Words or phrases you will never say or repeat

[CNGL-Leudimin]

In that vein, "soccer". As said above, it's football, and in American contexts I use its full name "association football" to distinguish it from American football.

[JayhawkCO]

Two context-dependent ones:

"Bike" to refer to motorcycles. Bikes are bicycles.

"UK football" in the sense hbelkins uses it. Wrong country, wrong sport.

Football is the true name for "soccer".  "Football" as is defined by Americans is still called that - American football - never mind the Canadians and Australians....

We'll just have to tell off the country that invented the term "soccer" -- the UK.

[hbelkins]

Every time I see a group of kids playing soccer around here, I want to throw them a basketball and say, "You're in Kentucky! Act like it!" 

Sorry, but I find soccer and golf to be the most boring two spectator sports there are.

[hotdogPi]

Sorry, but I find soccer and golf to be the most boring two spectator sports there are.

How do you feel about hockey? It's quite similar to soccer: get the ball or puck into the goal on the other side, guarded by a goalie that usually blocks the shot, control of the ball or puck switches between teams more than once per minute, and games are low-scoring.

[NWI_Irish96]

Sorry, but I find soccer and golf to be the most boring two spectator sports there are.

How do you feel about hockey? It's quite similar to soccer: get the ball or puck into the goal on the other side, guarded by a goalie that usually blocks the shot, control of the ball or puck switches between teams more than once per minute, and games are low-scoring.

The only sport I find interesting on its own merits is American football. I can be entertained by a football game even if I know and care nothing about the teams playing.

For any other sport, my level of interest depends solely on caring about a team and/or individuals playing.

[Scott5114]

Every time I see a group of kids playing soccer around here, I want to throw them a basketball and say, "You're in Kentucky! Act like it!" 

Sorry, but I find soccer and golf to be the most boring two spectator sports there are.

They try to dribble the basketball on the grass field where they were playing soccer. It doesn't bounce. One of them picks up the ball and hurls it into the sky at the end of the field. There's no basketball hoop there. The ball doesn't bounce off of the nonexistent backboard and goes sailing off into the woods beyond the boundaries of the field.

They look at each other. They look at you. You look back.

You realize that maybe there was a reason they weren't playing basketball to begin with.

[skluth]

Every time I see a group of kids playing soccer around here, I want to throw them a basketball and say, "You're in Kentucky! Act like it!" 

Sorry, but I find soccer and golf to be the most boring two spectator sports there are.

I quite like soccer/football but I agree golf is mind-numbingly boring. I know the statement "Golf is a waste of a good walk" is usually attributed to Mark Twain, but whoever actually said it got it right. I also find baseball incredibly boring to watch on TV though I like going to the games just for the atmosphere, especially when the have a lawn bleacher outfield like in Round Rock TX. Finally, I don't enjoy boxing or MMA where the point is just to beat the crap out of each other. I will never say I love golf, boxing, or MMA.

One event I love to watch every year is the Tour de France. I don't watch every day but I love the mountain stages and a few of the other longer stages where they mix the race itself with shots of French scenery, especially the castles and other medieval buildings. It's also interesting to watch the peloton when it enters a city at the end of a race as cyclists work their way through the narrow streets and around roundabouts. OTOH, the time trials are even more boring than golf. So I'd never say the Tour de France is completely boring.

[hbelkins]

Sorry, but I find soccer and golf to be the most boring two spectator sports there are.

How do you feel about hockey? It's quite similar to soccer: get the ball or puck into the goal on the other side, guarded by a goalie that usually blocks the shot, control of the ball or puck switches between teams more than once per minute, and games are low-scoring.

Similar to soccer. I never got into hockey; possibly because there was never a team in my area to grow attached to when I was young. Plus, there are two halftimes.

[Max Rockatansky]

Transportology

[dlsterner]

Sorry, but I find soccer and golf to be the most boring two spectator sports there are.

How do you feel about hockey? It's quite similar to soccer: get the ball or puck into the goal on the other side, guarded by a goalie that usually blocks the shot, control of the ball or puck switches between teams more than once per minute, and games are low-scoring.

Similar to soccer. I never got into hockey; possibly because there was never a team in my area to grow attached to when I was young. Plus, there are two halftimes.

Shouldn't those be "thirdtimes"?

[abefroman329]

Sorry, but I find soccer and golf to be the most boring two spectator sports there are.

How do you feel about hockey? It's quite similar to soccer: get the ball or puck into the goal on the other side, guarded by a goalie that usually blocks the shot, control of the ball or puck switches between teams more than once per minute, and games are low-scoring.

Similar to soccer. I never got into hockey; possibly because there was never a team in my area to grow attached to when I was young. Plus, there are two halftimes.

Shouldn't those be "thirdtimes"?

Technically, they're intermissions.  Not sure why the fact that there are two would deter someone from watching, though.

And the handful of sports I'm into are the ones that WEREN'T crammed down my throat growing up.

[1995hoo]

This will be unpopular with certain people:

There is a sport called soccer. A soccer game is played on a field, usually located in a stadium, between two teams wearing different-colored uniforms. Each team normally has 11 players on the field at a time unless someone receives a red card or two yellow cards. The upcoming schedule properly lists games the same way as any other sport, in the form "visiting team at home team" (such as "New York Cosmos at Washington Diplomats"). After a game, the standings are updated.

[Big John]

[quThe upcoming schedule properly lists games the same way as any other sport, in the form "visiting team at home team" (such as "New York Cosmos at Washington Diplomats").
[/quote] One difference on TV is that the home team is listed first, unlike any other sport.

[TheHighwayMan3561]

One difference on TV is that the home team is listed first, unlike any other sport.

The problem is this runs counter to all other North American sports, which can be confusing to keep straight. I've heard the theory that "visitor first" came from baseball since the road team always bats first, and it just spread to other sports in the US by osmosis.

[1995hoo]

The upcoming schedule properly lists games the same way as any other sport, in the form "visiting team at home team" (such as "New York Cosmos at Washington Diplomats").

One difference on TV is that the home team is listed first, unlike any other sport.

That was part of my point. It's damn annoying that they insist on listing the teams backwards. ESPN.com does it too–DC United are at LAFC later tonight and ESPN wrongly puts LAFC on top and DC on the bottom.

If you don't understand what my post was mocking, it's probably just as well.

[vdeane]

Sorry, but I find soccer and golf to be the most boring two spectator sports there are.

How about extreme mini-golf?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjx-uKMmkhs

[ran4sh]

This will be unpopular with certain people:

There is a sport called soccer. A soccer game is played on a field, usually located in a stadium, between two teams wearing different-colored uniforms. Each team normally has 11 players on the field at a time unless someone receives a red card or two yellow cards. The upcoming schedule properly lists games the same way as any other sport, in the form "visiting team at home team" (such as "New York Cosmos at Washington Diplomats"). After a game, the standings are updated.

Looks like you're avoiding saying match, pitch, kit, etc (although for some of those terms I'm not aware of what the term used in soccer is)

[1995hoo]

This will be unpopular with certain people:

There is a sport called soccer. A soccer game is played on a field, usually located in a stadium, between two teams wearing different-colored uniforms. Each team normally has 11 players on the field at a time unless someone receives a red card or two yellow cards. The upcoming schedule properly lists games the same way as any other sport, in the form "visiting team at home team" (such as "New York Cosmos at Washington Diplomats"). After a game, the standings are updated.

Looks like you're avoiding saying match, pitch, kit, etc (although for some of those terms I'm not aware of what the term used in soccer is)

To put it soccer snob speak:

There is a sport called football. A football match is played on a pitch, usually located in a ground, between two sides wearing different-coloured kits. Each side normally has XI players on the pitch at a time unless someone is sent off or booked twice. The upcoming fixtures list the home side first ("Washington Diplomats v. New York Cosmos"). After each match, the table is updated.

There is, of course, nothing sacred about any of those terms and the soccer snobs know full well what it means if you use normal terminology, all of which is synonymous, but some of them become very angry if you don't speak like a stooge. It's arguably one of the biggest things that hurts soccer in the USA–the abrasive attitude some fans have towards anyone who doesn't do everything their way. (You also have to be careful when you view the standings. Some sources think ties–which they call "draws"–should come before losses, W—D—L instead of the more conventional W—L—T).


Edited to add: Just to be clear, I couldn't care less how the European media list the scores or the standings. What is annoying is how certain American media sources think they should list the soccer scores together with all other sports but in the opposite order from everything else just because the stooge fans get mad if everything is not done exactly as the European media do it. It's misleading when you glance at the scores on, say, ESPN.com and you see the baseball score between CHC and WAS with CHC on top, telling you the game is at Washington, an NFL score between WAS and KC with WAS on top, telling you the game will be in Kansas City, and then a soccer score between LAFC and DC with LAFC on top but suddenly that one is supposed to be understood to mean the game will be in Los Angeles. It's illogical and inconsistent. The "Visitors at Home" verbiage ("New York at Washington") works very well, is unambiguous, and makes eminent sense.

[thspfc]

In soccer, ties should be listed before losses. With ties being very common, it makes sense to go in descending order of the results.

Now, in football where ties are not common, it makes sense for ties to be listed last so that we don't have to say "x-0-x"  for all the teams who haven't tied a game.

[NWI_Irish96]

In soccer, ties should be listed before losses. With ties being very common, it makes sense to go in descending order of the results.

Now, in football where ties are not common, it makes sense for ties to be listed last so that we don't have to say "x-0-x"  for all the teams who haven't tied a game.

It is done that way for soccer.

[JayhawkCO]

Does anyone really pay attention to the actual records vs. just looking at points?

[1995hoo]

In soccer, ties should be listed before losses. With ties being very common, it makes sense to go in descending order of the results.

Now, in football where ties are not common, it makes sense for ties to be listed last so that we don't have to say "x-0-x"  for all the teams who haven't tied a game.

Ties used to be quite common in hockey, too, but the standings were always written as W—L—T (until they added that stupid fourth column in 1999, when it became W—L—T—OTL, and now of course there are no ties so it's just W—L—OTL).

[CtrlAltDel]

One difference on TV is that the home team is listed first, unlike any other sport.

The problem is this runs counter to all other North American sports, which can be confusing to keep straight. I've heard the theory that "visitor first" came from baseball since the road team always bats first, and it just spread to other sports in the US by osmosis.

It came from box scores. Originally, the home team was listed first, but it made for weird reading, as in the following fictional example:

Code Select Expand


BRO 0 0 0  0 0 1  0 0 X
KC  0 0 0  0 0 0  0 0 0


[thspfc]

In soccer, ties should be listed before losses. With ties being very common, it makes sense to go in descending order of the results.

Now, in football where ties are not common, it makes sense for ties to be listed last so that we don't have to say "x-0-x"  for all the teams who haven't tied a game.

Ties used to be quite common in hockey, too, but the standings were always written as W—L—T (until they added that stupid fourth column in 1999, when it became W—L—T—OTL, and now of course there are no ties so it's just W—L—OTL).

How is an overtime win worth the same as a regular win, yet an overtime loss is worth more than a regular loss? Dumb. Hockey should go by straight W-L record.

[thspfc]

Does anyone really pay attention to the actual records vs. just looking at points?

I do. Guess it's a habit I have from following football and basketball. I do think "14W-12T-12L" paints a better picture of how good a team is than "54 points" does.