__________ is/are overrated.

[JayhawkCO]

1. Dating, especially before college.

High school dating is a complete waste of time, money, and effort that could be better directed towards academics, extracurriculars, or community service.

I mean, I feel like dating in high school is specifically for some of those extracurriculars...

[kphoger]

Maybe it's because I was unpopular in high school, but I didn't think much of dating in high school.  It wasn't until my senior year that I even really considered being in a romantic relationship.

But, after high school, I kind of re-invented myself as a person, and the impression I've gotten on this forum is that I'm not alone in that.  It's not necessarily true that the "right" person for you in high school will still be right for you three years later.

I should clarify that I think the purpose of dating is to determine whether or not you're compatible with the other person as a potential married couple.  Dating just for fun is a totally foreign concept to me.

[TheGrassGuy]

1. Dating, especially before college.

High school dating is a complete waste of time, money, and effort that could be better directed towards academics, extracurriculars, or community service.

I mean, I feel like dating in high school is specifically for some of those extracurriculars...

Are we on the same page here? By "extracurriculars," I'm referring to stuff like sports and clubs in school.

Maybe it's because I was unpopular in high school, but I didn't think much of dating in high school.  It wasn't until my senior year that I even really considered being in a romantic relationship.

But, after high school, I kind of re-invented myself as a person, and the impression I've gotten on this forum is that I'm not alone in that.  It's not necessarily true that the "right" person for you in high school will still be right for you three years later.

I should clarify that I think the purpose of dating is to determine whether or not you're compatible with the other person as a potential married couple.  Dating just for fun is a totally foreign concept to me.

I never dated in high school. I sometimes got worried that I was missing out, but... call me a dumb Asian nerd for saying this, but, well, I'd rather focus on what can actually help me succeed when I grow up and advance in the Game of Life. Ultimately, the "nerds" win in life over the "jocks", anyways.

[Scott5114]

1. Dating, especially before college.

High school dating is a complete waste of time, money, and effort that could be better directed towards academics, extracurriculars, or community service.

I mean, I feel like dating in high school is specifically for some of those extracurriculars...

Are we on the same page here? By "extracurriculars," I'm referring to stuff like sports and clubs in school.

He's talking about fucking.

[kkt]

Clothes are overrated.

Well at the very least, spending a ton of money on "name brand" clothes that are the same or only marginally better quality is overrated.

Sorry, I should clarify.  Wearing clothes is overrated.

Honestly, we'd be fine half the year without them.

No, not for me anyway.  Need clothes in winter because it's cold.  Need clothes in summer for protection against skin cancer.  Not that fond of sunscreen and I'd rather only have to wear it on my head and maybe arms.

[TheGrassGuy]

1. Dating, especially before college.

High school dating is a complete waste of time, money, and effort that could be better directed towards academics, extracurriculars, or community service.

I mean, I feel like dating in high school is specifically for some of those extracurriculars...

Are we on the same page here? By "extracurriculars," I'm referring to stuff like sports and clubs in school.

He's talking about fucking.

9. Premarital sex.

Or, at least, pre-engagement sex. Again, sorry if I'm sounding like your parents, but... fuck fucking. Hard to pass the opportunity to say that. I'd rather sit out on a fleeting sense of temporary superficial primordial pleasure than to risk exposure to STDs like syphilis and AIDS, causing unplanned pregnancies, and ruining other people's lives. It's so upsetting how the age at which people have been getting into intimate relationships has been getting lower and lower over the years.

10. The 1980s.

80's culture isn't as "groovy" as a lot of people make it out to be, especially people who were born after the 80's.

[kphoger]

I never dated in high school. I sometimes got worried that I was missing out, but... call me a dumb Asian nerd for saying this, but, well, I'd rather focus on what can actually help me succeed when I grow up and advance in the Game of Life. Ultimately, the "nerds" win in life over the "jocks", anyways.

That depends on your definition of 'success', which is not universal.  For a whole lot of people, finding a spouse and starting a family is a big part of succeeding and advancing in the Game of Life.

[Big John]

6. The season of spring.

Allergies.

Including grass pollen?

[TheGrassGuy]

I never dated in high school. I sometimes got worried that I was missing out, but... call me a dumb Asian nerd for saying this, but, well, I'd rather focus on what can actually help me succeed when I grow up and advance in the Game of Life. Ultimately, the "nerds" win in life over the "jocks", anyways.

That depends on your definition of 'success', which is not universal.  For a whole lot of people, finding a spouse and starting a family is a big part of succeeding and advancing in the Game of Life.

Well, once you're mature enough and you're in a sufficiently stable financial position, then you can start dating. For the vast majority of people, this does not even occur until well into college, let alone high school. My parents didn't really go on casual dates, at least not in the modern sense of the term, and they didn't get married until they were about 35 or so. And they're not even that old. Call me whatever rude names you want, but that's what I'm doing as well.

[TheGrassGuy]

6. The season of spring.

Allergies.

Including grass pollen?

I already trash-talked warm weather enough in this thread, come on...

[Rothman]

I never dated in high school. I sometimes got worried that I was missing out, but... call me a dumb Asian nerd for saying this, but, well, I'd rather focus on what can actually help me succeed when I grow up and advance in the Game of Life. Ultimately, the "nerds" win in life over the "jocks", anyways.

That depends on your definition of 'success', which is not universal.  For a whole lot of people, finding a spouse and starting a family is a big part of succeeding and advancing in the Game of Life.

Well, once you're mature enough and you're in a sufficiently stable financial position, then you can start dating. For the vast majority of people, this does not even occur until well into college, let alone high school. My parents didn't really go on casual dates, at least not in the modern sense of the term, and they didn't get married until they were about 35 or so. And they're not even that old.

That's silly.  I got married early, had a couple of kids early and then was still poor enough when my kids went to college for them to qualify for financial aid.

People who delay marriage and kids until they're older are therefore setting themselves up for more expensive kids and then even more fatigue as they get into their 50s when their kids are teenagers.

[Scott5114]

1. Dating, especially before college.

High school dating is a complete waste of time, money, and effort that could be better directed towards academics, extracurriculars, or community service.

I mean, I feel like dating in high school is specifically for some of those extracurriculars...

Are we on the same page here? By "extracurriculars," I'm referring to stuff like sports and clubs in school.

He's talking about fucking.

9. Premarital sex.

Or, at least, pre-engagement sex. Again, sorry if I'm sounding like your parents, but... fuck fucking. Hard to pass the opportunity to say that. I'd rather sit out on a fleeting sense of temporary superficial primordial pleasure than to risk exposure to STDs like syphilis and AIDS, causing unplanned pregnancies, and ruining other people's lives. It's so upsetting how the age at which people have been getting into intimate relationships has been getting lower and lower over the years.

Mmm. You must be a lot of fun to hang out with.

[TheGrassGuy]

1. Dating, especially before college.

High school dating is a complete waste of time, money, and effort that could be better directed towards academics, extracurriculars, or community service.

I mean, I feel like dating in high school is specifically for some of those extracurriculars...

Are we on the same page here? By "extracurriculars," I'm referring to stuff like sports and clubs in school.

He's talking about fucking.

9. Premarital sex.

Or, at least, pre-engagement sex. Again, sorry if I'm sounding like your parents, but... fuck fucking. Hard to pass the opportunity to say that. I'd rather sit out on a fleeting sense of temporary superficial primordial pleasure than to risk exposure to STDs like syphilis and AIDS, causing unplanned pregnancies, and ruining other people's lives. It's so upsetting how the age at which people have been getting into intimate relationships has been getting lower and lower over the years.

Mmm. You must be a lot of fun to hang out with.

In all seriousness, though, there are lots of ways to have fun as a young adult, and even date when you're mature enough, without sexual activity.

(Exhibit A: outdoor activities like hiking, kayaking, camping, fishing, mountain biking)
(Exhibit B: shopping)
(Exhibit C: going on a vacation to somewhere that's not one of those steamy "adults only" destinations like Las Vegas)
(Exhibit D: "Renaissance man" activities like creating artwork, sculpting statues, or writing literature)

[JoePCool14]

1. Dating, especially before college.

High school dating is a complete waste of time, money, and effort that could be better directed towards academics, extracurriculars, or community service.

I mean, I feel like dating in high school is specifically for some of those extracurriculars...

Are we on the same page here? By "extracurriculars," I'm referring to stuff like sports and clubs in school.

He's talking about fucking.

9. Premarital sex.

Or, at least, pre-engagement sex. Again, sorry if I'm sounding like your parents, but... fuck fucking. Hard to pass the opportunity to say that. I'd rather sit out on a fleeting sense of temporary superficial primordial pleasure than to risk exposure to STDs like syphilis and AIDS, causing unplanned pregnancies, and ruining other people's lives. It's so upsetting how the age at which people have been getting into intimate relationships has been getting lower and lower over the years.

Thanks for bringing the spice. I concur about premarital sex. I've seen it ruin people and cause so much unnecessary trauma and relationship-destroying drama. All for a fleeting pleasure that you feel gross after engaging in and immediately after you just want to do something else. I won't deny the allure of it, and people aren't perfect, but having the strength to resist it is a good skill to have. I think people tend to forget that sex is the most intimate physically you can be with someone. Why give that away so easily? I could go on. 

Merely dating (i.e., no sexual activities, just wanting to be close to someone) before high school is stupid. You don't have jobs, you don't have cars, you don't have anything. So just stop. During high school, depending on the maturity of the guy and girl involved, it could work out just fine. In most cases though, this definitely doesn't apply. But it's a case by case basis to me.

[kphoger]

Well, once you're mature enough and you're in a sufficiently stable financial position, then you can start dating. For the vast majority of people, this does not even occur until well into college, let alone high school. My parents didn't really go on casual dates, at least not in the modern sense of the term, and they didn't get married until they were about 35 or so. And they're not even that old. Call me whatever rude names you want, but that's what I'm doing as well.

"A sufficiently stable financial position"?  What's that supposed to mean?

My wife and I were living paycheck to paycheck when we met;  I didn't even own a car.  I saved up for our wedding and honeymoon by taking cash out of my paychecks and putting it in an envelope in the closet.  When we got back from our honeymoon, we were broke again, living paycheck to paycheck.  We didn't have health insurance when we decided to start having children;  fortunately, she qualified for state aid during pregnancy.

After we got married, our plan was to wait a year until we could "afford" to have children.  A year came and went, and we had no more money than we did in the beginning.  So we made the decision to stop pretending we'd ever be able to "afford" it, and started a family anyway.  We now have three sons.

Our life together has not been a failure, from either of our perspectives.  We're quite happy.

[TheGrassGuy]

Well, once you're mature enough and you're in a sufficiently stable financial position, then you can start dating. For the vast majority of people, this does not even occur until well into college, let alone high school. My parents didn't really go on casual dates, at least not in the modern sense of the term, and they didn't get married until they were about 35 or so. And they're not even that old. Call me whatever rude names you want, but that's what I'm doing as well.

"A sufficiently stable financial position"?  What's that supposed to mean?

My wife and I were living paycheck to paycheck when we met;  I didn't even own a car.  I saved up for our wedding and honeymoon by taking cash out of my paychecks and putting it in an envelope in the closet.  When we got back from our honeymoon, we were broke again, living paycheck to paycheck.  We didn't have health insurance when we decided to start having children;  fortunately, she qualified for state aid during pregnancy.

After we got married, our plan was to wait a year until we could "afford" to have children.  A year came and went, and we had no more money than we did in the beginning.  So we made the decision to stop pretending we'd ever be able to "afford" it, and started a family anyway.  We now have three sons.

Our life together has not been a failure, from either of our perspectives.  We're quite happy.

What I mean by that is that you're in a position where you're working a full-time job, compared to the period of your life where you have to devote most of your time studying. YMMV though!

[JoePCool14]

(Exhibit C: going on a vacation to somewhere that's not one of those steamy "adults only" destinations like Las Vegas)

Meh... Any overnight vacation that's one-on-one with a girlfriend just doesn't feel quite right personally. It would also be too... tempting, let's say. I'd rather save that stuff for married life. Day trips are cool though, I've done that before.

If I had the opportunity, I'd rather go on a trip with a group of friends.

[TheGrassGuy]

(Exhibit C: going on a vacation to somewhere that's not one of those steamy "adults only" destinations like Las Vegas)

Meh... Any overnight vacation that's one-on-one with a girlfriend just doesn't feel quite right personally. It would also be too... tempting, let's say. I'd rather save that stuff for married life. Day trips are cool though, I've done that before.

If I had the opportunity, I'd rather go on a trip with a group of friends.

That's what I did mean, sorry for not clarifying enough.

[kphoger]

What I mean by that is that you're in a position where you're working a full-time job, compared to the period of your life where you have to devote most of your time studying. YMMV though!

If we use 16 as the age when women become most fertile, and if we use 18 as the age when they graduate high school and enter the workforce, then you're not really advocating very much of a change.  Instead, I'm going to assume you expect women to wait until after university to enter the workforce.  With our current societal expectations, that's a reasonable assumption.  So I'll go with a traditional four-year university track here.

Let's assume that a woman transitions from university to the workplace at age 22.  By that point, she's already 20% of the way to 35, which is roughly when there's a marked drop in fertility.  You're saying she shouldn't start dating until then.  OK, let's say it takes five years of dating before she finds "the one".  Then they have a one-year engagement before marriage.  By that point, she's already halfway to 35.  Half of her fertile years are already behind her.

Better, I think, would be to begin the dating process earlier on.

[formulanone]

I got married early, had a couple of kids early and then was still poor enough when my kids went to college for them to qualify for financial aid.

People who delay marriage and kids until they're older are therefore setting themselves up for more expensive kids and then even more fatigue as they get into their 50s when their kids are teenagers.

Eh, it worked for us. Everyone's mileage may vary. We chose to wait and be more financially secure...though obviously not everyone even gets that chance by nature and/or nurture. Things happen.

I'd argue that one's decision-making is apt for be far less rash and seasoned if you're older and more mature, but obviously society hasn't collapsed so being younger isn't all that bad an idea. Drawbacks to being older when starting a family is that you can be more set in your ways and inflexible, so one has to aware of the possibilities. Fatigue has not totally taken me over but having kids gave me some fresh perspectives so it's helped fight off the gentle stupor of aging.

It is also much easier to survive a day of work on 3-4 hours of sleep when you're younger than in one's thirties. Just saying.

[JayhawkCO]

In all seriousness, though, there are lots of ways to have fun as a young adult, and even date when you're mature enough, without sexual activity.

(Exhibit A: outdoor activities like hiking, kayaking, camping, fishing, mountain biking)
(Exhibit B: shopping)
(Exhibit C: going on a vacation to somewhere that's not one of those steamy "adults only" destinations like Las Vegas)
(Exhibit D: "Renaissance man" activities like creating artwork, sculpting statues, or writing literature)

Or you can realize that being sexual is a normal part of human behavior and you should try out all you can to figure out what you like and what you don't. I did all that stuff in high school, and got some too. If you're only consumed with sex, sure, that's not ideal. But you can easily mix it in to your myriad interests.

[abefroman329]

Eh, it worked for us. Everyone's mileage may vary. We chose to wait and be more financially secure...though obviously not everyone even gets that chance by nature and/or nurture. Things happen.

I'd argue that one's decision-making is apt for be far less rash and seasoned if you're older and more mature, but obviously society hasn't collapsed so being younger isn't all that bad an idea. Drawbacks to being older when starting a family is that you can be more set in your ways and inflexible, so one has to aware of the possibilities. Fatigue has not totally taken me over but having kids gave me some fresh perspectives so it's helped fight off the gentle stupor of aging.


It is also much easier to survive a day of work on 3-4 hours of sleep when you're younger than in one's thirties. Just saying.

We got pregnant when I was 38 and my wife was 40, but that was six years after we met, so it wasn't really a conscious decision to wait till we were that old.

Setting everything else aside, getting pregnant at that exact time meant that I was able to take sixteen weeks' paid parental leave when Henry was born, and that makes up for a lot of the drawbacks of having a child later in life.

[CtrlAltDel]

In all seriousness, though, there are lots of ways to have fun as a young adult, and even date when you're mature enough, without sexual activity.

(Exhibit A: outdoor activities like hiking, kayaking, camping, fishing, mountain biking)
(Exhibit B: shopping)
(Exhibit C: going on a vacation to somewhere that's not one of those steamy "adults only" destinations like Las Vegas)
(Exhibit D: "Renaissance man" activities like creating artwork, sculpting statues, or writing literature)

Or you can realize that being sexual is a normal part of human behavior and you should try out all you can to figure out what you like and what you don't. I did all that stuff in high school, and got some too. If you're only consumed with sex, sure, that's not ideal. But you can easily mix it in to your myriad interests.

I know, right. I have to admit that I'm surprised to see like three different inhibitory views on human sexuality all arguing with one another in this thread.

[Rothman]

In all seriousness, though, there are lots of ways to have fun as a young adult, and even date when you're mature enough, without sexual activity.

(Exhibit A: outdoor activities like hiking, kayaking, camping, fishing, mountain biking)
(Exhibit B: shopping)
(Exhibit C: going on a vacation to somewhere that's not one of those steamy "adults only" destinations like Las Vegas)
(Exhibit D: "Renaissance man" activities like creating artwork, sculpting statues, or writing literature)

Or you can realize that being sexual is a normal part of human behavior and you should try out all you can to figure out what you like and what you don't. I did all that stuff in high school, and got some too. If you're only consumed with sex, sure, that's not ideal. But you can easily mix it in to your myriad interests.

I know, right. I have to admit that I'm surprised to see like three different repressive views on human sexuality all arguing with one another in this thread.

No one should have sex.  Ever.

[CtrlAltDel]

In all seriousness, though, there are lots of ways to have fun as a young adult, and even date when you're mature enough, without sexual activity.

(Exhibit A: outdoor activities like hiking, kayaking, camping, fishing, mountain biking)
(Exhibit B: shopping)
(Exhibit C: going on a vacation to somewhere that's not one of those steamy "adults only" destinations like Las Vegas)
(Exhibit D: "Renaissance man" activities like creating artwork, sculpting statues, or writing literature)

Or you can realize that being sexual is a normal part of human behavior and you should try out all you can to figure out what you like and what you don't. I did all that stuff in high school, and got some too. If you're only consumed with sex, sure, that's not ideal. But you can easily mix it in to your myriad interests.

I know, right. I have to admit that I'm surprised to see like three different repressive views on human sexuality all arguing with one another in this thread.

No one should have sex.  Ever.

Okay, now there's four.