News:

The AARoads Wiki is live! Come check it out!

Main Menu

On the spectrum

Started by index, September 21, 2019, 09:01:05 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Hwy 61 Revisited

I can usually pass for an allistic person, but there are times where I've kinda seemed "special."
And you may ask yourself, where does that highway go to?
--David Byrne


kphoger

Quote from: Roadgeekteen on November 24, 2020, 02:26:09 PM
I have aspergers. I have trouble with social skills sometimes although I can fake normal most of the time.

meh.  "Normal" is overrated and often shorthand for "annoyingly uninteresting".  People with quirks make better friends anyway.  Of course, that's coming from someone with enough social quirks to create a whole new category in the book.
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

Big John

I am not popular enough to be different.

Rothman

Quote from: Big John on November 25, 2020, 10:21:46 AM
I am not popular enough to be different.
Not sure what you mean by this.  What does difference have to do with popularity?
Please note: All comments here represent my own personal opinion and do not reflect the official position(s) of NYSDOT.

Big John

^^The popular people can afford to act differently.  The unpopular have it best if you tow the line.  I was quoting Homer Simpson.

kphoger

If popular people act differently, then don't they typically stop being so popular?
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

kphoger

Quote from: thspfc on November 25, 2020, 08:24:11 PM
I've found that it's difficult to sustain actual friendships with more than like five or six people at a time, if that.

If you're talking about "true friends" rather than just "acquaintances", then I'd say it's difficult to sustain that many friendships no matter who you are.  Most people, I think, only have a handful of real friends.  One's Facebook friend count is a gross lie.
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

Roadgeekteen

Quote from: kphoger on November 27, 2020, 12:01:15 PM
Quote from: thspfc on November 25, 2020, 08:24:11 PM
I've found that it's difficult to sustain actual friendships with more than like five or six people at a time, if that.

If you're talking about "true friends" rather than just "acquaintances", then I'd say it's difficult to sustain that many friendships no matter who you are.  Most people, I think, only have a handful of real friends.  One's Facebook friend count is a gross lie.
I know people with over 10 friends.
God-emperor of Alanland, king of all the goats and goat-like creatures

Current Interstate map I am making:

https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/0/edit?hl=en&mid=1PEDVyNb1skhnkPkgXi8JMaaudM2zI-Y&ll=29.05778059819179%2C-82.48856825&z=5

Rothman

#83
Quote from: Roadgeekteen on November 27, 2020, 12:23:26 PM
Quote from: kphoger on November 27, 2020, 12:01:15 PM
Quote from: thspfc on November 25, 2020, 08:24:11 PM
I've found that it's difficult to sustain actual friendships with more than like five or six people at a time, if that.

If you're talking about "true friends" rather than just "acquaintances", then I'd say it's difficult to sustain that many friendships no matter who you are.  Most people, I think, only have a handful of real friends.  One's Facebook friend count is a gross lie.
I know people with over 10 friends.
Yeah, I think I have more than a handful of good friends.  But, I also agree Facebook counts are silly.

Then again, whoever has the most Facebook friends wins.
Please note: All comments here represent my own personal opinion and do not reflect the official position(s) of NYSDOT.

kphoger

Well, I rather like a principle that was written about in a Christian non-fiction book a few years ago.  It's called the LEGO principle.  The idea is that each person has roughly six "dots", each dot corresponding to a close relationship with another person.  Once you get past that roughly-six dot point, then the quality of the relationships diminishes.  If you want to develop a new friendship beyond that point, then you need to spend less time and effort on another, or else both will end up being short-changed.  Each person only has so many "dots".

So, for example, if there's a new person at our church, and I want to get to know him better because we really hit it off as potential friends, then I must realize it'll take, say, spending less time and energy with another friend I already have.  Similarly, if I find myself not spending enough time and effort with my wife, then it could be I'm trying to be too much for too many people.

We might be defining "friend" differently, though.  What I consider a "real" friend is someone you can talk to about nearly anything, whom you spend time with, who really cares about you, whom you can count on if something goes awry in your life.  I don't think most people out there have that type of friend in the double digits.
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

qguy

Quote from: kphoger on November 25, 2020, 09:55:15 AM
"Normal" is overrated and often shorthand for "annoyingly uninteresting".

I agree whole-heartedly. I've had many friends in my life, in the various places in which I've lived, and I can't think of even one who was or is what would be called "normal." Every one was at least a half bubble off plumb. Those are people who are interesting, have interesting interests, talk about interesting things, and have interesting friends. This is the kind of person I enjoy spending time with.

"Normal" is boring.

Hwy 61 Revisited

Is there such a thing as an autistic radar? I could kinda have told that David Byrne was autistic from the way he acted onstage and his lyrics, especially since his behaviors are so similar to mine. It's at least part of the reason Talking Heads are my favorite band.
And you may ask yourself, where does that highway go to?
--David Byrne

webny99

Weighing in on the subject of "friend count" to say that I think I have fewer than six close friends no matter how it's determined...

Roadgeekteen

Quote from: webny99 on December 11, 2020, 07:59:04 AM
Weighing in on the subject of "friend count" to say that I think I have fewer than six close friends no matter how it's determined...
I have one close friend
God-emperor of Alanland, king of all the goats and goat-like creatures

Current Interstate map I am making:

https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/0/edit?hl=en&mid=1PEDVyNb1skhnkPkgXi8JMaaudM2zI-Y&ll=29.05778059819179%2C-82.48856825&z=5

STLmapboy

I was recently told I had Aspergers.
Teenage STL area roadgeek.
Missouri>>>>>Illinois

Rothman

Quote from: STLmapboy on September 07, 2021, 06:33:36 PM
I was recently told I had Aspergers.
Hopefully they were qualified to do so.
Please note: All comments here represent my own personal opinion and do not reflect the official position(s) of NYSDOT.

snowc

Quote from: index on September 21, 2019, 09:01:05 AM
Discussion in this thread: https://www.aaroads.com/forum/index.php?topic=25705.0 about how people couldn't raise kids due to various issues, some of them mentioning the spectrum, had got me thinking about how many other people on this forum are on the spectrum to some degree. I myself haven't been diagnosed, but I show a lot of the telltale signs and I have an identical twin who was diagnosed in 2015.

A lot of the symptoms and social qualities many people on the spectrum are lacking I've been able to respectively suppress or learn how to do. In the past I had horrible, violent behavior, and I could never speak normally to anyone, but my potential Asperger's wasn't bad enough to where I wasn't self aware of it, and over the time I've got to the point where I manage to pass as having a normal brain, although I slip through the cracks sometimes in regards to suppressing my symptoms. The social discomfort related to the disease is still there, I'm just good at allowing it not to surface.

Given that this forum's central focus is a niche topic - roads, it doesn't come as surprising there'd be people on the spectrum here. One of the symptoms of this disease is intense fixations on specific topics, in this case, roads. I do have other fixations beyond this, though, namely geography and politics (although the latter never goes over easy on this forum).
I am autistic, and have been since I was 2.5 Years old. Bit another kid in the playground in my aunt's daycare for a basketball. My parents took me in, and sure enough, I had Autism. I have also ADHD since 2011.

snowc

Quote from: adventurernumber1 on September 21, 2019, 09:36:19 AM
I have Asperger's Syndrome. It has fluctuated in severity throughout my lifetime (of almost 20 years) so far. It was never severe, but it was moderate throughout my early childhood (from birth to around 10 years old). I had a minor speech impediment where I could only make the "f"  sound when I tried to make the "th"  sound, but that was fully corrected after a few years of speech therapy in elementary school. By the time I was a pre-teen, the overt obviousness of my autism had largely subsided. The beginning of my teens (late 2012, 2013, early 2014) was the most normal I ever was, and it was also the golden age of my life (so far), with the most abundance of joy and least pain. During this time, my autism was least severe. After this, mental illnesses (depression, anxiety, psychosis, etc.) started creeping in, and these have ultimately actually made my autism more severe since then, to where it is now once again probably mildly overtly noticeable in many situations. Although, at no point in my life have my social skills and ability to do things perfectly normally in this area been extremely superb.

I agree that the reason interest in roads may be correlated with Autism/Asperger's a lot is since many times we people that have it often have very intense and unusual interests, as you said. This is actually the primary reason why I consider my Asperger's to be a gift (if it was very severe autism, that obviously wouldn't be the case). I wouldn't want to live without this strong interest of mine I hold so dear. It's such a big part of me and it brings so much joy. It also brings the benefits of a photographic memory and special insights and ways of thinking. I think that the other mental ailments (depression, OCD, etc.) have absolutely zero benefit, and they have done nothing but severe harm, and they are definitely not gifts to me. But I feel differently about my Asperger's (which also differs in the fact that I've had it my whole life, where I've only had psychological disorders since mid-2014). All in all, autism has its pros and its cons, but it is definitely a part of me.
Same here.
Saying Baff instead of Bath REALLY baffles me.  :ded:  :pan:  :confused: :colorful: :wow:

Daniel Fiddler

#93
I have Asperger's Syndrome as well.  It was diagnosed when I was 12.  I can act mostly normal the majority of the time though.  It's what gave me my gift of geography.

Probably the family members who have best understood it are / were my mother, maternal grandmother, and late sister.  My late father thought it was an illness / disease that needed to be cured and, as he was relatively affluent, spent tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to "cure"  it.  My younger brother and first cousin even to this day constantly compare me to them thinking I am inferior to them, less intelligent, and less mature than them and ask me questions like "why do you not have a family / children like we do?"   They don't actually understand Asperger's, although my uncle used to like talking about highways and my aunt likes to talk about travel so I did used to talk to him occasionally and still do talk to her periodically regarding our common interest.

It is my opinion that a good percentage of us roadgeeks probably have Asperger's.

snowc

Quote from: Daniel Fiddler on September 07, 2021, 08:13:18 PM
I have Asperger's Syndrome as well.  It was diagnosed when I was 12.  I can act mostly normal the majority of the time though.  It's what gave me my gift of geography.

Probably the family members who have best understood it are / were my mother, maternal grandmother, and late sister.  My late father thought it was an illness / disease that needed to be cured and, as he was relatively affluent, spent tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to "cure"  it.  My younger brother and first cousin even to this day constantly compare me to them thinking I am inferior to them, less intelligent, and less mature than them and ask me questions like "why do you not have a family / children like we do?"   They don't actually understand Asperger's, although my uncle used to like talking about highways and my aunt likes to talk about travel so I did used to talk to him occasionally and still do talk to her periodically regarding our common interest.

It is my opinion that a good percentage of us roadgeeks probably have Asperger's.
wowee.  :wow:
My father has autism and aspergers. Thats probably where i got it from.



Opinions expressed here on belong solely to the poster and do not represent or reflect the opinions or beliefs of AARoads, its creators and/or associates.