Funny Police Stories

[vdeane]

Found these on Facebook  :police:

GOOD: A Bend ,Oregon policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem--a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read 'RADAR TRAP AHEAD.' The officer also found the boy had an accomplice who was down the road with a sign reading 'TIPS' and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)

BETTER: A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in Pendleton, Oregon. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

BEST: A young woman was pulled over for speeding. An Oregon State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book. She said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Trooper's Ball." He replied, "Oregon State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence. He then closed his book, tipped his hat, got back in his patrol car and left.

[6a]

Oh man, my dad was a cop, I'll try to remember some of the good ones.

A guy was arrested for beating or killing a woman (can't remember which) on the Ohio State campus.  He was in the back of a patrol car and the uncle of the girl opened up the car and started kicking the guy's ass.  TV reporter: "Sergeant, how was he able to gain access to the suspect?" Dad: "He lifted the door handle like everyone else does."

Winter storm hits, dad rolls up on a guy sitting in a cars in a front yard.  He loses control and ends up in the yard next to the guy.  Hops out and said "I was gonna give you a ticket, now I'm gonna help push you out."

I know at least once he's handcuffed a drunk OSU football fan to a signpost on Olentangy River Rd. to keep them out of their car (they kept trying to get back in.)

Those of you in Columbus know of the Smith Bros. hardware building on 4th St. at I-670.  When it was still abandoned they had a cop bonfire in there after work one night that caught the attention of passersby on 670.  Fire Dept came calling with a ton of equipment.

Back in the days when downtown shut down at 5pm there was a gay bar on Spring St. that had a huge fight, spilling out into the street.  As he tells it, he wasn't about to call for backup because (probably being pre-Stonewall days) he'd have never heard the end of it so he let the fight wind down and arrested whoever couldn't walk away.

Big bad guy: "If you didn't have that badge, I'd kick your ass"  *badge comes off*  "No, no, that's not what I meant!"

My grandfather was also CPD, and here's another one for the local roadgeeks.  He used to drive out to 161 so they could blow the carbon out of their engines, since there wasn't anyone on that road.

I'm sure I can think of some others if I give it a minute.

[Hot Rod Hootenanny]

The one cop story I remember my dad telling me, from his brief tenure as a Geauga County (east of Cleveland) deputy, was of the time some old lady, living out by the Geauga/Ashtabula County line, who kept asking for someone to look for speeders on her road.
So one day my dad, and his partner were sent out in the direction of the lady's residence. So the guys parked their car, set up their (now pre-historic) radar (this was in 1981) and the first person they clocked going over the speed limit was....the little old lady (from Geauga County). And yes, her cliche answer to why she was speeding was, "I never thought you would actually follow through and look for speeders."

[djsinco]

I am new here, so I hope this true story does not offend anyone in any way...

My late friend Tom was a mountain man and a truck driver, and never afraid to speak his mind at any time to anybody. Back in the late 1980's he was driving a little to fast on I-81 in Virginia, and soon enough was pulled over by a seasoned VA Trooper and an obvious rookie woman officer. As she approached the tractor, he stepped his considerable girth down to the ground accompanied by his ever-present German Shepherd and contemplated the two of them. Obviously intimidated, the female officer, who was completely caught off-guard, was beginning to stutter out a few words when Tom interjected:

>>>>>> Highlight to reveal spoiler>>>> "Well, well... What have we here? Looks like Dick Tracy, and Dick-less Tracy."

The veteran training trooper was laughing for about 20 seconds and finally told him to get the hell out of there before Dick-less wrote him a ticket... I wonder how many years she kept that nickname.

The world misses you, TW.