The universe according to MMM

[kphoger]

Then again, it's just as likely to be the alternate universe in which alternate-you bases his actions toward real-you on the current color of the LED color-changing Elvis wall clock he bought on Amazon one night while he was stoned out of his mind.

It was replacement smoke detectors for every room in the house, actually. (That's what I get for watching Technology Connections while I'm high, I guess.)

Wrong universe, bub.

[kirbykart]

Nope!

474, bypass of Peoria IL?

[TheHighwayMan3561]

Nope!

474, bypass of Peoria IL?

666, 420, 999?

[triplemultiplex]

There's no way MMM likes 420.  I can tell he's an 'upper' kind of person.

[MultiMillionMiler]

There's no way MMM likes 420.  I can tell he's an 'upper' kind of person.

420 was the height of the top thrill dragster rollercoaster.

When Scott suggested 997 and 1002, I liked both those numbers, 997 being the largest 3 digit prime number, and 1002 looking more realistic because it's slightly over 1000 but not exactly 1000. The only thing with a 3 digit number is that I'd lose my expressway tag

[cockroachking]

The only thing with a 3 digit number is that I'd lose my expressway tag

I was whining about 2 lane total roads, not 2 lanes each direction, although ideally, all interstate standard roads should be 3 lanes each direction. Don't tell me there's actual roads that are just 1 lane total and the two cars have to negotiate around each other...

Hold on to your hat, MMM, but that's exactly what Max is saying.  1 lane total.  If you meet another car, one car backs up until you get to a wide spot where you can pass.

No, no, NO!

Please tell me he's joking...

Also, no, I have never driven any gravel/dirt roads.

Something tells me "Dirt Road" would be a better fit. 

[MultiMillionMiler]

4. Further helicopter specifications include:

    EM cable capable of lifting 100,000 pounds
    Triple-Redundant Laser targeting system for aiming  the
    grappling hooks.
    All cables will have anti-swivel lock mechanisms to stop the truck from spinning around in the air as they haul it away, once it's in the desired position.
    Helicopter top speed of 100 mph while truck towing, and 300 mph when not towing.

I would like to point out that there appears to have been no consideration given to the trailer behind the truck. Sure, an EM could grab the roof of the cab, but what about the load it's pulling? Dangling a trailer in mid-air, held up only by the fifth wheel connection, seems like a concern.

However, if done properly, one EM could grab the cab, and another grab the trailer. Assuming each is attached to a different point on the chopper, this would eliminate the need for the absolutely ridiculous anti-swivel lock mechanism. [/sarc]

No, the EM cable would latch onto the trailer part, preferably as close to the center as possible. For a really long truck, like one of those Uhauls with 3 trailers, 2 helicopters may be used to better evenly distribute the weight and prevent it from spinning around in the air.

[kirbykart]

^Not if the tornado lifts his car over it to the nearest paved road.

[Max Rockatansky]

Tornados are nature's grapple hooks.

[kphoger]

Not if the tornado lifts his car over it to the nearest paved road.

I think this is needed.

[kirbykart]

Not if the tornado lifts his car over it to the nearest paved road.

I think this is needed.

We could use tornadoes to lift runaway trucks off of the road and drop them down in Souky on Victoria Island.

[Max Rockatansky]

Not if the tornado lifts his car over it to the nearest paved road.

I think this is needed.

We could use tornadoes to lift runaway trucks off of the road and drop them down in Souky on Victoria Island.

To keep Sault Sainte John Madden company?

[kirbykart]

Not if the tornado lifts his car over it to the nearest paved road.

I think this is needed.

We could use tornadoes to lift runaway trucks off of the road and drop them down in Souky on Victoria Island.

To keep John Madden company?

Well, it's complicated. John Madden (actually John Madden) lives in Uiwilauegtbiwubf-du-Ha!-Ha!, while Sault Sainte John Madden (Poiponen's crush) lives in Souky. So they would only keep John Madden company, not John Madden.

[adventurernumber1]

Tornadoes might actually be the best way to stop runaway trucks. Since tornadoes have been known to lift objects safely and put them down gently, a tornado could lift up a runaway truck before it is too far gone, then set it back down on the road further downhill past the point where the grade is steep enough for runaway trucks to be a concern. This would likely be a better solution than helicopters, because neither human manpower nor fuel would be necessary, as the tornado alone would be sufficient for the task. With what we know about tornadoes and how they pick up objects, a tornado might actually be even more gentle with the truck than a helicopter would, minimizing the risk of damage and injury. How exactly to get these tornadoes where they need to be and when, that task will have to be left to a designated person which will be employed with an annual salary of no less than $1.4 million. I think John Madden would be a good person for the job. Either him, or John Madden.

[MultiMillionMiler]

4. Further helicopter specifications include:

    EM cable capable of lifting 100,000 pounds
    Triple-Redundant Laser targeting system for aiming  the
    grappling hooks.
    All cables will have anti-swivel lock mechanisms to stop the truck from spinning around in the air as they haul it away, once it's in the desired position.
    Helicopter top speed of 100 mph while truck towing, and 300 mph when not towing.

I would like to point out that there appears to have been no consideration given to the trailer behind the truck. Sure, an EM could grab the roof of the cab, but what about the load it's pulling? Dangling a trailer in mid-air, held up only by the fifth wheel connection, seems like a concern.

However, if done properly, one EM could grab the cab, and another grab the trailer. Assuming each is attached to a different point on the chopper, this would eliminate the need for the absolutely ridiculous anti-swivel lock mechanism. [/sarc]

No, the EM cable would latch onto the trailer part, preferably as close to the center as possible. For a really long truck, like one of those Uhauls with 3 trailers, 2 helicopters may be used to better evenly distribute the weight and prevent it from spinning around in the air.

And just something to add. If it ends up that the long trailer section can't be saved because it's too heavy to lift, the helicopter would resort to saving the cab section with the driver. A sniper would be riding along in the chopper and if this situation arises, he would position himself half way out like they do in those military operations, and right as the heli is pacing alongside the truck in the right position, he would attempt to takeout the cables connecting it to the trailer, so that the cab along with the driver could be lifted off the road. And if it's safe for the trailer to crash, the sniper could also take out the tires so it skids off into the mountain side instead of slamming into other cars.

[dlsterner]

Well MMM, there you go.  Instead of investing in a complicated helicopter/grappling hook system, just create a weather generator to spawn a tornado to lift the runaway truck out of danger and land it safely out of harms way.  After all, it worked back in 1939 for Dorothy and Toto.  (OK, so in their case when landing they killed the local witch who was merely standing in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Technology advances since then can prevent that from happening again).

[kphoger]

I need to pay better attention at the beginning of movies.  I didn't realize until now that the tornado in that movie was spawned by a weather generator.

[Max Rockatansky]

I need to pay better attention at the beginning of movies.  I didn't realize until now that the tornado in that movie was spawned by a weather generator.

It's a read-between the lines kind of thing.  It was more apparent in Return to Oz that there was some cutting edge technology being experimented with in rural Kansas. 

Well MMM, there you go.  Instead of investing in a complicated helicopter/grappling hook system, just create a weather generator to spawn a tornado to lift the runaway truck out of danger and land it safely out of harms way.  After all, it worked back in 1939 for Dorothy and Toto.  (OK, so in their case when landing they killed the local witch who was merely standing in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Technology advances since then can prevent that from happening again).

Or, the weather generator was programmed to target the Wicked Witch of the East?  It's not like the long guns the Munchkins had were doing any good.  Might as well try something more extreme to bump off a bad witch.  Then again, the tornado could have been dispatched with Sault Sainte John Madden on board instead of Dorthy. 

[MultiMillionMiler]

I'm wondering if this helicopter idea could be applied to aircraft in distress as well? A swarm of helicopters safely guiding an out of control plane (which may be easier since it's already in the air). In fact, a swarm a these helicopters should follow every ocean-crossing flight, because however small the risk, I don't want a chance of crash-landing in the freezing cold shark infested saltwater when I can't really swim. If anything goes wrong with the engines for example, enough helicopters may be able to latch onto the plane and hold it in the air, transporting it to safe ground. Speaking of flights, it would probably be a good idea for a coastguard ship to patrol the common routes airlines take over oceans just to ensure that if the .001% chance something does go wrong, passengers wouldn't be stuck floating in a life raft for days. I was focusing all this design effort on trucks, without even realize this could improve aviation safety as well. A yet simpler option instead of combining swarms of helicopters with rescue ships in the water, maybe all international flights should be required to be flown with a secondary, duplicate plane that's empty, with just a pilot, flying next to it, so that in the event of an emergency, passengers and crew could transfer over to the other plane (helicopters could still try to grapple-hook the malfunctioning plane to prevent it from causing damage on the ground from crashing though).

[GaryV]

Do you even stop to listen to yourself before posting this crap?

[MultiMillionMiler]

Do you even stop to listen to yourself before posting this crap?

What "crap"??  If it's potentially easier than the runaway truck plan since all objects involved are already airborne, how does it not improve aviation safety?

[roadman65]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmycxBo_CjU

[MultiMillionMiler]

I'm not thinking in movie magic style. Similar to the accordion type walkways that connect the airport gate to the aircraft. One could be designed to connect to another plane that flying next to it at the exact same altitude and speed, so the walkway could connect to the other plane entrance. Think of it this way, each long intercontinental flight would be paralleled by one identical empty plane to the left, and a small swarm of maybe 40-50 helicopters to the right. The cost of this would not increase passenger flight fares, as it would come off the military budget (after all these are military grade helicopters).

[J N Winkler]

What "crap"??  If it's potentially easier than the runaway truck plan since all objects involved are already airborne, how does it not improve aviation safety?

For starters, the helicopters wouldn't be able to keep up.  Most helicopters have a forward speed of 160 MPH and 250 MPH is pushing it.  A jet airliner at cruising altitude typically moves at about 580 MPH.

In theory, a plane that loses power over the ocean can glide to the surface and float, and seat cushions are also flotation devices.  In practice, the sorts of problems that end flights over the ocean tend also to preclude glider landings.

This is quite aside from the fact that any use of grappling hooks with a plane would destroy it, simply because of how the skin and reinforcing structures are constructed.

[Scott5114]

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.