Worst Christmas Song

[kurumi]

Write-ins welcome in the comments.

(I'm working on a song that might be more annoying than any of the above! Here are the lyrics:

U kno Santa got rizz, no cap
Skibidi woah oh oh oh
Tell me it's Christmas without telling me it's Christmas
🤣🤣🤣 😂😂 💀

... and the music is pitched-shifted up 2 octaves and optimized for playing over cell phone speaker)

[Big John]

Santa Claus is coming to town.  Never liked the thought you were always being watched,  ala Big Brother.

[hotdogPi]

My Favorite Things for not being a Christmas song.

[MATraveler128]

Last Christmas by Wham

[Max Rockatansky]

Last Christmas

[7/8]

Last Christmas by Wham

Last Christmas

Ouch, I really like this song! Time to give it another listen.

My first thought is 12 Days of Christmas, it's long and repetitive, and most of the gifts are stupid.

[7/8]

... and the music is pitched-shifted up 2 octaves and optimized for playing over cell phone speaker)

This has to be one of the worst TikTok (social media) trends. Super irritating watching a clip with a song sped up to be higher pitched, even worse when it's a song I like and now it's ruined.

[TheHighwayMan3561]

Baby It's Cold Outside - creepy
It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas - annoying

[kphoger]

My Favorite Things for not being a Christmas song.

You win the thread, even if nobody else noticed.

[jlam]

Sleigh Ride - prior traumatic experiences

Last Christmas - annoying

12 Days of Christmas - too many birds

All I Want for Christmas is You - overdone concept

[NWI_Irish96]

Last Christmas by Wham

Last Christmas

Ouch, I really like this song! Time to give it another listen.

I like that song too. In addition to the Wham original, the cast of Glee and Ariana Grande both have nice cover versions.

Pure coincidence, but my two worst songs both come from Liverpool:

Happy Xmas (War is Over) by John Lennon

Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney

[NWI_Irish96]

My Favorite Things for not being a Christmas song.

You win the thread, even if nobody else noticed.

I remember that when I was a kid, NBC played that movie every December, so people can be forgiven for associating it with Christmas.

[mgk920]

For me, mainly just two (and I forgot who did both):

-the barking dogs with Jingle Bells (self-explanatory), and "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas' (Why, just why???).

Mike

[kphoger]

My Favorite Things for not being a Christmas song.

You win the thread, even if nobody else noticed.

I remember that when I was a kid, NBC played that movie every December, so people can be forgiven for associating it with Christmas.

It's actually been associated with Christmas since the early 60s, not long after The Sound of Music opened.  Multiple big names included it in their Christmas song collection albums in the 60s, including Barbra Streisand and Andy Williams.

But that doesn't make it a Christmas song, dang it!  Alexa should know better...

[GaryV]

My Favorite Things for not being a Christmas song.

You win the thread, even if nobody else noticed.

I remember that when I was a kid, NBC played that movie every December, so people can be forgiven for associating it with Christmas.

It's actually been associated with Christmas since the early 60s, not long after The Sound of Music opened.  Multiple big names included it in their Christmas song collection albums in the 60s, including Barbra Streisand and Andy Williams.

But that doesn't make it a Christmas song, dang it!  Alexa should know better...

Jingle Bells isn't a Christmas song either. It was written for Thanksgiving, inspired by a festival involving sleigh races.

At the risk of giving everyone an earworm, I nominate, "Christmas Don't Be Late" by Alvin and the Chipmunks.

[kphoger]

Jingle Bells isn't a Christmas song either. It was written for Thanksgiving, inspired by a festival involving sleigh races.

Heck, let's keep going down this trail.  Joy to the World, by Isaac Watts*, isn't about Christmas either:  it's about the future return of Jesus at the Second Coming.


*  Not that I'm saying the one by Three Dog Night is about Christmas or anything...

[JayhawkCO]

Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer

[DTComposer]

Baby It's Cold Outside - creepy

(Obligatory "not a Christmas song")

I'm in the camp of this song is not creepy - Frank Loesser (also the composer of Guys and Dolls) wrote this as a novelty song that he would play and sing with his wife at parties. The banter and turn of phrase is typical for the 1940s - "say, what's in this drink" is a line that's used in a bunch of movies and radio shows from the period.

The couple is flirting, and has already been hooking up ("lend me your comb"), and the woman wants to stay from the jump (she says "maybe just a half a drink more" as early as the second stanza) - but the societal mores of the time said the woman had to put up the front of being demure lest she be seen as a hussy. Her excuses and his counters get more and more ridiculous as the song goes on - references to her gossipy maiden aunt and his claiming she'll die of pneumonia.

Loesser's shows are full of female characters who have power and agency over their romantic interests, and win the "battle of the sexes." I do not believe his intent with this song in any way implied or endorsed non-consensual relations.

[74/171FAN]

My brain is going between "All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth" and "I Want A Hippopotamus for Christmas".

[Scott5114]

"Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire":

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,
Jack Frost nipping on your nose,
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir,
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.

You take 17 years, 9 months, 11 days, 16 hours, 58 minutes, and 36 seconds at a blistering 3 BPM just to list a bunch of random shit that happens in winter (only the carols are specifically Christmas-related), and throw in a borderline ethnic slur for good measure. A+ job there, buckaroo.

My Favorite Things for not being a Christmas song.

Same is true of Vince Guaraldi's "Linus and Lucy" (it's the theme to Peanuts and was used in all of their TV specials; but some idiots throw it in the Christmas heap because it was used in the Christmas special as well).

[CoreySamson]

"I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" for sure.

I both love and hate "Little Saint Nick" by The Beach Boys. The song is great, but the part where they sing "Christmas comes this time each year" is so self-evidently dumb. I feel like "Christmas Don't Be Late" is at least excusable in that regard given that the chipmunks are singing it.

[Hunty2022]

12 Days of Christmas.

[Scott5114]

The song is great, but the part where they sing "Christmas comes this time each year" is so self-evidently dumb.

Did you know that December 25 falls on December 25 every year? Science!

[Rothman]

"Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire":

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,
Jack Frost nipping on your nose,
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir,
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.

My Favorite Things for not being a Christmas song.

Same is true of Vince Guaraldi's "Linus and Lucy" (it's the theme to Peanuts and was used in all of their TV specials; but some idiots throw it in the Christmas heap because it was used in the Christmas special as well).

Psst:  The Christmas Special was its debut, which is why it is associated with Christmas.

[Rothman]

My nomination is The Christmas Shoes, which, listening to it for the first time, tugs at your heartstrings.  Then, you go over the lyrics and it's disgusting:

1) God cares what shoes we die in?
2) We should pay our last dime to buy such?

It's commercialism of Christmas at its worst.