Minor things that bother you

[kphoger]

– People leaving dirty dishes in the sink instead of on the counter (most people do so).

– People loading the dishwasher inefficiently or in such a way that items will collect an unnecessary amount of water (I pretty much re-load the dishwasher every time I run it, unless I'm the only one has been loading it).

– Janitors jamming so many paper towels into the dispenser cabinet that it's impossible to get one out without dislodging six more onto the floor (why do they do this?).

[J N Winkler]

– People leaving dirty dishes in the sink instead of on the counter (most people do so).

This annoys me as well, but I realize I have the luxury of working in a fairly large kitchen with an empty area next to the sink that is convenient for staging dishwasher loading.

– People loading the dishwasher inefficiently or in such a way that items will collect an unnecessary amount of water (I pretty much re-load the dishwasher every time I run it, unless I'm the only one has been loading it).

We've found running a drying cycle on our dishwasher eventually results in the drainpipe becoming clogged with detergent residue.  I'm the only one who loads the dishwasher, so I can usually ensure that bowls and food storage containers are placed so that they will drain, but every so often water movement knocks them over and I have to deal with collected water the next morning.

There have been studies of how families typically use dishwashers that have found the vast majority have one designated person who loads all the dishes.

– Janitors jamming so many paper towels into the dispenser cabinet that it's impossible to get one out without dislodging six more onto the floor (why do they do this?).

I have suspected paper towel dispensers are overfilled to allow intervals between successive cleanings to be kept as wide as possible and thus to limit complaints from users who find the bathroom closed for cleaning when they urgently need to relieve themselves.

My bathroom-related annoyances include stray bits of single-ply toilet paper on the floor--they always seem to be on the lookout for shoes to stick to.  It is also not uncommon for floor and custodial staff to take a "not my responsibility" minimum approach to cleaning that results in, e.g., a piece of chewing gum being left on the housing of a weight machine for literally years, or a dark brown discoloration being left on the wall behind a toilet for months.

[kphoger]

(I pretty much re-load the dishwasher every time I run it, unless I'm the only one has been loading it).

There have been studies of how families typically use dishwashers that have found the vast majority have one designated person who loads all the dishes.

My wife and I have only been married for 14 years, but I like to think we've already reached the point of mastering it.  One of the clues that we've reached that point is with the dishwasher.

It frustrates me when my wife loads the dishwasher in a way that, in my micro-managing opinion, is haphazard and inefficient.  It frustrates my wife that I follow along behind her and re-organize everything she just did in loading the dishwasher.  At least, it used to frustrate me and it used to frustrate her.  But a while ago we reached the point that we both know full well that I'm going to reorganize the dishwasher after she loads it, and we've both made our peace with that.  I'm the one who grew up playing Tetris, I'm the one who can load luggage into the car the best, and I'm the one who can load the dishwasher the best.  It used to frustrate her that she apparently doesn't do "a good enough job" loading the dishwasher, but really she knows darned well I do a better job at it.  It used to frustrate me that she honestly doesn't do "a good enough job", but really I know I should never realistically expect her to meet my anal-retentive (and largely unspoken) criteria for such a mundane task.

And–here's the kicker–even if she were really the better one at it, we still have enough tolerance for each other that we'd just chuckle at my following behind her.  "That's my wife", I'd think to myself.  "That's my husband", she'd think to herself.  And we'd shrug our shoulders and get on with the day.

That's the hallmark of a successful relationship:  some little thing annoys you about the other person and you can say with a smile on your face "Yep, that's my honey" and chuckle at it.

[formulanone]

This is a minor thing to me, but seems to be a major thing for many people: more and more it seems to be demanded that you "love" a piece of pop culture or "hate" it.

I'd chalk it up to the overwhelming societal impulse to convey many things in a dualistic manner. This existed well before social media, even though it's an easy target due to its binary like / love / up-vote culture.

And yet, people are responding with "I hate [show]." Really? Did you watch it and then go punch a wall, or kick a puppy? Does the memory of that show keep you up at night, seething? Did it break up your marriage or estrange you from your children? Did you have to work all this hate out with your therapist?

I get that "hate" may be used hyperbolically in this instance, but it's not always. Along those lines is what's currently being referred to as "toxic fandom." The idea that a movie or tv show is so abhorrent that one needs to wage an campaign to artificially influence ratings, or demand this or that, or to tear down the people who don't agree with your opinion, as if there's some ownership or control of the IP by the viewing audience, seems like such a unhealthy use of one's energy and time.

I suppose if the Ludovico Technique was performed on me while being forced to watch reality TV, I would probably hate it, as a self-preservation reaction to hurting myself. Outside of a dystopian future where I'd apparently committed grave crimes against a TV producer, I don't even have enough to time to care about what I actually enjoy, let alone find any time to vent about what I dislike. And I think that's a pretty good way to look back at your life in these times: to not even have time to complain means your life is well-lived.

But the Internet is loaded with people who enjoy venting, complaining, bitching, moaning, and hating whatever gets attention. Even before the world wide web was commercially-available to every Tom, Dick, and Modem, people were more likely to tell others about a bad experience than a good one. It's quick to say they liked or enjoyed something, but rarely find the words to express how wonderful something felt...sometimes it's just harder to find those words. However, it's even easier to explain every detail about how they disliked something and how bad it made them feel because others will pay attention to their story.

I think the reasons for that were because that gushing about a positive experience opens one up to having to explain things that are hard to put into words; that it leaves yourself open to criticism, and one's emotions become vulnerable if others don't enjoy that same thing in the same ways. Or that the enjoy-er feels less validated if other don't feel it the same ways. Or they just do't want to feel like they're bragging. Heading it back negatively, it's less likely that someone will correct another, in a face-to-face discussion, unless they know each other. And so they'll keep on down that path.

But the internet has avoided actually knowing others, so you just let your feelings rip. The loudest one in the room usually gets the most attention. Sometimes you wonder if people joined a group/forum/fanbase because they just want everyone to hear how much they hate things, rather than how much they enjoy something about the hobby or fandom. I'm not naming any names, but some of you know who you are...

[SSOWorld]

On top of that - entities - like IMDb - showing a couple photos on their main page and saying "Photos we love".

Ok.

[DaBigE]

(I pretty much re-load the dishwasher every time I run it, unless I'm the only one has been loading it).

There have been studies of how families typically use dishwashers that have found the vast majority have one designated person who loads all the dishes.

My wife and I have only been married for 14 years, but I like to think we've already reached the point of mastering it.  One of the clues that we've reached that point is with the dishwasher.

It frustrates me when my wife loads the dishwasher in a way that, in my micro-managing opinion, is haphazard and inefficient.  It frustrates my wife that I follow along behind her and re-organize everything she just did in loading the dishwasher.  At least, it used to frustrate me and it used to frustrate her.  But a while ago we reached the point that we both know full well that I'm going to reorganize the dishwasher after she loads it, and we've both made our peace with that.  I'm the one who grew up playing Tetris, I'm the one who can load luggage into the car the best, and I'm the one who can load the dishwasher the best.  It used to frustrate her that she apparently doesn't do "a good enough job" loading the dishwasher, but really she knows darned well I do a better job at it.  It used to frustrate me that she honestly doesn't do "a good enough job", but really I know I should never realistically expect her to meet my anal-retentive (and largely unspoken) criteria for such a mundane task.

And–here's the kicker–even if she were really the better one at it, we still have enough tolerance for each other that we'd just chuckle at my following behind her.  "That's my wife", I'd think to myself.  "That's my husband", she'd think to herself.  And we'd shrug our shoulders and get on with the day.

That's the hallmark of a successful relationship:  some little thing annoys you about the other person and you can say with a smile on your face "Yep, that's my honey" and chuckle at it.

It's funny, my wife has played Tetris WAY more than me, but is horribly inefficient at packing anything...trunks, luggage, cupboards, fridge, pantry, dishwashers, etc. It used to annoy her when I'd reload the dishwasher, but now she expects it, and (gasp) will occasionally ask for pointers. Everything else she now just hands right over to me... partially out of laziness, partly because she has admitted that I am better.

[formulanone]

(I pretty much re-load the dishwasher every time I run it, unless I'm the only one has been loading it).

There have been studies of how families typically use dishwashers that have found the vast majority have one designated person who loads all the dishes.

My wife and I have only been married for 14 years, but I like to think we've already reached the point of mastering it.  One of the clues that we've reached that point is with the dishwasher.

It frustrates me when my wife loads the dishwasher in a way that, in my micro-managing opinion, is haphazard and inefficient.  It frustrates my wife that I follow along behind her and re-organize everything she just did in loading the dishwasher.  At least, it used to frustrate me and it used to frustrate her.  But a while ago we reached the point that we both know full well that I'm going to reorganize the dishwasher after she loads it, and we've both made our peace with that.  I'm the one who grew up playing Tetris, I'm the one who can load luggage into the car the best, and I'm the one who can load the dishwasher the best.  It used to frustrate her that she apparently doesn't do "a good enough job" loading the dishwasher, but really she knows darned well I do a better job at it.  It used to frustrate me that she honestly doesn't do "a good enough job", but really I know I should never realistically expect her to meet my anal-retentive (and largely unspoken) criteria for such a mundane task.

And–here's the kicker–even if she were really the better one at it, we still have enough tolerance for each other that we'd just chuckle at my following behind her.  "That's my wife", I'd think to myself.  "That's my husband", she'd think to herself.  And we'd shrug our shoulders and get on with the day.

That's the hallmark of a successful relationship:  some little thing annoys you about the other person and you can say with a smile on your face "Yep, that's my honey" and chuckle at it.

It's funny, my wife has played Tetris WAY more than me, but is horribly inefficient at packing anything...trunks, luggage, cupboards, fridge, pantry, dishwashers, etc. It used to annoy her when I'd reload the dishwasher, but now she expects it, and (gasp) will occasionally ask for pointers. Everything else she now just hands right over to me... partially out of laziness, partly because she has admitted that I am better.

We usually let the kids do the dishes now, and they're getting pretty good at it. If they're handling homework or some other task we don't want to do, I usually get stuck being the loader.

(Frankly, I can't stand the spacial inefficiency of our present dishwasher, it seems to be designed for dishes, utensils, and eight-ounce cups, but nothing more without sacrificing lots of room. Cereal bowls and plastic storage containers just have no good way to stay put, the pans take up too much room...that's a minor grudge because you can't test-drive a dishwasher, and you don't want to return it after spending 3-4 hours installing it.)

In our relationship, I just happen to be better at spacial awareness and organization; or at least, I was more involved at a younger age with performing tasks and hobbies which involved those things. So I'm acknowledged to be better at packing things, stacking, organizing, re-organizing, visualizing order, estimating volume, and other types of arrangement...

...and she's better at pretty much everything else that actually matters.

[kphoger]

It's funny, my wife has played Tetris WAY more than me, but is horribly inefficient at packing anything...trunks, luggage, cupboards, fridge, pantry, dishwashers, etc. ... she has admitted that I am better.

In our relationship, I just happen to be better at spacial awareness and organization

They say men's minds tend to be more adept at that than women's.  In my experience, it's not necessarily true but does seem to be the general trend.

...and she's better at pretty much everything else that actually matters.

I was about to say that that's also a general trend, but then I started thinking about it and realized it might actually be a 50/50 split between men and women among the couples I know.  That might be partially because "what actually matters" is a very broad umbrella and covers many areas of life.  For example, character education and money management aren't necessarily the forte of the same parent, but both are things that "actually matter".

[mgk920]

Younger people (mainly later millennials and later) constantly changing their tune players after every song, or even before each song file has finished playing.  Double demerits if they are constantly yelling these song changing instructions at an Alexa player - *THAT* is über-annoying, especially at work!



(This really makes me appreciate decent radio stations and tune player playlists!)

Mike

[roadman65]

Texting and driving!  They are the ones most likely reacting slowly to a light change.

[GaryV]

... reacting slowly to a light change.

They don't react slowly.  They react surprisingly fast after ignoring it for too long.  Or maybe they don't react at all and blow thru it.

[MNHighwayMan]

– People leaving dirty dishes in the sink instead of on the counter (most people do so).

– People loading the dishwasher inefficiently or in such a way that items will collect an unnecessary amount of water (I pretty much re-load the dishwasher every time I run it, unless I'm the only one has been loading it).

I feel these on a spiritual level. How am I supposed to wash anything when there's a bunch of stuff in the sink? Or, secondly, expect anything to be clean if it's full of debris water?

On a related note, why not just put your dishwasher-safe dishes in the dishwasher when you're done with them? Why make someone else (or yourself, but later) do it? I kinda get it if it just finished running, and you have to put all the clean stuff away, but that's the small price to pay for all the other convenience.

[kphoger]

why not just put your dishwasher-safe dishes in the dishwasher when you're done with them? Why make someone else (or yourself, but later) do it? I kinda get it if it just finished running, and you have to put all the clean stuff away, but that's the small price to pay for all the other convenience.

1.  At home, the dishwasher is often still full.  My family knows not to put dirty dishes in the sink, but guests almost invariably put theirs in the sink instead of the on the counter.

2.  At work, there is no dishwasher.  People use dishes, stick them in the sink, clock back in from break, and then leave the dishes there for a couple of hours until they catch another break to wash them.

[J N Winkler]

On a related note, why not just put your dishwasher-safe dishes in the dishwasher when you're done with them? Why make someone else (or yourself, but later) do it? I kinda get it if it just finished running, and you have to put all the clean stuff away, but that's the small price to pay for all the other convenience.

Some families do load as they go.  We don't.  We use some bowls, dishes, and glasses multiple times in one day (e.g., I rinse out my oatmeal bowl and use it for soup).  And to save time when unloading the dishwasher, I prefer to group like with like, which is easier to manage when loading all at once rather than several times through the day.  I also pre-soak some dishes to avoid baking cooking fats onto them during the wash cycle.

We generally run our dishwasher just once a day, usually overnight, and unload it first thing in the morning--I typically do it while my moka pot is on the stove.  In communal settings or with larger families, it is easier to wind up in a situation where the dishwasher has to be loaded and run multiple times a day, e.g. between meals.

[Max Rockatansky]

Anyone do their dishes by hand?  I do largely because the washer doesn't clean as well as I can by hand.  Aside from that I don't like the accumulation of clutter piling up in a washer just out of sight. 

[kphoger]

Anyone do their dishes by hand?  I do largely because the washer doesn't clean as well as I can by hand.  Aside from that I don't like the accumulation of clutter piling up in a washer just out of sight. 

Only things that the dishwasher would tend to ruin:  chef's knives, wooden utensils, enamelware, pots and pans, cutting boards...

My parents only use their dishwasher when they have company over, because it takes no time at all to clean up for two people.

[Rothman]

I only wash non-dishwasher safe dishes or utensils I need to reuse in short order by hand.

Otherwise, the dishwasher is good enough.  I find the quality of dishwashing detergent to be a big factor in cleanliness (i.e., splurge for Cascade pods).

[vdeane]

Anyone do their dishes by hand?  I do largely because the washer doesn't clean as well as I can by hand.  Aside from that I don't like the accumulation of clutter piling up in a washer just out of sight. 

Depends on how much stuff I have whether everything gets washed by hand or only some of it.  Even the weeks where I have more, it still takes days to fill it up, so the spatula and pan I use for breakfast get washed by hand every day (except for the spatula on the day the dishwasher is actually run; the pan is always hand washed because it's old and wears more in the dishwasher).

Younger people (mainly later millennials and later) constantly changing their tune players after every song, or even before each song file has finished playing.  Double demerits if they are constantly yelling these song changing instructions at an Alexa player - *THAT* is über-annoying, especially at work!



(This really makes me appreciate decent radio stations and tune player playlists!)

Mike

That's because we grew up on iPods and iTunes.  Back then, we'd buy and play individual songs - that said, song view on an iPod and the iTunes library both put everything you own into one giant playlist, necessitating pausing or changing the song after each one - it would jump to whatever was next with respect to how it organized the list otherwise.  The idea of popping in a CD and listening to a whole album start to finish is mostly foreign to us, though some hipsters will do that with records.

I haven't bought physical music (except for the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, and even then only for the stories in the liner notes) in ages.

[J N Winkler]

The only nominally dishwasher-safe thing we regularly hand-wash is a stainless steel skillet.

Things that are dishwasher-safe that are reused between wash cycles are normally rinsed only, not washed.

[J N Winkler]

I get that "hate" may be used hyperbolically in this instance, but it's not always. Along those lines is what's currently being referred to as "toxic fandom." The idea that a movie or tv show is so abhorrent that one needs to wage an campaign to artificially influence ratings, or demand this or that, or to tear down the people who don't agree with your opinion, as if there's some ownership or control of the IP by the viewing audience, seems like such a unhealthy use of one's energy and time.

I'm inclined to view a splitter mindset toward creative franchises (a given instance being either the greatest or the worst of all time) as a manifestation of the narcissism of small differences, and also a reflection of oblivion to the sheer privilege we enjoy, living as we do in an age when acquisition of the basic necessities of life is not an all-consuming preoccupation for most in the First World.

I am a fan of several long-running franchises - enough so that I will go into a rabbit hole reading wiki articles on minor characters, and I listen to multiple podcasts about those franchises, but not so much that I digest each and every piece of their "expanded universes." In each case, I enjoy most of it. I love a lot of it. And some of it I haven't enjoyed as much. And other people have different opinions - great. But there seems to be a whole lot of people who spend a whole lot of time (online, mostly) telling the world how terrible this movie or that episode was, how the studio/director/writer is "destroying the franchise," and how anyone who disagrees with this viewpoint "isn't a true fan."

Again, it's a minor thing to me, because all of this vitriol doesn't affect my enjoyment (or non-enjoyment) of a piece of entertainment. But I see it, and it does make me worry about the general state of discourse nowadays.

I think it is right to worry about the state of discourse, but what happens in fandoms is only a fairly small part of it.  A large share of fan spaces exist on platforms which depend on clicks for financial survival, which incentivizes attention-getting behavior.

Over the years, I have dabbled with several franchises, and come to realize that I don't do well in fan spaces in general.  I have tried some where the creator is absent, and others where the creator is routinely present.  In both types of spaces the fans revel in the smallest details of character, story, and production:  I'm happy enough to get into the tall weeds when the enterprise involved is at the scale of an entire society and is collaborative in nature (e.g., the traffic signing system in a particular country), but when it comes to the product of an individual's imagination, I am left with the feeling of toiling without pay in someone else's plantation.  And when the creator is present, many fans engage in acts of overt worship that I find nauseating.

[1995hoo]

We have some "dishwasher-safe" things that we don't put in there because of size or shape–they're just different enough from most of our other dishes that they don't fit very well when other stuff is in there, so we wash them by hand. I'll also often wash by hand if I have just one glass or one spoon or whatever (for instance, I use the same glass every morning for orange juice and most days I use the same coffee mug–I telecommute, so around mid-morning I wash out the coffee mug and fill a travel mug with cold water for the rest of the day). When my wife uses a spoon to feed the feral cat who comes by every night, she puts the spoon in the dishwasher, whereas if I feed the cat I wash the spoon by hand because I feel like the larger spoons we use for the cat food fill up the utensil basket in the dishwasher too quickly.

I do all the laundry in our house except for some things my wife hand-washes. I insist on doing the laundry because she doesn't read care tags (I found one of her tops in the laundry basket when the care tag said "dry clean only") and because I have some things I don't put in the dryer and it would not be easy for anyone other than me to figure out which things those are.

[hbelkins]

Anyone do their dishes by hand?  I do largely because the washer doesn't clean as well as I can by hand.  Aside from that I don't like the accumulation of clutter piling up in a washer just out of sight.

Yes. A dishwasher was installed when my parents built this home. It was rarely used, and I don't even know if it would work now. My mom didn't use it much, my dad didn't use it after she died, and we haven't used it at all since we moved into the house. It's tempting to take it out and use the area for additional cabinet space.

[kphoger]

I do all the laundry in our house except for some things my wife hand-washes. I insist on doing the laundry because she doesn't read care tags (I found one of her tops in the laundry basket when the care tag said "dry clean only") and because I have some things I don't put in the dryer and it would not be easy for anyone other than me to figure out which things those are.

My co-worker puts all of her clothes in the wash, no matter if the tag says "dry clean only" or not.  She reports that, about 75% of the time, there's no problem.  Her understanding is that, if the clothes get damaged that way, they would have been more trouble than they're worth.

[texaskdog]

I do all the laundry in our house except for some things my wife hand-washes. I insist on doing the laundry because she doesn’t read care tags (I found one of her tops in the laundry basket when the care tag said "dry clean only") and because I have some things I don’t put in the dryer and it would not be easy for anyone other than me to figure out which things those are.

My co-worker puts all of her clothes in the wash, no matter if the tag says "dry clean only" or not.  She reports that, about 75% of the time, there's no problem.  Her understanding is that, if the clothes get damaged that way, they would have been more trouble than they're worth.

I like how she thinks

I have a problem that I have pens in my pockets and i'll check them 3 times but once a year one winds up in there and destroys my shirts.  as of this week I'm washing my shirts separately

[kurumi]

About 1 am last night one of the smoke detectors started chirping.

Often it's a low battery; but we replaced the battery and it's still chirping. Some detectors are fussy about the specific battery and will chirp if they're pissed off, as this one is doing. Or, it could be too old and needs replacing and will continually chirp until you do that. (Home Depot's not open at 1 am.) Some online sources say that detectors might remember an error state, and even after you replace the battery they'll continue chirping (why???) until (are you fucking kidding me) you remove power at the circuit breaker, go to the detector (in the dark; you cut the power), and hold a reset button for 15-20 seconds.

I think the villain in the next John Wick movie should be Smoke Detector Inventor Guy. John doesn't kill him; he keeps him alive (and awake) for a long, long time.