QuoteIt's a good thing the dam bridge is getting built! Now we need to get that dam bypass open so we won't have so many dam security concerns!
Where can I get some dam bait so I can fish off the dam dam? :-D
dam it guys - leave the dam thing alone :happy:
I'm gonna close this dam thread if you keep making these dam jokes!
Quote from: AlpsROADS on September 13, 2009, 12:35:22 PM
I'm gonna close this dam thread if you keep making these dam jokes!
Frankly my dear, I don't give a dam! :sombrero:
Shouldn't that be damn :pan:
Quote from: Truvelo on September 13, 2009, 04:21:49 PM
Shouldn't that be damn :pan:
You missed the "dam" point! :banghead:
(homonyms) :sombrero:
As I stated previously it's a dam security issue. :pan:
Dam.
SERIOUS: OK, enough with the damn puns. :eyebrow: let's get back on topic or the thread will be closed.
Quote from: Master son on September 14, 2009, 02:57:22 PM
SERIOUS: OK, enough with the damn puns. :eyebrow: let's get back on topic or the thread will be closed.
dam you!
We'll try our dam-dest to get back on topic. LOL :sombrero:
Welcome everyone. I am your dam guide, Arnie. Now I'm about to take you through a fully funtional power plant, so please, no one wander off the dam tour and please take all the dam pictures you want. Now are there any dam questions?
^^ Well, I have a question, dam it.
Quote from: agentsteel53dam you!
:-D
Be well,
Bryant
Dam it Jim, I'm a doctor, not a construction worker!
It should be more like: Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a road geek!! :)
Quote from: flaroadgeek on September 16, 2009, 11:59:45 PM
It should be more like: Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a road geek!! :)
Or more like: Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a hydrological engineer! :biggrin:
And for once, it's not me providing the one-liners... :happy:
Quote from: DamTheMan414 on September 17, 2009, 01:05:05 AM
And for once, it's not me providing the one-liners... :happy:
FIXED!!! :happy:
Quote from: rawmustard on September 17, 2009, 12:07:02 AM
Quote from: flaroadgeek on September 16, 2009, 11:59:45 PM
It should be more like: Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a road geek!! :)
Or more like: Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a hydrological engineer! :biggrin:
Dammit Bones, just fix the dam dam and stop complaining! :angry:
I remember one time in eight grade my tech teacher was going to be out one class, so we were going to watch a video on dams with the sub and answer question. We also had homework. It was explained like this: "On Friday, watch the dam video, complete the dam problems, and do your dam homework!"
If I owned a dam and decided to donate it to charity, would I be giving a dam? I'm sure that might be a first because no one really gives a dam.
Dam this rain in Georgia!
Be well,
Bryant
Quote from: Bryant5493 on September 22, 2009, 04:36:08 PM
Dam this rain in Georgia!
Be well,
Bryant
Dam this rain in Tennessee.
Dam the lightning that fried my cable modem, my phone modem, two network switches, a satellite receiver, my satellite LNB, my Playstation 3, an HDMI switchbox and made me stay home waiting on repairmen.
Here's hoping for an end to the horrendous weather you've been experienced recently, very soon.
Having said that, I think this thread has outlived its usefulness...and is ready to be locked.
Quote from: DanTheMan414 on September 23, 2009, 01:02:47 AMHaving said that, I think this thread has outlived its usefulness...and is ready to be locked.
Dam!
I have to admit though, most of the posts in this topic were dam funny.
^^ You're dam right they were/are. :-D
Be well,
Bryant
Dam it, there's no reason to lock this thread. It will die out when it's dam good and ready.
^^ Dam straight.
Be well,
Bryant
I hadn't expected this dam thread to make it to two dam pages, but there it is.
I'll be damed.
Please don't shut down the dam thread!!!!
Don't worry nobody's doing a dam thing with it. :sombrero:
and I mean NOBODY! :eyebrow:
From the famous Abbott and Costello routine, "Who's on First"
Quote
I don't give a dam!
Well, he's our shortstop! :sombrero: :-D :) :biggrin:
Oconomowoc on, then... :sombrero:
Here's a few I came up with while driving home last night.
#1
Engineer 1: You built that dam without any bends?
Engineer 2: Dam straight!
#2
Q. Where do engineers go to learn about building dams?
A. Dam U.
#3
Q. What do you call elected officials who attend the groundbreaking or dedication ceremonies for a dam?
A. Dam politicians.
#4
Q. Who do NIMBYs hire to keep a dam from being built?
A. Dam lawyers.
#5
Q. What do you call a country that specializes in building dams?
A. A dam nation.
#6
Q. What do you call how old a dam is?
A. Dam age.
to be continued... :rofl:
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
"Dam!"
Let me try that again...
Waukesha on, then. :sombrero:
Quote from: DanTheMan414 on September 25, 2009, 06:43:56 PM
Let me try that again...
Waukesha on, then. :sombrero:
FAIL :-D
dam I forgot what I was gonna say.
This thread is beginning to get dam boring.
Water you thinking? :sombrero:
Quote from: DanTheMan414 on October 03, 2009, 03:12:23 AM
Water you thinking? :sombrero:
Since you brought up Waukesha, it sounds like you're considering Lokken it :P
Yeah, I guess this thread might be all wet. :P
Stop straying from dam jokes. This is the dam thread, not the "Lokken it" thread. Dam that conversation.
Quote from: yanksfan6129 on October 03, 2009, 10:13:43 PM
Stop straying from dam jokes. This is the dam thread, not the "Lokken it" thread. Dam that conversation.
Careful, that might earn you a "Dam you" from dam DanTheMan414. :nod:
There, that should get us back on the dam subject.
:ded:
Quote from: DanTheMan404 on October 03, 2009, 10:55:55 PM
Great Scott! It's all water under the bridge, Scott...this thread, that is. :sombrero:
But, over the dam!! :sombrero:
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
"Dam"
What did the wall say?
"Dumb-bass"
:-D
Ah, the MightyJoker and Silly Matt... :rolleyes:
It is henceforth required that each post shall require the word "dam" in it.
No more non dam posts.
Quote from: DanTheMan414 on October 04, 2009, 07:42:07 PM
Ah, the MightyJoker and Silly Matt... :rolleyes:
My science teacher actually told my class that dam joke :-D
happy scott?
BigMatt
Overruled, Scott.
Waterfall, waterfall. </Lawrence Welk> :p
I don't believe you have the power to overrule me, considering you're just a dam moderator yourself, like me.
This thread's still a wash, Scott. :p
I'm starting to get pissed, dam it.
If this was a thread about canals, it'd be a lock. :sombrero:
Where's the dam dam thread?
Yeah, I'm with you there, David. :nod:
Quote from: algorerhythms on October 04, 2009, 11:44:48 PM
Where's the dam dam thread?
Is that what the "Little Caesar's Guy" would say if he built dams? ("Dam Dam")
He'd say "Where's the dam dam "dam dam" thread? Pizza pizza."
No, he thought this was the Flintstones, and wondered where the Bam-Bam thread was. Pan-pan! :p
Quote from: DanTheMan414 on October 05, 2009, 09:20:40 PM
No, he thought this was the Flintstones, and wondered where the Bam-Bam thread was. Pan-pan! :p
:pan: :pan: :pan: :pan:
Like I said, this thread is getting MightyLamer. :rolleyes:
Quote from: DanTheMan414 on October 05, 2009, 09:34:08 PM
Like I said, this thread is getting MightyLamer. :rolleyes:
I believe we have you, Daniel, to thank for the greatest dam lameness contributed to this dam thread.
:-D
:thumbdown:
This is turning into the "Dan jokes" thread! Dam it!
Quote from: AlpsROADS on October 05, 2009, 10:29:10 PM
This is turning into the "Dan jokes" thread! Dam it!
I think you're all dam'd :-P
Quote from: AlpsROADS on October 05, 2009, 10:29:10 PM
This is turning into the "Dan jokes" thread! Dan it!
Mission accomplished. :clap:
Quote from: DanTheMan414 on October 05, 2009, 10:45:10 PM
Mission accomplished. :clap:
Fine! Where's your banner? :sombrero:
It got cut out of the budget this year. :p
Quote from: DanTheMan414 on October 05, 2009, 10:53:12 PM
It got cut out of the budget this year. :p
Now, you go right now and get that dam banner back in the dam budget or I'll open the floodgates of the dam! :ninja:
Mightyface it...eh, never mind. :p
Dam straight. I'm dammed proud that this thread has recovered.
Quote from: AlpsROADS on October 05, 2009, 11:33:51 PM
Dam straight. I'm dammed proud that this thread has recovered.
Yeah, David (US71), I'm not sure what we're going to do with these members and moderators who keep spouting these profanities. :p
I don't see any dam profanities - what are you talking about?
Quote from: Master son on October 06, 2009, 12:23:11 AM
I don't see any dam profanities - what are you talking about?
:banghead:
Quote from: US71 on October 06, 2009, 09:38:33 AM
Quote from: Master son on October 06, 2009, 12:23:11 AM
I don't see any dam profanities - what are you talking about?
:banghead:
Quit hitting your head on the dam wall. :)
Quote from: algorerhythms on October 06, 2009, 11:19:43 AM
Quote from: US71 on October 06, 2009, 09:38:33 AM
Quote from: Master son on October 06, 2009, 12:23:11 AM
I don't see any dam profanities - what are you talking about?
:banghead:
Quit hitting your head on the dam wall. :)
Do that hard enough and you'll break the dam dam and all the dam water will flood the dam town. :)
Quote from: myosh_tino on October 06, 2009, 05:28:05 PM
Do that hard enough and you'll break the dam dam and all the dam water will flood the dam town. :)
Once there was a silly ol' ram
Tried to punch a hole in a dam
Nothing could make that ram, scram
He kept butting that dam :-D
Quote from: US71 on October 06, 2009, 06:13:07 PM
Quote from: myosh_tino on October 06, 2009, 05:28:05 PM
Do that hard enough and you'll break the dam dam and all the dam water will flood the dam town. :)
Once there was a silly ol' ram
Tried to punch a hole in a dam
Nothing could make that ram, scram
He kept butting that dam
:-D
Dam ramns :cool:
Quote from: njroadhorse on October 06, 2009, 06:21:56 PM
Quote from: US71 on October 06, 2009, 06:13:07 PM
Quote from: myosh_tino on October 06, 2009, 05:28:05 PM
Do that hard enough and you'll break the dam dam and all the dam water will flood the dam town. :)
Once there was a silly ol' ram
Tried to punch a hole in a dam
Nothing could make that ram, scram
He kept butting that dam
:-D
Dam ramns :cool:
Well, he had high hopes :)
Quote from: US71 on October 06, 2009, 06:36:32 PM
Quote from: njroadhorse on October 06, 2009, 06:21:56 PM
Quote from: US71 on October 06, 2009, 06:13:07 PM
Quote from: myosh_tino on October 06, 2009, 05:28:05 PM
Do that hard enough and you'll break the dam dam and all the dam water will flood the dam town. :)
Once there was a silly ol' ram
Tried to punch a hole in a dam
Nothing could make that ram, scram
He kept butting that dam
:-D
Dam ramns :cool:
Well, he had high hopes :)
Higher than the dam i just built?
BigMatt
Quote from: BigMatt on October 06, 2009, 07:41:22 PM
Quote from: US71 on October 06, 2009, 06:36:32 PM
Quote from: njroadhorse on October 06, 2009, 06:21:56 PM
Quote from: US71 on October 06, 2009, 06:13:07 PM
Quote from: myosh_tino on October 06, 2009, 05:28:05 PM
Do that hard enough and you'll break the dam dam and all the dam water will flood the dam town. :)
Once there was a silly ol' ram
Tried to punch a hole in a dam
Nothing could make that ram, scram
He kept butting that dam
:-D
Dam ramns :cool:
Well, he had high hopes :)
Higher than the dam i just built?
BigMatt
If it is, I'll just call in John Claude VanDam!
Dam
This is why roadgeeks will never make it in the comedy circuit.
Scott N.: Lokken Roll! :sombrero:
Dam Dan.
Quote from: DanTheMan414 on October 06, 2009, 10:09:48 PM
This is why roadgeeks will never make it in the comedy circuit.
Scott N.: Lokken Roll! :sombrero:
You are the best dam example. :-D
Only Dan can manage to go off topic on an OT discussion. Don't it make you wanna think, "Dam." (get the reference?)
Quote from: AlpsROADS on October 07, 2009, 05:36:52 PM
Only Dan can manage to go off topic on an OT discussion. Don't it make you wanna think, "Dam." (get the reference?)
Careful you don't make any dyslexics mad :verymad: ;)
Quote from: DanTheMan414 on October 06, 2009, 10:09:48 PM
Scott N.: Lokken Roll! :sombrero:
:poke: You mean Lokken Dam, right?
Quote from: AlpsROADS on October 07, 2009, 05:36:52 PM
Only Dan can manage to go off topic on an OT discussion. Don't it make you wanna think, "Dam." (get the reference?)
That's just because Dan is pissed about this thread for some reason. He should just build a dam and a get over it.
Well then dam Dan can't get over it because there's a dam dam blocking it :D
No, it would be dam like the Hoover dam with a road over it. So there. (of course, they're building a dam bypass but currently, you drive over the dam as though it is a bridge).
Quote from: Chris petite on October 09, 2009, 09:00:45 PM
Well then dam Dan can't get over it because there's a dam dam blocking it :D
Don't make US71 get the soap out. :p
Quote from: yanksfan6129 on October 09, 2009, 10:41:17 PM
No, it would be dam like the Hoover dam with a road over it. So there. (of course, they're building a dam bypass but currently, you drive over the dam as though it is a bridge).
When will they get that dam bypass done? It's taking forever! Dam bypasses don't take this long to build! :banghead: Dam-bound traffic should find a way around the dam!
Late 2010.
Quote from: DanTheMan414 on October 09, 2009, 10:48:53 PM
Quote from: Chris petite on October 09, 2009, 09:00:45 PM
Well then dam Dam can't get over it because there's a dam dam blocking it :D
Don't make US71 get the dam soap. :p
You trying to misquote me? :-P
Yeah Chris, Dan is lame enough to misquote you.
Dan dan dan dam dam dan dan dam dan dam dam dam dan dan dan dam dan dam dan
Dam I forgot to write the dam questions down for the dam trivia :banghead:
Quote from: Chris petite on October 10, 2009, 10:14:03 PM
Dam I forgot to write the dam questions down for the dam trivia :banghead:
Dam you! :pan: :D
Oh dam. I want trivia dam-it!
Quote from: DanTheMan414 on October 09, 2009, 10:48:53 PM
Quote from: Chris petite on October 09, 2009, 09:00:45 PM
Well then dam Dan can't get over it because there's a dam dam blocking it :D
Don't make US71 get the dam soap. :p
You're first :coffee:
(https://www.aaroads.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimagemacros.files.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F06%2Fwin_sector.jpg&hash=97bfb798da2df7465927448eea6c06858601f5bc)
DAM! Looks like we got a good user in Chris Petite
:sombrero: :-D :-P :pan: :rofl:
Quote from: WISFreeways on October 17, 2009, 04:25:25 PM
:sombrero: :-D :-P :pan: :rofl:
Stop with your dam emoticons :-P
PAN-PAN!!! :pan:
Looks like Bud Shuster is coming with twenty-two dam pizzas -- right at Glen Quagmire! :coffee:
BTW, who will be hosting the dam trivia?
I think it's worth noting that this thread is the 8th result on Google for "dam jokes" (without quotes)
5th dam result when I searched it.
Similar to this post https://www.aaroads.com/forum/index.php?topic=1633.msg37423#msg37423 (https://www.aaroads.com/forum/index.php?topic=1633.msg37423#msg37423) but not the same is:
From http://www.jokes-news.com/2006/01/18/hoover-dam/ (http://www.jokes-news.com/2006/01/18/hoover-dam/)
QuoteThe tour guide at the Hoover Dam began the tour by saying, "I am your dam guide...
After this dam tour, please don't ask me any dam questions. Furthermore, you are not allowed to take any dam pictures. If you do I will confiscate your dam cameras and I know that you won't be dam happy."
Quote from: corco on October 18, 2009, 11:25:08 PM
I think it's worth noting that this thread is the 8th result on Google for "dam jokes" (without quotes)
meanwhile the shield gallery is relatively unindexed. I've made copious amounts of ALT, TITLE, and META tags, and yet searches like this still take happen:
http://www.google.com/#hl=en&safe=off&q=interstate+95+site%3Ashields.aaroads.com&aq=0p&aqi=g-p3g7&oq=inter&fp=2755c6b3e9b2e9 (http://www.google.com/#hl=en&safe=off&q=interstate+95+site%3Ashields.aaroads.com&aq=0p&aqi=g-p3g7&oq=inter&fp=2755c6b3e9b2e9)
look at the third hit! there are hundreds of pages that say "interstate 95", clear as day, yet google here chose to mash up the word "interstate highways" in the breadcrumb (which is actually impossible to get in that US-12 picture unless one manually munges the URL) and a random reference to US-95.
Quote from: agentsteel53 on October 19, 2009, 11:18:12 AM
Quote from: corco on October 18, 2009, 11:25:08 PM
I think it's worth noting that this thread is the 8th result on Google for "dam jokes" (without quotes)
meanwhile the shield gallery is relatively unindexed. I've made copious amounts of ALT, TITLE, and META tags, and yet searches like this still take happen:
http://www.google.com/#hl=en&safe=off&q=interstate+95+site%3Ashields.aaroads.com&aq=0p&aqi=g-p3g7&oq=inter&fp=2755c6b3e9b2e9 (http://www.google.com/#hl=en&safe=off&q=interstate+95+site%3Ashields.aaroads.com&aq=0p&aqi=g-p3g7&oq=inter&fp=2755c6b3e9b2e9)
look at the third hit! there are hundreds of pages that say "interstate 95", clear as day, yet google here chose to mash up the word "interstate highways" in the breadcrumb (which is actually impossible to get in that US-12 picture unless one manually munges the URL) and a random reference to US-95.
dam self-centric posts :P
.. thanks for the useful insight?
Quote from: agentsteel53 on October 19, 2009, 11:18:12 AM
Quote from: corco on October 18, 2009, 11:25:08 PM
I think it's worth noting that this thread is the 8th result on Google for "dam jokes" (without quotes)
meanwhile the shield gallery is relatively unindexed. I've made copious amounts of ALT, TITLE, and META tags, and yet searches like this still take happen:
http://www.google.com/#hl=en&safe=off&q=interstate+95+site%3Ashields.aaroads.com&aq=0p&aqi=g-p3g7&oq=inter&fp=2755c6b3e9b2e9 (http://www.google.com/#hl=en&safe=off&q=interstate+95+site%3Ashields.aaroads.com&aq=0p&aqi=g-p3g7&oq=inter&fp=2755c6b3e9b2e9)
look at the third hit! there are hundreds of pages that say "interstate 95", clear as day, yet google here chose to mash up the word "interstate highways" in the breadcrumb (which is actually impossible to get in that US-12 picture unless one manually munges the URL) and a random reference to US-95.
Dam that dam Google Search engine! :pan:
Quote from: mightyace on October 19, 2009, 05:09:52 PM
Dam that dam Google Search engine! :pan:
*SIGH* :banghead:
Quote from: US71 on October 19, 2009, 06:21:34 PM
Quote from: mightyace on October 19, 2009, 05:09:52 PM
Dam that dam Google Search engine! :pan:
*SIGH* :banghead:
At least it's free dam advertising (but why would somebody advertise a dam?)
We can make it to the top if we keep saying "dam" in our posts. And then we can make to the first result when googling just "dam". And if people won't sign up to our forum because of our dam jokes, then I might just start posting "I am in your dam taking your dam reservoir!"
Or, I could spend several hundred bucks on a new forum all on dam jokes, and then I can link it (using a dam picture of a dam) here, and make it #1 on the search results when googling, or yahooing, or binging, "dam".
But, I don't think people would appreciate a billboard advertising this thread on I-405 in Los Angeles. Why? They'd rename the expressway the "Dam Joke Freeway", start replacing all the exit signs, the replacments would be pictures of dams and would say "Dam Joke Road!", and repaint the freeway so the stretch of road would look like a massive mural about dams. :-D
Then we'd have a bustling forum and a 700 page thread about dam jokes. :sombrero:
wait, I don't see the logical step from making it the #1 google hit to making it the 405 freeway.
I kid you not there is a slot machine in my casino which is entitled... Dam Lumberjack Beavers.
(https://media.igt.com/images/03141.jpg)
You can chalk this one up to the strange, strange people that work at IGT...
Quote from: Scott5114 on October 20, 2009, 04:19:24 AM
I kid you not there is a slot machine in my casino which is entitled... Dam Lumberjack Beavers.
You OWN a casino?!?!? :wow: DAM!!!!!
Regarding the slot machine, I have seen them in both Las Vegas and Reno and yes, I put my dam money in the dam machine and I didn't win a dam thing.
BTW, I love this dam topic. :spin:
Quote from: myosh_tino on October 20, 2009, 02:03:22 PM
Quote from: Scott5114 on October 20, 2009, 04:19:24 AM
I kid you not there is a slot machine in my casino which is entitled... Dam Lumberjack Beavers.
You OWN a casino?!?!? :wow: DAM!!!!!
Hah! If I owned the casino I would definitely not put that dam machine in there. I'm merely the lowly Attendant No. 2912; I fix the dam problems the dam machine develops and maybe do the dam maintenance. If someone hits a dam jackpot I process the dam tax forms and bring them their dam money.
I will now make this the #1 result when you search "dam quetzal religious underthinking."