Misheard song lyrics

[SectorZ]

Speaking of REM, they promised me I would feel fine at this particular junction in history.

Is your name Lenny Bruce?

https://www.google.com/maps/@42.6786905,-71.1533252,3a,32.8y,109h,90.55t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1sOFzhR9L58EVBTt2o6leN5g!2e0!7i16384!8i8192

Every time I pass it, I read it as sung in the song.

Or, better yet, from this (0:09)...

[dlsterner]

While we're mentioning R.E.M., an often mis-heard lyric is in the song "It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)" is:

"Team by team, reporters baffled, trumped, tethered, cropped"

When listening, it sounds like they are name-checking a future President.

[Scott5114]

She touched my meat and blamed it on Jean–"Caribbean Queen (No More Love on the Run)" Billy Ocean

Actual line is "She dashed by me in painted on jeans".

[kphoger]

Because of a YouTube from 12 years ago, I now mishear the lyrics below when I hear them on the radio:

Christopher Cross – 'All Right'
  I know, I know what's on your mind,
  And I know it gets tough sometimes.
  But you can give it one more try to find another reason why,
  You should pick it up and try it again,
  Cause it's all right, Pingüino Rodríguez.
  I think it might just work out this time.

Dire Straits – 'Money for Nothing
  Now that ain't workin', that's the way you do it.
  Lemme tell ya them guys ain't dumb.
  Maybe get a blister on your little finger.
  Baby, quiero queso roñoso.

The Doors – 'Roadhouse Blues'
  Give up your vows.
  Give up your vows.
  Se ha ido al cine.
  Se ha ido al cine.
  Ah, right now.

Michael Jackson – 'Billie Jean'
  Billie Jean is not my lover,
  She's just a girl who claims that I am the one.
  But, ¿Quieres una manzana?

The Eagles – 'Hotel California
  There she stood in the doorway.
  I heard the mission bell
  And I was thinkin' to myself,
  'This could be heaven or this could be hell'.
  Un chinito pecando,
  And she showed me the way.

U2 – 'One'
  Well it's too late tonight.
  Te traigo pasta into the light.
  We're one, but we're not the same.

Electric Light Orchestra – 'Hold On Tight'
  Accroches-toi a ton rêve.
  En tu huerto no hay tomates.
  Quand tu sents ton cocur se briser,
  Accroches-toi a ton rêve.

[Takumi]

I first heard the title lyrics of Passionate Kisses as “accident victim”.

Also, I may have mentioned it before, but I first heard The Police’s Canary In A Coal Mine as “Larry ain’t a poor man”.

[NWI_Irish96]

You'll never hear this Bon Jovi song the same again:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWILHcsYVj8

[roadman]

When I first looked up the lyrics for the main verse of "Yellow Brick Road" by Elton John, I realized it would have taken me multiple lifetimes to figure out what he was saying:

So goodbye yellow brick road
Where the dogs of society howl
You can't plant me in your penthouse
I'm going back to my plough
Back to the howling, old owl in the woods
Hunting the horny-back toad
Oh, I've finally decided my future lies
Beyond the yellow brick road

I always thought the second line was "We're a dark cloud society now."

[CNGL-Leudimin]

Because of a YouTube from 12 years ago, I now mishear the lyrics below when I hear them on the radio:

Christopher Cross – 'All Right'
  I know, I know what's on your mind,
  And I know it gets tough sometimes.
  But you can give it one more try to find another reason why,
  You should pick it up and try it again,
  Cause it's all right, Pingüino Rodríguez.
  I think it might just work out this time.

Dire Straits – 'Money for Nothing
  Now that ain't workin', that's the way you do it.
  Lemme tell ya them guys ain't dumb.
  Maybe get a blister on your little finger.
  Baby, quiero queso roñoso.

The Doors – 'Roadhouse Blues'
  Give up your vows.
  Give up your vows.
  Se ha ido al cine.
  Se ha ido al cine.
  Ah, right now.

Michael Jackson – 'Billie Jean'
  Billie Jean is not my lover,
  She's just a girl who claims that I am the one.
  But, ¿Quieres una manzana?

The Eagles – 'Hotel California
  There she stood in the doorway.
  I heard the mission bell
  And I was thinkin' to myself,
  'This could be heaven or this could be hell'.
  Un chinito pecando,
  And she showed me the way.

U2 – 'One'
  Well it's too late tonight.
  Te traigo pasta into the light.
  We're one, but we're not the same.

Electric Light Orchestra – 'Hold On Tight'
  Accroches-toi a ton rêve.
  En tu huerto no hay tomates.
  Quand tu sents ton cocur se briser,
  Accroches-toi a ton rêve.

Those in Spain are widely known as momentos teniente. The phrase originated in a radio show and was later taken over to a TV show with the same host. They search Spanish-like sounding passages in songs sung in a language other than Spanish. The Pingüino Rodríguez one is really known. My favorite one, however, is that one passage on the Barça's anthem that appears to say Hala Madrid .

[kphoger]

There's a pop-Christian song by Austin French that I mishear like this:

This is the sound of chains breaking.
This is the beat of a heart changing.
This is a song of a soul forgiven.
This is my freedom hymn ham.

Those in Spain are widely known as momentos teniente. The phrase originated in a radio show and was later taken over to a TV show with the same host. They search Spanish-like sounding passages in songs sung in a language other than Spanish. The Pingüino Rodríguez one is really known. My favorite one, however, is that one passage on the Barça's anthem that appears to say Hala Madrid .

I hear 'Billie Jean' pretty often on the radio, so ¿Quieres una manzana? comes out of my mouth with some frequency (somewhere between 400 and 500 Hz, I suppose).

[roadman65]

There is in A Day In The Life by the Beatles the line "from the house of Lord's" that sounds like its "the house of God."  However, being John Lennon is like our very own Bugo here, I doubt that could be what it sounds like.  The lyrics on the back of the vinyl album cover (yes all Sgt. Pepper Songs are printed on the back of the sleeve) say Lords too.

[mrsman]

"Boys of Summer" - Don Henley

Real lyric:

After the boys of summer have gone.

Misheard:

After the poison, son of a gun!

[GaryV]

There is in A Day In The Life by the Beatles the line "from the house of Lord's" ... lyrics on the back of the vinyl album cover ... say Lords too.

Parliament?

[Scott5114]

I read the news today, oh boy
About a lucky man who made the grade
And though the news was rather sad
Well, I just had to laugh
I saw the photograph
He blew his mind out in a car
He didn't notice that the lights had changed
A crowd of people stood and stared
They'd seen his face before
Nobody was really sure if he was from the House of Lords

From context, it's definitely Lords; "house of God" doesn't make sense. The point of the verse is that people stood and stared at the wreck because the dude was well-known, as one would be if they were in the House of Lords (remember, unlike the U.S. Senate, you get into the upper house of Parliament by basically being an aristocrat.) This is immediately contrasted in the next verse with "The English army had just won the war / A crowd of people turned away", basically condemning the populace for having such fascination with the well-known man's death but revulsion toward the messiness of war.

[kphoger]

I always thought the "if he was from the House of Lords" phrase was obvious.

[I-55]

Kyrie Eleison - Carry a laser

[kphoger]

Should be Carry a lathe, son.

[1995hoo]

I read the news today, oh boy
About a lucky man who made the grade
And though the news was rather sad
Well, I just had to laugh
I saw the photograph
He blew his mind out in a car
He didn't notice that the lights had changed
A crowd of people stood and stared
They'd seen his face before
Nobody was really sure if he was from the House of Lords

From context, it's definitely Lords; "house of God" doesn't make sense. The point of the verse is that people stood and stared at the wreck because the dude was well-known, as one would be if they were in the House of Lords (remember, unlike the U.S. Senate, you get into the upper house of Parliament by basically being an aristocrat.) This is immediately contrasted in the next verse with "The English army had just won the war / A crowd of people turned away", basically condemning the populace for having such fascination with the well-known man's death but revulsion toward the messiness of war.

There's another line prior to the boldfaced: "I saw a film today, oh boy." Taking that together with the reference to the English army winning the war always made me think it was a reference to How I Won the War, in which a guy named John Lennon played a role. The movie didn't get very good reviews and wasn't all that successful, hence "a crowd of people turned away."

[TheHighwayMan3561]

You Can't Always Get What You Want:

I heard "I went down to the devil's station to get my fair share of abuse" . It's "demonstration" .

[STLmapboy]

From Depeche Mode's classic "Enjoy the Silence"

"All I've wanted, all I've needed, is here, in my arse."

Actual: All I ever wanted, all I ever needed, is here, in my arms.

[Buck87]

Just heard a song for the first time in a while that reminded me of one of my misheard lyrics....

"One Toke Over the Line" by Brewer & Shipley

As I kid I thought it was "one toe over the line." Especially because of the line "sittin' downtown at a railway station, one toke over the line".....which I thought meant he was standing with one toe over the yellow caution line on a railway platform. 

[TheHighwayMan3561]

Steely Dan "Third World Man". First line of the song.

What I heard: "Chinese playroom is a bunker filled with sand"
Actual: "Johnny's playroom"

[I-39]

There's a pop-Christian song by Austin French that I mishear like this:

This is the sound of chains breaking.
This is the beat of a heart changing.
This is a song of a soul forgiven.
This is my freedom hymn ham.

Pretty much all CCM (Contemporary Christian Music) is unintelligible these days.

Even Steven Curtis Chapman back in the day had some unintelligible songs. I used to think his song "For the sake of the call"  sounded like "For the sake of the car" .

[briantroutman]

Steely Dan "Third World Man". First line of the song.

What I heard: "Chinese playroom is a bunker filled with sand"
Actual: "Johnny's playroom"

Now that's one that I actually didn't have trouble understanding when I first heard it.

[hbelkins]

Not a song lyric per se, but every time I hear that Halo Top ice cream commercial on television, it sounds to me like they are singing "Hannibal Lecter, Hannibal Lecter."

[roadman65]

When I was a child I heard the song John Jacob Jingle Himer Schmidt  sung by other kids replacing Schmidt  with Shit, so I thought when it was played on children's tv that they were going to play a curse word song to us.