Perspective growing up verses adulthood

[Scott5114]

Reads more to me like he feels like he belongs in a world that no longer exists.

[zachary_amaryllis]

All I know, is that as I get older, I am also becoming less and less relevant.

To whom or to what?

Hard for me to put into words, but let's try.

I lived $ELSEWHERE for almost 15 years. When I returned here, I realized everyone had gotten on just fine during that 15 years. And as I started running around again, getting re-acquainted with this area, where I've lived for the vast majority of my life, that almost -everything- had gotten on fine without me, and continues to do so.

There's lots of things I know how to do, that just don't matter anymore, because the things, or processes have evolved, and I get that. But during that 15 years, I was more or less stagnant. Like the Shawshank Redemption guy that knew how to get stuff, in a way. In a few ways, actually.

You thought people depended on you?

Not so much 'depended' - I'm not generally comfortable being someone's potential point of failuire, so most that know me, know not to do so. More like ... 'included'.

I suspect what needs to happen, is that I need to understand that living $ELSEWHERE ... has consequences and problems far beyond when you return home.

[GaryV]

"Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional" - attributed to Carroll Bryant

[Rothman]

All I know, is that as I get older, I am also becoming less and less relevant.

To whom or to what?

Hard for me to put into words, but let's try.

I lived $ELSEWHERE for almost 15 years. When I returned here, I realized everyone had gotten on just fine during that 15 years. And as I started running around again, getting re-acquainted with this area, where I've lived for the vast majority of my life, that almost -everything- had gotten on fine without me, and continues to do so.

There's lots of things I know how to do, that just don't matter anymore, because the things, or processes have evolved, and I get that. But during that 15 years, I was more or less stagnant. Like the Shawshank Redemption guy that knew how to get stuff, in a way. In a few ways, actually.

You thought people depended on you?

Not so much 'depended' - I'm not generally comfortable being someone's potential point of failuire, so most that know me, know not to do so. More like ... 'included'.

I suspect what needs to happen, is that I need to understand that living $ELSEWHERE ... has consequences and problems far beyond when you return home.

Pretty foreign concept to me, since I've lived in all sorts of places away from "home."  Coming back home or visiting my friends and family wherever after a long time doesn't make me feel FOMO due to them just living their lives.

Then again, you might be putting an additional meaning into "$ELSEWHERE" that I'm only partially picking up on.

[Max Rockatansky]

I've never found moving to different places how much in the way of long term consequences exterior to me.  Some immediate family didn't like it when I moved from the Midwest to Phoenix in 2001 but they got over it.  I guess while revising places and seeing people I know gives me a slight sense of nostalgia I don't generally feel much beyond that.

[TheHighwayMan3561]

Sometimes I still think about abruptly packing up and moving somewhere else just for the expereicne, but I don't know what I would do there, plus now I have my cat who makes this much more complicated.

Plus, I have some intangible attachment to Lake Superior. It's my safety blanket when things get bad, and if I remove myself from where I can easily go there, I'm not sure what would replace it.

[Max Rockatansky]

Probably loathing where I lived in the Midwest helped me a ton when I was 18 in terms of motivation towards getting out the door.  I did move across the country twice with my dog in 2013 and 2016.  He loved being in the car on those cross country trips.

[ZLoth]

Live your own life, and don't try to keep up with the neighbors. I have a nice little house that I maintain inside and out, but if I'm going to do improvements, there has to be a good reason behind it, not because the neighbor got it. If I want something, but don't need it right away, it'll go over to CamelCamelCamel, and wait until it goes on sale. I make sure to set myself up so that I don't need items in a hurry. My fiscal goals include maximizing my retirement contributions and getting my home paid off. It's not sexy, but it's an important goal to me. I've seen times when those purchases ended up owning the owner instead of vice versa. (Nice boat, but aren't we in a middle of a drought when the water doesn't even REACH the boat ramp at Folsom Dam???)

I also never understood the attraction of alcohol and smoking. From what I could see from my perspective, they were just extremely expensive purchases. I'll settle for my colas. Don't get me wrong, it's ok to drink in moderation, but I have seen the consequences where you go beyond a drink or two. I really didn't want to go down that path.

As a kid, I would have loved to have all of the premium movie packages. Mind you, this was the 1980s where VCRs were still a rarity, so you caught the movies when you can. Flash forward to my adulthood of today, and I'm extremely choosy of which streaming services I have... partially because my time is extremely limited and I'm an adult caretaker. I'm still the physical media collector because I don't trust the availability of movies on the streaming services.

Which leads me to another change... for many homes, the television set was a notable feature in the living or family room. Not mine. There is a TV in my home office and a TV in the master bedroom... and that's it. I do want to set up a room with a home theater system, but that is several years away.

I did grow up with frugal German parents, and two of the phrases that I hated were "you have to have the latest and greatest" and "Are you going to pay for that?". First off, "latest and greatest".... but then I turn around and make it last for years. There are actually features that are worth paying for in the "deluxe" model that are missing in the cheap "base" model. Take my garage door opener. It has a battery backup in case of a power outage, WiFi connectivity, and a feature to close the garage door automatically after a certain amount of time. (I had one too many "did I leave the garage door open? Let me turn around and drive back 30 minutes only to see that it was closed" moments). As a bonus, it's a way for Amazon to deliver packages securely. You won't believe how nice it is when the washing machine and dryer interfaces with Alexa and lets me know when the washing machine and dryer are done.... especially when I'm working away on the other side of the house. Secondly, "Are you going to pay for that?" doesn't have the same meaning. The last time that was used by my mother on me was at Sam's Club in regards to a cart to help with gardening supplies, and when she used that phrase on me, that cart turned into a purchase. That cart has turned to be extremely helpful over the years.

[kphoger]

Which leads me to another change... for many homes, the television set was a notable feature in the living or family room. Not mine. There is a TV in my home office and a TV in the master bedroom... and that's it. I do want to set up a room with a home theater system, but that is several years away.

When my wife and I first got married, we made the decision to not have a TV in the bedroom.  The bedroom is for sleeping and "sleeping" only.  Nowadays, 17½ years later, we still don't have a TV in the bedroom.  The main TV is in the living room.  There's also one in the basement, which doubles as the older two boys' bedroom and get-away-from-everyone-else-room.

[Max Rockatansky]

We have a TV in the bedroom but it only gets used maybe a dozen times a year.  About half those times it is used as noise cover for "other"  activities.

[ZLoth]

Which leads me to another change... for many homes, the television set was a notable feature in the living or family room. Not mine. There is a TV in my home office and a TV in the master bedroom... and that's it. I do want to set up a room with a home theater system, but that is several years away.

When my wife and I first got married, we made the decision to not have a TV in the bedroom.  The bedroom is for sleeping and "sleeping" only.  Nowadays, 17½ years later, we still don't have a TV in the bedroom.  The main TV is in the living room.  There's also one in the basement, which doubles as the older two boys' bedroom and get-away-from-everyone-else-room.

I understand and respect your position. Thing is, even though I am the homeowner, my 82yo mother has the master bedroom, and she likes to watch her Golden Girls, Ice Road Truckers, and whatever History Vault has on. There is no good place to put a television in my own bedroom, thus it's either a tablet or phone.

As for the TV in my office... most of the time, it's for watching football games or serving as a monitor for one of my secondary computers whenever severe weather blows through the DFW area.