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Cheesy/Downright awful local ads

Started by CapeCodder, October 28, 2018, 01:09:39 PM

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CapeCodder

Every place has these. When I lived in St. Louis we had some outright horrendous ads.

#1 Midwest Hemorrhoid Treatment Center: The ads are cheesy as hell ("Midwest Hemorrhoid Treatment Center, don't suffer in silence!")

#2 Assorted car dealerships. There's one with assorted "western" noises like bullwhips and cowboy sounds. There's also one for a dealership called Johnny Londoff Chevrolet. The ads have been the same for years. You'd think by owning the building and lot he would have more money to make better ads? Dave Sinclair was just as bad. He would have "editorial" style ads.

#3 Mattress Giant. Need I say anything else?

#4 The Pasta House Company. From what I've heard, they're on their way out.


Brandon

#1
Chicagoland has a fair number, but this one takes the tamale.

Eagleman from Eagle Auto Insurance.  He (yes, he) was an egg laying eagle used in the ads.  https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eagle_Insurance

"If you think this has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention." - Ramsay Bolton

"Symbolic of his struggle against reality." - Reg

1995hoo

Bruce Boudreau did this ad when he was the Capitals' coach:




Now that they've won the Stanley Cup, there's a new ad for a truck starring current goalie Braden Holtby that has a similar theme; I think most of us assume it's a tribute to Boudreau's ad. I can't find it online, though, perhaps because it's currently on TV.


The following from the early 1980s is a legendary DC-area ad. It originally aired in 1983 after the Redskins won Super Bowl XVII. The following season, they went back to the Super Bowl but lost, and if you listen closely you can hear the somewhat sloppy editing job where they removed the words "World Champion."




This one aired for years (without the captions). The singer is Nils Lofgren of E Street Band fame. He even put this recording, minus the two kids at the end, on his boxed set. If you lived around here in the late 1970s/early 1980s, you found this ad to be somewhat ubiquitous on the TV. I have a feeling the PC Police would probably object to the two kids today.




Finally, the following from Baltimore is obviously fake. Warning, lots of profanities–be careful where you decide to watch this. It's a classic, though.

"You know, you never have a guaranteed spot until you have a spot guaranteed."
—Olaf Kolzig, as quoted in the Washington Times on March 28, 2003,
commenting on the Capitals clinching a playoff spot.

"That sounded stupid, didn't it?"
—Kolzig, to the same reporter a few seconds later.

abefroman329

Any list of local DC ads that doesn't include the old Lavar Arrington Eastern Motors ad is incomplete.

1995hoo

Quote from: abefroman329 on October 28, 2018, 01:54:54 PM
Any list of local DC ads that doesn't include the old Lavar Arrington Eastern Motors ad is incomplete.

There are so many cheesy Eastern Motors ads that I couldn't decide among them. I think the cheesiest was this one starring Ovechkin, which was so bad it never aired as a commercial (it did air on TV, just not as a commercial). I like it when he sounds out "SUVs" as a word:


"You know, you never have a guaranteed spot until you have a spot guaranteed."
—Olaf Kolzig, as quoted in the Washington Times on March 28, 2003,
commenting on the Capitals clinching a playoff spot.

"That sounded stupid, didn't it?"
—Kolzig, to the same reporter a few seconds later.

Max Rockatansky

The "More Dams, No Trains"  ads around Fresno are an ever present reminder that people around here hate the current Governor and think there is some great untapped source of water in the Sierras. 

SSOWorld

You will always see a "NO LINE" sign on someone's front yard or by the highway near where a power line is due to go up.

My question - why post these signs.  What makes these schmucks think I care about this?
Scott O.

Not all who wander are lost...
Ah, the open skies, wind at my back, warm sun on my... wait, where the hell am I?!
As a matter of fact, I do own the road.
Raise your what?

Wisconsin - out-multiplexing your state since 1918.

jeffandnicole

#7
Almost any used car ad is usually pretty bad. Many locally-made new car ads are equally bad.


bing101

#8


If you lived in Sacramento or Los Angeles in the 1970's and 1980's Cal Worthington did his tacky ads.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyD0QDImMfM

bing101

#9
If you lived in San Francisco in the 1980's and 1990's there was the cheesy Diamond Center Ads with Paul





https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKYy10n6Ln4


bing101

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWpvFTPC1is
Hi Kids Ads in the Bay Area back in the 1970's and 1980's but the spokesguy in the commercial was allegedly a a fraudster behind the scenes.

OracleUsr

KRAAAAAZY KEVIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN POWELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Anti-center-tabbing, anti-sequential-numbering, anti-Clearview BGS FAN

bing101

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0OzU3xyEgJs

Here is the tackiest ad of this decade and it is the Celino and Barnes ads.

bing101


jp the roadgeek

Long before Bob's Discount Furniture expanded nationwide, you had folksy ads like this in Southern New England.

Interstates I've clinched: 97, 290 (MA), 291 (CT), 291 (MA), 293, 295 (DE-NJ-PA), 295 (RI-MA), 384, 391, 395 (CT-MA), 395 (MD), 495 (DE), 610 (LA), 684, 691, 695 (MD), 695 (NY), 795 (MD)

abefroman329

I realize the fact that they're hokey and don't use professional voice actors is supposed to be part of their charm, but my God do I hate the Penny Mustard Furnishings ads.

CapeCodder

Quote from: jp the roadgeek on October 29, 2018, 01:03:43 AM
Long before Bob's Discount Furniture expanded nationwide, you had folksy ads like this in Southern New England.



I thought that ad was dead and buried.

Flint1979

For Michigan, I can't stand the Sam Bernstein Law Firm commercials.

cl94

This thread seems tailor-made for a couple of places in Upstate New York.

First, we have Airport Plaza Jewelers in Buffalo:



Then you have the Fuccillo chain of auto dealerships:


Foggs Automotive near Albany is a perennial offender. Their radio commercials often have Bush, Clinton, and Trump impersonators (sadly, I can't find any of those), but I did find some equally cheesy TV ads:
Please note: All posts represent my personal opinions and do not represent those of my employer or any of its partner agencies.

Travel Mapping (updated weekly)

renegade

Quote from: Flint1979 on October 29, 2018, 11:43:14 AM
For Michigan, I can't stand the Sam Bernstein Law Firm commercials.
I don't know.  The wall-to-wall political ads here are particularly annoying to me this election cycle.  I cannot wait for November 7th.
Don’t ask me how I know.  Just understand that I do.

roadman

#20
WBZ Radio has increasingly had on-air personalities do ads for several local businesses, typically with the "I'm a customer, you should be one too."  angle.  This sort of thing rankles me, because it immediately raises the question "OK, what sort of break are you getting for promoting this service on the radio?"

But the latest cheesy ad I've heard is for the pending public stock offering from High Times.  The ad itself, which lasts about 20 seconds, isn't that bad.  But the 45 second disclaimer that follows it is downright hilarious.  For one thing, it starts with the warning "Do not purchase this stock unless you can afford to lose your entire investment."
"And ninety-five is the route you were on.  It was not the speed limit sign."  - Jim Croce (from Speedball Tucker)

"My life has been a tapestry
Of years of roads and highway signs" (with apologies to Carole King and Tom Rush)

inkyatari

I'm never wrong, just wildly inaccurate.

jemacedo9

Quote from: cl94 on October 29, 2018, 12:37:34 PM
Then you have the Fuccillo chain of auto dealerships:

The Fuccillo ads always made me laugh out loud. 
To see them in "rapid fire" - priceless!! 

abefroman329

Quote from: cl94 on October 29, 2018, 12:37:34 PM
This thread seems tailor-made for a couple of places in Upstate New York.

First, we have Airport Plaza Jewelers in Buffalo:



Then you have the Fuccillo chain of auto dealerships:


Foggs Automotive near Albany is a perennial offender. Their radio commercials often have Bush, Clinton, and Trump impersonators (sadly, I can't find any of those), but I did find some equally cheesy TV ads:

Jerry's Subs and Pizza in DC would do commercials with some godawful celebrity impersonations. Including one of Ozzy Osborne that was really just some guy slurring his words while some of them were bleeped out.

Brandon

Quote from: inkyatari on October 29, 2018, 12:57:40 PM
That old car is worth money!






Victory Auto Wreckers got their money out of that ad.  It ran for three decades, starting in 1985.
"If you think this has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention." - Ramsay Bolton

"Symbolic of his struggle against reality." - Reg



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