Business terms and buzzwords you hate

[OCGuy81]

I've been on a high number of calls and Zoom meetings over the last year and have grown to hate certain corporate terms and phrases.

My biggest two offenders.

"at the end of the day" . Okaaaaay....what about now? 

"Circle back" . I'm not sure about that but I'll circle back with you.

What are some of your least favorites?

[GaryV]

"Getting our ducks in a row" - you don't have to line up the ducklings, they do that themselves following Mom.  Maybe not a straight line, but they all follow.

"Paradigms" (isn't that 20 cents?)
"Synergy"

And any of the silly names they come up with for the inspiration-du-jour programs.  Because you know next year it will be something else. 

We had one a while back called "Do It Right The First Time".  One wag said no, it should be "Do It Right the Next Time".  It got acroynmed as DIRTFT, pronounced "dirt-foot".  So my boss, who had to present the concept to us, dressed up as an Old Testament prophet, with robe and staff, named Dirt Foot who was going to lead his people out of the mire and into the promised land of business efficiency.  That was the only business inspiration presentation I ever liked.

[wanderer2575]

There's a "managementspeak" thread around here somewhere.

Several phrases drive me nuts, but top of the list is "quick question."  It's never quick, and just ask the damn question!

[jmacswimmer]

"Put this to bed" - in the context of resolving agency comments so a project can be approved/permitted.  It became a running joke amongst my colleagues that there was one individual we all dealt with who, above all others, absolutely loved this phrase 

[kphoger]

'It is what it is.'

[GaryV]

"quick question."  It's never quick

Related, "to make a long story short".  That line is usually delivered far too late.

[jmacswimmer]

"quick question."  It's never quick

Related, "to make a long story short".  That line is usually delivered far too late.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpPQE56Zezk

[Henry]

"Big deal"...well, isn't everything one?

[JayhawkCO]

Leverage
Workflow
Actionable
Guru
Pain point
Deliverables
Take it offline
Bespoke
In a meaningful way

Chris

[kphoger]

Guru

Is "wizard" better or worse?

Chris

Yeah, I hate that one too.

[JoePCool14]

Transparency

(usually said by the least transparent organizations or people ever)

[hotdogPi]

Guru

Is "wizard" better or worse?

Wizard is something else entirely: it's an automated tool as part of a complicated program.

[Max Rockatansky]

I have employees not "associates"  or "team members."   I am their manager and not their "team leader."

[kphoger]

I have employees not "associates"  or "team members."   I am their manager and not their "team leader."

Yes.  If several of your employees cooperate on a project, then they make a team and one of them might be the team leader.  But that's different.

[webny99]

I have employees not "associates"  or "team members."   I am their manager and not their "team leader."

I am not a fan of "associates", but I don't have any problem with the use of "team leader/member". It sounds less hierarchical, which is a positive IMO.

[kphoger]

I have employees not "associates"  or "team members."   I am their manager and not their "team leader."

I am not a fan of "associates", but I don't have any problem with the use of "team leader/member". It sounds less hierarchical, which is a positive IMO.

Not in my opinion.  My boss is my boss, not my buddy.

[hotdogPi]

JOANN Fabrics seems to distinguish between employees and team members, at least according to their signage: vendors are employees but not team members. The doors leading to the back rooms say "employees only", but signs around the store tell you to ask a team member if you need help.

[kphoger]

... but signs around the store tell you to ask a team member if you need help.

Maybe they mean to ask someone on your own team for help.   

[TheHighwayMan3561]

"Touch base"

[webny99]

I have employees not "associates"  or "team members."   I am their manager and not their "team leader."

I am not a fan of "associates", but I don't have any problem with the use of "team leader/member". It sounds less hierarchical, which is a positive IMO.

Not in my opinion.  My boss is my boss, not my buddy.

Less hierarchical in the sense of encouraging teamwork, collaboration, and two-way communication.

Leadership is one of the most important characteristics a boss should possess, and working well together as a group is one of the most important characteristics a group of employees should possess.

[Rothman]

Actually had a boss' boss that would say this about our work:

"This is a bottom up, top down, iterative process."

[kphoger]

Less hierarchical in the sense of encouraging teamwork, collaboration, and two-way communication.

Leadership is one of the most important characteristics a boss should possess, and working well together as a group is one of the most important characteristics a group of employees should possess.

I know what you meant.  I have a meeting on Monday morning with my boss, along with several other employees, to discuss how we're going to tackle an upcoming project, how the work is going to be divided up between us, schedules, etc.  We employees will need to work well together, I'm sure.  But our boss isn't the one who's going to be doing that.  She's the one who tells us what she expects, tells us what to do.  Her expectations will be the ones we need to meet.  She's the boss.

Two-way communication is great, but directives only flow in one direction.  It's similar to how I feel about students calling their teachers by first name, or children doing the same to their parents.  My wife and I teach our children to refer to teachers as 'Mr ___' or 'Mrs ___', and to answer with 'yes sir' or 'yes ma'am' as a sign of respect and to reinforce the distinction in role between teacher and student.  That principle, in my opinion, should carry over into the workplace:  my boss is not merely a co-worker, but rather she is hierarchically above me.  That's a good thing, and a distinction that should not be erased by semantics.

[texaskdog]

Reaching out.  No one used to ever say it and now it's extremely overused.  Can't I just contact someone?

Touch base and referring to customers as "guests" are two more

[kphoger]

Reaching out.  No one used to ever say it ...

[bm7]

I've noticed in online video games, companies often like to use the word "hotfix" for any small fix/update to a game. The definition of hotfix is supposed to be an update that is able to be done with either no or very minimal downtime, the word "hot" referring to the fact that a server is still running when the update is done on it. But instead, a lot of the times I see them call something a "hotfix" the downtime is just as long as a normal update for that game, which sometimes can be a couple hours.