Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!

Started by bessertc, March 20, 2019, 10:16:21 PM

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bessertc

Hey All,

A dear friend of mine will be moderating a meeting consisting of a lot of "big-wigs" from the Michigan DOT and the FHWA Michigan Division office and would like some transportation- or highway-related jokes or other humor as ice-breakers to use here and there throughout the day-long meeting. I was also asked to prepare a list of 10 fun/interesting trivia questions about Michigan's highways, but I've got that covered. I'm a bit stumped, though, on transportation- or highway-related jokes. I'm hoping you guys can help me with that part. Any contributions are welcome!!

Thanks in advance,
Chris

--
Christopher J Bessert
chris.bessert@gmail.com
www.michiganhighways.org
Drive right. Pass Left. Please!


Rick Powell

A man coming from a farmer's market in the U.P. hits a pothole, blows a tire out, and is stranded on the side of the road.
He then says, "I should've bought asparagus."

hotdogPi

You can probably make the story of Colorado's mile marker 419.99 into a paragraph-long joke, especially as it actually exists.
Clinched, minus I-93 (I'm missing a few miles and my file is incorrect)

Traveled, plus US 13, 44, and 50, and several state routes

I will be in Burlington VT for the eclipse.

Mapmikey

Polling often shows that most drivers believe they are above average.  A way to test that is to look at how many drivers are over the median.

abefroman329

When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a driveway!

jeffandnicole

Hope the jokes aren't as salty as the roads.

hbelkins

Might suggest a thread merge with the other one, in which I posted about a band of highway-related folks that calls itself Phil 'n The Potholes.


Government would be tolerable if not for politicians and bureaucrats.

Mr. Matté

Quote from: abefroman329 on March 21, 2019, 09:25:49 AM
When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a driveway!

Or do an audience participation segment and ask the age-old question "Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?"

abefroman329

Quote from: Mr. Matté on March 21, 2019, 01:16:29 PM
Quote from: abefroman329 on March 21, 2019, 09:25:49 AM
When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a driveway!

Or do an audience participation segment and ask the age-old question "Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?"
Or, as Gallagher once pointed out, you have a pair of panties, but just one bra.

kphoger

Quote from: abefroman329 on March 21, 2019, 02:17:32 PM
Or, as Gallagher once pointed out, you have a pair of panties, but just one bra.

Of course, if this were a logical world, it would be the men who rode side-saddle.
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

abefroman329

Quote from: kphoger on March 21, 2019, 02:19:43 PM
Quote from: abefroman329 on March 21, 2019, 02:17:32 PM
Or, as Gallagher once pointed out, you have a pair of panties, but just one bra.

Of course, if this were a logical world, it would be the men who rode side-saddle.
His joke about "why are they cowboys?  Cows are girls and bulls are boys" is stupid, since "cowboy" is just the English translation of the Spanish "vaquero."

nexus73

"Why did the chicken cross the road?" jokes should have some usable material.

Now to see what kind of punchlines we can come up with...

"Because the chicken had the right permit!".

Rick
US 101 is THE backbone of the Pacific coast from Bandon OR to Willits CA.  Industry, tourism and local traffic would be gone or severely crippled without it being in functioning condition in BOTH states.

cbeach40

and waterrrrrrr!

skluth




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