Print Page - Famous Stand Up Lines

Title: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: roadman65 on March 14, 2019, 11:40:42 PM

Rodney Dangerfield: My wife told me to take out the garbage. I said to her "You cooked it, you take it out!"

Title: Re: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: Takumi on March 15, 2019, 12:54:19 AM

https://youtu.be/P28ErxjBY4o

Title: Re: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: abefroman329 on March 15, 2019, 06:36:49 AM

Famous for all the wrong reasons: Fifty years ago we'd have had you hanging upside down from a tree with a pitchfork in your ass!

Title: Re: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: GaryV on March 15, 2019, 06:59:21 AM

Henny Youngman: Take my wife ... please!

Title: Re: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: abefroman329 on March 15, 2019, 09:23:45 AM

Quote from: Takumi on March 15, 2019, 12:54:19 AM
https://youtu.be/P28ErxjBY4o

I haven't slept for a week...because that would be too long.

Title: Re: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: Takumi on March 15, 2019, 11:02:16 AM

Quote from: abefroman329 on March 15, 2019, 09:23:45 AM
Quote from: Takumi on March 15, 2019, 12:54:19 AM
https://youtu.be/P28ErxjBY4o
I haven't slept for a week...because that would be too long.

I tried to walk into Target and missed.

Title: Re: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: wxfree on March 15, 2019, 12:25:24 PM

Quote from: abefroman329 on March 15, 2019, 09:23:45 AM
Quote from: Takumi on March 15, 2019, 12:54:19 AM
https://youtu.be/P28ErxjBY4o
I haven't slept for a week...because that would be too long.

In a similar vein: "24 hour banking, I don't have time for it."

I forgot who said that, but I heard it a long time ago and never forgot it.

Title: Re: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: abefroman329 on March 15, 2019, 12:55:00 PM

Oh no, I've got...HAPPY FEET!

Title: Re: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: wanderer2575 on March 15, 2019, 08:08:24 PM

A member of Group A, a member of Group B, and a member of Group C walk into a bar...

Title: Re: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: inkyatari on March 18, 2019, 05:14:54 PM

"Well EXCUUUUSSSEEEE ME!"

Title: Re: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: SSOWorld on March 18, 2019, 07:37:38 PM

https://twitter.com/thegeorgecarlin/status/381842458398564352

Title: Re: Famous Stand Up Lines
Post by: US71 on March 20, 2019, 11:00:07 PM

"I heard from my cat's lawyer today. My cat wants $12,000 a week for Tender Vittles" --Johnny Carson

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Non-Road Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: roadman65 on March 14, 2019, 11:40:42 PM