Online dating

[Max Rockatansky]

I don't even know where I'd go to meet someone in person, other than at a bar.  And someone who goes out drinking alone to meet people doesn't really sound like the type one should be looking for.

So where is a better choice?

Hint: You go there every Sunday.

My brother tried suggesting that for years.  Might be a me thing (given the reply wasn't directed at me) but I don't think dating someone I met at a church would be super appealing. 

[kphoger]

I don't even know where I'd go to meet someone in person, other than at a bar.  And someone who goes out drinking alone to meet people doesn't really sound like the type one should be looking for.

So where is a better choice?

Hint: You go there every Sunday.

My brother tried suggesting that for years.  Might be a me thing (given the reply wasn't directed at me) but I don't think dating someone I met at a church would be super appealing. 

It's also only helpful if you attend a rather large church.

For my wife, she was already close friends with all the guys at her church.  And she was close enough to them that they were, as she puts it, "like brothers".  And, because they were like brothers to her, she had no interest in dating any of them.

[hbelkins]

Dated someone I met in church eons ago. I knew her but hadn't really paid any attention to her, until a co-worker and I were eating lunch at Long John Silver's in Richmond, and she and her mother happened to come in. They sat down with us and before long I found out she was interested. The relationship sputtered, we split up, and a few months later she came back with a greatly renewed interest. That second relationship was much more intense but it, too, played out. It was definitely for the best.

[abefroman329]

I don't even know where I'd go to meet someone in person, other than at a bar.  And someone who goes out drinking alone to meet people doesn't really sound like the type one should be looking for.

So where is a better choice?

Hint: You go there every Sunday.

My brother tried suggesting that for years.  Might be a me thing (given the reply wasn't directed at me) but I don't think dating someone I met at a church would be super appealing.

It wouldn't be appealing to me at all since I'm not religious, but it was one common suggestion of "where to meet people" back before Internet dating was something that a broad cross-section of the population participated in.

[kphoger]

Dated someone I met in church eons ago. I knew her but hadn't really paid any attention to her, until a co-worker and I were eating lunch at Long John Silver's in Richmond, and she and her mother happened to come in. They sat down with us and before long I found out she was interested. The relationship sputtered, we split up, and a few months later she came back with a greatly renewed interest. That second relationship was much more intense but it, too, played out. It was definitely for the best.

It can also, from what I've seen, be rather awkward after a break-up–especially if you're both involved in the same groups at church.

I don't even know where I'd go to meet someone in person, other than at a bar.  And someone who goes out drinking alone to meet people doesn't really sound like the type one should be looking for.

So where is a better choice?

Hint: You go there every Sunday.

My brother tried suggesting that for years.  Might be a me thing (given the reply wasn't directed at me) but I don't think dating someone I met at a church would be super appealing.

It wouldn't be appealing to me at all since I'm not religious, but it was one common suggestion of "where to meet people" back before Internet dating was something that a broad cross-section of the population participated in.

Yep.  As I said originally:

I asked people at work:
– Where can I find a wife?
– Church.
– That takes too long.  Where can I find one faster?
– The Internet.

So I went to the library to use the Internet.

[J N Winkler]

For those (like me) who don't go to church, ways to meet potential dating partners include out of work/out-of-school activities that bring one into propinquity with other people.  One woman I know met her husband playing amateur hockey; they just celebrated their twentieth wedding anniversary.

I personally think good relationships result as much from making as from choosing.  From that vantage point, there are advantages to looking for a partner in settings where there are significant social penalties to being a player, which is not typically true with bars, most online dating sites, and so on.  The flip side is that if the relationship goes badly sour, you can easily find yourself having to rebuild your social life in a new setting.

[Rothman]

Although my wife and I share a common religion and we both wanted to date within such, my local congregation was devoid of potential candidates.

[elsmere241]

Although my wife and I share a common religion and we both wanted to date within such, my local congregation was devoid of potential candidates.

My wife and I both had that problem.  That's why we were both on a site that catered to our denomination - and we just happened to both be in the chatroom one Friday night.

[Rothman]

Although my wife and I share a common religion and we both wanted to date within such, my local congregation was devoid of potential candidates.

My wife and I both had that problem.  That's why we were both on a site that catered to our denomination - and we just happened to both be in the chatroom one Friday night.

Yep.  Our site was the same -- for our denomination.  Fun thing was, like I said above, Janet Jackson actually pushed my wife into putting together a profile and putting herself out there.  My wife originally didn't want anything to do with it, but Janet nudged her along (I think she actually put the finishing touches on my wife's profile).  Pretty dumb luck we ended up together.

Janet came to our reception.

[kphoger]

Although my wife and I share a common religion and we both wanted to date within such, my local congregation was devoid of potential candidates.

My wife and I both had that problem.  That's why we were both on a site that catered to our denomination - and we just happened to both be in the chatroom one Friday night.

Yep.  Our site was the same -- for our denomination.  Fun thing was, like I said above, Janet Jackson actually pushed my wife into putting together a profile and putting herself out there.  My wife originally didn't want anything to do with it, but Janet nudged her along (I think she actually put the finishing touches on my wife's profile).  Pretty dumb luck we ended up together.

Janet came to our reception.

I have/had a good friend who found her husband that way too:  a dating site specific to Lutherans.  I forget where she was living at the time, maybe Fort Smith, and her husband-to-be lived in the Kansas City suburbs.

[Max Rockatansky]

I don't even know where I'd go to meet someone in person, other than at a bar.  And someone who goes out drinking alone to meet people doesn't really sound like the type one should be looking for.

So where is a better choice?

Hint: You go there every Sunday.

My brother tried suggesting that for years.  Might be a me thing (given the reply wasn't directed at me) but I don't think dating someone I met at a church would be super appealing.

It wouldn't be appealing to me at all since I'm not religious, but it was one common suggestion of "where to meet people" back before Internet dating was something that a broad cross-section of the population participated in.

I'm not "really religious"  but my wife is Catholic.  My wife goes to church on occasion and follows Catholic customs, but I wouldn't exactly call her super devote.  I don't really care what anyone believes so long as they don't try to force it on me, my wife never has.  To me getting involved with someone that was a church regular was just asking for stuff that would lead to relationship issues.

Interestingly the only person in my wife's family that was upset I'm not Catholic was her Grandma.  She actually even worked up the nerve to ask me to convert, I told her no and my wife told her to drop the issue. 

[OracleUsr]

I've had a lot of fails with online dating, but all it took was one success...we celebrate our eighth wedding anniversary in September and the 10-year anniversary of our first date in 3 weeks.  Just trust your instincts if you get into it and you'll do fine.

[Takumi]

I don't even know where I'd go to meet someone in person, other than at a bar.  And someone who goes out drinking alone to meet people doesn't really sound like the type one should be looking for.

So where is a better choice?

Hint: You go there every Sunday.

My brother tried suggesting that for years.  Might be a me thing (given the reply wasn't directed at me) but I don't think dating someone I met at a church would be super appealing.

It wouldn't be appealing to me at all since I'm not religious, but it was one common suggestion of "where to meet people" back before Internet dating was something that a broad cross-section of the population participated in.

I'm not "really religious"  but my wife is Catholic.  My wife goes to church on occasion and follows Catholic customs, but I wouldn't exactly call her super devote.  I don't really care what anyone believes so long as they don't try to force it on me, my wife never has.  To me getting involved with someone that was a church regular was just asking for stuff that would lead to relationship issues.

My girlfriend and I are two different denominations of Protestant, but neither of us attends church regularly. I haven't gone in probably a decade. Like you, I don't think I could be with someone whose beliefs are significantly different than mine.

[mgk920]

It just strikes me that today (in the early 2020s), on-line dating apps are little different from the 'storefronts' in central Amsterdam.

Nope....

Mike

[Rothman]

It just strikes me that today (in the early 2020s), on-line dating apps are little different from the 'storefronts' in central Amsterdam.

Nope....

Mike

Where do you personally go to meet people, then?

[ClassicHasClass]

I certainly had girls I was interested in at church, but nothing ever came of it. My wife and I met online and we turned out to share the same beliefs.

[vdeane]

Seriously, what's the deal with that? I've heard of it occurring not only in dating apps, but on Facebook and Twitter as well. I don't understand the mentality of someone who would immediately send someone else a naked picture of himself, or a picture of his sexual organ. It's not something that would even cross my mind to do.

I don't know, but I think it's amusing that this discussion happened here just a couple days before the webcomic SMBC did a strip about it (with aliens, because SMBC).
https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/civilization

[thenetwork]

I met my future wife online in 2000...when internet dating wasn't quite cool yet to publicize to others. 

Still happily married since 2003.

All I can recommend is that you get what you pay for (the dating sites)!  I subscribed to some dating site (forgot the name) and filled out a lengthy questionnaire.  I also had to buy a cheap scanner so I could submit a few photos of myself for the website.  I would be very leery of the quality and/or honesty of those you'd find on free websites/apps or those with very short questionnaires.  The sites/apps that make you spend some time and/or money before you can start "choosing" usually yield better results.