Hey, all you good folks, it's I-680 up here in NorCal. Not doing too badly, considering that all my neighbors dump all their traffic onto me! Take my work buddy CA 24 -- ever since they denied him that promotion that would have taken him out to Pittsburg, just about every bit of work he does winds up on one of my on-ramps! Sure, I can pass some of it on to that new kid, CA 242 (he's actually related to CA 24, but you wouldn't know it from looking at him!), but I still have to do a lot of grunt work before I can wave it goodbye. And my sister, I-580, who works for the same company, ends up dumping all her San Jose traffic on me, even though it has to backtrack and take this little piss-ant loop ramp to get to me! But that's all right, I'm tough enough to take all the crap that gets loaded onto me! After all, I'm 71 miles long, bigger than most of my 3di brethren. Being that long (and lean, if I don't mind saying so myself!) I've gotta expect to attract a lot more trouble than most of my family and friends.
And my landlords DID give me a nice, big new bridge just recently. And they had the good sense to relocate the toll booth before the new bridge instead of where it was with the old one -- right smack at the north end! Now I don't have traffic backing up onto my new toy! But I still have issues with my ends -- both of them! Down in San Jose, I really don't end (although every boss I've had thinks that I do!); I just pass about 70% of my traffic onto my brother, I-280. Both of us used to have "END" signs at US 101, where all this happens, but they seem to disappear as soon as the landlord puts them up. Frankly, once the burden's off me, I don't give a rat's ass where it goes! Now let's get to the north end. My little sister, I-780, got my old room in Vallejo; that was rather sparsely furnished, with a really dinky cloverleaf connecting to my dad's (I-80's) "man-cave", but my new room, which I got when they kicked that pesky CA 21 tenant out back in '74, is even worse. It's really skinny, only 4 lanes total, and connects to my dad's room by this crappy old trumpet. They're supposed to fix this problem, but they're not changing much except for adding a lane here and there -- all my dad's money went into a new set of truck scales east of that damn trumpet. He does like his toys -- he partied for a year or two after he got that new "Zampa" bridge over the Carquinez (why they called it that is beyond me; if it were "Zappa", I could understand it, but whatever....it isn't my business!). We'll just have to see what that trumpet looks like when -- and if -- the dust settles. Oh, here's my dad now; he's got a question:
I-80 here. Tell me, where do I end? The state says I go all the way to US 101, but the Feds think I end where the Bay Bridge touches down in S.F. I got signs saying I'm on the Skyway, but nobody gives me any money to touch up that thing, and it's a hell of lot older than I am, must be pushing 70! And don't get me started on my son, 280 -- I never get to see him anymore. Every time someone in the city gets a bug up their ass, they tear off a piece of him. And they won't even put up decent overhead trailblazer signs on 101 saying to use it to get from him to me and vice-versa! It's like they're ashamed of us or something! I feel like the Marxist peasant in "Holy Grail": "Help, Help, I'm being repressed!" I'm just a poor parent who wants to have at least some contact with his kid, even it's just through signs! Will someone help me......please?
