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Dad joke

Started by kphoger, February 17, 2021, 01:44:20 PM

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Big John

^^ Or "bucks" when they playing the baseball team in Pittsburgh.


SSOWorld

Quote from: kphoger on February 18, 2021, 05:12:53 PM
Quote from: webny99 on February 18, 2021, 05:11:09 PM
Joseph Robinette Biden Junior is the President's name, too.

My son goes by William.  Not Billy or Will or whatever.  William.

Is that a problem?
Not Wm?
Scott O.

Not all who wander are lost...
Ah, the open skies, wind at my back, warm sun on my... wait, where the hell am I?!
As a matter of fact, I do own the road.
Raise your what?

Wisconsin - out-multiplexing your state since 1918.

SSOWorld

Scott O.

Not all who wander are lost...
Ah, the open skies, wind at my back, warm sun on my... wait, where the hell am I?!
As a matter of fact, I do own the road.
Raise your what?

Wisconsin - out-multiplexing your state since 1918.

webny99

Quote from: kphoger on February 18, 2021, 05:12:53 PM
My son goes by William.  Not Billy or Will or whatever.  William.

Is that a problem?

No. That's a perfectly normal name. "Buccaneers" isn't, and sounds weird to me, but others can disagree.

Scott5114

Quote from: formulanone on February 17, 2021, 04:54:09 PM
As long as it's a road forum...



That reminds me of the one time I caused a ruckus at work by saying to the outgoing cashiers as I was getting set up "Be careful going home, the roads are bad."

"What? Really? Did something happen?"

"No, we live in Oklahoma and they're always bad."

Never have I seen a bunch of 60-year-old women look like they wanted to hit me so badly.
uncontrollable freak sardine salad chef

bulldog1979

Remember, telling Dad jokes when you don't have children is a faux pa.

snowc

Quote from: webny99 on February 18, 2021, 06:05:28 PM
Quote from: kphoger on February 18, 2021, 05:12:53 PM
My son goes by William.  Not Billy or Will or whatever.  William.

Is that a problem?

No. That's a perfectly normal name. "Buccaneers" isn't, and sounds weird to me, but others can disagree.
Lets not go there. May I remind you of couple weeks ago?

1995hoo

Quote from: kphoger on February 18, 2021, 05:12:53 PM
Quote from: webny99 on February 18, 2021, 05:11:09 PM
Joseph Robinette Biden Junior is the President's name, too.

My son goes by William.  Not Billy or Will or whatever.  William.

Is that a problem?

I once encountered a guy whose name was Jim T. Norman III. Not James. Jim. The part I found particularly amusing was "III," as it presumably meant there were three people in that family for whom "Jim" was their full first name, rather than a nickname.
"You know, you never have a guaranteed spot until you have a spot guaranteed."
—Olaf Kolzig, as quoted in the Washington Times on March 28, 2003,
commenting on the Capitals clinching a playoff spot.

"That sounded stupid, didn't it?"
—Kolzig, to the same reporter a few seconds later.

jeffandnicole

Quote from: 1995hoo on February 19, 2021, 09:37:19 AM
Quote from: kphoger on February 18, 2021, 05:12:53 PM
Quote from: webny99 on February 18, 2021, 05:11:09 PM
Joseph Robinette Biden Junior is the President's name, too.

My son goes by William.  Not Billy or Will or whatever.  William.

Is that a problem?

I once encountered a guy whose name was Jim T. Norman III. Not James. Jim. The part I found particularly amusing was "III," as it presumably meant there were three people in that family for whom "Jim" was their full first name, rather than a nickname.

Someone I went to college with: Her birth name was Jenny, not Jennifer.  She still used Jen though, like nearly every other Jennifer out there.

It seems like there are some people I went to school with, who used shortened nicknames then, that have tended to start using their birth name instead as they got older.

hbelkins

Quote from: 1995hoo on February 19, 2021, 09:37:19 AM
Quote from: kphoger on February 18, 2021, 05:12:53 PM
Quote from: webny99 on February 18, 2021, 05:11:09 PM
Joseph Robinette Biden Junior is the President's name, too.

My son goes by William.  Not Billy or Will or whatever.  William.

Is that a problem?

I once encountered a guy whose name was Jim T. Norman III. Not James. Jim. The part I found particularly amusing was "III," as it presumably meant there were three people in that family for whom "Jim" was their full first name, rather than a nickname.

My dad's name was Billy. Not William. He had a sister named Betty and a brother named Bobby.


Government would be tolerable if not for politicians and bureaucrats.

SSOWorld

Scott O.

Not all who wander are lost...
Ah, the open skies, wind at my back, warm sun on my... wait, where the hell am I?!
As a matter of fact, I do own the road.
Raise your what?

Wisconsin - out-multiplexing your state since 1918.

TheGrassGuy

Quote from: hbelkins on February 19, 2021, 10:35:40 PM
Quote from: 1995hoo on February 19, 2021, 09:37:19 AM
Quote from: kphoger on February 18, 2021, 05:12:53 PM
Quote from: webny99 on February 18, 2021, 05:11:09 PM
Joseph Robinette Biden Junior is the President's name, too.

My son goes by William.  Not Billy or Will or whatever.  William.

Is that a problem?

I once encountered a guy whose name was Jim T. Norman III. Not James. Jim. The part I found particularly amusing was "III," as it presumably meant there were three people in that family for whom "Jim" was their full first name, rather than a nickname.

My dad's name was Billy. Not William. He had a sister named Betty and a brother named Bobby.

The founder of Wikipedia's name is Jimmy Wales, and it's not an abbreviation for James or anything. Everyone calls him Jimbo.
If you ever feel useless, remember that CR 504 exists.

GenExpwy

Quote from: TheGrassGuy on February 20, 2021, 01:56:29 PM
Quote from: hbelkins on February 19, 2021, 10:35:40 PM
Quote from: 1995hoo on February 19, 2021, 09:37:19 AM
Quote from: kphoger on February 18, 2021, 05:12:53 PM
Quote from: webny99 on February 18, 2021, 05:11:09 PM
Joseph Robinette Biden Junior is the President's name, too.

My son goes by William.  Not Billy or Will or whatever.  William.

Is that a problem?

I once encountered a guy whose name was Jim T. Norman III. Not James. Jim. The part I found particularly amusing was "III," as it presumably meant there were three people in that family for whom "Jim" was their full first name, rather than a nickname.

My dad's name was Billy. Not William. He had a sister named Betty and a brother named Bobby.

The founder of Wikipedia's name is Jimmy Wales, and it's not an abbreviation for James or anything. Everyone calls him Jimbo.

And don't confuse Jimmy Dean for James Dean, as David Essex seemed to do in the song "Rock On" .

tolbs17

I don't want to make one because it will make all of you laugh too hard and I've been plenty of them. So sorry.

The best i would put is,

Oh, i threw your wallet in the pool. I'M JUST KIDDING!!!! HAHAHAHAHA  :-D

OracleUsr

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye-deer

What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs?
STILL no eye-deer

Anti-center-tabbing, anti-sequential-numbering, anti-Clearview BGS FAN

interstatefan990

Me: How much to buy a singing ensemble?

Producer: You mean a choir?

Me: Fine, how much to acquire a singing ensemble?
Multi-lane roundabouts are an abomination to mankind.

OCGuy81

Two peanuts walk out of a bar.

On was "a salted"  

JayhawkCO

Why did the couple go to the seafood restaurant?
Just for the halibut.

A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says "I'm looking for the guy who shot my pa."

Chris

SSOWorld

A guy walks into a bar carrying a slab of concrete.

He demands a beer, and one for the road.
Scott O.

Not all who wander are lost...
Ah, the open skies, wind at my back, warm sun on my... wait, where the hell am I?!
As a matter of fact, I do own the road.
Raise your what?

Wisconsin - out-multiplexing your state since 1918.

STLmapboy

My dad's perennial favorite:
How do you catch a unique bird?
You 'nique up on it!

Another one I used at Halloween a few years back:
Why did Bud's parents send him to school?
To make Budweiser.
Teenage STL area roadgeek.
Missouri>>>>>Illinois

Scott5114

Quote from: STLmapboy on February 25, 2021, 12:16:30 AM
My dad's perennial favorite:
How do you catch a unique bird?
You 'nique up on it!

How you catch a tame bird?
Tame way.
uncontrollable freak sardine salad chef

kphoger

Quote from: OracleUsr on February 23, 2021, 12:16:26 AM
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye-deer

What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs?
STILL no eye-deer

I liked this one enough to tell it to my wife last night.  She said it was TERRIBLE.   :rolleyes:
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

webny99

Quote from: kphoger on February 25, 2021, 09:53:57 AM
Quote from: OracleUsr on February 23, 2021, 12:16:26 AM
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye-deer

What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs?
STILL no eye-deer

I liked this one enough to tell it to my wife last night.  She said it was TERRIBLE.   :rolleyes:

Well, that makes it a great dad joke then, right?

The funny thing about this one is that "eye-deer" actually is how idea is pronounced in some places, including Australia and possibly elsewhere.

tchafe1978

I was fighting with my daughter one day over doing her chores. She says to me, "Dad, have some patience!" I say back, "I'm not a doctor, I don't have any patients!"

interstatefan990

Quote from: webny99 on February 25, 2021, 09:59:06 AM
The funny thing about this one is that "eye-deer" actually is how idea is pronounced in some places, including Australia and possibly elsewhere.

My old social studies teacher used to always say idea like that. He also pronounced "George Washington" like "George Warshington".
Multi-lane roundabouts are an abomination to mankind.



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