Online dating

[NWI_Irish96]

I've never tried online dating as I met my current girlfriend in school. From what I've heard from a friend, use either Tinder or Hinge. But do stay away from Bumble.

Tinder is the Walmart of dating sites. I never used Hinge, but I meant to try it before I met my current girlfriend on OKCupid. Anyone telling you not to use Bumble is...well, I don't want to get political.

Any chance you can word it neutrally? I'm a little curious what the objection would be to it, considering that I've only heard of good experiences with it.

"The dating app Bumble['s] defining feature: Only women can initiate the conversation after a match."

edit: No clue why this would be a reason not to use it.

So, my first thought in reading that was that Bumble just doesn't offer its services to people seeking same sex relationships, so I looked it up. They do offer that, and in those cases either person can initiate a conversation.

[abefroman329]

I've never tried online dating as I met my current girlfriend in school. From what I've heard from a friend, use either Tinder or Hinge. But do stay away from Bumble.

Tinder is the Walmart of dating sites. I never used Hinge, but I meant to try it before I met my current girlfriend on OKCupid. Anyone telling you not to use Bumble is...well, I don't want to get political.

Any chance you can word it neutrally? I'm a little curious what the objection would be to it, considering that I've only heard of good experiences with it.

"The dating app Bumble['s] defining feature: Only women can initiate the conversation after a match."

edit: No clue why this would be a reason not to use it.

So, my first thought in reading that was that Bumble just doesn't offer its services to people seeking same sex relationships, so I looked it up. They do offer that, and in those cases either person can initiate a conversation.

Yeah, I'm just gonna say it and the modmins can do whatever they want with this statement:

The only people who could possibly object to this are MRAs who think women are being handed an unfair advantage, even though it's probably a policy that was enacted due to the fact that a significant number of men love sending women unsolicited dick pics, and now they have to wait for a woman to reach out to them to send unsolicited dick pics.

[Takumi]

I've never tried online dating as I met my current girlfriend in school. From what I've heard from a friend, use either Tinder or Hinge. But do stay away from Bumble.

Tinder is the Walmart of dating sites. I never used Hinge, but I meant to try it before I met my current girlfriend on OKCupid. Anyone telling you not to use Bumble is...well, I don't want to get political.

Any chance you can word it neutrally? I'm a little curious what the objection would be to it, considering that I've only heard of good experiences with it.

"The dating app Bumble['s] defining feature: Only women can initiate the conversation after a match."

edit: No clue why this would be a reason not to use it.

So, my first thought in reading that was that Bumble just doesn't offer its services to people seeking same sex relationships, so I looked it up. They do offer that, and in those cases either person can initiate a conversation.

Yeah, I'm just gonna say it and the modmins can do whatever they want with this statement:

The only people who could possibly object to this are MRAs who think women are being handed an unfair advantage, even though it's probably a policy that was enacted due to the fact that a significant number of men love sending women unsolicited dick pics, and now they have to wait for a woman to reach out to them to send unsolicited dick pics.

Pretty much it, yeah. And those kinds of guys tend to skew a certain direction politically.

[hbelkins]

Here's your unsolicited dick pic.



Seriously, what's the deal with that? I've heard of it occurring not only in dating apps, but on Facebook and Twitter as well. I don't understand the mentality of someone who would immediately send someone else a naked picture of himself, or a picture of his sexual organ. It's not something that would even cross my mind to do.

[jmacswimmer]

My fiancée & I met via Tinder. Neither of us remember swiping on the other's profile now, but we later figured out that we must have both opened Tinder while on either the Delaware Turnpike or the Delaware Memorial Bridge (as I was on a daytrip to Wildwood that day, and she was on a daytrip to the Camden Aquarium). I opened with a nerdy pickup line that she later said she had never heard before, and there was instant chemistry after that. For our first few dates I drove 1.5-2 hours to her, and intentionally left out that I was driving that far and paying $8 at the Tydings Bridge each time!

Our swipe-versary is coming up in about a month (6 years), we've been engaged for a year & 3 months now, and our wedding is coming up this fall. At first we were embarrassed to admit we met on Tinder (we both initially told our parents we met at a party), but eventually we stopped caring and now openly share it when people ask - much like I'm doing with this post!

[kphoger]

At first we were embarrassed to admit we met on Tinder (we both initially told our parents we met at a party), but eventually we stopped caring and now openly share it when people ask - much like I'm doing with this post!

When I met my wife, her grandparents were still of the mindset that the Internet was evil.  So, the first couple of times I met them, we managed to craftily dodge any questions about how we met.  Only after I was wholeheartedly approved of by them did we tell them we'd met online.

[Rothman]

Found my wife online.

You found her looking for someone new?   

Nah.  I'm a bigamist.

[GaryV]

Only after I was wholeheartedly approved of by them did we tell them we'd met online.

"Thru mutual friends." You were both friends of the internet site, right?

[J N Winkler]

"The dating app Bumble['s] defining feature: Only women can initiate the conversation after a match."

edit: No clue why this would be a reason not to use it.

Yeah, I'm just gonna say it and the modmins can do whatever they want with this statement:

The only people who could possibly object to this are MRAs who think women are being handed an unfair advantage, even though it's probably a policy that was enacted due to the fact that a significant number of men love sending women unsolicited dick pics, and now they have to wait for a woman to reach out to them to send unsolicited dick pics.

I have read (notably in Nancy Jo Sales' Nothing Personal) that many female Bumble users dislike being forced to initiate each exchange.

Seriously, what's the deal with that? I've heard of it occurring not only in dating apps, but on Facebook and Twitter as well. I don't understand the mentality of someone who would immediately send someone else a naked picture of himself, or a picture of his sexual organ. It's not something that would even cross my mind to do.

One theory is that men on hookup apps are playing the numbers and use it as a crude filtering tactic, the reasoning being that a woman who objects to being sent an unsolicited dick pic is probably not one who is going to be available for sex on demand.  Another theory is that the men who send them are clueless enough to think they'd be delighted if a woman sent an unsolicited pussy pic and can't understand why a woman wouldn't be equally happy to receive the male equivalent.

[abefroman329]

I don't understand the mentality of someone who would immediately send someone else a naked picture of himself, or a picture of his sexual organ. It's not something that would even cross my mind to do.

Me neither, on all counts.  And I don't know anyone who does that, so I can't ask anyone I know.

It's also something that, uh, isn't unique to one generation or another.  Which is even weirder.

[abefroman329]

Pretty much it, yeah. And those kinds of guys tend to skew a certain direction politically.

Well, the ones who aren't part of a demographic known as the ______ Bros, anyway.

[WillWeaverRVA]

Met my wife on OKCupid after giving it another chance after my previous relationship ended (it also started on OKCupid). In fact, all but the very first long-term relationship I was in had some online component to it (I dated a girl who lived in Illinois I met through someone in an IRC chat room; I went out there four times, which is why there are some isolated segments on my Travel Mapping profile). I also VERY briefly dated someone I met at the arcade we used to hang out at, and that had no online component.

[kphoger]

Only after I was wholeheartedly approved of by them did we tell them we'd met online.

"Thru mutual friends." You were both friends of the internet site, right?

I think I used the answer "We met in Springfield".  Which could technically be true, because the first place we ever physically met was the bus station in Springfield.

One theory is that men on hookup apps are playing the numbers and use it as a crude filtering tactic, the reasoning being that a woman who objects to being sent an unsolicited dick pic is probably not one who is going to be available for sex on demand.  Another theory is that the men who send them are clueless enough to think they'd be delighted if a woman sent an unsolicited pussy pic and can't understand why a woman wouldn't be equally happy to receive the male equivalent.

I find the second theory FAR more likely than the first.

Also, let it not go unnoticed that Jonathan has now typed the word 'pussy'.

And I don't know anyone who does that, so I can't ask anyone I know.

Heck, my company once had to fire a guy because he sent one to a CUSTOMER.  (not that cable guys are generally known to be high-class to begin with...)

[JoePCool14]

I've never tried online dating as I met my current girlfriend in school. From what I've heard from a friend, use either Tinder or Hinge. But do stay away from Bumble.

I can say with almost complete certainty I wouldn't use Tinder. It's way too broad and has too many people just looking to hookup. That's what I've heard from a college friend who ironically is female.

I too met my wife online.

Re: catfishing, I always moved to meet in person relatively quickly and would just cut off anyone who wasn't prepared to do so, so falling victim to this was never even really possible.

I did catch someone in the act once though. Based on how she (well, who knows if it actually was a she) was acting something smelled funny. Conveniently, one of her pictures had a bridge prominently in the background. So I asked her "hey where was that photo with the bridge taken" and the she gave an answer that was demonstrably incorrect, thus confirming my suspicion.

Your story is unbelievably on-brand for this website.

[kevinb1994]

My fiancée & I met via Tinder. Neither of us remember swiping on the other's profile now, but we later figured out that we must have both opened Tinder while on either the Delaware Turnpike or the Delaware Memorial Bridge (as I was on a daytrip to Wildwood that day, and she was on a daytrip to the Camden Aquarium). I opened with a nerdy pickup line that she later said she had never heard before, and there was instant chemistry after that. For our first few dates I drove 1.5-2 hours to her, and intentionally left out that I was driving that far and paying $8 at the Tydings Bridge each time!

Our swipe-versary is coming up in about a month (6 years), we've been engaged for a year & 3 months now, and our wedding is coming up this fall. At first we were embarrassed to admit we met on Tinder (we both initially told our parents we met at a party), but eventually we stopped caring and now openly share it when people ask - much like I'm doing with this post!

Congratulations! Hope all goes well.

I'm not as successful when it comes to online dating as compared to some of the others on this site, and the same can be said of in person too. Not currently looking.

[hbelkins]

One theory is that men on hookup apps are playing the numbers ...

When I first read this portion of the response, I thought you were making a reference to numbers as in the size -- as if the guys are packing a python in their pants and want a prospective female partner to see just how big it is.

[kphoger]

... packing a python in their pants and want a prospective female partner to see just how big it is.

Wow, I didn't know you were such a poet!  That's some good alliteration there...

[adventurernumber1]

I'm currently not actively pursuing a relationship, but will eventually. It's nice to know that online dating can lead to some success. I'd likely try in-person first, though, when I get to that point.

One theory is that men on hookup apps are playing the numbers ...

When I first read this portion of the response, I thought you were making a reference to numbers as in the size -- as if the guys are packing a python in their pants and want a prospective female partner to see just how big it is.

 

[kphoger]

I don't even know where I'd go to meet someone in person, other than at a bar.  And someone who goes out drinking alone to meet people doesn't really sound like the type one should be looking for.

So where is a better choice?

[Max Rockatansky]

I don't even know where I'd go to meet someone in person, other than at a bar.  And someone who goes out drinking alone to meet people doesn't really sound like the type one should be looking for.

So where is a better choice?

Before I met my now wife through eHarmony the previous serious relationships originated from:

-  A car club.
-  Work
-  Someone who once rented a room at a house I owned.

After about the age of 24 I stopped going to bars given how much of a waste of time it was.  I never really recall meeting anyone at a bar that I saw more than a couple dates.

[Takumi]

I don't even know where I'd go to meet someone in person, other than at a bar.  And someone who goes out drinking alone to meet people doesn't really sound like the type one should be looking for.

So where is a better choice?

Mutual contacts, ideally. I once had someone set me up with one of their coworkers, since we had some things in common. However, that only happened once, and fizzled out after a couple weeks at that, in…10 years of post-college searching before my first successful (relatively, given it didn’t work out) online relationship. Most of my contacts are married and only have married friends, and the ones that aren’t don’t really think about relationships at all for themselves or people they know. (It doesn’t help that I don’t want kids, which drops my potential matches to at most 10% of what they’d be if I did or was at least open to them. I’m pretty sure I’ve found the one, though.)

[kkt]

Here's your unsolicited dick pic.



Seriously, what's the deal with that? I've heard of it occurring not only in dating apps, but on Facebook and Twitter as well. I don't understand the mentality of someone who would immediately send someone else a naked picture of himself, or a picture of his sexual organ. It's not something that would even cross my mind to do.

That's a mighty tricky Dick you've got there.

[Max Rockatansky]

Here's your unsolicited dick pic.



Seriously, what's the deal with that? I've heard of it occurring not only in dating apps, but on Facebook and Twitter as well. I don't understand the mentality of someone who would immediately send someone else a naked picture of himself, or a picture of his sexual organ. It's not something that would even cross my mind to do.

That's a mighty tricky Dick you've got there.

This reminds me of all the Dick Trickle jokes my brother used to make before he found out there was an actual race car driver by that name. 

[abefroman329]

I don't even know where I'd go to meet someone in person, other than at a bar.  And someone who goes out drinking alone to meet people doesn't really sound like the type one should be looking for.

So where is a better choice?

Hint: You go there every Sunday.

[hbelkins]

I was never crazy about the bar scene. The music was often too loud, and the places reeked of smoke.

I never had much luck there. Only one time did someone seem interested in me, but it ended up she was married.