AARoads Forum

Non-Road Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: Hwy 61 Revisited on September 09, 2020, 01:53:24 PM

Title: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Hwy 61 Revisited on September 09, 2020, 01:53:24 PM
Hi. Trans gay female just wondering if there are any other LGBT roadgeeks on this thread. I only knew of three myself that are open about it--me, vtk (nb), and DJParticle (cis lesbian).

This is intended to be a support/alliance group. We do not welcome homophobes, transphobes, or other anti-LGBT people here.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: 1 on September 09, 2020, 01:56:06 PM
A third trans female joined recently. Only 7 posts so far.

https://www.aaroads.com/forum/index.php?topic=27544.0
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Hwy 61 Revisited on September 09, 2020, 02:10:38 PM
A third trans female joined recently. Only 7 posts so far.

https://www.aaroads.com/forum/index.php?topic=27544.0 (https://www.aaroads.com/forum/index.php?topic=27544.0)


Noted and posted.


BTW, are you LGBT? This is a judgment-free zone.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: 1 on September 09, 2020, 02:24:57 PM
A third trans female joined recently. Only 7 posts so far.

https://www.aaroads.com/forum/index.php?topic=27544.0 (https://www.aaroads.com/forum/index.php?topic=27544.0)


Noted and posted.


BTW, are you LGBT? This is a judgment-free zone.

No.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: 1995hoo on September 09, 2020, 02:28:39 PM
I don't fall into any of those categories and couldn't care less who does and does not, but I do know that the OP's list is incomplete. I feel it would be in exceptionally poor taste, and probably worthy of moderator sanctions, for anyone to post that sort of information about someone else unless it's 100% certain that person has openly acknowledged that he or she falls within those categories, so I will decline to name any specific individuals out of concern that I don't know whether those people would be OK with that.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Hwy 61 Revisited on September 09, 2020, 02:36:14 PM
I don't fall into any of those categories and couldn't care less who does and does not, but I do know that the OP's list is incomplete. I feel it would be in exceptionally poor taste, and probably worthy of moderator sanctions, for anyone to post that sort of information about someone else unless it's 100% certain that person has openly acknowledged that they fall within those categories, so I will decline to name any specific individuals out of concern that I don't know whether those people would be OK with that.


Understood. Removed their names for the sake of anonymity.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: 1 on September 09, 2020, 02:37:53 PM
I don't fall into any of those categories and couldn't care less who does and does not, but I do know that the OP's list is incomplete. I feel it would be in exceptionally poor taste, and probably worthy of moderator sanctions, for anyone to post that sort of information about someone else unless it's 100% certain that person has openly acknowledged that they fall within those categories, so I will decline to name any specific individuals out of concern that I don't know whether those people would be OK with that.


Understood. Removed their names for the sake of anonymity.

The users you mentioned have all said it publicly on this forum.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: 1995hoo on September 09, 2020, 02:46:20 PM
I don't fall into any of those categories and couldn't care less who does and does not, but I do know that the OP's list is incomplete. I feel it would be in exceptionally poor taste, and probably worthy of moderator sanctions, for anyone to post that sort of information about someone else unless it's 100% certain that person has openly acknowledged that they fall within those categories, so I will decline to name any specific individuals out of concern that I don't know whether those people would be OK with that.


Understood. Removed their names for the sake of anonymity.

I didn't mean that as criticism of your post, and I apologize if my comment was unclear. As "1" notes, I know at least one of the posters you mentioned had publicly stated it on this forum—that person even started a thread about it. I don't know about the other person you mentioned, but I have no reason to question what "1" says. If someone publicly stated it on the forum, then I don't think the moderators would have a problem with other people mentioning it. I was simply noting that I am aware that the list you had posted was incomplete but that I was uncomfortable identifying anyone because I wasn't certain whether that information was known about the people I know of who weren't on your list.

Sorry to write that in such a convoluted way. I'm trying to be really careful in how I word things, but I'm also trying to make it clear that insofar as I know, there was nothing wrong with what you posted. My point is more along the lines of, if I know that John Doe claims to be a woman, but I don't know whether that fact is not generally known, then I wouldn't feel it's my place to mention that about John Doe.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Hwy 61 Revisited on September 09, 2020, 02:55:52 PM
I don't fall into any of those categories and couldn't care less who does and does not, but I do know that the OP's list is incomplete. I feel it would be in exceptionally poor taste, and probably worthy of moderator sanctions, for anyone to post that sort of information about someone else unless it's 100% certain that person has openly acknowledged that they fall within those categories, so I will decline to name any specific individuals out of concern that I don't know whether those people would be OK with that.


Understood. Removed their names for the sake of anonymity.

The users you mentioned have all said it publicly on this forum.

I knew that, I just wanted to abide by 1995's instructions. Didn't want to single anyone out, really.

....if I know that John Doe claims to be a woman, but I don't know whether that fact is not generally known, then I wouldn't feel it's my place to mention that about John Doe.

Trans people don't claim they're the gender with which they identify; they are it. Trans women are women, trans men are men, and nonbinary people are nonbinary, regardless of what their sex assigned at birth was. People don't usually pretend to be trans for clout--if they did, they would be at risk of receiving useless transphobia.

But again, if "John"--in this case more likely "Jane"--wasn't out as trans yet, it would be bad to out her. But if she were out and did mention it, then it would be safe to do, as 1 mentioned.

Just giving you some advice in the future.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Hwy 61 Revisited on September 09, 2020, 08:59:58 PM
wow i'm feeling so proud to be myself today  :spin:
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: kurumi on September 09, 2020, 09:42:04 PM
wow i'm feeling so proud to be myself today  :spin:

Good, I'm glad you're here and I hope you always feel welcome. You've posted a lot of good stuff.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: jmd41280 on September 09, 2020, 10:31:39 PM
wow i'm feeling so proud to be myself today  :spin:

From one PA resident (albeit the opposite corner from you) to another, I am definitely happy for you and wish you the best.
Title: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: STLmapboy on September 09, 2020, 10:31:51 PM
Sorry to write that in such a convoluted way. I'm trying to be really careful in how I word things, but I'm also trying to make it clear that insofar as I know, there was nothing wrong with what you posted. My point is more along the lines of, if I know that John Doe claims to be a woman, but I don't know whether that fact is not generally known, then I wouldn't feel it's my place to mention that about John Doe.
But according to the movie Seven, John Doe is a man :D
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Duke87 on September 09, 2020, 10:36:47 PM
"road trips with both straight and gay - lodging issues"

*shrug* hotel rooms come with two beds, no one is asking you to spoon each other.

Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Hwy 61 Revisited on September 10, 2020, 12:23:55 AM
Sorry to write that in such a convoluted way. I'm trying to be really careful in how I word things, but I'm also trying to make it clear that insofar as I know, there was nothing wrong with what you posted. My point is more along the lines of, if I know that John Doe claims to be a woman, but I don't know whether that fact is not generally known, then I wouldn't feel it's my place to mention that about John Doe.
But according to the movie Seven, John Doe is a man :D
bruh
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: kphoger on September 10, 2020, 11:01:09 AM

"road trips with both straight and gay - lodging issues"

*shrug* hotel rooms come with two beds, no one is asking you to spoon each other.

Cue...

Quote from: Seinfield, Season 4, Episode 17 'The Outing'
Not that there's anything wrong with that!
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Hwy 61 Revisited on September 10, 2020, 11:34:27 AM
Hi. Trans gay female just wondering if there are any other LGBT roadgeeks on this thread. I only knew of three myself that are open about it--me, vtk (nb), and DJParticle (cis lesbian).

This is intended to be a support/alliance group. We do not welcome homophobes, transphobes, or other anti-LGBT people here.

I'm pretty darn gay, myself.  Some folks here might already know that.


Welcome to the club!  :cheers:
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: NWI_Irish96 on September 10, 2020, 12:05:26 PM
"road trips with both straight and gay - lodging issues"

*shrug* hotel rooms come with two beds, no one is asking you to spoon each other.



I had a gay roommate in college for 1½ years--was never an issue. At this point in my life though, I have no interest in sharing a hotel room with anybody other than my wife and kids, regardless of orientation.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: A.J. Bertin on September 10, 2020, 02:28:03 PM
This is a topic that I personally appreciate.  I'm a cis gay man... came out to myself in 1997 and gradually came out to friends and family over the years since then.  I joined the roadgeek community in 2003 and was pretty much "out" from the get-go when I joined this overwhelmingly supportive community.  Not every single person in the roadgeek community is an LGBT ally, but most are.

There are a lot of LGBT folks within the roadgeek community... some who are active on the AARoads forum; some who are not.  Some who attend road meets; some who don't.  My partner/husband has attended a few road meets with me over the years (at least the meal portion of a few meets), but for the most part he's not interested in what we do... but he supports my interest and my desire to attend road meets on my own.

I'm glad you posted this topic!!  It's always nice to see more LGBT folks within our community.  :D
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: kphoger on September 10, 2020, 02:40:02 PM
Not every single person in the roadgeek community is an LGBT ally, but most are.

Well, I should hope that one doesn't need to be an 'ally' in order to be civil, friendly, and even welcoming to members.
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: A.J. Bertin on September 10, 2020, 02:45:29 PM
Not every single person in the roadgeek community is an LGBT ally, but most are.

Well, I should hope that one doesn't need to be an 'ally' in order to be civil, friendly, and even welcoming to members.

You make a good point.  Perhaps what I should have said was, "Most folks within the roadgeek community are friendly and welcoming to LGBT folks."  I consider many of the roadgeek friends I've made over the years to be "allies".
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Ketchup99 on September 10, 2020, 02:49:48 PM
I've gone back and forth on this for a little bit. Obviously I'm only 17, so any of this could change. I'm a cis male, and I thought I might be gay for a little while, but then ended up with a girlfriend and I'm happy about that. I think I might be bi, but I'm not quite sure. Ultimately, my attitude at present is "it is what it is" and there's no need to sort myself nicely into any box, and who knows. Maybe one day I will, maybe I won't, but at least at this point I don't really feel any pressure, either from myself or anyone else, to do that.
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: kphoger on September 10, 2020, 02:56:33 PM


Not every single person in the roadgeek community is an LGBT ally, but most are.

Well, I should hope that one doesn't need to be an 'ally' in order to be civil, friendly, and even welcoming to members.

You make a good point.  Perhaps what I should have said was, "Most folks within the roadgeek community are friendly and welcoming to LGBT folks."  I consider many of the roadgeek friends I've made over the years to be "allies".

Frankly, I don't care about members' love/sex lives—whether straight or gay.  That's not why I'm on this forum.
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: SEWIGuy on September 10, 2020, 03:20:31 PM


Not every single person in the roadgeek community is an LGBT ally, but most are.

Well, I should hope that one doesn't need to be an 'ally' in order to be civil, friendly, and even welcoming to members.

You make a good point.  Perhaps what I should have said was, "Most folks within the roadgeek community are friendly and welcoming to LGBT folks."  I consider many of the roadgeek friends I've made over the years to be "allies".

Frankly, I don't care about members' love/sex lives—whether straight or gay.  That's not why I'm on this forum.


LGBTQ identity is more than about one's "love / sex life"
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: 1 on September 10, 2020, 03:33:02 PM


Not every single person in the roadgeek community is an LGBT ally, but most are.

Well, I should hope that one doesn't need to be an 'ally' in order to be civil, friendly, and even welcoming to members.

You make a good point.  Perhaps what I should have said was, "Most folks within the roadgeek community are friendly and welcoming to LGBT folks."  I consider many of the roadgeek friends I've made over the years to be "allies".

Frankly, I don't care about members' love/sex lives—whether straight or gay.  That's not why I'm on this forum.


LGBTQ identity is more than about one's "love / sex life"

I see LGBTQ as two separate categories mixed together that probably shouldn't be.

The first is being gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Your own gender is normal, but you are attracted to a different set of people than you normally would be.

Transgender, genderfluid, no gender at all, etc. is the second category. Here, it's your own gender that's unusual. This group is much rarer than the first group.
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: kphoger on September 10, 2020, 03:34:00 PM
LGBTQ identity is more than about one's "love / sex life"

OK.  I don't care about people's 'identity' on here—whether straight or gay—either.  That's not why I'm on the forum.

I see LGBTQ as two separate categories mixed together that probably shouldn't be.

I've been thinking that for a while now.
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Hwy 61 Revisited on September 10, 2020, 03:37:51 PM


Not every single person in the roadgeek community is an LGBT ally, but most are.

Well, I should hope that one doesn't need to be an 'ally' in order to be civil, friendly, and even welcoming to members.

You make a good point.  Perhaps what I should have said was, "Most folks within the roadgeek community are friendly and welcoming to LGBT folks."  I consider many of the roadgeek friends I've made over the years to be "allies".

Frankly, I don't care about members' love/sex lives—whether straight or gay.  That's not why I'm on this forum.


LGBTQ identity is more than about one's "love / sex life"

I see LGBTQ as two separate categories mixed together that probably shouldn't be.

The first is being gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Your own gender is normal, but you are attracted to a different set of people than you normally would be.

Transgender, genderfluid, no gender at all, etc. is the second category. Here, it's your own gender that's unusual. This group is much rarer than the first group.

Don't LGB and TQ people suffer the same struggles, and often get conflated together? People think trans women are just gay men. So I guess in their minds I'm straight.

Also, there's a third category: intersex (I) people. Intersex people can be of any gender, but it's the sexual characteristics (chromosomes, parts, etc.) that are unusual.
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Scott5114 on September 10, 2020, 03:50:35 PM
LGBTQ identity is more than about one's "love / sex life"

OK.  I don't care about people's 'identity' on here—whether straight or gay—either.  That's not why I'm on the forum.

People's identities matter a great deal to them, though. And to people who share that identity, trying to find others like themselves.
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: kphoger on September 10, 2020, 03:51:09 PM
Don't LGB and TQ people suffer the same struggles...

But that shouldn't make them the same category.  (Goodness, doesn't the term category sound cold when referring to people?)

, and often get conflated together?

But whose fault is that?  Or, in other words, which came first?

I'd say the large majority of people had never even heard of the term 'transgender' or thought about the people the term represents before the T was added to the end of LGB.  If that T hadn't been appended to LGB, then perhaps people wouldn't be so prone to conflate the terms.

People think trans women are just gay men. So I guess in their minds I'm straight.

People think trans women are just gay men only if they are involved with men.  But it would be silly to think of a trans woman who's involved with a woman as 'gay'.

As an example:  My wife's uncle underwent a sex change to become a woman, then became involved with a woman who had undergone a sex change to become a man—who, crazily enough, had changed her first name to the same name as my wife's uncle had left behind.  In my mind at least, the transsexual thing is a separate deal from the gay/straight thing.

One big hang-up, I think, is that gender can be a very visible thing, whereas sexuality isn't necessarily so visible.
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: kphoger on September 10, 2020, 03:52:42 PM


LGBTQ identity is more than about one's "love / sex life"

OK.  I don't care about people's 'identity' on here—whether straight or gay—either.  That's not why I'm on the forum.

People's identities matter a great deal to them, though. And to people who share that identity, trying to find others like themselves.

Totally.  I guess this was my obtuse way of saying a person's 'identity' isn't going to make me any more or less likely to enjoy their discussion of road-related things on an internet forum.  And, really, I think it's strange that it would for anybody.
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Scott5114 on September 10, 2020, 04:03:24 PM


LGBTQ identity is more than about one's "love / sex life"

OK.  I don't care about people's 'identity' on here—whether straight or gay—either.  That's not why I'm on the forum.

People's identities matter a great deal to them, though. And to people who share that identity, trying to find others like themselves.

Totally.  I guess this was my obtuse way of saying a person's 'identity' isn't going to make me any more or less likely to enjoy their discussion of road-related things on an internet forum.  And, really, I think it's strange that it would for anybody.

There's a camaraderie among LGBT+ people that straight and cis people don't really understand. It's probably part bonding over the shared struggle, and part feeling more comfortable being around people like yourself, that you don't have to walk on eggshells and risk being judged or misinterpreted (which can accidentally happen by even the most well-meaning straight person).

LGBT+ people often have social circles that are primarily fellow LGBT+ people for that reason.
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: kphoger on September 10, 2020, 04:08:33 PM
That's the natural course of human interaction.  We bond with people we share something in common with, especially if that something is a Pretty Big ThingTM.
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Scott5114 on September 10, 2020, 04:12:41 PM
Don't LGB and TQ people suffer the same struggles...

But that shouldn't make them the same category.  (Goodness, doesn't the term category sound cold when referring to people?)

There are support systems (programs, groups, communities, etc.) that LGB individuals use that would also be of use to T individuals, which is why they are part of the same "category". Obviously, transgender folks have lots of additional needs that cis folks don't. But the social support is still helpful.

Also, my understanding is that the term "transsexual", while once common (cf Rocky Horror), is now considered gauche. "Transgender" is preferable, and more accurate anyway, since someone can change their gender presentation without necessarily wanting to alter their physical sex.
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Scott5114 on September 10, 2020, 04:45:13 PM
Part of the terminology issue is that "sex" and "gender" are actually not synonyms when used in this context; "sex" tends to designate the physiological parts of the equation while "gender" addresses the mental and societal parts. Not being transgender myself, I'm not going to make a fool of myself talking over people who know better, but if you wish to know more, that's probably a good place to start.
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: kphoger on September 10, 2020, 04:53:17 PM
Part of the terminology issue is that "sex" and "gender" are actually not synonyms when used in this context; "sex" tends to designate the physiological parts of the equation while "gender" addresses the mental and societal parts.

I know.  Precisely.  My wife's uncle had surgery to change from male to female.  Thus I view the act as a "sex" change, thus the term "transsexual".
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Hwy 61 Revisited on September 10, 2020, 05:29:23 PM
It may shock you to learn that I'm not too concerned about keeping up with what terms are in and which are out during a given year.[/sarcasm]  If I meant anyone offense by using the term, then I apologize, but please understand it wasn't intended.  In common conversation, I use the term 'sex' instead of 'gender' when referring to male vs female.  Thus, when I speak of a male undergoing a sex change to become a female, I naturally think of that as 'transsexual'.  Sex→transsexual is a more logical connection in my mind than Sex→transgender.


Not all trans people want gender confirmation surgery, hence why transgender is more common than transsexual. Transsexual also creates a heirarchical system for trans people--as if you aren't really trans because you don't want the other parts.


Male and female are not mutually exclusive. People can be somewhere in between (nonbinary/genderqueer), both (bigender), neither (agender), or something else entirely (third gender). They can also switch between genders (genderfluid).


My wife's aunt underwent a sex change to become a woman, then became involved with a trans man—who, crazily enough, had changed his first name to the same name as my wife's aunt had left behind.

When you refer to a trans person, you refer to them by the gender and pronouns they identify as. Lana and Lilly Wachowski are women who use she/her pronouns, and they should be referred to by those names unless it is necessary to mention their deadnames (such as their date of birth and what they were called then).

Oh BTW, is your aunt Lana Wachowski? She's dating a trans man.
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: hbelkins on September 10, 2020, 06:06:00 PM
I'd say the large majority of people had never even heard of the term 'transgender' or thought about the people the term represents before the T was added to the end of LGB.  If that T hadn't been appended to LGB, then perhaps people wouldn't be so prone to conflate the terms.

Someone mentioned "Rocky Horror" (which, BTW, I've never seen, and have no plans to.) What's the song in that movie? A transvestite transsexual from Transylvania? I know they were going for alliteration there.

More than just the T has been added to LGB. And even then there are questions as to what the T and the other letters stand for. Is T "transvestite," "transgender," "transsexual," or something else? I've heard it applied to "transitioning" as well. And then there's "QIA+" The Q is said to stand for "queer," which used to be a derogatory term just slightly less offensive than the three-letter f-word. But is it now acceptable, just as the n-word that ends with "a" is OK but the one that ends with "er" isn't? Or does Q stand for "questioning?" And the I and the A? Does A stand for "allies" or "asexual?" And the I? "Interested," "intersexual," or perhaps even "incel?" (Possible definition here, which cautions against saying that "Q" stands for "queer." (https://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/ct_lgbtqia_letters_defined-htmlstory.html))

I've always been one that questioned the lumping of all these different demographics, particularly the LGB and the T groups, together in one whole group. It would be like grouping all Hispanics together, when they have very different priorities and beliefs (thinking specifically about Mexican nationals and Cuban nationals.) There may be some shared pigmentation tendencies and a shared language, but there's otherwise very little in common between Mexican Hispanics and Cuban Hispanics other than both Mexico and Cuba are south of the United States.

Ditto for those who lump supporters of medicinal marijuana, recreational marijuana, and industrial hemp into one group. The goals of each of those three groups are different, yet they often are included together to the point where it appears that those supporting industrial hemp or medicinal marijuana (which many support) are being joined by those who support recreational use so they can use those unrelated issues as a Trojan horse to get the door open for eventual full legalization.

But to comment directly on some of the things brought up in posts such as this one:
I guess this was my obtuse way of saying a person's 'identity' isn't going to make me any more or less likely to enjoy their discussion of road-related things on an internet forum.  And, really, I think it's strange that it would for anybody.

And the original post in the thread:

Hi. Trans gay female just wondering if there are any other LGBT roadgeeks on this thread. I only knew of three myself that are open about it--me, vtk (nb), and DJParticle (cis lesbian).

This is intended to be a support/alliance group. We do not welcome homophobes, transphobes, or other anti-LGBT people here.

I'm more likely to look upon you adversely and judgmentally if you like and support roundabouts as opposed to this other stuff!  :bigass: Or if you are bigoted against Clearview for irrational reasons!  :-D :-D Or if you prefer those OAPL (or APL, if you prefer) monstrosities over older diagrammatic or pull-through overheads.  :) :)

(And to address the naming of names, there are a number of others I know of besides the names that were apparently mentioned, deleted, and then re-added; some of whom are on the forum and others who aren't but are active in other roadgeek channels or were on MTR back in the day. But it's up to each individual to disclose how much or how little of their personal details they want to make known. I don't believe in involuntary outing. Some participants are hesitant to even make their real names known on this forum, to the point where some people get upset if you use someone's real name to refer to them instead of their forum user name.)
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: josh7377 on September 10, 2020, 08:18:39 PM
This is a topic that I personally appreciate.  I'm a cis gay man... came out to myself in 1997 and gradually came out to friends and family over the years since then.  I joined the roadgeek community in 2003 and was pretty much "out" from the get-go when I joined this overwhelmingly supportive community.  Not every single person in the roadgeek community is an LGBT ally, but most are.

There are a lot of LGBT folks within the roadgeek community... some who are active on the AARoads forum; some who are not.  Some who attend road meets; some who don't.  My partner/husband has attended a few road meets with me over the years (at least the meal portion of a few meets), but for the most part he's not interested in what we do... but he supports my interest and my desire to attend road meets on my own.

I'm glad you posted this topic!!  It's always nice to see more LGBT folks within our community.  :D

Nice to hear sentiments like this.  I recently joined this forum and have enjoyed reading stuff about roads even though I haven't really posted anything yet.  However, as a gay male, it's nice to know that this group is mostly open-minded!

--josh
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Hwy 61 Revisited on September 10, 2020, 11:19:46 PM
I'm more likely to look upon you adversely and judgmentally if you like and support roundabouts as opposed to this other stuff!  :bigass: 


Thanks for the support.


please don't shame roundabouts
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: paulthemapguy on September 10, 2020, 11:33:05 PM
Wanted to mention that even at roadmeets you'll find LGBT folks.  Every roadmeet I've been to has had some contingency of LGBT individuals--not all of whom are "out" to everyone, so it's important not to divulge who they are here.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: cl94 on September 10, 2020, 11:59:59 PM
Wanted to mention that even at roadmeets you'll find LGBT folks.  Every roadmeet I've been to has had some contingency of LGBT individuals--not all of whom are "out" to everyone, so it's important not to divulge who they are here.

I don't think I have ever been to a meet WITHOUT an LGBT individual. There are far more "active" LGBT+ roadgeeks than most people know. I...has there ever been a meet with more than 5 people that didn't have at least one LGBT+ person? Most of decent size have at least 2, I have seen as many as 5 that I knew were at a single meet.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: frankenroad on September 11, 2020, 12:04:11 PM
I've gone back and forth on this for a little bit. Obviously I'm only 17, so any of this could change. I'm a cis male, and I thought I might be gay for a little while, but then ended up with a girlfriend and I'm happy about that. I think I might be bi, but I'm not quite sure. Ultimately, my attitude at present is "it is what it is" and there's no need to sort myself nicely into any box, and who knows. Maybe one day I will, maybe I won't, but at least at this point I don't really feel any pressure, either from myself or anyone else, to do that.

That seems like a very healthy approach to life.  I wish I'd had that level of self-awareness when I was 17.   
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Hwy 61 Revisited on September 12, 2020, 01:32:48 PM
I've gone back and forth on this for a little bit. Obviously I'm only 17, so any of this could change. I'm a cis male, and I thought I might be gay for a little while, but then ended up with a girlfriend and I'm happy about that. I think I might be bi, but I'm not quite sure. Ultimately, my attitude at present is "it is what it is" and there's no need to sort myself nicely into any box, and who knows. Maybe one day I will, maybe I won't, but at least at this point I don't really feel any pressure, either from myself or anyone else, to do that.

That seems like a very healthy approach to life.  I wish I'd had that level of self-awareness when I was 17.


I have this level of self-awareness at seventeen, but I was repressed for the longest time. I literally didn't figure out I was trans until, like, 2 1/2 months ago.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: logan230 on September 13, 2020, 07:30:15 PM
I'm pretty late but I'd like to mention I'm bisexual and agender (edit 2022: trans girl) :)

Nice to see some other LGBT roadgeeks here!
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: vdeane on September 13, 2020, 08:28:32 PM
How would you know, unless the person announces it in some way?  I've only been to one meet, and I neither know that nor even thought to wonder.
Let's just say that there are people in this hobby who know each other beyond meets and this forum.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Baloo Uriza on September 13, 2020, 09:03:37 PM
Hi. Trans gay female just wondering if there are any other LGBT roadgeeks on this thread. I only knew of three myself that are open about it--me, vtk (nb), and DJParticle (cis lesbian).

Bisexual cismale here.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Baloo Uriza on September 13, 2020, 09:39:45 PM
I was originally just replying that one doesn't need to be an 'ally'—or even care about it—to welcome people here.

I strongly hold the opinion that if you're not an ally, you have no place in society, whatsoever.


Just because somebody is different than you, or has a different like from you, doesn't deem you a freak. Somehow my parents haven't gotten that memo yet.

Wow, also, ouch.  I feel for you!  Hopefully some day they'll be the cool parents. 

Meanwhile when I or my husband go to my parents, we better be in a fish mood since they know of our fursonas and we're definitely getting some lighthearted teasing about.  On the other hand, this usually means salmon dinner.  Getting taken to Sushi Train (which uses a G scale model railroad instead of a sushi conveyor) was just multiple layers.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: logan230 on September 13, 2020, 09:57:25 PM
I was originally just replying that one doesn't need to be an 'ally'—or even care about it—to welcome people here.

I strongly hold the opinion that if you're not an ally, you have no place in society, whatsoever.

I wouldn't go this extreme but I do agree that there's basically no reason not to be an ally.
Most homophobia/etc comes from ignorance. Those kind of people need to have an open mind and a new perspective. At the same time it's important to see where they come from as well, so that they can be educated and can come to at the very least tolerate LGBT people.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Hwy 61 Revisited on September 13, 2020, 11:51:55 PM
I was originally just replying that one doesn't need to be an 'ally'—or even care about it—to welcome people here.

I strongly hold the opinion that if you're not an ally, you have no place in society, whatsoever.


Just because somebody is different than you, or has a different like from you, doesn't deem you a freak. Somehow my parents haven't gotten that memo yet.

Wow, also, ouch.  I feel for you!  Hopefully some day they'll be the cool parents. 

Meanwhile when I or my husband go to my parents, we better be in a fish mood since they know of our fursonas and we're definitely getting some lighthearted teasing about.  On the other hand, this usually means salmon dinner.  Getting taken to Sushi Train (which uses a G scale model railroad instead of a sushi conveyor) was just multiple layers.


I'm not out yet though.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Ned Weasel on September 14, 2020, 06:59:11 AM
On the other hand, this usually means salmon dinner.  Getting taken to Sushi Train (which uses a G scale model railroad instead of a sushi conveyor) was just multiple layers.

Wait, is that like this place: http://fritzskc.com/ , except with sushi on a train instead of burgers and fries?
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: index on September 14, 2020, 03:26:34 PM
Hmm. I tend not to focus on stuff like this, I'm not really that big on identity related stuff, and I usually never bring it up but this is a relevant thread so here comes a relevant response.

Yuh huh, I'm one of them, specifically on the asexual spectrum, attraction is not completely absent but I do experience it to a certain extent, towards the 'G' part of things. I can't pinpoint it exactly, hard to describe but it's not that big a deal for me.

As for the acronym I think using LGBT, LGBTQ, LGBTQIA, etc, and all its other variants is kind of unoptimal, and not because I don't support it, I fully support the demographic, but because it can tend to get increasingly verbose for lack of a better term and there's always arguments about inclusion or what means what. This would be solved by just using GRSM - gender, romantic and sexual minorities. Includes everything you can think of under the sun.
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: kphoger on September 14, 2020, 03:29:32 PM
Hmm. I tend not to focus on stuff like this, I'm not really that big on identity related stuff, and I usually never bring it up but this is a relevant thread so here comes a relevant response.

Yuh huh, I'm one of them, specifically on the asexual spectrum, attraction is not completely absent but I do experience it to a certain extent, towards the 'G' part of things. I can't pinpoint it exactly, hard to describe but it's not that big a deal for me.

As for the acronym I think using LGBT, LGBTQ, LGBTQIA, etc, and all its other variants is kind of unoptimal, and not because I don't support it, I fully support the demographic, but because it can tend to get increasingly verbose for lack of a better term and there's always arguments about inclusion or what means what. This would be solved by just using GRSM - gender, romantic and sexual minorities. Includes everything you can think of under the sun.

Doesn't that still leave the possibility that some people get lumped together under the umbrella who don't really want to be lumped together?
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: 1 on September 14, 2020, 03:56:27 PM
An ally is part of the LGBTQ+ group (hence the A in some of the extended abbreviations) despite being straight. I support the group, but I am not an ally as I don't identify as being part of the group.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Ketchup99 on September 14, 2020, 04:03:51 PM
An ally is part of the LGBTQ+ group (hence the A in some of the extended abbreviations) despite being straight. I support the group, but I am not an ally as I don't identify as being part of the group.
The A stands, usually, for asexual or aromantic (although I've heard it stand for agender too). It does not stand for ally. Being an ally just means someone who supports the rights of LGBTQ+ people, it does not mean that you are a part of that community. It's the same thing as a racial justice ally - supporting the rights of non-white people doesn't make you a person of color.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: ErmineNotyours on October 11, 2020, 12:04:19 AM
Hi. Trans gay female just wondering if there are any other LGBT roadgeeks on this thread. I only knew of three myself that are open about it--me, vtk (nb), and DJParticle (cis lesbian).


Wow, I hadn't even noticed her name before, and I have read threads she participated in.  She was part of the podcast lineup at Mad Music.com (https://www.madmusic.com/series/16/Revenge_of_the_Particle), and she's still on promos on the show I usually listen to, A-Log On the Airwaves. (https://www.madmusic.com/series/21/A-Log_on_the_Airwaves)  The host of that show turned up in a National Geographic article on autism.  Small world.
Title: Re: Re: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: hbelkins on October 11, 2020, 06:18:03 PM
An ally is part of the LGBTQ+ group (hence the A in some of the extended abbreviations) despite being straight. I support the group, but I am not an ally as I don't identify as being part of the group.
The A stands, usually, for asexual or aromantic (although I've heard it stand for agender too). It does not stand for ally. Being an ally just means someone who supports the rights of LGBTQ+ people, it does not mean that you are a part of that community. It's the same thing as a racial justice ally - supporting the rights of non-white people doesn't make you a person of color.

My first thought upon a cursory reading of this was, "I've heard of people who have 'gaydar' before, but there are people who can tell by smell?" But that would be aromatic, not aromantic.  :-D

BTW, "aromantic" was flagged as a misspelling by my browser.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Desert Man on October 11, 2020, 08:32:46 PM
Talk about my ability to play the ID pol (identity politics) card, I'm in 3 communities: LGBTQ (genderfluid "hetero" bio-male), in the ASD (Autism) and BIPOC (stands for Black, Indigenous and People of Color, I happen to have Native American/Cherokee ancestry). No matter how diverse we are on this forum, we all get together and can get along fine while we discuss roads and other topics that interest us. In the year 2020, despite we came a long way in the awareness, tolerance and acceptance of LGBTQ people, we have a long way to go until the majority of people in this country (the USA) reject homophobia, biphobia and transphobia.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Hwy 61 Revisited on October 14, 2020, 12:11:27 AM
I think allies can come on, but this is meant to be a more educational and supportive group.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Alps on October 14, 2020, 12:12:58 AM
Hi, everyone. To bring things back to a sense of normalcy, I've restored the productive discussion about LBGTQ+, what it means, what it means to be an ally, etc. I've restored some of the inoffensive humor. I've taken away meta-discussion about locking threads, removing posts, etc. This forum is not intended to censor, but on the other hand, we are in Off Topic, so expect the moderating staff to have a heavier hand here than usual.

Keep in mind that for many people, the things they're disclosing in this thread are intensely personal and private, and they view this as a safe space. Let's leave this primarily for those people, but let's also feel free to interact with them and grow our community. I'd rather leave this thread unlocked in that spirit, and hopefully we can all move forward together. Thanks for bearing with us.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Alps on October 14, 2020, 12:14:41 AM
An ally is part of the LGBTQ+ group (hence the A in some of the extended abbreviations) despite being straight. I support the group, but I am not an ally as I don't identify as being part of the group.
My understanding is that no, allies are NOT part of the group. This is based on my discussions with (and posts by) my LBGTQ+ friends. Allies can support the community, join them and fight with them, but they are a distinct group. It's an important distinction, just like those of us who are not African-American/black can join their cause and support them, but cannot become them.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: index on October 14, 2020, 09:36:06 AM
An ally is part of the LGBTQ+ group (hence the A in some of the extended abbreviations) despite being straight. I support the group, but I am not an ally as I don't identify as being part of the group.
My understanding is that no, allies are NOT part of the group. This is based on my discussions with (and posts by) my LBGTQ+ friends. Allies can support the community, join them and fight with them, but they are a distinct group. It's an important distinction, just like those of us who are not African-American/black can join their cause and support them, but cannot become them.
Most other folks I know part of the demographic say the A, when used, means asexual.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: kphoger on October 14, 2020, 10:51:46 AM
I appreciate both the moderator cleanup of this thread, and even moreso the reintroduction of previously deleted posts.  In fact, I'm a little surprised at how many of my own posts were allowed back on the thread.

For those who had a chip on their shoulder similar to mine about heavy-handed moderation:  this, to me, was a clear case of unintended consequences sprouting from good intentions.  Such has been corrected with a decidedly liberal hand, removing unnecessary clutter but otherwise restoring most of the relevant discussion from members with differing viewpoints.




An ally is part of the LGBTQ+ group (hence the A in some of the extended abbreviations) despite being straight. I support the group, but I am not an ally as I don't identify as being part of the group.

My understanding is that no, allies are NOT part of the group. This is based on my discussions with (and posts by) my LBGTQ+ friends. Allies can support the community, join them and fight with them, but they are a distinct group. It's an important distinction, just like those of us who are not African-American/black can join their cause and support them, but cannot become them.

And so, with that, let's all put to bed the discussion about what the letters really mean.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Alps on October 15, 2020, 09:17:22 PM
An ally is part of the LGBTQ+ group (hence the A in some of the extended abbreviations) despite being straight. I support the group, but I am not an ally as I don't identify as being part of the group.
My understanding is that no, allies are NOT part of the group. This is based on my discussions with (and posts by) my LBGTQ+ friends. Allies can support the community, join them and fight with them, but they are a distinct group. It's an important distinction, just like those of us who are not African-American/black can join their cause and support them, but cannot become them.
Most other folks I know part of the demographic say the A, when used, means asexual.

Those who identify as ace or aro (aromantic, as had been noted below) appreciate being included as the A.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Hwy 61 Revisited on October 16, 2020, 05:37:02 PM
An ally is part of the LGBTQ+ group (hence the A in some of the extended abbreviations) despite being straight. I support the group, but I am not an ally as I don't identify as being part of the group.
My understanding is that no, allies are NOT part of the group. This is based on my discussions with (and posts by) my LBGTQ+ friends. Allies can support the community, join them and fight with them, but they are a distinct group. It's an important distinction, just like those of us who are not African-American/black can join their cause and support them, but cannot become them.
Most other folks I know part of the demographic say the A, when used, means asexual.

Those who identify as ace or aro (aromantic, as had been noted below) appreciate being included as the A.


I myself am ace, but not aro. I'm homoro.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: hbelkins on October 16, 2020, 08:38:30 PM
Ace? What does he have to do with this?

(https://static.billboard.com/files/media/ace-frehley-650-compressed.jpg)
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: Hwy 61 Revisited on October 16, 2020, 08:59:27 PM
Ace? What does he have to do with this?

(https://static.billboard.com/files/media/ace-frehley-650-compressed.jpg)
Oh yeah, I saw him in concert.
He was... okay.
Title: Re: LGBT+ Roadgeeks
Post by: LilianaUwU on October 16, 2020, 11:33:59 PM
A third trans female joined recently. Only 7 posts so far.

https://www.aaroads.com/forum/index.php?topic=27544.0

Hey, that's me! :D