Roadgeek jokes

Started by Roadgeekteen, January 05, 2018, 09:06:23 PM

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adventurernumber1

Quote from: sparker on January 12, 2018, 03:16:55 AM
Quote from: Throckmorton on January 08, 2018, 01:49:32 PM

How many roadgeeks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?



.....none, roadgeeks prefer screwing in vehicles.

:rofl:  :rofl:  :clap:  :clap:  :-D  :-D
Now alternating between different highway shields for my avatar - my previous highway shield avatar for the last few years was US 76.

Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/127322363@N08/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-vJ3qa8R-cc44Cv6ohio1g


TheArkansasRoadgeek

Quote from: sparker on January 12, 2018, 03:16:55 AM
Quote from: Throckmorton on January 08, 2018, 01:49:32 PM

How many roadgeeks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?



.....none, roadgeeks prefer screwing in vehicles.
Reword! :-D :sombrero:
Well, that's just like your opinion man...

roadman

#27
Quote from: kurumi on January 06, 2018, 03:32:15 PM
Cop: "Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?"
Motorist (sheepish): "My bad. I think because I was on I-65 that the speed limit was 65. Dumb mistake."
Cop: "Actually, the speed limit here is 65, but-"
Motorist: "Good thing I wasn't on I-70!"
Cop: "But the speed limit there is-- anyway, you've got a busted taillight."

A variation of this joke is:

State trooper observes car with elderly driver and passengers going very slowly, and pulls car over.
Trooper:  Can you explain why you were going so slowly?
Driver:  I was going exactly 17, which is the speed limit here.
Trooper:  Well, 17 is actually the route number, and not the speed limit.
Driver:  I wasn't aware of that. Sorry officer.
Trooper:  By the way, are your passengers OK?  They haven't moved or said a word since I stopped you.
Driver:  Oh, they'll be fine in a few minutes.  We just got off of Route 135.
"And ninety-five is the route you were on.  It was not the speed limit sign."  - Jim Croce (from Speedball Tucker)

"My life has been a tapestry
Of years of roads and highway signs" (with apologies to Carole King and Tom Rush)

kphoger

Quote from: TheArkansasRoadgeek on January 12, 2018, 11:01:20 AM
Quote from: sparker on January 12, 2018, 03:16:55 AM
Quote from: Throckmorton on January 08, 2018, 01:49:32 PM

How many roadgeeks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?



.....none, roadgeeks prefer screwing in vehicles.
Reword! :-D :sombrero:

You spelled "reward" wrong.

~or~

Proper response:  What!  And mess up the upholstery!  No way!
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

Throckmorton

Quote from: sparker on January 12, 2018, 03:16:55 AM
Quote from: Throckmorton on January 08, 2018, 01:49:32 PM

How many roadgeeks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?



.....none, roadgeeks prefer screwing in vehicles.

Finally, someone comes up with a punch line.
Proceed with caution

wxfree

Quote from: Throckmorton on January 08, 2018, 01:49:32 PM
How many roadgeeks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but it only takes one to masturbate in a light bulb.

I always heard that joke in relation to flies.  With a big enough bulb I guess anything is possible.
I'd like to buy a vowel, Alex.  What is E?

Roadgeekteen

A couple is driving down I-70 in Utah
Wife "Dave, do you think that you should get gas?
Husband "No, I will wait until the next exit with gas"
This does not end well.
God-emperor of Alanland, king of all the goats and goat-like creatures

Current Interstate map I am making:

https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/0/edit?hl=en&mid=1PEDVyNb1skhnkPkgXi8JMaaudM2zI-Y&ll=29.05778059819179%2C-82.48856825&z=5

kphoger

Quote from: Roadgeekteen on January 16, 2018, 05:09:28 PM
A couple is driving down I-70 in Utah
Wife "Dave, do you think that you should get gas?
Husband "No, I will wait until the next exit with gas"
This does not end well.

Really?  I imagine it ends up with Dave flagging down a driver to take him into Salina or Green River, buying a jerry can full of gas, then flagging another driver back to their car again.  And that's assuming they've somehow ignored this sign:
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

US 89

Quote from: kphoger on January 16, 2018, 06:13:33 PM
Quote from: Roadgeekteen on January 16, 2018, 05:09:28 PM
A couple is driving down I-70 in Utah
Wife "Dave, do you think that you should get gas?
Husband "No, I will wait until the next exit with gas"
This does not end well.

Really?  I imagine it ends up with Dave flagging down a driver to take him into Salina or Green River, buying a jerry can full of gas, then flagging another driver back to their car again.  And that's assuming they've somehow ignored this sign:


And this one is posted right before the last Green River exit:

Roadgeekteen

Quote from: roadguy2 on January 17, 2018, 12:38:44 AM
Quote from: kphoger on January 16, 2018, 06:13:33 PM
Quote from: Roadgeekteen on January 16, 2018, 05:09:28 PM
A couple is driving down I-70 in Utah
Wife "Dave, do you think that you should get gas?
Husband "No, I will wait until the next exit with gas"
This does not end well.

Really?  I imagine it ends up with Dave flagging down a driver to take him into Salina or Green River, buying a jerry can full of gas, then flagging another driver back to their car again.  And that's assuming they've somehow ignored this sign:


And this one is posted right before the last Green River exit:

Dave is an anti roadgeek and does not like signs.
God-emperor of Alanland, king of all the goats and goat-like creatures

Current Interstate map I am making:

https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/0/edit?hl=en&mid=1PEDVyNb1skhnkPkgXi8JMaaudM2zI-Y&ll=29.05778059819179%2C-82.48856825&z=5

sparker

Quote from: kphoger on January 12, 2018, 01:23:46 PM
Quote from: TheArkansasRoadgeek on January 12, 2018, 11:01:20 AM
Quote from: sparker on January 12, 2018, 03:16:55 AM
Quote from: Throckmorton on January 08, 2018, 01:49:32 PM

How many roadgeeks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?



.....none, roadgeeks prefer screwing in vehicles.
Reword! :-D :sombrero:

You spelled "reward" wrong.

~or~

Proper response:  What!  And mess up the upholstery!  No way!

That's what seat covers are for!

webny99

For me, as a (sort of) (ish) new user, the jokes I'm interested in are inside forum ones.

I know about Alanland, and I know about I-366 with an 85 mph limit, but are there any others?

hotdogPi

Quote from: webny99 on January 17, 2018, 11:32:20 PM
For me, as a (sort of) (ish) new user, the jokes I'm interested in are inside forum ones.

I know about Alanland, and I know about I-366 with an 85 mph limit, but are there any others?

"bip"
Clinched, minus I-93 (I'm missing a few miles and my file is incorrect)

Traveled, plus US 13, 44, and 50, and several state routes

I will be in Burlington VT for the eclipse.

webny99

Quote from: 1 on January 18, 2018, 07:49:18 AM

"bip"

I've heard that, but I don't know where it came from or what the significance is  :-D

kphoger

Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

vdeane

Quote from: webny99 on January 18, 2018, 08:29:19 AM
Quote from: 1 on January 18, 2018, 07:49:18 AM

"bip"

I've heard that, but I don't know where it came from or what the significance is  :-D
I think that came from the fight between bugo and Zeffy that led to bugo creating a new forum called biproads.  Unless it's even older.
Please note: All comments here represent my own personal opinion and do not reflect the official position of NYSDOT or its affiliates.

hotdogPi

Quote from: vdeane on January 18, 2018, 02:18:22 PM
Quote from: webny99 on January 18, 2018, 08:29:19 AM
Quote from: 1 on January 18, 2018, 07:49:18 AM

"bip"

I've heard that, but I don't know where it came from or what the significance is  :-D
I think that came from the fight between bugo and Zeffy that led to bugo creating a new forum called biproads.  Unless it's even older.

It's much older.
Clinched, minus I-93 (I'm missing a few miles and my file is incorrect)

Traveled, plus US 13, 44, and 50, and several state routes

I will be in Burlington VT for the eclipse.

adventurernumber1

Quote from: 1 on January 18, 2018, 02:59:38 PM
Quote from: vdeane on January 18, 2018, 02:18:22 PM
Quote from: webny99 on January 18, 2018, 08:29:19 AM
Quote from: 1 on January 18, 2018, 07:49:18 AM

"bip"

I've heard that, but I don't know where it came from or what the significance is  :-D
I think that came from the fight between bugo and Zeffy that led to bugo creating a new forum called biproads.  Unless it's even older.

It's much older.

Yes, I would like to think that for many, many years, "because it bips" was a common phrase around here.  :biggrin:
Now alternating between different highway shields for my avatar - my previous highway shield avatar for the last few years was US 76.

Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/127322363@N08/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-vJ3qa8R-cc44Cv6ohio1g

kphoger

Quote from: adventurernumber1 on January 18, 2018, 03:04:04 PM
Quote from: 1 on January 18, 2018, 02:59:38 PM
Quote from: vdeane on January 18, 2018, 02:18:22 PM
Quote from: webny99 on January 18, 2018, 08:29:19 AM
Quote from: 1 on January 18, 2018, 07:49:18 AM
"bip"
I've heard that, but I don't know where it came from or what the significance is  :-D
I think that came from the fight between bugo and Zeffy that led to bugo creating a new forum called biproads.  Unless it's even older.
It's much older.
Yes, I would like to think that for many, many years, "because it bips" was a common phrase around here.  :biggrin:

Search results for that phrase on this site go back to 2012.  If I'm not mistaken, biproads.com was created in 2015.
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

hbelkins

"Bips" dates back to MTR's heyday.


Government would be tolerable if not for politicians and bureaucrats.

US 89

What was in the biproads forum?

hotdogPi

Quote from: roadguy2 on January 18, 2018, 06:10:30 PM
What was in the biproads forum?

bugo created biproads as a split from aaroads, since he thought (and still thinks) that the forum is overmoderated. Biproads didn't last long.
Clinched, minus I-93 (I'm missing a few miles and my file is incorrect)

Traveled, plus US 13, 44, and 50, and several state routes

I will be in Burlington VT for the eclipse.

Roadgeekteen

God-emperor of Alanland, king of all the goats and goat-like creatures

Current Interstate map I am making:

https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/0/edit?hl=en&mid=1PEDVyNb1skhnkPkgXi8JMaaudM2zI-Y&ll=29.05778059819179%2C-82.48856825&z=5

kphoger

Quote from: Roadgeekteen on January 19, 2018, 04:55:45 PM
Quote from: kphoger on January 18, 2018, 12:25:51 PM
Pooing is cool.
:banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: This is not a joke!

It was in response to this post:

Quote from: webny99 on January 17, 2018, 11:32:20 PM
For me, as a (sort of) (ish) new user, the jokes I'm interested in are inside forum ones.

I know about Alanland, and I know about I-366 with an 85 mph limit, but are there any others?
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

webny99

Quote from: kphoger on January 19, 2018, 05:04:42 PM
Quote from: Roadgeekteen on January 19, 2018, 04:55:45 PM
Quote from: kphoger on January 18, 2018, 12:25:51 PM
Pooing is cool.
:banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: This is not a joke!

It was in response to this post:

Quote from: webny99 on January 17, 2018, 11:32:20 PM
For me, as a (sort of) (ish) new user, the jokes I'm interested in are inside forum ones.

I know about Alanland, and I know about I-366 with an 85 mph limit, but are there any others?

I gathered that, but I would be interested in some more details as to how that became a thing around here  :hmmm:



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