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Watching yourself evolve on the forum

Started by index, February 19, 2023, 08:40:22 PM

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Roadgeekteen

Quote from: triplemultiplex on February 20, 2023, 02:25:53 PM

Traditional millennial definition starts in the early 80s so 40 year olds are millennials now.
God-emperor of Alanland, king of all the goats and goat-like creatures

Current Interstate map I am making:

https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/0/edit?hl=en&mid=1PEDVyNb1skhnkPkgXi8JMaaudM2zI-Y&ll=29.05778059819179%2C-82.48856825&z=5


kphoger

Quote from: webny99 on February 19, 2023, 10:26:13 PM
From everything I've heard and/or seen others go through, raising a child/children tends to change a person a lot more than being married (although I can't speak for myself, since I haven't done either).

Absolutely.  We were just talking about that very thing last night in the car, on the way home from church small group.

I still remember, back when I was 18 and had gotten my girlfriend pregnant, my dad telling me that getting married only changes your life a little bit, but having kids changes your life dramatically.  And he was totally right.

When you get married, you basically get a roommate–and not just any roommate, but someone you already know you get along with pretty well.  But, when you have kids, everything in your life has to take them into account.  Want to sleep in? too bad.  Want to go to a concert but you're kid is sick? you're staying home.  Want a new bicycle but can't afford both that and diapers? you're buying diapers instead.  Want to trade in your car for an old Bajaj Chetak you saw on Craigslist? not a chance.  Having kids is a wonderful part of life, but your life is definitely not your own anymore–to a much greater degree than when you get married.
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

kphoger

One of the biggest difference I've seen in myself is the ability to look up official information online to inform my opinion–especially the MUTCD.

I've also learned to be more polite (believe it or not, if you're new here, I used to be worse).  And that seems to have mended some rifts between me and a few other members.  It's a more congenial place these days, and I'd like to take credit for at least a tiny bit of that.
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

Max Rockatansky

Quote from: Roadgeekteen on February 20, 2023, 01:58:41 PM
Quote from: Max Rockatansky on February 20, 2023, 12:36:40 PM
Quote from: MultiMillionMiler on February 20, 2023, 12:02:49 PM
That's why back in high school when I created an email account I just set the birthday at 1989 instead of 1999, so had no trouble downloading M rated games, watching "inappropriate" stuff, and little did anyone know you were now going to have to be 18 for sites like YouTube lol.

Problem is when you use "lol"  in sentences you tend to date yourself to Millennial or Z era.
Max ur a millennial as well

That's slander, what happened to the 1984 definition? 

Although, more than fair to say that I grew up with technology.  My dad was a software designer and worked on much of the user interface of Prodigy Online.  Granted, I lost interest in things like computers in high school in favor of more then traditional endeavors.

Scott5114

#29
Quote from: kphoger on February 20, 2023, 02:46:11 PM
Quote from: webny99 on February 19, 2023, 10:26:13 PM
From everything I've heard and/or seen others go through, raising a child/children tends to change a person a lot more than being married (although I can't speak for myself, since I haven't done either).

Absolutely.  We were just talking about that very thing last night in the car, on the way home from church small group.

I still remember, back when I was 18 and had gotten my girlfriend pregnant, my dad telling me that getting married only changes your life a little bit, but having kids changes your life dramatically.  And he was totally right.

When you get married, you basically get a roommate–and not just any roommate, but someone you already know you get along with pretty well.  But, when you have kids, everything in your life has to take them into account.  Want to sleep in? too bad.  Want to go to a concert but you're kid is sick? you're staying home.  Want a new bicycle but can't afford both that and diapers? you're buying diapers instead.  Want to trade in your car for an old Bajaj Chetak you saw on Craigslist? not a chance.  Having kids is a wonderful part of life, but your life is definitely not your own anymore–to a much greater degree than when you get married.

I don't doubt that having kids is a much bigger life change. But I wouldn't undersell how much getting married changes your life, even when you've been dating or even living with the person for a long time and know them very well. Managing shared finances, especially when you don't have a lot of money, introduces a political angle to the whole situation. Stuff like "I need a haircut, but if I get one, my wife will want one too. It would be unfair to say no, and we can't afford two haircuts, so I'll just go without."

Were I ever to find myself in a long term committed relationship with someone else, the farthest I would probably want to bring the relationship would be living together but still maintaining separate finances. The only reason I would want to get married again would be if there was some irresistible legal reason we needed to (say, it was the only way one of us could afford health insurance or some government benefit, the other person was not a US citizen and they were at risk of deportation or we wanted to emigrate to their country, etc.)
uncontrollable freak sardine salad chef

index

Quote from: Scott5114 on February 20, 2023, 05:16:25 PM
Quote from: kphoger on February 20, 2023, 02:46:11 PM
Quote from: webny99 on February 19, 2023, 10:26:13 PM
From everything I've heard and/or seen others go through, raising a child/children tends to change a person a lot more than being married (although I can't speak for myself, since I haven't done either).

Absolutely.  We were just talking about that very thing last night in the car, on the way home from church small group.

I still remember, back when I was 18 and had gotten my girlfriend pregnant, my dad telling me that getting married only changes your life a little bit, but having kids changes your life dramatically.  And he was totally right.

When you get married, you basically get a roommate—and not just any roommate, but someone you already know you get along with pretty well.  But, when you have kids, everything in your life has to take them into account.  Want to sleep in? too bad.  Want to go to a concert but you're kid is sick? you're staying home.  Want a new bicycle but can't afford both that and diapers? you're buying diapers instead.  Want to trade in your car for an old Bajaj Chetak you saw on Craigslist? not a chance.  Having kids is a wonderful part of life, but your life is definitely not your own anymore—to a much greater degree than when you get married.

Stuff like "I need a haircut, but if I get one, my wife will want one too. It would be unfair to say no, and we can't afford two haircuts, so I'll just go without."

Easy, just find another person with wildly different preferences for their hairstyle. I started shaving my head bald last year for a few reasons, mainly that I hated my hair type anyway, it was a constant pain to maintain, it was always falling out everywhere no matter what I did, and I had a horrible case of dandruff that I couldn't seem to take care of. I was afraid that I'd look stupid if I was bald but I bit the bullet and I actually like it. I occasionally get jokes like "you look like a dollar store version of The Rock" but it is way better than having to constantly clean hair and dandruff out of my bed, off my keyboard, and off my desk. And I don't have to spend money on shampoo and conditioner anymore. Body wash does the trick.

On the other hand, my partner takes his hair very seriously and hasn't cut it in like three years. I swear to god he must be Samson or something. Fancy shampoo and conditioner, taking care of hair for like 30 minutes in the morning, etc etc.
I love my 2010 Ford Explorer.



Counties traveled

Scott5114

The haircut issue is just a stand-in for various other compromises of this type that marriage (or, my marriage, anyway) requires–I could have easily used books/games, eating out, etc. The basic thing I was getting at is that when seeing whether nonessentials fit in the budget, I have to multiply the estimated price by two since I have to accommodate for my wife getting something of equivalent value.

I imagine your partner spends so much time on his hair because it's been a factor in his success in the past. After all, it helped him get you as a partner, didn't it?  :nod:
uncontrollable freak sardine salad chef

Max Rockatansky

My wife has on occasion asks me to grow my hair out.  For one, I don't like longer hair given it's a pain in the ass to maintain.  But secondly, it's not as though she didn't like me with short hair.  I was even shaving my face for a couple years which happened to intersect with meeting my wife.  She tells me all the time that she didn't like how young I looked shaved, could've fooled me when we were dating.

Takumi

I haven't been clean shaven in over a decade now, but I showed my fiancée some photos of myself from then and she says she doesn't like it as much as my beard.
Quote from: Rothman on July 15, 2021, 07:52:59 AM
Olive Garden must be stopped.  I must stop them.

Don't @ me. Seriously.

JoePCool14

I'm approaching 10 years on this forum, and my postings have no doubt improved since I joined. This forum was one of the earliest online communities I joined, and most likely the one I've been most consistently present in over the years.

Anyone familiar with me will remember how I joined primarily to post my own BGS, get feedback on them, and critique others' creations. The Road-Related Illustrations board is littered with my original posts. You can also see my distaste for IDOT even as a 12-year-old.

Quote from: JoePCool14 on July 08, 2013, 07:56:17 PM
IDOT sure does create a lot of shit. They are just bad at designing signs (and also are bad at using Clearview).

Quote from: JoePCool14 on July 08, 2013, 08:00:50 PM
To be honest with you, IDOT could (and would) find a way to screw that idea up.

I was big into using certain profanity, since I thought it was the "cool" thing to do around here. Nowadays, I do my best to refrain from it, since I feel it detracts from the content of the post. I also didn't quite understand the difference between IDOT and ISTHA (or ISTWA, as I sometimes called it).

The quality of my signs also left a lot to be desired. I think that's where my real growth can be seen, since nearly all of my original posts were about making BGS.

Quote from: JoePCool14 on July 09, 2013, 07:50:06 PM
My version! MUTCD Vanilla:


Another thing I used to do is add "post markers" when I crossed x-hundred posts.

Quote from: JoePCool14 on January 22, 2014, 03:56:34 PM
Looks great. Like I said, I sometimes mess up the shield when dragging so yeah.

POST MARKER:


Quote from: JoePCool14 on February 18, 2014, 09:46:09 PM
Here is another font-naming competition!!


_______________________________________



I also "predicted" this about FYAs in 2014.

Quote from: JoePCool14 on February 18, 2014, 07:12:33 PM
If not yet mentioned:

It hasn't, isn't and never will make it to Illinois.

As for IDOT D1, this continues to be true, though some county DOTs have begun to incorporate it in select locations.

Yeah, a lot has changed over the years. And I know things will continue to change. It's cool to see the growth though, but I still have much to improve upon, no doubt.

:) Needs more... :sombrero: Not quite... :bigass: Perfect.
JDOT: We make the world a better place to drive.
Travel Mapping | 60+ Clinches | 260+ Traveled | 8000+ Miles Logged

GaryV

I wish a couple users on this forum would evolve. But just our luck, they might evolve downward.

JoePCool14

Quote from: GaryV on February 21, 2023, 11:57:34 AM
I wish a couple users on this forum would evolve. But just our luck, they might evolve downward.

It's like that one Pewdiepie meme. "It's evolving, only backwards."

:) Needs more... :sombrero: Not quite... :bigass: Perfect.
JDOT: We make the world a better place to drive.
Travel Mapping | 60+ Clinches | 260+ Traveled | 8000+ Miles Logged

kphoger

Quote from: Scott5114 on February 20, 2023, 05:16:25 PM
I don't doubt that having kids is a much bigger life change. But I wouldn't undersell how much getting married changes your life, even when you've been dating or even living with the person for a long time and know them very well. Managing shared finances, especially when you don't have a lot of money, introduces a political angle to the whole situation. Stuff like "I need a haircut, but if I get one, my wife will want one too. It would be unfair to say no, and we can't afford two haircuts, so I'll just go without."

Were I ever to find myself in a long term committed relationship with someone else, the farthest I would probably want to bring the relationship would be living together but still maintaining separate finances. The only reason I would want to get married again would be if there was some irresistible legal reason we needed to (say, it was the only way one of us could afford health insurance or some government benefit, the other person was not a US citizen and they were at risk of deportation or we wanted to emigrate to their country, etc.)

Quote from: Scott5114 on February 20, 2023, 06:05:37 PM
The haircut issue is just a stand-in for various other compromises of this type that marriage (or, my marriage, anyway) requires–I could have easily used books/games, eating out, etc. The basic thing I was getting at is that when seeing whether nonessentials fit in the budget, I have to multiply the estimated price by two since I have to accommodate for my wife getting something of equivalent value.

My wife and I have been Just Over Broke the whole time we've been together, and this has rarely if ever been an issue.  When you're single, it's just your income and your expenses.  When you're married, you simply share your income and share your expenses with your spouse.  The simplest and perhaps most common way of going about things is to allow each other the freedom and trust to make small purchases without consulting, but to talk about large expenses ahead of time.  And, obviously, that threshold gets lower when you're pinching pennies.  I even know couples who give each other a cash 'allowance' every week or month for small purchases, but anything bigger requires a conversation first.  It's not hard to figure out a solution.  In fact, my wife and I have never even felt the need to state our system out loud or write it down or anything:  it's just common sense.

I've never once thought that my making a purchase might encourage my wife to make a similar purchase, and I've never once felt encouraged to spend money just because my wife did.  If we're tight on money, I might put off replenishing my stock of loose-leaf tea or restocking the liquor cabinet, and my wife might put off getting her hair cut or order less of her favorite soda on Amazon, but each one of us is making that call on our own out of respect for our shared budget.

One thing I'll mention is that I almost never say a word when my wife orders something work-related.  She works from home (home childcare and direct sales), and I see those expenses as business-related, even though they come from our shared budget.

tl;dr – If you're both reasonable people, then it isn't as big a deal as you might imagine it to be.
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

SectorZ

Quote from: Max Rockatansky on February 20, 2023, 12:36:40 PM
Quote from: MultiMillionMiler on February 20, 2023, 12:02:49 PM
That's why back in high school when I created an email account I just set the birthday at 1989 instead of 1999, so had no trouble downloading M rated games, watching "inappropriate" stuff, and little did anyone know you were now going to have to be 18 for sites like YouTube lol.

Problem is when you use "lol"  in sentences you tend to date yourself to Millennial or Z era.

Especially when no reasonable person would laugh out loud at that comment, especially at their own comment.

webny99

Quote from: kphoger on February 21, 2023, 01:05:43 PM
I've never once thought that my making a purchase might encourage my wife to make a similar purchase, and I've never once felt encouraged to spend money just because my wife did.  If we're tight on money, I might put off replenishing my stock of loose-leaf tea or restocking the liquor cabinet, and my wife might put off getting her hair cut or order less of her favorite soda on Amazon, but each one of us is making that call on our own out of respect for our shared budget.
...
tl;dr – If you're both reasonable people, then it isn't as big a deal as you might imagine it to be.

Thanks, I was very glad to read this because it was kind of what I was thinking, but didn't want to say so since I don't have any real life experience (yet).

kphoger

Quote from: Scott5114 on February 20, 2023, 05:16:25 PM
Were I ever to find myself in a long term committed relationship with someone else

Also, forgive me for making assumptions, but I just assumed that's the sort of relationship you and R had.
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

jgb191

I don't believe I changed much since I registered here 14 years ago.
We're so far south that we're not even considered "The South"

JayhawkCO

Quote from: Scott5114 on February 20, 2023, 03:42:42 AM
Quote from: index on February 20, 2023, 03:16:34 AM
I am a stickler about the lights being on when nobody is using them.

If you're trying to minimize your energy usage, there are a lot of things that you should probably focus on before the lights, because modern LED bulbs only use–

Quote from: index on February 20, 2023, 03:16:34 AM
I remember complaining about my father not liking it when I did my own laundry on this very forum when I was 14 or so. The washing machine might only cost a few cents an hour in electricity to run, and I tried to tell him that, because I knew everything, but I failed to consider...That shit adds up. I learned that fast with my own electric bill. When you are constantly broke, 20 bucks makes a difference.

Uh, never mind, I guess. :P

I think the power bill is a situation where knowledge is being able to minimize usage, and wisdom is knowing when minimizing it starts to become a negative quality of life issue. (Not saying you're having a problem with this, just speaking in general.) Sure, my wife and I combining our laundry loads probably reduced the power bill a decent amount, but it led to conflict between us (she doesn't bother to get the clean laundry out of the dryer for weeks, so I'd be late to work because I had to pick my work uniforms out of the giant combined mess of clothes in the dryer). So it's worth paying more in electricity and water to run separate loads and just not have to worry about that. Likewise, I could probably save a great deal of money setting the thermostat to 60° in the winter and 80° in the summer, but I value being comfortable more than I would having the extra money.

What does rankle me is that apparently, as long as I live in Oklahoma, I get to be subject to never-ending OG&E rate hikes, because the relevant regulatory agency is so thoroughly captured that their approval of any rate hike is a mere rubber stamp. My power bill has gone up $50/month year-over-year compared to winter 2021/2022. We are now paying kWh rates on par with those of Southern Nevada, but without the much higher Nevada salaries.

The Xcel energy rate hikes out here are what finally pushed me over the edge to go solar. Highly recommended. My panels are financed so that the bill is the same as my current electric bill which basically means I'm "unhikeable" and it's better for the environment. Win win.

Scott5114

Quote from: kphoger on February 21, 2023, 03:08:43 PM
Quote from: Scott5114 on February 20, 2023, 05:16:25 PM
Were I ever to find myself in a long term committed relationship with someone else

Also, forgive me for making assumptions, but I just assumed that's the sort of relationship you and R had.

It is currently, but it seems likely that will not always be the case going forward.
uncontrollable freak sardine salad chef

kphoger

Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

kphoger

In all seriousness, though, Scott, I'm sorry to hear that.
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

JayhawkCO

Quote from: webny99 on February 19, 2023, 10:26:13 PM
Quote from: Max Rockatansky on February 19, 2023, 10:14:30 PM
I don't think I've changed much since 2016.  My move to California was already finished by the time I registered on the forum.  I got married a couple years back but that really hasn't had a tangible difference on how much road stuff I do.  My wife is pretty independent like me, I don't think either of us have changed much due to being married.

From everything I've heard and/or seen others go through, raising a child/children tends to change a person a lot more than being married (although I can't speak for myself, since I haven't done either).

Coming from someone married for 7.5 years and with a 14 month old, I would fully agree with your assessment. A wedding was just a big party where we got to tell all of our friends and family how much we loved each other, and then we went back to the same relationship we had had days earlier. A kiddo changes a lot. Not everything, but a lot.

Scott5114

Quote from: kphoger on February 21, 2023, 05:04:58 PM
In all seriousness, though, Scott, I'm sorry to hear that.

Thanks for the well wishes. We've kind of come to the conclusion that we have different things that we're looking for in a relationship, and we intend to remain friends if nothing else, so it's as amicable as the circumstances can be. (We also have not set an exact end date for anything yet, as right now it's financially advantageous for both of us to not make any changes.)
uncontrollable freak sardine salad chef

SectorZ

Quote from: Scott5114 on February 21, 2023, 06:25:08 PM
Quote from: kphoger on February 21, 2023, 05:04:58 PM
In all seriousness, though, Scott, I'm sorry to hear that.

Thanks for the well wishes. We've kind of come to the conclusion that we have different things that we're looking for in a relationship, and we intend to remain friends if nothing else, so it's as amicable as the circumstances can be. (We also have not set an exact end date for anything yet, as right now it's financially advantageous for both of us to not make any changes.)

That's a rough thing to hear Scott. My condolences to you as you navigate your way through it.

Rothman

Quote from: Scott5114 on February 21, 2023, 06:25:08 PM
Quote from: kphoger on February 21, 2023, 05:04:58 PM
In all seriousness, though, Scott, I'm sorry to hear that.

Thanks for the well wishes. We've kind of come to the conclusion that we have different things that we're looking for in a relationship, and we intend to remain friends if nothing else, so it's as amicable as the circumstances can be. (We also have not set an exact end date for anything yet, as right now it's financially advantageous for both of us to not make any changes.)
Sorry to hear this, Scott.
Please note: All comments here represent my own personal opinion and do not reflect the official position(s) of NYSDOT.



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