Most absurd VMS messages

[jeffandnicole]

I've said it before:

If bicycles were invented today, people wouldn't be allowed to ride them.

I've used this example I'm the past: Checks. A check usually has your name, address, and account number, bank routing number on it. The stranger that you hand that check to now has all your bank information.

I can fill out a withdraw slip at that bank to take out money, and the only thing between me and that money may be the teller asking for ID.

Are you talking about present day, or 30 years ago?

If they were invented today.

[abefroman329]

I've said it before:

If bicycles were invented today, people wouldn't be allowed to ride them.

I've used this example I'm the past: Checks. A check usually has your name, address, and account number, bank routing number on it. The stranger that you hand that check to now has all your bank information.

I can fill out a withdraw slip at that bank to take out money, and the only thing between me and that money may be the teller asking for ID.

Are you talking about present day, or 30 years ago?

If they were invented today.

I mean...did everything else happen on the same timeline and it's just checks that were invented today?

[Rothman]

Again, dumpster fire, I say, dumpster fire!

[kalvado]

Again, dumpster fire, I say, dumpster fire!

Sorry for disturbing your trash diving session...

[wanderer2575]

Attempting to get this thread back on track:

MDOT (Michigan) does it again:  VMS before a four-way interchange, and the one leg for which information is given is the one not accessible.

[Scott5114]

[JoePCool14]

Okay, you win! 

[MCRoads]

Sigh... and redundant, to boot!

[kphoger]

Sigh... and redundant, to boot!

Translation:  Yes, there is enough highway capacity for you to change lanes, and there's nothing physically preventing you from doing it, and we know you really want to, and we admit it's a common thing for drivers to do, but we think you'll agree that it's a bad idea just because of the design we chose to paint the road with.

[hotdogPi]

I just encountered a ground-mounted VMS in downtown Lawrence, MA that cycled through ten slides. It was five in English and five in Spanish (Lawrence is bilingual), but even a five-slide VMS is supposed to be discouraged.

It was about motorcycles requiring registration and certain types of vehicles (such as four-wheelers) being banned entirely in Lawrence.

The location was here, meaning you can't whiz past it (note the do not enter sign), but still...

[Lukeisroads]

Ah yes my favorite the bsod vms

[webny99]

Rochester-area VMS's today had something like this:

(A)
I-490 EASTBOUND
2 PM TO 4 PM
EXITS 10 TO 25

(B)
HEAVY TRAFFIC EXPECTED
PREPARE TO STOP

Exit 10 is west of downtown and Exit 25 is NY 31F (the exit for St. John Fisher College), so my first thought was that maybe the heavy traffic expected was for Bills training camp. But no, it turns out that starts at 9:45 AM. So I'm not sure what's going on, but whatever it is, it's big enough to catch NYSDOT's attention. We'll see if the same message is still up tomorrow.

[jeffandnicole]

An unusually deep-thinking VMS statement from NJDOT today...

IF YOU FEEL DIFFERENT
YOU DRIVE DIFFERENT

[CoreySamson]

I posted an intersection in the redesign this intersection thread (288B @ Wilkins in Angleton, TX for those interested) because it's honestly not great. And it appears TxDot attempted to solve it ... with a portable VMS. It said something like this:

HIGH CRASH VOLUME
INTERSECTION AHEAD
--------------------------
USE CAUTION

Earlier in the pandemic, I saw another VMS there that said something about social distancing and masks, but I don't really feel that counts in the cultural climate of today.

It seems that the town has decided to make this VMS their personal city messaging board for city events. From what I've seen of it in the last year, it's advertised everything from a daddy-daughter dance to a July 4th fireworks show.

I'm guessing it's there since that intersection backs up frequently enough that drivers are basically a captive audience.

[MCRoads]

Sigh... and redundant, to boot!

Translation:  Yes, there is enough highway capacity for you to change lanes, and there's nothing physically preventing you from doing it, and we know you really want to, and we admit it's a common thing for drivers to do, but we think you'll agree that it's a bad idea just because of the design we chose to paint the road with.

Actual translation: That is a toll lane. Don't cross those lines, otherwise you will be paying a big fine for toll violations.

[Billy F 1988]

Sigh... and redundant, to boot!

Translation:  Yes, there is enough highway capacity for you to change lanes, and there's nothing physically preventing you from doing it, and we know you really want to, and we admit it's a common thing for drivers to do, but we think you'll agree that it's a bad idea just because of the design we chose to paint the road with.

Actual translation: That is a toll lane. Don't cross those lines, otherwise you will be paying a big fine for toll violations.

Actual actual translation: STAY IN YOUR OWN DAMN LANE!

[Kniwt]

OK, just spotted this on I-40 in California. I guess the conversation at Caltrans District HQ went something like this:
"Let's add Goffs Road to that VMS!"
"What's that again?" "Goffs Road." "Got it, boss. Golf's."

[CNGL-Leudimin]

[empty post after pic removal]

Ha, I know this happened in a Catalan speaking area of Spain, although I haven't been able to pinpoint the exact location yet.

[DrSmith]

One I saw in Vermont the other day:

TEXTING WHILE DRIVING
OH CELL NO!

[Rothman]

Saw this creepy thing in a couple of different places in NY a week or so ago:

SEE THE SIGN
OBEY THE SIGN

[kirbykart]

Saw this creepy thing in a couple of different places in NY a week or so ago:

SEE THE SIGN
OBEY THE SIGN

Haven't seen that one (yet). I personally like the "DRIVE SOBER OR GET PULLED OVER" ones I saw on the Thruway recently.

[US71]

I don't remember the exact message (the business has closed), but a Flea Market /Antique Shop in Alma, AR had a sign in their parking lot advertising their store.

[jay8g]

Multiple portable VMSes around Port Angeles last weekend:

CLALLAM
COUNTY
SHERIFF

NOW
HIRING
DEPUTIES

[JoePCool14]

Multiple portable VMSes around Port Angeles last weekend:

CLALLAM
COUNTY
SHERIFF

NOW
HIRING
DEPUTIES

Imagine if they changed a couple words on that:

CLALLAM
COUNTY
JAIL

NOW
HIRING
INMATES

[TheHighwayMan3561]

Today's MnDOT entry:

           SKOL!
DESIGNATED DRIVERS

I'm sure that was extra sore for the local Packers contingent today.