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Should I Give Up Here?

Started by 707, July 31, 2018, 01:24:54 AM

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1995hoo

Quote from: qguy on August 02, 2018, 08:39:19 AM
Quote from: mgk920 on August 01, 2018, 11:21:13 AM
Every person is a little bit nuts, just in wildly varying ways.

I think this is profoundly true. In my experience and observation everyone is weird in some way. The only questions are the degree and the visibility.

I've often spoken with people who were discouraged thinking they themselves were too weird. I tell people if you know someone who you don't think is really weird in some way, then you just don't know them well enough. The closer you know someone, anyone, the more you see the weird things. Sometimes it's small things, sometimes big things. But everyone's got 'em.

To me, it's the weird things that make people interesting. When I look back on my life, the places I've lived, the people I've known, and the friends I've had, I see that the people I enjoyed spending time with the most have been people who others thought were "weird." It's been true all my life and it's still true for me now.

So yeah, we're glad you're here.

http://youtu.be/pesBEKdAo7I
"You know, you never have a guaranteed spot until you have a spot guaranteed."
—Olaf Kolzig, as quoted in the Washington Times on March 28, 2003,
commenting on the Capitals clinching a playoff spot.

"That sounded stupid, didn't it?"
—Kolzig, to the same reporter a few seconds later.


vdeane

#51
Quote from: roadman65 on August 02, 2018, 05:26:34 PM
I would like to know why they cannot say its an illness.  Considering that they feel different and cannot tell others feelings, see cues or feel empathy means something inside the brain is not functioning well.  Asperger's creates Bipolar which itself is considered a mental illness but considering itself is something that is not of a normally functioning chemical process, that too should be considered an illness.
I feel that we should clarify that just because one has a hard time with body language, facial expressions, etc. does not mean they don't feel empathy.  People with Autism/Aspergers may not as aware of what other people are feeling, but when they become aware, they feel empathy just like others... sometimes moreso.  In fact, recent theories believe the those with Autism/Aspergers actually feel too much empathy!  That would be why we have issues with eye contact - what for most people is regular emotional communication is very, very intense for us and likely hinders us learning these things.

In my case, the fact that I'm an INFJ and have Aspergers leaves me in a weird place.  Being INFJ helps blunt the worst of the Aspergers, but at the same time the two also cancel out the best of each other - I have neither the logical/thinking skills of someone with Aspergers, nor the emotional skills of an INFJ.  I do have some creativity, but am not good enough to use it for anything useful.

My need for routine, planning things well in advance (I'm talking at least a couple weeks to a month just to do something on a Saturday) and time to recharge also makes a normal social life effectively impossible for me.  I do feel lonely fairly often because of it.

In any case, with the increasing emphasis on "soft skills" in the workplace, those of us with Autism/Aspergers are becoming increasingly unemployable.
Please note: All comments here represent my own personal opinion and do not reflect the official position of NYSDOT or its affiliates.

adventurernumber1

Quote from: vdeane on August 02, 2018, 10:34:46 PM
Quote from: roadman65 on August 02, 2018, 05:26:34 PM
I would like to know why they cannot say its an illness.  Considering that they feel different and cannot tell others feelings, see cues or feel empathy means something inside the brain is not functioning well.  Asperger's creates Bipolar which itself is considered a mental illness but considering itself is something that is not of a normally functioning chemical process, that too should be considered an illness.
I feel that we should clarify that just because one has a hard time with body language, facial expressions, etc. does not mean they don't feel empathy.  People with Autism/Aspergers may not as aware of what other people are feeling, but when they become aware, they feel empathy just like others... sometimes moreso.  In fact, recent theories believe the those with Autism/Aspergers actually feel too much empathy!  That would be why we have issues with eye contact - what for most people is regular emotional communication is very, very intense for us and likely hinders us learning these things.

In my case, the fact that I'm an INFJ and have Aspergers leaves me in a weird place.  Being INFJ helps blunt the worst of the Aspergers, but at the same time the two also cancel out the best of each other - I have neither the logical/thinking skills of someone with Aspergers, nor the emotional skills of an INFJ.  I do have some creativity, but am not good enough to use it for anything useful.

My need for routine, planning things well in advance (I'm talking at least a couple weeks to a month just to do something on a Saturday) and time to recharge also makes a normal social life effectively impossible for me.  I do feel lonely fairly often because of it.

In any case, with the increasing emphasis on "soft skills" in the workplace, those of us with Autism/Aspergers are becoming increasingly unemployable.

Very well said, vdeane!

Another thing is that us people with autism may feel empathy, but we may not always know how to express it. Someone could tell me terrible news and I could feel incredibly saddened and feel lots of sorrow and empathy, but I could easily be sitting there with a blank face and little expression at first. More often than not, though, I will usually be much more emotional and react more heavily to the situation later on (perhaps a few hours later). Sometimes the emotions I exhibit could also be the complete opposite of what I actually feel or what is appropriate for the situation. Sometimes I laugh at inappropriate times, and sometimes I cry at inappropriate times, but it is completely beyond my control, and it doesn't reflect what I actually feel. Sometimes what we actually feel, and the emotions and expressions, or lack thereof, that we actually exhibit don't quite match up.
Now alternating between different highway shields for my avatar - my previous highway shield avatar for the last few years was US 76.

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mgk920

Have we recently seen from the OP of this thread?

Mike

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hbelkins

Quote
Due to that, the feelings of frustration or disappointment due to issues encountered on the forum felt more intense than usual, with the other incident magnifying the feelings.

I can relate. Sometimes I go to great lengths just to troll certain people, and I get frustrated when they don't bite.  :-D :-D :-D :-D


Government would be tolerable if not for politicians and bureaucrats.

Max Rockatansky

Quote from: mgk920 on August 03, 2018, 11:02:15 AM
Have we recently seen from the OP of this thread?

Mike

Gave up on the thread?

707

Sorry for vanishing for a bit. I've been busy dealing with private life for a while. I wanted to thank everyone for the support and one of the users for a helpful PM helping to explain something about a person that bothered me a while back. My apologies for bumping this up to date, but I need to give acknowledgement and gratitude where its due. Thanks again everyone for your supportive and kind words. I'm glad I'm not alone out here. :)



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