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Author Topic: Stories of interstates  (Read 53007 times)

WISFreeways

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Stories of interstates
« on: September 29, 2009, 08:43:51 PM »

(I-94 speaking)
Hi. I'm I-94. I started my route when I-90 got inspired by Seattle when I-5 started him. So, he decided to let me loose after he went through Billings, Montana :clap: :clap: :clap:. I was very close friends with him, but he betrayed me while we were in Chicagoland by taking I-80 from me  :pan:  :banghead: :pan:. So, I decided to go to Detroit because it had the Big Three and end in Canada while I-69 started his route from Canada :ded:.
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Alps

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Re: Stories of interstates
« Reply #1 on: September 29, 2009, 11:16:32 PM »

Hi, I-38 speaking.  My parents decided to use contraceptives, so I was never even born.  However, rumor is that somewhere along the way an illegitimate stepchild slipped out... my dad had a relationship with I-80.  I don't really want to talk about it.  From what I understand, everyone is shunning my "cousin" except for I-80.  It's hard to feel badly toward my dad's affair when my parents are such terrible parents.  (I-8 and I-3... and where are they now?  See?)  So... remember me as the lesson for what could have been.

SSOWorld

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Re: Stories of interstates
« Reply #2 on: September 30, 2009, 12:03:41 AM »

This is I-39.  I don't even remember who my biological parents are.  I-90 and I-94 seem to never want to let me go, in fact for a short time while in Wisconsin, they fought over me so we ended up traveling as a triple team.  I've also got friends who wouldn't ever leave me alone.  especially US-51.  He felt so important, that he wanted "TO US 51" to join me for the 6 miles I actually got to travel alone, but I turned that offer down on the count that everyone has to be themselves.  Hell, US 51 told me I couldn't have my own Exit numbers in Wisconsin - what gives?  I still hope for the day that US 51 gets stuck in Bloomington.  I could never find a mate to give me the chance to let I-239 into the world at Madison.  They also told me it would not be legitimate, since we got four squabbling US routes on that path.
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Scott O.

Not all who wander are lost...
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As a matter of fact, I do own the road.
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mapman

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Re: Stories of interstates
« Reply #3 on: September 30, 2009, 02:18:47 AM »

Hi, my name is I-880.  I grew up in Sacramento, California, helping to get people up to their ski vacations in the Sierra Nevada mountains.  Then all of a sudden my father, I-80, orphaned me, taking over MY route!   :angry:

Did he at least swap me with his old route?  No, he gave it to my step-brother, Business I-80!  (Why does he deserve a freeway, anyway?)   :confused:

Anyway, my good friend California 17 offered to give me some of his route through the East Bay of the San Francisco Bay Area -- said he needed my help to upgrade himself.  So I was only happy to oblige.   :sombrero:

Now, I'm a wider freeway than I ever was, and named after a famous Navyman, to boot.  Everything's great.  (Well, except for that time twenty years ago when I temporarily lost my hair in an earthquake.  But other than that ...)   :cool:
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Re: Stories of interstates
« Reply #4 on: September 30, 2009, 02:22:25 AM »

My name is I-380.  Most people know me as the way to the San Francisco Airport.  But I have much bigger dreams.  When I grow up, I'd like to have my own bridge over San Francisco Bay, connecting to my big brother, I-880.  But alas, that's probably never going to happen.     :no:


The name's I-605.  My beat is the Los Angeles metro area.  No one knows where I go, because Caltrans only signs my destinations as "Thru Traffic."  What the @^%$ is with that, Caltrans?  I mean, I go places -- Duarte, City of Industry, Norwalk, Cerritos, even Long Beach, for crying out loud!  I'll be happy with any one of those!  Or, give me a name -- I parallel the San Gabriel River, so why not "San Gabriel River Freeway?"  I'm sick and tired of I-405 constantly bragging about being the freeway to San Diego.  You don't go anywhere near San Diego, nimrod!   :pan:

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent.  That's been building for quite a while.   :biggrin:

---Lets not double post in order to put two stories in a row please - ms
« Last Edit: September 30, 2009, 07:23:43 AM by Master son »
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SSOWorld

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Re: Stories of interstates
« Reply #5 on: September 30, 2009, 07:26:58 AM »

Hi, I'm I-76

and I'm I-84

and I-86

and I-88

[together]and we have evil twins out west, mwahahahaha!  We think I-74 has an identity crisis! mwahahahaha! :happy:
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Scott O.

Not all who wander are lost...
Ah, the open skies, wind at my back, warm sun on my... wait, where the hell am I?!
As a matter of fact, I do own the road.
Raise your what?

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kurumi

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Re: Stories of interstates
« Reply #6 on: September 30, 2009, 02:29:02 PM »

I'm I-295. No, not that one. Not that one either. Just listen for a second. I connect with I-95 on the east coast. No, not Providence, although that's very nice. Yes, 895, I heard about that. Richmond, too. Yes, but they're calling it VA 895.

No, that's the Jacksonville one. Do you really think we all look alike, you bigot? No, not New York; though I agree, that could have been called anything. Yes. Portland. Very good.

(Sigh) No, then I would have been I-205, right? Look at a map.

Yes, I'm longer now. You can probably tell. It's helped my confidence a lot with the other interstates.

-------

I go from Tampa / St. Pete to Daytona, via Orlando. I guess you could call me the vacation interstate... I know, I don't cross a state line. Actually, a lot of interstates don't. So what's your point?

-------

I-10 here. LA, Phoenix, San Antonio, Houston, New Orleans, Jacksonville. If it doesn't snow, that's where I go. Y'know, at my west Texas state line, it's actually closer to LA than it is to the east Texas line; and at the east Texas line, it's closer to JAX than to the west Texas line.

-------

Hi, I-99 here. Highest number in the nation. All you haters can suck it. Hey, I had a shirt like that... before I got a job. Is that your girlfriend? Oh, your wife? Nice ****s, but kind of a butterface. Not that it would matter in the dark.

Damn, that's a long line at the bar. 'Scuse me. Out of the way, old lady. Hey barkeep! Beer me! No? Do you know who I am? That's better. Make it two. Keep the change. What? Eleven-fifty? Here's a ten, I'll getcha back next time.

What a boring crowd here. Where's the hot women at? Guess I'll need those beer googles sooner than later... glug glug. Hey baby why don't you take that ring off, then come to my place and take everything else off Ow! What's your problem, b*tch?

Hey cutie, heaven must be missing an angel becBLAUUUAARGHHHHH
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ssummers72

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Re: Stories of interstates
« Reply #7 on: September 30, 2009, 02:51:13 PM »

Hi I'm I-294.

I go around Chicago connecting I-80/94 South of Chicago to I-94 North of Chicago. I once entered Indiana in the early 1960's along with I-80 and 90. Then I was pulled back to I-94 on the South side when I-90 moved to the Tollroad/Skyway. Then Indiana tried to extend me again in 1968 but the FHWA said no way.... So, I'm stuck with my tolls and congestion for the rest of my life skooting are Chicaga'

I came close to having a twin brother in Metro Detroit but he was replaced with I-275...what a drag.

Maybe I'll get a companion when the build the O'hare West Bypass..

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agentsteel53

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Re: Stories of interstates
« Reply #8 on: September 30, 2009, 04:04:11 PM »

I-99... the Glen Quagmire of interstate routes??
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Bryant5493

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Re: Stories of interstates
« Reply #9 on: September 30, 2009, 06:02:16 PM »

Hi, I'm I-285 and I encircle Atlanta.

Some kids from Georgia State University produced a video called 55: A Meditation on the Speed Limit, where they drove 55 m.p.h. across all lanes of traffic. Thought-provoking, but very dangerous.

I'm not signed as inner-outer. I have cardinal directions. I turn north, south, east and west. I'm north-south between I-85/Old National Hwy. and I-75 (Westside). I then turn east-west between I-75 and I-85 (Top End). I'm north-south again between I-85 and I-20 (Eastside), and I then become east-west again between I-20 and I-85 (Southside).

I'm over-worked. I really need an alternate (i.e., the Northern Arc).


Be well,

I-285
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WISFreeways

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Re: Stories of interstates
« Reply #10 on: September 30, 2009, 06:03:45 PM »

Hi. I'm I-394. My secret mission was to help my father not be scared of the Twin Cities(it was almost too late, but he managed to swerve just in time in the midst of the Lowry Hill neighborhood), but I told my brother that it was to help upgrade US 12.
I almost have a twin brother in Illinois, but they'll need to build the Peotone airport if they want to get me a twin brother.
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Ian

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Re: Stories of interstates
« Reply #11 on: September 30, 2009, 08:21:29 PM »

Whazzup dawg?? I'm I-476. My peeps south of Plymouth Meeting know me as my nick name The Blue Route, but my AIM screen name (some of my peeps call me that) is The Mid County Expressway. North of Plymouth Meeting, my homies call me the Northeast Extension, where I steel money from passers by who go through my tolls. I run from the great city of Philadelphia (well, more like Chester, but if I say that, I'll sound like a looser  :-() to north the small city of Scranton in the northeast (home to The Office!). My north end is at I-81 in Clarks Summit while my south end is at I-95. At 132 miles, I am the longest auxiliary interstate in the country! Take that I-495 in Massachusetts! In Springfield, I got me a junction with US 1 at a rare(ish) 3-level diamond interchange. In 1996, I was accused of the murder of PA route 9 north of Plymouth Meeting. Unfortunately, I plead guilty :-(. As punishment, I cause heavy backups on the Blue Route and at times, the Northeast Extension. That's bad for me because people don't want to drive me and they take alternate routes! Uh, so thats it!
« Last Edit: September 30, 2009, 08:28:25 PM by PennDOTFan »
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SSOWorld

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Re: Stories of interstates
« Reply #12 on: October 01, 2009, 02:04:28 PM »

I-894 here - from the department of redundancy department, I pretty much only exist because of the exit numbers.   Otherwise my North-South leg is essentially US 45 and my East-West Leg is essentially I-43.   :-/
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Scott O.

Not all who wander are lost...
Ah, the open skies, wind at my back, warm sun on my... wait, where the hell am I?!
As a matter of fact, I do own the road.
Raise your what?

Wisconsin - out-multiplexing your state since 1918.

mightyace

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Re: Stories of interstates
« Reply #13 on: October 01, 2009, 02:36:59 PM »

I-894 here - from the department of redundancy department, I pretty much only exist because of the exit numbers.   Otherwise my North-South leg is essentially US 45 and my East-West Leg is essentially I-43.   :-/

If only that pesky I-43 extension hadn't come along, I wouldn't feel so irrelevant.  I remember when I was the only number between US 45 and I-94.

Such is progress. <sigh>  X-(
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Re: Stories of interstates
« Reply #14 on: October 01, 2009, 04:11:41 PM »

Hi, I'm I-585.  Yes, the illegitimate one.  My daddy hates me so much that he moved just to get away from me.
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WISFreeways

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Re: Stories of interstates
« Reply #15 on: October 01, 2009, 05:03:51 PM »

My name is I-380.  Most people know me as the way to the San Francisco Airport.  But I have much bigger dreams.  When I grow up, I'd like to have my own bridge over San Francisco Bay, connecting to my big brother, I-880.  But alas, that's probably never going to happen.     :no:

And when I'm six feet under  :ded:, I'll extend toward the Cabrillo Hwy.

[Fixed quoting. -S.]
« Last Edit: October 02, 2009, 07:00:00 PM by Scott5114 »
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Scott5114

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Re: Stories of interstates
« Reply #16 on: October 02, 2009, 07:05:03 PM »

Oh, um, hello. I'm I-44. I connect Wichita Falls to St. Louis. Pardon my manners--would you like me to get you a drink? No? Oh, okay then. Well, yes, I do run through Oklahoma City, Tulsa, and Springfield, MO. I work for OTA...I'm their top source of income! Hey, it makes it up for them having me extended if I help them pay the bills. Don't want to seem ungrateful, you know. The guy I replaced was pretty well liked but it was time for him to retire, so, uh, here I am now! Let me know if you need anything!
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BigMattFromTexas

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Interstate 27- BigMatt
« Reply #17 on: October 02, 2009, 08:33:10 PM »

Well howdy, Im I-27, you know in North Texas, wait you don't? Prolly cause im so short i mean im only 124 miles long.  :eyebrow:
Well I kinda took over part of US 87 :ded:
I would love to get taller and maybe even grow South to hmm, Mexico? And definetly North towards, possibly Canada. :clap:
If that doesn't happen I'll prolly cry. :-( You don't want dat to happen do you? :no:
 A short story by BigMatt
« Last Edit: October 02, 2009, 08:38:23 PM by BigMatt »
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WISFreeways

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Re: Stories of interstates
« Reply #18 on: October 02, 2009, 09:32:27 PM »

Hi I'm I-794. I got bitten off by mayor John Norquist because he didnt want it to be built :ded:, but my tail still grew a little (Now WIS 794). The Blues Brothers went over the Hoan Bridge - to my then-dead tail while filming their movie. I also am Pennsylvania Ave to my tails terminus at College Ave.
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SSOWorld

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Re: Stories of interstates
« Reply #19 on: October 09, 2009, 05:56:02 PM »

I-305 here, not many people know who I am, really.  You would think I would be some freeway in San Diego or Los Angeles?  Nope.  I'm in Sacramento.  But no one would know that since I'm hidden.  I'm actually referred to as Business Loop I-80 or the Capital City Freeway. - at least part of it.  See they wouldn't let me have all of it because they told me it doesn't meet the standards.  I should be I-880.  The current I-880 should be I-180 and that California state route in Fresno should be a different number.  There are other freeways that don't meet standards that have interstate designations, why can't my junior cousin that is linked to me?
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Scott O.

Not all who wander are lost...
Ah, the open skies, wind at my back, warm sun on my... wait, where the hell am I?!
As a matter of fact, I do own the road.
Raise your what?

Wisconsin - out-multiplexing your state since 1918.

mapman

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Re: Stories of interstates
« Reply #20 on: October 09, 2009, 07:16:21 PM »

My name's I-980, and no one exactly knows where I came from.  I live in Downtown Oakland, California, but don't really go much of anywhere.  Can someone please extend me?  Please?  I hear Walnut Creek is nice.
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Re: Stories of interstates
« Reply #21 on: October 09, 2009, 10:54:34 PM »

As I-894, I forgot to mention that thanks to me, Chicago isn't the only city with an "L"...Milwaukee has one, too.  :sombrero:
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SSOWorld

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Re: Stories of interstates
« Reply #22 on: October 09, 2009, 11:32:51 PM »

As I-894, I forgot to mention that thanks to me, Chicago isn't the only city with an "L"...Milwaukee has one, too.  :sombrero:
FAIL :pan:

I-394 reporting in, make sure you're in the right lane on me.  If you're too far left, you better have a transponder from MN-DOT, cause you're about to be raped for a toll.  Of course - you can have someone hitch a ride with you and get away with it :P
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Scott O.

Not all who wander are lost...
Ah, the open skies, wind at my back, warm sun on my... wait, where the hell am I?!
As a matter of fact, I do own the road.
Raise your what?

Wisconsin - out-multiplexing your state since 1918.

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Re: Stories of interstates
« Reply #23 on: October 12, 2009, 02:34:29 AM »

I-395, here. The one that helps shuttle you to South Beach. Nobody likes me except for my parent. All the other roads like that backstabbing 836, or give me small shelds shoved to the bottom of a guide sign. My other siblings have tons of friends (I'm jealous of my sister I-595, she has a BFF who follows her everywhere).
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WISFreeways

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Re: Stories of interstates
« Reply #24 on: October 16, 2009, 08:35:27 PM »

I-305 here, not many people know who I am, really.  You would think I would be some freeway in San Diego or Los Angeles?  Nope.  I'm in Sacramento.  But no one would know that since I'm hidden.  I'm actually referred to as Business Loop I-80 or the Capital City Freeway. - at least part of it.  See they wouldn't let me have all of it because they told me it doesn't meet the standards.  I should be I-880.  The current I-880 should be I-180 and that California state route in Fresno should be a different number.  There are other freeways that don't meet standards that have interstate designations, why can't my junior cousin that is linked to me?
Ah, but the thing is, I-880 wants to be with his sprawling 8-through lane corridor (not to mention his BFF CA-17), NOT I-305  :-D
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