Most absurd VMS messages

[jbnv]

Although the message was shown on EVERY sign between Route 4 and the MA line, I guess that's better than seeing

PROVIDENCE-NEWPORT FERRY
12:30 SOLD OUT
5:00 STILL TICKETS

on all the signs, which was the case two weeks ago.  And note that the ferry message was being displayed about 3:00 pm, well after the 12:30 ferry had departed.

That's more lazy than absurd.

[roadman]

Although the message was shown on EVERY sign between Route 4 and the MA line, I guess that's better than seeing

PROVIDENCE-NEWPORT FERRY
12:30 SOLD OUT
5:00 STILL TICKETS

on all the signs, which was the case two weeks ago.  And note that the ferry message was being displayed about 3:00 pm, well after the 12:30 ferry had departed.

That's more lazy than absurd.

The message itself is lazy.  Placing it on every northbound VMS panel between Route 4 and the Massachusetts line is absurd.

[roadman]

Just when you thought MassDOT had run out of totally absurd (and non-transportation related) VMS messages:

http://www.universalhub.com/2016/jennifuh-quickly-grew-her-roommate-bu

[epzik8]

Along I-95 in Delaware, between Newark and Wilmington:

Screen 1: "SCHOOL'S IN SESSION"
Screen 2: "GIVE KIDS A BRAKE"

The actual message isn't absurd - drivers really should use caution in school zones and in the vicinity of stopped school buses - it's just that they didn't need to use a lame pun like that.

[SectorZ]

"OUI RUINS LIVES"

MassDOT should learn that punctuation matters, as I don't understand why French affirmatives ruin lives.

[Rothman]

"OUI RUINS LIVES"

MassDOT should learn that punctuation matters, as I don't understand why French affirmatives ruin lives.

We were joking about that ourselves over the past couple of weeks due to our recent and frequent trips on the western half of the Pike.

[JCinSummerfield]

"OUI RUINS LIVES"

MassDOT should learn that punctuation matters, as I don't understand why French affirmatives ruin lives.

I bet they were talking about the magazine.

[WillWeaverRVA]

"OUI RUINS LIVES"

MassDOT should learn that punctuation matters, as I don't understand why French affirmatives ruin lives.

That or they were going for a self-deprecating pun with poor grammar by suggesting "(WE) RUINS (sic) LIVES".

[Buffaboy]

I admit that I have Pokémon Go going while in heavy, slow-moving traffic, but I don't look at it. If you're moving slower than 15 km/h, it thinks you're walking and it will count toward hatching eggs. Makes traffic a hell of a lot more enjoyable, especially if the jam is a few miles long and you can get a few eggs to hatch with zero effort.

Those days are gone

[kphoger]

"OUI RUINS LIVES"

MassDOT should learn that punctuation matters, as I don't understand why French affirmatives ruin lives.

I have no idea what it even means.  Good job, MassDOT.  For all I know, OUI is a political organization and MassDOT is telling me not to vote for them.

[jwolfer]

"OUI RUINS LIVES"

MassDOT should learn that punctuation matters, as I don't understand why French affirmatives ruin lives.

I bet they were talking about the magazine.

I remember finding that magazine in my grandpa's stash when I was a kid... Is there any magazines left? Or is it all online now

[SidS1045]

"OUI RUINS LIVES"

MassDOT should learn that punctuation matters, as I don't understand why French affirmatives ruin lives.

I have no idea what it even means.  Good job, MassDOT.  For all I know, OUI is a political organization and MassDOT is telling me not to vote for them.

Besides, the common parlance around here is DUI, not OUI.

[kphoger]

"OUI RUINS LIVES"

MassDOT should learn that punctuation matters, as I don't understand why French affirmatives ruin lives.

I have no idea what it even means.  Good job, MassDOT.  For all I know, OUI is a political organization and MassDOT is telling me not to vote for them.

Besides, the common parlance around here is DUI, not OUI.

Oh, so it means DUI?  See, now, I would have read that sign and not understood the message.

I still just had to do a Google search to figure out what the O even stands for.

[DevalDragon]

"OUI RUINS LIVES"

MassDOT should learn that punctuation matters, as I don't understand why French affirmatives ruin lives.

I have no idea what it even means.  Good job, MassDOT.  For all I know, OUI is a political organization and MassDOT is telling me not to vote for them.

Besides, the common parlance around here is DUI, not OUI.

We use DWI down in Texas.

[bzakharin]

"OUI RUINS LIVES"

MassDOT should learn that punctuation matters, as I don't understand why French affirmatives ruin lives.

I have no idea what it even means.  Good job, MassDOT.  For all I know, OUI is a political organization and MassDOT is telling me not to vote for them.

Besides, the common parlance around here is DUI, not OUI.

We use DWI down in Texas.

I believe they mean different things. I think one is alcohol, while the other is alcohol or other drugs. Don't remember which one is which, though

[jeffandnicole]

"OUI RUINS LIVES"

MassDOT should learn that punctuation matters, as I don't understand why French affirmatives ruin lives.

I have no idea what it even means.  Good job, MassDOT.  For all I know, OUI is a political organization and MassDOT is telling me not to vote for them.

Besides, the common parlance around here is DUI, not OUI.

We use DWI down in Texas.

I believe they mean different things. I think one is alcohol, while the other is alcohol or other drugs. Don't remember which one is which, though

Driving While Intoxicated

Driving Under (the) Influence.

I believe DUI is more broad than DWI.

[bzakharin]

Driving While Intoxicated

Driving Under (the) Influence.

I believe DUI is more broad than DWI.

Yeah, I knew what they stood for. It's not clear which one is broader. On the one hand "intoxicated" has a more specific meaning. On the other hand, if we're just talking about alcohol and drugs, "intoxicated" covers both. On the third hand (or something) DWI does not necessarily imply that the substance is actually influencing your driving. As for OUI, I've never heard of it. I assumed it was a case of DUI with a D indistinguishable from an O. Once I realized it was not, I did guess "Operating" correctly.

[slorydn1]

In NC it's DWI (Driving While Impaired)-covers the whole range from alcohol to drugs.

[Bruce]

Seen at LAX recently, regarding a certain exploding smartphone:

https://gfycat.com/PitifulWarmheartedFlyinglemur

[Max Rockatansky]

Seen at LAX recently, regarding a certain exploding smartphone:

https://gfycat.com/PitifulWarmheartedFlyinglemur

I'm sure that went over well with all the people carrying them.  I love the current "one text or call could end it all" messages Caltrans had up this past week.  Nothing like a good scare tactic campaign at 5 AM in the morning to make your climb up Tehachpi Pass more enjoyable. 

[SidS1045]

It's hardly a "scare" tactic.  The damned things were spontaneously bursting into flame and their manufacturer was unable to fix the problem.  Even the supposedly "fixed" ones were doing it too.  (Parenthetically, this failure is going to cost Samsung, by some estimates, billions of dollars.)  If its users were paying attention and had some brain matter, they had already stopped using them.

And that ban the VMS referred to was imposed not by LAX alone, but by the FAA and applies nationwide.

[Max Rockatansky]

It's hardly a "scare" tactic.  The damned things were spontaneously bursting into flame and their manufacturer was unable to fix the problem.  Even the supposedly "fixed" ones were doing it too.  (Parenthetically, this failure is going to cost Samsung, by some estimates, billions of dollars.)  If its users were paying attention and had some brain matter, they had already stopped using them.

And that ban the VMS referred to was imposed not by LAX alone, but by the FAA and applies nationwide.

I meant the VMS sign saying "one text or call could end it all." 

[kphoger]

In Missouri a week ago, I saw several VMSes with cutesy Halloween-themed messages.  "Mind your mummy / Don't speed" was one of them.  They made me want to vomit, but I couldn't because I was in a borrowed car.

[MNHighwayMan]

I have a whole album of these, in various levels of hilarity and/or absurdity, that I've taken from the Des Moines area. Apologies if any of these have already been posted.

[roadman]

Just when you thought MassDOT couldn't outdo themselves with irrelevant (to the driving task) CMS messages.  Spotted last night on I-93 south, on the CMS boards south of Dascomb Road and at Route 129:

REPLACE SMOKE      TEST MONTHLY
DETECTORS             CHECK BATTERY
EVERY 10 YEARS