Mental Illness and Road Enthusiusts

[Rothman]

Also, I know some of the most awkward, homely, fringy, super smart dudes that end up with the most gorgeous, well-adjusted women that appreciate them.  If this doesn't happen where you live, just go to MIT.

Also known to happen with frightening frequency at BYU.  Beautiful women; frumpy dudes.

[NE2]

It doesn't always get better. So deal with it and stagnate until you can no longer bear it. Then you finally have motivation to improve things.

[vdeane]

Of course, that doesn't stop people from saying it will... first it's high school, then college, then when you graduate, then when you get older and more established, etc.  I don't recall it magically getting better at any interval.

[US71]

Also, I know some of the most awkward, homely, fringy, super smart dudes that end up with the most gorgeous, well-adjusted women that appreciate them.  If this doesn't happen where you live, just go to MIT.

Also known to happen with frightening frequency at BYU.  Beautiful women; frumpy dudes.

And how many stay together?

[Takumi]

Of course, that doesn't stop people from saying it will... first it's high school, then college, then when you graduate, then when you get older and more established, etc.  I don't recall it magically getting better at any interval.

It got a little better for me between middle school and high school, for whatever reason, but then plateaued, if not got a little worse, in college.

[jpi]

I came across this thread just now and I must say this is interesting. I was diagnosed with sever depression and had panic attacks from late 98 to mid 99, this was at a time when I was transitioning with my job and then starting college. I did see a therapist and was on effexor for a year and a half and have been off of it and had no major issues since then. Also I was fascinated with roads, reading maps and signs and the history of roads since I was about 6 years old and my family always knew it. By the time I got to middle school I was very awkward, quiet and shy to the point that I was bullied every day mentally and sometimes physically, back when being bullied was not as big as it is now with awareness. In 10th grade I changed high schools and started out growing my shyness but still got picked on occasionally. Flash forward to now and I am a totally different person then I was back then but it would not surprise me if I have some kind of form of ADHD.

[74/171FAN]

Well I had to take Ritalin and Adderall as a kid for ADHD and actually am very much a perfectionist.  I would never say that I am slow, but I can get angry when I am not doing things perfectly or as well as my peers (as in not having one of the highest GPAs in my major) along with having focus issues.

Do you still take your medicine? I have to take my Adderall to do anything productive. I tried not taking it for like 2 years and it ended up making my attention span 10 times worse than before.

I just realized that I never answered your question.  I stopped taking it by middle school because I was not fond of taking medicine (for me that is the case even for colds and allergies).  It never really has affected my grades for the most part (minus English maybe which I was never good at the literature side of things but I was always decent enough with grammar to catch typos and comma errors-to the point that one of my friends corrects my texting typos).  I do notice myself being obsessive over things very easily (roads, sports, grades, etc.), and I feel completely miserable sometimes even when something minor goes wrong whether it is my fault or not.

I came across this thread just now and I must say this is interesting. I was diagnosed with sever depression and had panic attacks from late 98 to mid 99, this was at a time when I was transitioning with my job and then starting college. I did see a therapist and was on effexor for a year and a half and have been off of it and had no major issues since then. Also I was fascinated with roads, reading maps and signs and the history of roads since I was about 6 years old and my family always knew it. By the time I got to middle school I was very awkward, quiet and shy to the point that I was bullied every day mentally and sometimes physically, back when being bullied was not as big as it is now with awareness. In 10th grade I changed high schools and started out growing my shyness but still got picked on occasionally. Flash forward to now and I am a totally different person then I was back then but it would not surprise me if I have some kind of form of ADHD.

I definitely think I still have ADHD in some form.  For me, my social skills have gotten much better over the years, but I usually get very intimidated by anyone that I do not know personally until I have gotten to know them.  I have read maps and signs since I was about 4 years old, and I was always one of the smarter people in my class despite small speech impediments.  (I actually remembered how to get to New York from VA, and I found out about the I-95 gap from telling my parents to go through Philadelphia once because the maps looked like I-95 went from Philly to New York.)

I know that I start pacing easily when nervous.  Also I would become super-competitive with my grades to the point that I would get mad if I got a 95 and my friend got a 96, for example.

[Rothman]

Also, I know some of the most awkward, homely, fringy, super smart dudes that end up with the most gorgeous, well-adjusted women that appreciate them.  If this doesn't happen where you live, just go to MIT.

Also known to happen with frightening frequency at BYU.  Beautiful women; frumpy dudes.

And how many stay together?

Quite a few.  Marriage is a big deal amongst Mormons.

[TheHighwayMan3561]

I've battled depression since 14 and I was actively suicidal from 17 to about 20. Things got better for me later in college when I began to accept my autism and take pride in it, and stopped actively trying to hold myself to society's standards that I can't meet so I might as well just be who I am and do the things I enjoy doing. I still struggle sometimes, but I feel like I've figured a lot of things out that I couldn't have imagined I would have even five years ago.

Honestly, even if you did meet society's standards people would give you a lot of shit for being too perfect or too well-rounded. People just want to bring you down whether it's for being too good a person or too bad of one, and as someone said earlier it's largely because of their own unhappiness that these assholes feel compelled to do shit like that.

It's obviously far easier said then done, but fuck them and find that pride in yourself in whatever way that works for you.

[Pete from Boston]

Of course, that doesn't stop people from saying it will... first it's high school, then college, then when you graduate, then when you get older and more established, etc.  I don't recall it magically getting better at any interval.

It doesn't stop people from saying it will get better because for some people they know that it can. If you have never known that it can, of course all you're going to say is that it can't.

"No" is an easy thing to attach oneself to, because it can be guaranteed.  "Yes" is risky to believe in.

[noelbotevera]

I've battled depression since 14 and I was actively suicidal from 17 to about 20. Things got better for me later in college when I began to accept my autism and take pride in it, and stopped actively trying to hold myself to society's standards that I can't meet so I might as well just be who I am and do the things I enjoy doing. I still struggle sometimes, but I feel like I've figured a lot of things out that I couldn't have imagined I would have even five years ago.

Honestly, even if you did meet society's standards people would give you a lot of shit for being too perfect or too well-rounded. People just want to bring you down whether it's for being too good a person or too bad of one, and as someone said earlier it's largely because of their own unhappiness that these assholes feel compelled to do shit like that.

It's obviously far easier said then done, but fuck them and find that pride in yourself in whatever way that works for you.

I've dealt with this since my birth (so that's 11 years and counting...almost 12). Except, I didn't take pride and eventually separated myself from social interaction and decided to learn at an accelerated rate (which explains why I joined this forum).

Personally, I can't do social interaction correctly.

I get along better with the teachers because of my learning at an accelerated rate (and genes). So I get along better with people older than me. But it's not here, it looks like.

[TravelingBethelite]

I know how y'all feel. As I post, I'm here at a private school for us people with ASD and what not. Thankfully, likely because I'm here, it seems that I'm growing out of it. Usually, the symptoms are worst around age 9-12 and you never even know it was there (hopefully) by 21-22 (especially if it's moderate). In short, being a roadgeek is only about 75-80% dependent on autism or some other mental illness. But what do I know. I'm crazy. 

[busman_49]

Things got better for me....when I began to accept my autism and take pride in it, and stopped actively trying to hold myself to society's standards that I can't meet so I might as well just be who I am and do the things I enjoy doing. I still struggle sometimes...

With apologies to TheHighwayMan934 for taking hedge clippers to his quote, I think that's when I finally figured out the secret, when I stopped trying to appease to people.  Sure I got less attention, but I realized I liked being on my own better.  The phrase, "I live in my own little world, but it's okay...they know me here," has more or less become my mantra.

I've never been officially diagnosed with anything, but a lot of my tendencies lean towards Asperger's.  I've had a few people notice that in me as well.  All through elementary school, I was picked on somewhat, but then things started to mushroom in junior high.  I think part of it was just the kids in the school, but I feel I had a part to play as well.  At that time, I wanted to feel included or noticed.  With interests in traffic signs, roads, and school buses and none whatsoever in sports, I might as well have had an "open season" sign stuck to my back.  Things got a little better in high school but not much.  Sure I had my circle of friends, but there were others who were simply jerks.  And I can't help but think some people were nice to me out of pity.

Nevertheless, I pressed onward and I think when I hit college was when I finally turned a corner and quit caring.  I could distance myself from those people I had to spend so much time with and I had the time to indulge in what I liked.  The internet started getting bigger at about that time and I was able to find others who shared my interests.  Whether meeting people I talked to online, or just maintaining an e-relationship, it helped me to figure out that maybe I'm not THAT weird (or, conversely, there are plenty of people out there just as strange as me).

Today I still keep going with my interests and find joy in following them.  I try to repress myself and not necessarily carry my interests on my sleeve the way I used to, which goes a long way in my being able to handle being around other people.  Sometimes I've caught myself wondering what other people would think as I'm standing on the roadside taking a photo of something, but then I quit caring about it the split second before I click the shutter.

[MisterSG1]

I know how y'all feel. As I post, I'm here at a private school for us people with ASD and what not. Thankfully, likely because I'm here, it seems that I'm growing out of it. Usually, the symptoms are worst around age 9-12 and you never even know it was there (hopefully) by 21-22 (especially if it's moderate). In short, being a roadgeek is only about 75-80% dependent on autism or some other mental illness. But what do I know. I'm crazy. 

So is the entire high school solely for people with Asperger's or are you in a special program inside the private school just for ASD.

In my personal opinion, I don't think these kind of autism programs work in my opinion. I was in one at my public high school and well almost none of us in the program got anywhere. Personally I don't think it's wise to isolate people from your peers and have "special" places to run to if things get too overwhelming. You can't very well do that outside of high school. That's just my two cents on this issue.

[hbelkins]

Some of you may know who I'm talking about, as you may be friends with him on Facebook (I don't think he has an account here). A friend of mine and a fellow roadgeek recently posted a rather personal and distressing message on Facebook, and the majority of responses he got were basically saying, "suck it up."

Well, it's not always possible to just "suck it up" if you're suffering from depression. Depression is basically a physical ailment that affects the brain via chemistry, but it can have very real worldly causes. "Sucking it up" won't help if you have a real need. It doesn't put food on the table or gas in the car or money in the checking account. I was shocked at the insensitivity some of this person's friends showed. They weren't supportive at all.

I guess what I'm saying to those of you, especially you younger folks who have voiced some suicidal thoughts, is to seek support. If it's a medical issue, seek treatment. A chemical imbalance is no different than a malfunctioning thyroid or high blood pressure, and is nothing to be ashamed of. Issues with school or bullying or with your peers will go away in time. You're young and you don't have to deal with trying to earn enough money to pay the bills and support a family.

[Rothman]

Issues with school or bullying or with your peers will go away in time.

Unfortunately, in my experience, the adult workplace is more like high school than adults care to admit, bullies and all.

[The Nature Boy]

I became a road geek largely because of my anxiety issues. Driving around helps to calm me down.

[Pete from Boston]

Issues with school or bullying or with your peers will go away in time.

Unfortunately, in my experience, the adult workplace is more like high school than adults care to admit, bullies and all.

Which is why learning coping skills is critical.  Sure, culture should change, but there's no reason to leave oneself at the mercy of the pace of that change.

[JakeFromNewEngland]

I've never been diagnosed professionally, but my doctor and I both agree I have some form of anxiety. I'm definitely ok when it comes to social interactions and what not and I'm actually pretty social, but I tend to overreact and overwhelm myself a lot leading to panic attacks and straight up anxiety. I've noticed for me that when I'm traveling and seeing new places whether that's going on a road trip or looking at roads and such online, it calms me down.

[paulthemapguy]

Issues with school or bullying or with your peers will go away in time.

Unfortunately, in my experience, the adult workplace is more like high school than adults care to admit, bullies and all.

Which is why learning coping skills is critical.  Sure, culture should change, but there's no reason to leave oneself at the mercy of the pace of that change.

This is totally crucial.  People want to blame everyone else for what's wrong.  And even when the people around you are the reason for your sadness or suffering, the only thing you can control is how you react to it.  After experiencing enough negativity from other people, you start to realize that the reason for their crappy behavior is because they're broken just like you are.  Happy, productive people don't have time to stop and bring others down.  So if other people are being douches, it's because they're making their problems known in a loud fashion because they can't control their shit.  If you can already control your own shit, you're already doing better than the douches are!  And if you're already taking responsibility for yourself enough to control yourself a little bit, then you can figure out the rest of this stuff no problem.  But it is YOUR responsibility to seek help and try to get better.  Don't just sit and blame society for what they've done to you; get up and fight for a better outlook.  Talk to people, start discussions, look to those close to you or paid professionals for help.  You can change jobs, change friend groups, change locations, or change any aspect of your practical life.  It takes dedication and it takes work, though.

[Pete from Boston]

Issues with school or bullying or with your peers will go away in time.

Unfortunately, in my experience, the adult workplace is more like high school than adults care to admit, bullies and all.

Which is why learning coping skills is critical.  Sure, culture should change, but there's no reason to leave oneself at the mercy of the pace of that change.

This is totally crucial.  People want to blame everyone else for what's wrong.  And even when the people around you are the reason for your sadness or suffering, the only thing you can control is how you react to it.  After experiencing enough negativity from other people, you start to realize that the reason for their crappy behavior is because they're broken just like you are.  Happy, productive people don't have time to stop and bring others down.  So if other people are being douches, it's because they're making their problems known in a loud fashion because they can't control their shit.  If you can already control your own shit, you're already doing better than the douches are!  And if you're already taking responsibility for yourself enough to control yourself a little bit, then you can figure out the rest of this stuff no problem.  But it is YOUR responsibility to seek help and try to get better.  Don't just sit and blame society for what they've done to you; get up and fight for a better outlook.  Talk to people, start discussions, look to those close to you or paid professionals for help.  You can change jobs, change friend groups, change locations, or change any aspect of your practical life.  It takes dedication and it takes work, though.

I would echo a lot of this, but with maybe a spoonful of compassion.  It is indeed difficult to rise above life's hurdles.  But it's unlikely the world is going to make you happy unless you decide that is what you are going to become.  You have to take the first step.

[authenticroadgeek]

I've actually been registered here for almost a year now, but I haven't been able to use 10 months of it because of a foster house, where I formed my seemingly endless lust for this one girl. The mom was worried about my social interaction, so she put me in a behavioral unit for juvenile delinquents. She also had me in an after-school program that was literally designed to make kids unhappy, probably because she wanted me out of her house as much as possible.

And to think I successfully refrained from suicide in that emotionally abusive household

[Katavia]

High degree of autism spectrum correlation because of the tendency to want to put things in order, to have lists, and to devote oneself to one or a few highly specialized fields.

Same here.

[cpzilliacus]

Could be relevant to this thread:  Beyond the catchphrase - The pain and intransigence of obsessive-compulsive disorder motivates researchers plumbing its depths.

The computer screen and joystick are similar to those used with many virtual-reality games. It's just that at the New York State Psychiatric Institute, the players compete while lying inside a highly sensitive MRI scanner.

The frontier in mental illness treatment: In the struggle over the future of psychiatry, researchers look deep within the brain to understand mental illness and find new therapeutic tools.

In one challenge, the youths maneuver through a maze of corridors, searching for bright green dollar signs. Another tests their ability to recognize an error on the screen. All the while, the scanner is photographing "slices"  of their brains. The ultimate reward is far more than a game: In the first clinical trial of its kind, those multi-band images are mapping the unknown territory of obsessive-compulsive disorder.

[Pete from Boston]

Could be relevant to this thread:  Beyond the catchphrase - The pain and intransigence of obsessive-compulsive disorder motivates researchers plumbing its depths.

The computer screen and joystick are similar to those used with many virtual-reality games. It's just that at the New York State Psychiatric Institute, the players compete while lying inside a highly sensitive MRI scanner.

The frontier in mental illness treatment: In the struggle over the future of psychiatry, researchers look deep within the brain to understand mental illness and find new therapeutic tools.

In one challenge, the youths maneuver through a maze of corridors, searching for bright green dollar signs. Another tests their ability to recognize an error on the screen. All the while, the scanner is photographing "slices"  of their brains. The ultimate reward is far more than a game: In the first clinical trial of its kind, those multi-band images are mapping the unknown territory of obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I think I lack the words to describe my awe with how much more we are going to know about how brains work in even 10 years thanks to the wonders of fMRI.  The word "revolutionary" has been diluted too much to convey how this is occurring, but it is exactly accurate.