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Cheesy/Downright awful local ads

Started by CapeCodder, October 28, 2018, 01:09:39 PM

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Michael

Over the past two years or so in NY, we've had cheesy local ads from James Provenzano for his car dealerships.  He has dealerships across NY, and it seems like he's trying to be the next Billy Fuccillo.  I first heard him on Radio 95.1 out of Rochester.  When I first mentioned the cheesy ads to my friend who lives in Oneida, he said that he'd heard the ads on radio stations near him.

James is a "dealer for the people", and I noticed that "for the people" had a registered trademark symbol.  After a bit of Googling, I found other dealers using that phrase, and it turns out that it's registered to what looks like an ad agency in Florida.  I'm guessing it's an ad package that dealers can buy and use.

The best (or worst) part is how James delivers the ads.  Here's a long version of one of his ads:

Obviously, there's just the audio on the radio.

The cheesiest one was for Pokémon Go.  From my Facebook chat history when it came out:
QuoteHe caught a Jigglypuff at his dealership and said there were a bunch of other Pokémon there too.  He even has a $5 down promotion, which he promoted as "driving away for the cost of 100 Pokéballs".  I was LOLing through the whole thing!

They're so cheesy that my friend and I have started to look forward to the beginning of each month to see what his ad will be for the month.  I was a bit disappointed this May since he reused his "Yes You May" ad from last year.


cl94

Quote from: Michael on October 30, 2018, 08:30:13 PM
Over the past two years or so in NY, we've had cheesy local ads from James Provenzano for his car dealerships.  He has dealerships across NY, and it seems like he's trying to be the next Billy Fuccillo.  I first heard him on Radio 95.1 out of Rochester.  When I first mentioned the cheesy ads to my friend who lives in Oneida, he said that he'd heard the ads on radio stations near him.

Oh, he's had his Johnstown dealership forever. Didn't realize he had more. "I'm James Provenzano, the dealer foooooooooooooor the people..." I hear those ads multiple times a day on the radio in Albany.
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Henry

Growing up in Chicago, my vote would go to those ubiquitous Empire commercials, when it was completely local and the number was just 588-2300, with the (800) part not yet in place.
Go Cubs Go! Go Cubs Go! Hey Chicago, what do you say? The Cubs are gonna win today!

paulthemapguy

Quote from: Henry on November 01, 2018, 09:32:40 AM
Growing up in Chicago, my vote would go to those ubiquitous Empire commercials, when it was completely local and the number was just 588-2300, with the (800) part not yet in place.

I'm altogether very glad they didn't change the jingle when they added the (800), though.  I like how they snuck the (800) in within later commercials.

And kudos for @Brandon for posting the all-time worst cringefest I've ever seen in the very first reply to the OP lmao
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Brandon

Quote from: paulthemapguy on November 01, 2018, 09:55:32 AM
Quote from: Henry on November 01, 2018, 09:32:40 AM
Growing up in Chicago, my vote would go to those ubiquitous Empire commercials, when it was completely local and the number was just 588-2300, with the (800) part not yet in place.

I'm altogether very glad they didn't change the jingle when they added the (800), though.  I like how they snuck the (800) in within later commercials.

And kudos for @Brandon for posting the all-time worst cringefest I've ever seen in the very first reply to the OP lmao

Hey, how can you ever forget Eagleman?  Once seen, it cannot be unseen!  Just remember,

I've....got....something....for....you....[sound effect of a male eagle laying an egg].
"If you think this has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention." - Ramsay Bolton

"Symbolic of his struggle against reality." - Reg

cl94

Quote from: paulthemapguy on November 01, 2018, 09:55:32 AM
Quote from: Henry on November 01, 2018, 09:32:40 AM
Growing up in Chicago, my vote would go to those ubiquitous Empire commercials, when it was completely local and the number was just 588-2300, with the (800) part not yet in place.

I'm altogether very glad they didn't change the jingle when they added the (800), though.  I like how they snuck the (800) in within later commercials.

Empire Carpet has locations everywhere now. We get the same stupid commercials in New York. I honestly didn't realize it was a Chicago company. I first thought the "Empire" name was a reference to New York, which was the only place I have ever seen commercials until recently.
Please note: All posts represent my personal opinions and do not represent those of my employer or any of its partner agencies.

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roadman

#56
Quote from: cl94 on October 30, 2018, 03:03:26 PM
Quote from: roadman on October 30, 2018, 01:06:39 PM
Quote from: vdeane on October 29, 2018, 08:33:48 PM
The first one there is JUST like the radio ads for Foggs, all the way down to the voices, music, and the $350/week $30,000/credit thing.

$350/week?  Talk about predatory.

Well, if people have no credit, that's where predatory lenders come in.
We get ads for these types of "no credit/bad credit, no problem" places in Eastern Massachusetts from time to time - the last being JD Byrider (until the AG's Office slapped them with a lawsuit for defective cars and predatory practices).  But I've NEVER heard of a $350 per week car payment from one of these firms before.
"And ninety-five is the route you were on.  It was not the speed limit sign."  - Jim Croce (from Speedball Tucker)

"My life has been a tapestry
Of years of roads and highway signs" (with apologies to Carole King and Tom Rush)

Jim

Quote from: roadman on November 01, 2018, 04:30:00 PM
Quote from: cl94 on October 30, 2018, 03:03:26 PM
Quote from: roadman on October 30, 2018, 01:06:39 PM
Quote from: vdeane on October 29, 2018, 08:33:48 PM
The first one there is JUST like the radio ads for Foggs, all the way down to the voices, music, and the $350/week $30,000/credit thing.

$350/week?  Talk about predatory.

Well, if people have no credit, that's where predatory lenders come in.
We get ads for these types of "no credit/bad credit, no problem" places in Eastern Massachusetts from time to time - the last being JD Byrider (until the AG's Office slapped them with a lawsuit for defective cars and predatory practices).  But I've NEVER heard of a $350 per week car payment from one of these firms before.

I hear the ads for Fogg's all the time with the "bring home 350 a week, get 30,000 in credit", but my assumption has always been that you can get up to $30,000 in credit if you show that you have a $350/week in take home pay.  I don't know what portion of that $350/week they expect will become your car payment.  It is certainly a failure of math education if someone who takes home $350/week believes it's appropriate to borrow $30,000 to buy a used car.  I don't know if that "offer" is in conjunction with their "it's a crime to pay more than a dime" down payment program.  Talk about trying to get people into worse financial trouble than they're probably already in...

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ET21

Quote from: Brandon on November 01, 2018, 10:56:05 AM
Quote from: paulthemapguy on November 01, 2018, 09:55:32 AM
Quote from: Henry on November 01, 2018, 09:32:40 AM
Growing up in Chicago, my vote would go to those ubiquitous Empire commercials, when it was completely local and the number was just 588-2300, with the (800) part not yet in place.

I'm altogether very glad they didn't change the jingle when they added the (800), though.  I like how they snuck the (800) in within later commercials.

And kudos for @Brandon for posting the all-time worst cringefest I've ever seen in the very first reply to the OP lmao

Hey, how can you ever forget Eagleman?  Once seen, it cannot be unseen!  Just remember,

I've....got....something....for....you....[sound effect of a male eagle laying an egg].

The Eagle..... damn I haven't seen that since the early 2000s  :-D :-D :-D
The local weatherman, trust me I can be 99.9% right!
"Show where you're going, without forgetting where you're from"

Clinched:
IL: I-88, I-180, I-190, I-290, I-294, I-355, IL-390
IN: I-80, I-94
SD: I-190
WI: I-90, I-94
MI: I-94, I-196
MN: I-90

1995hoo

Quote from: paulthemapguy on November 01, 2018, 09:55:32 AM
Quote from: Henry on November 01, 2018, 09:32:40 AM
Growing up in Chicago, my vote would go to those ubiquitous Empire commercials, when it was completely local and the number was just 588-2300, with the (800) part not yet in place.

I'm altogether very glad they didn't change the jingle when they added the (800), though.  I like how they snuck the (800) in within later commercials.

And kudos for @Brandon for posting the all-time worst cringefest I've ever seen in the very first reply to the OP lmao

Speaking of annoying ads that originated in Chicago, I believe Luna originated there too, although I guess their ads no longer qualify as "local" for this thread. The ad a few years ago with the geek who sang "Free Floorin'" and his hideous wife was probably their most cringeworthy ad, IMO.

(To be fair, though, I'd probably rather see a Luna ad or any of the ads in this thread over all the negative campaign ads that have taken over our airwaves. For the past week or two, I basically mute the TV when they go to commercial and unmute it when the ad break ends.)
"You know, you never have a guaranteed spot until you have a spot guaranteed."
—Olaf Kolzig, as quoted in the Washington Times on March 28, 2003,
commenting on the Capitals clinching a playoff spot.

"That sounded stupid, didn't it?"
—Kolzig, to the same reporter a few seconds later.

Brandon

Quote from: 1995hoo on November 02, 2018, 09:04:16 AM
Quote from: paulthemapguy on November 01, 2018, 09:55:32 AM
Quote from: Henry on November 01, 2018, 09:32:40 AM
Growing up in Chicago, my vote would go to those ubiquitous Empire commercials, when it was completely local and the number was just 588-2300, with the (800) part not yet in place.

I'm altogether very glad they didn't change the jingle when they added the (800), though.  I like how they snuck the (800) in within later commercials.

And kudos for @Brandon for posting the all-time worst cringefest I've ever seen in the very first reply to the OP lmao

Speaking of annoying ads that originated in Chicago, I believe Luna originated there too, although I guess their ads no longer qualify as "local" for this thread. The ad a few years ago with the geek who sang "Free Floorin'" and his hideous wife was probably their most cringeworthy ad, IMO.

(To be fair, though, I'd probably rather see a Luna ad or any of the ads in this thread over all the negative campaign ads that have taken over our airwaves. For the past week or two, I basically mute the TV when they go to commercial and unmute it when the ad break ends.)

Yes, "773-202-LUNA".
"If you think this has a happy ending, you haven't been paying attention." - Ramsay Bolton

"Symbolic of his struggle against reality." - Reg

ET21

Local for Chicago as well, "Glenn Learner is the lawyer for you, call 222-2222"

What's funny is as the years went on, his commercials added more CGI and I saw his billboards is such odd places (Like US-30 in Big Rock IL, about 50 miles west of Chicago)

The local weatherman, trust me I can be 99.9% right!
"Show where you're going, without forgetting where you're from"

Clinched:
IL: I-88, I-180, I-190, I-290, I-294, I-355, IL-390
IN: I-80, I-94
SD: I-190
WI: I-90, I-94
MI: I-94, I-196
MN: I-90

Henry

Quote from: cl94 on November 01, 2018, 11:45:40 AM
Quote from: paulthemapguy on November 01, 2018, 09:55:32 AM
Quote from: Henry on November 01, 2018, 09:32:40 AM
Growing up in Chicago, my vote would go to those ubiquitous Empire commercials, when it was completely local and the number was just 588-2300, with the (800) part not yet in place.

I'm altogether very glad they didn't change the jingle when they added the (800), though.  I like how they snuck the (800) in within later commercials.

Empire Carpet has locations everywhere now. We get the same stupid commercials in New York. I honestly didn't realize it was a Chicago company. I first thought the "Empire" name was a reference to New York, which was the only place I have ever seen commercials until recently.
And given that NY is the Empire State, it would've been an obvious reason for your thinking. The spirit of Lynn Hauldren (the local actor who portrayed the company's mascot) is still there, as the ads evolved from sketches of him bursting into a woman's home and plopping down new carpet to CGIs of multiple brown-haired, mustachioed men with the glasses and blue uniforms scattered all over another house and doing different tasks at the same time.

Quote from: Brandon on November 02, 2018, 09:18:50 AM
Quote from: 1995hoo on November 02, 2018, 09:04:16 AM
Quote from: paulthemapguy on November 01, 2018, 09:55:32 AM
Quote from: Henry on November 01, 2018, 09:32:40 AM
Growing up in Chicago, my vote would go to those ubiquitous Empire commercials, when it was completely local and the number was just 588-2300, with the (800) part not yet in place.

I'm altogether very glad they didn't change the jingle when they added the (800), though.  I like how they snuck the (800) in within later commercials.

And kudos for @Brandon for posting the all-time worst cringefest I've ever seen in the very first reply to the OP lmao

Speaking of annoying ads that originated in Chicago, I believe Luna originated there too, although I guess their ads no longer qualify as "local" for this thread. The ad a few years ago with the geek who sang "Free Floorin'" and his hideous wife was probably their most cringeworthy ad, IMO.

(To be fair, though, I'd probably rather see a Luna ad or any of the ads in this thread over all the negative campaign ads that have taken over our airwaves. For the past week or two, I basically mute the TV when they go to commercial and unmute it when the ad break ends.)

Yes, "773-202-LUNA".
The jingle/number for Luna has been changed to "877-241-LUNA", IIRC. The most annoying part is the sound of the phone dialing before the LUNA is sung. However, I don't mind that as much as Empire.
Go Cubs Go! Go Cubs Go! Hey Chicago, what do you say? The Cubs are gonna win today!

1995hoo

^^^^

It's a sad commentary on modern life that I know Luna's phone number (due to hearing their jingle so many times) but I don't know my brother's phone number, nor the phone numbers for various other relatives who call us with some regularity.
"You know, you never have a guaranteed spot until you have a spot guaranteed."
—Olaf Kolzig, as quoted in the Washington Times on March 28, 2003,
commenting on the Capitals clinching a playoff spot.

"That sounded stupid, didn't it?"
—Kolzig, to the same reporter a few seconds later.

inkyatari

Quote from: ET21 on November 02, 2018, 09:23:31 AM
Local for Chicago as well, "Glenn Learner is the lawyer for you, call 222-2222"

What's funny is as the years went on, his commercials added more CGI and I saw his billboards is such odd places (Like US-30 in Big Rock IL, about 50 miles west of Chicago)



This scuzz has offices nationwide.  I saw ads and billboards for him in Phoenix, AZ back in 2014
I'm never wrong, just wildly inaccurate.

Sctvhound

In Charleston there are several cheesy lawyers with commercials. You flip on the TV any time between 9-6 on a weekday and you usually see these 3-4 in a commercial set on the OTA stations.

George Sink "George Sink on the line, call 999-9999,"  Akim Anastopoulo (the guy from the "Eye for an Eye"  TV show), Shelly Leeke, Bill Green, John Hawkins. All have cheesy catch phases and mostly deal with folks who have been injured in accidents (which is much of the audience on daytime OTA TV).

There are also some bad ones you often see on the local news about this company that sells hearing aids "that are the size of a pencil eraser!"

But the most memorable one is probably Gerald's Tires. They are an institution here. They have had about 4 ads in a 30 year period. All of them still play. He has one that still plays which is from about 1993 or 1994. It shows a NationsBank ATM (that chain merged with Bank of America in 1998!), and in the commercial they were working on a Toyota Cressida (last model year was 1992).

Here it is: https://youtu.be/5QCuixgn3aQ

Here is one of George Sink's: https://youtu.be/uDzq-6Xk_Ec




abefroman329

Quote from: 1995hoo on November 02, 2018, 10:11:08 AM
^^^^

It's a sad commentary on modern life that I know Luna's phone number (due to hearing their jingle so many times) but I don't know my brother's phone number, nor the phone numbers for various other relatives who call us with some regularity.
The only phone numbers I have memorized are the ones I used to have to dial, back before I had a cell phone with a phone book.

US71

I'm surprised no one has mentioned Sammy Stephens


Like Alice I Try To Believe Three Impossible Things Before Breakfast

kphoger

Quote from: 1995hoo on November 02, 2018, 09:04:16 AM
Speaking of annoying ads that originated in Chicago, I believe Luna originated there too, although I guess their ads no longer qualify as "local" for this thread.

Quote from: Brandon on November 02, 2018, 09:18:50 AM
Yes, "773-202-LUNA".

Quote from: Henry on November 02, 2018, 09:46:16 AM
The jingle/number for Luna has been changed to "877-241-LUNA", IIRC.

I remember Empire commercials from the 80s and 90s and can still picture the man and hear the jingle–but did Luna have a catchy jingle for their phone number before the 773 area code came into existence?
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
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Male pronouns, please.

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US71

#70
Quote from: kphoger on December 13, 2018, 02:39:10 PM


I remember Empire commercials from the 80s and 90s and can still picture the man and hear the jingle–but did Luna have a catchy jingle for their phone number before the 773 area code came into existence?

Lynn Hauldren. Originally just the ad representative, became the face of Empire when he & the owner couldn't find a suitable actor.  He lives on as an animated character in current advertising.
Like Alice I Try To Believe Three Impossible Things Before Breakfast

txstateends

From the Dallas area, a dumpy furniture store...


...not too far away, a Ford place with a popular wrestler...


...I'm sure there are more, but it's time to call it a night.
\/ \/ click for a bigger image \/ \/

jp the roadgeek

Thanks, Good Olde Tom for many cheesy local commercials like this:

Interstates I've clinched: 97, 290 (MA), 291 (CT), 291 (MA), 293, 295 (DE-NJ-PA), 295 (RI-MA), 384, 391, 395 (CT-MA), 395 (MD), 495 (DE), 610 (LA), 684, 691, 695 (MD), 695 (NY), 795 (MD)

US71


Arkansas had Dan Ivy, Rebel Attorney

Like Alice I Try To Believe Three Impossible Things Before Breakfast

roadman

For a short time, our transit system had ads from a lawyer who used the tag line "Better Phone Stone".  The ads were removed, so I wonder if AMC threatened to file a lawsuit against them.
"And ninety-five is the route you were on.  It was not the speed limit sign."  - Jim Croce (from Speedball Tucker)

"My life has been a tapestry
Of years of roads and highway signs" (with apologies to Carole King and Tom Rush)



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