this road rage. I don't. I think it's an appropriate response, an attempt to communicate with an oblivious driver in a manner likely to succeed if other attempts have failed.
If, however, the light-flasher-horn-sounder pulls into the right lane behind the poke and continues to flash their lights and sound their horn to get back at them out of anger or spite, then that would be a case of road rage.
Maybe I'm stating the obvious (now that I really HAVE been accused of), but no one should be ashamed of their response in the first case while in the second they have no one to blame for their response but their self.