Most absurd VMS messages

[tolbs17]

Has anyone seen a funny VMS in North Carolina? Here, I have not seen any except the time travel or if there's an accident or AMBER alert, etc.

I should think a time traveling VMS would actually be quite droll.

Not to me.

[Scott5114]

Has anyone seen a funny VMS in North Carolina? Here, I have not seen any except the time travel or if there's an accident or AMBER alert, etc.

I should think a time traveling VMS would actually be quite droll.

"TRAFFIC PATTERNS CHANGE
I-70 OPENING 11/14/56"

[vtk]

Last night I saw a VMS saying "EXSPECT DELAYS" and I was so distracted by the misspelling I didn't notice what else the sign said.

[empirestate]

I should think a time traveling VMS would actually be quite droll.

Not to me.

Maybe it depends whether you play it more H. G. Wells, or Marty McFly.

[MCRoads]

I've noticed a trend:, and I don't know if this is new, but:

I have seen a lot more VMSs at work zones lately simply showing

ROADWORK
AHEAD
USE CAUTION

This seems a rather pointless use of these signs. Most, if not all, drivers are aware that you need to slow down/pay attention. But moreover, I see them used where they are absolutely not needed. They are doing repairs to curbs/pavement near my house, on roads with a 20 mph speed limit, and a roundabout that forces you to go 10-15 mph. But, what do they have there? A sign pointlessly displaying such a message. Mind you, my neiborhood is designed in a way to eliminate thru traffic, so this sign is just telling people that live there that construction is happening. Why not but that sign to use saying something like:

XX RD CLOSED
FROM MAR XX
TO APR XX

USE DETOUR OF
XX LANE VIA
XX ST

Still somewhat pointless, but it actually tells you something you might not know.

[interstatefan990]

Some NYC expressways have VMS messages that read something like this:

DELAYS TO I-XXX

or

DELAYS TO XXXXXX PKWY

It's a pretty simple message, but it's also vague enough to be pointless. One cannot drive in New York City and not expect delays. Plus, chances are, by the time you see this sign, you could be already slowed down and in traffic. The only time a message like this makes sense is when it is accompanied by specific travel times or travel information, like "DELAYS - 15 MIN TO GCP"  or "DELAYS - WORK ZONE - LANE CLOSURES AHEAD"

[Scott5114]

I mean, "Delays to I-240" could be useful or not, depending on the meaning of to there. If I see that when I'm already on I-240, yeah, it's pretty vague and meaningless. If I'm northbound on I-35 and I see it (meaning delays on I-35 through I-240), then I'm gonna think about bailing out at Shields Boulevard and bypass the traffic jam.

[empirestate]

I mean, "Delays to I-240" could be useful or not, depending on the meaning of to there. If I see that when I'm already on I-240, yeah, it's pretty vague and meaningless. If I'm northbound on I-35 and I see it (meaning delays on I-35 through I-240), then I'm gonna think about bailing out at Shields Boulevard and bypass the traffic jam.

But in the specific context of NYC, it's rarely feasible, by the time you see the message, to bail out and find any kind of a better route. You're either already in traffic (as noted above), or any nearby exits will just take you through congested neighborhoods. The finding of an alternate route is something that usually has to happen on the trip-planning level.

[interstatefan990]

I mean, "Delays to I-240" could be useful or not, depending on the meaning of to there. If I see that when I'm already on I-240, yeah, it's pretty vague and meaningless. If I'm northbound on I-35 and I see it (meaning delays on I-35 through I-240), then I'm gonna think about bailing out at Shields Boulevard and bypass the traffic jam.

But in the specific context of NYC, it's rarely feasible, by the time you see the message, to bail out and find any kind of a better route. You're either already in traffic (as noted above), or any nearby exits will just take you through congested neighborhoods. The finding of an alternate route is something that usually has to happen on the trip-planning level.

^This is what I meant.

[GaryV]

Other far less than useful messages I've seen in Metro Detroit are along the lines of "Accident at Springwells, Left Lane Blocked".  All well and good if you know where Springwells is.  But if you're traveling, you probably don't know at all; if you don't drive that way often you probably only have a vague idea of where it is.  Why can't they give the exit number?

[kphoger]

Last night I saw a VMS saying "EXSPECT DELAYS" and I was so distracted by the misspelling I didn't notice what else the sign said.

Some of the VMSes around Wichita lately have been saying "REDUCE TRAFFIC FATALITIES / DON'T DRIVE DISTRACTED".  I turned to my wife the other day and said, "Isn't there a fundamental problem with those signs telling you to not drive distracted?"

[interstatefan990]

I also don't understand why they abbreviate words on some VMSs when there is more than enough space to write out the entire word, like "EXP DLYS TO I-XXX + CRS BX PKWY". I recently drove past a COVID vaccination center, and a large VMS said "COVD VAX PKNG" on three separate lines.

[wanderer2575]

Other far less than useful messages I've seen in Metro Detroit are along the lines of "Accident at Springwells, Left Lane Blocked".  All well and good if you know where Springwells is.  But if you're traveling, you probably don't know at all; if you don't drive that way often you probably only have a vague idea of where it is.  Why can't they give the exit number?

I agree, and even less useful is the lack of information regarding impact on traffic.  Is there just a minor slowdown, or is traffic at a multi-mile-long standstill?

[roadfro]

I also don't understand why they abbreviate words on some VMSs when there is more than enough space to write out the entire word, like "EXP DLYS TO I-XXX + CRS BX PKWY". I recently drove past a COVID vaccination center, and a large VMS said "COVD VAX PKNG" on three separate lines.

For that first one, none of those are MUTCD-approved abbreviations, and "DLYS" I would presume would be disallowed (given that "DLY" is expressly forbidden due to the potential to confuse "delay" with "daily").

I assume the second one is a portable VMS. Most portable VMSs are fixed 8-character lines, so there is no reason to abbreviate "COVID" or "Parking" (the MUTCD-approved abbreviation is actually "PKING"). "VAX" is recognizable enough with "COVID" as a prompt, but you can still fit "VACCINE" on one line.

[oscar]

Last night I saw a VMS saying "EXSPECT DELAYS" and I was so distracted by the misspelling I didn't notice what else the sign said.

See also my post about "EXPERT DELAYS" and "EXCEPT DELAYS" VMSes near Bedford VA, many years ago. The first might've been an admission of what construction crews are really best at, but maybe both were just dyslexia.

[sprjus4]

VDOT's 511 website claims the VMS along I-295 North at MM13 reads:

I-64
15 MILES
14 MIN

I-95
30 MILES
13 MIN

In order to travel the 30 miles in 13 minutes, a motorist would need to be traveling about 138.46 mph.

[Big John]

ONLY THE CASSEROLE
SHOULD BE BAKED
DON'T DRIVE HIGH

[roadman]

https://www.universalhub.com/2021/if-youre-doing-kessel-run-12-parsecs-watch-out#new

[Avalanchez71]

Posted all over Massachusetts:
WEAR YOUR MASK

Wear your mask where?  Wear it in the car whilst driving?  Wear it outdoors on Cape Cod out of season with no one around?

[tolbs17]

CHANGING LANES???? USE YA BLINKAH

but I don't see these type of messages in North Carolina and New Jersey.

[kphoger]

Posted all over Massachusetts:
WEAR YOUR MASK

Wear your mask where?  Wear it in the car whilst driving?  Wear it outdoors on Cape Cod out of season with no one around?

While having sex, of course (not NSFW).

[SectorZ]

Massachusetts went full goober-boomer today with multiple May 4th things. So bad I don't even remember them, but there were three.

Meanwhile these messages were up after a major accident causing gridlock on US 3 in Billerica, so God forbid they adjust them to convey actual information that is important. At least you made a small subset of humanity giggle...

[wanderer2575]

Another MDOT (Michigan) winner.  The ramps from M-10 to eastbound M-8 are actually closed for the next week.  That would be a nice tidbit to know.  Instead, we're told about lane closures on a freeway we can't access.

[MCRoads]

https://www.universalhub.com/2021/if-youre-doing-kessel-run-12-parsecs-watch-out#new

The funny thing is, that a Parsec is a unit of distance. That was never really explained in Star Wars, but there's probably some cannon explosion somewhere I just don't know.

[jmacswimmer]

https://www.universalhub.com/2021/if-youre-doing-kessel-run-12-parsecs-watch-out#new

The funny thing is, that a Parsec is a unit of distance. That was never really explained in Star Wars, but there's probably some cannon explosion somewhere I just don't know.