Living Alone in the U.S. Is Harder Than It Should Be

[ZLoth]

From The Atlantic:

Living Alone in the U.S. Is Harder Than It Should Be

If you were to look under the roofs of American homes at random, it wouldn't take long to find someone who lives alone. By the Census Bureau's latest count, there are about 36 million solo dwellers, and together they make up 28 percent of U.S. households.

Even though this percentage has been climbing steadily for decades, these people are still living in a society that is tilted against them. In the domains of work, housing, shopping, and health care, much of American life is a little–and in some cases, a lot–easier if you have a partner or live with family members or housemates. The number of people who are inconvenienced by that fact grows every year.

FULL ARTICLE HERE

[Max Rockatansky]

For the most part I thought it was fine.  Before my wife I only had one live-in girlfriend and pretty much lived alone for 90% of my adult life.  The worst years were 19-22 (I shared rent when I was 18) when I lived in apartment by myself and had an income that could barely support it.  My career development took off after that point and I don't recall things too bad from there on financially.  It's not just American society that is designed for multiple people to live together but pretty much is a universal thing in most countries. 

[abefroman329]

I didn't RTFA, but wouldn't the rise of e-commerce lessen the burden of living alone?  Speaking from personal experience, certain aspects of living alone from 2005 to 2012 were difficult, but there were also a hell of a lot fewer things that I could have delivered to me vs. having to purchase them in a store.

[CtrlAltDel]

Some of the article is a bit weird, I think. Traveling alone is different from living alone, and yet they included that as part of the costs of living alone.

[Max Rockatansky]

Some of the article is a bit weird, I think. Traveling alone is different from living alone, and yet they included that as part of the costs of living alone.

It certainly is cheaper traveling alone than with people from my experience.  The cost of food alone spikes the price considerably, especially with kids who can't contribute a share of payment.

[JayhawkCO]

Some of the article is a bit weird, I think. Traveling alone is different from living alone, and yet they included that as part of the costs of living alone.

It certainly is cheaper traveling alone than with people from my experience.  The cost of food alone spikes the price considerably, especially with kids who can't contribute a share of payment.

And, in my case, I can choose less expensive hotels because I don't really care how nice they are (and this is coming from a guy who was an F&B Director at a luxury hotel).  I can also just walk around a city and observe as opposed to needing to have specific plans.

Chris

[CtrlAltDel]

Some of the article is a bit weird, I think. Traveling alone is different from living alone, and yet they included that as part of the costs of living alone.

It certainly is cheaper traveling alone than with people from my experience.  The cost of food alone spikes the price considerably, especially with kids who can't contribute a share of payment.

That's why my parents always liked Shoney's for our road trips down to Florida to visit my grandparents. At the time, kids ate for free, at least if you got the buffet.

[Max Rockatansky]

^^^

Trouble is even less expensive food options can hike costs fast.  I paid almost $40 dollars for a meal for two adults and two kids from McDonald's not too long ago.  When I'm alone or with my wife I usually just pack food or just grab something quick at a gas station.

Some of the article is a bit weird, I think. Traveling alone is different from living alone, and yet they included that as part of the costs of living alone.

It certainly is cheaper traveling alone than with people from my experience.  The cost of food alone spikes the price considerably, especially with kids who can't contribute a share of payment.

And, in my case, I can choose less expensive hotels because I don't really care how nice they are (and this is coming from a guy who was an F&B Director at a luxury hotel).  I can also just walk around a city and observe as opposed to needing to have specific plans.

Chris

I'm usually sticking to the Rodeway Inn and Econo Lodges of the world.  Usually the hotel is just a means to an end and not a space I intend to occupy more than necessary.

[GaryV]

They did point out positives, like you have much more autonomy on doing what you want.  And that most single dwellers are not lonely.

Much of the article's tone was, "But you don't have anyone to share costs."  Whether that's a mortgage/rent or hotel rooms or whatever.

Travel costs are sometimes higher for singles, such as when there is a "singles supplement" for having only one person in a cruise ship cabin.  But usually you pay per person for cruises, so the total is still less for a single.

And I understand the point about larger sizes often being cheaper in the store, yet a single person can't use up the larger quantity.

[abefroman329]

And I understand the point about larger sizes often being cheaper in the store, yet a single person can't use up the larger quantity.

It's also entirely possible for more than one person to live in a home that isn't big enough to store a bunch of economy-sized products.

[hbelkins]

After my dad became a widower, he lived alone for many years. Even being disabled (he had an artificial leg, as he was injured in the Korean conflict, resulting in his left leg being amputated above the knee) he was able to keep up a rural home on a large lot, for most of his life. He occasionally needed assistance, for which I helped.

His mother lived alone for as long as I could remember. She was widowed in the winter of 1962. She also didn't drive. But we lived a mile from her and we were able to do most of her errands for her. She only had a meager income but managed to make do.

My other grandmother became a widow in 1977, and she lived for 10 years after that. She had one child (my mother) and my mom did a lot of things for her until she herself became sick. The two grandsons helped a lot, as did a nephew whom she had raised and was more like a son.

Having someone else in the household isn't always a benefit, if that person isn't working and bringing in income. That shoots down some of the "share the expenses" arguments in the story.

[vdeane]

And I understand the point about larger sizes often being cheaper in the store, yet a single person can't use up the larger quantity.

Often even a normal size can be hard to use up for a single person.  It's one of the reasons why I'm picky with bread (can't eat the 25-30 slice sizes the stores insist on being the default before they start to go bad) and part of why I don't cook much.  Even frozen vegetables usually have enough freezer burn to cause issues before I can finish them.

After my dad became a widower, he lived alone for many years. Even being disabled (he had an artificial leg, as he was injured in the Korean conflict, resulting in his left leg being amputated above the knee) he was able to keep up a rural home on a large lot, for most of his life. He occasionally needed assistance, for which I helped.

His mother lived alone for as long as I could remember. She was widowed in the winter of 1962. She also didn't drive. But we lived a mile from her and we were able to do most of her errands for her. She only had a meager income but managed to make do.

My other grandmother became a widow in 1977, and she lived for 10 years after that. She had one child (my mother) and my mom did a lot of things for her until she herself became sick. The two grandsons helped a lot, as did a nephew whom she had raised and was more like a son.

Having someone else in the household isn't always a benefit, if that person isn't working and bringing in income. That shoots down some of the "share the expenses" arguments in the story.

On the other side of the coin, if they lived on their own with nobody to help, they'd be screwed.

[abefroman329]

And I understand the point about larger sizes often being cheaper in the store, yet a single person can't use up the larger quantity.

Often even a normal size can be hard to use up for a single person.  It's one of the reasons why I'm picky with bread (can't eat the 25-30 slice sizes the stores insist on being the default before they start to go bad) and part of why I don't cook much.  Even frozen vegetables usually have enough freezer burn to cause issues before I can finish them.

There's a brand called Lewis that sells half-loaves of sandwich bread.  I'm not sure whether they're available in your market, though.

[1995hoo]

Ms1995hoo and I like different types of bread (I prefer seven-grain, she likes pumpernickel). I always buy the half-loaf size of Wegmans brand seven-grain and the half-loaf Pepperidge Farm pumpernickel. If I buy full loaves, they get mold before we finish them.

[SP Cook]

I am very happily divorced.  Have been for years.  As to living alone, I would say this:

- I do get the issue with groceries.  It is what it is. 

- I don't see hotels as an issue.  Yes, you could stay 2 or 4 to a room for pretty much the price they charge one person, but that is how it works.  I just stay in the low rent motels any way. 

- Eating out can be an issue in the best restaurants, but those are for dates and such anyway.  I always just set at the bar. 

- Cruise ships are difficult.  I have a friend who is in the same situation as me, and we just double up.  If you cannot do that, there are services that will match people together for cruises.

[abefroman329]

- Cruise ships are difficult.  I have a friend who is in the same situation as me, and we just double up.  If you cannot do that, there are services that will match people together for cruises.

Although sharing a stateroom with a total stranger sounds godawful.

Cunard now has a very limited number of single cabins on Queen Mary 2, I wonder if any other cruise lines have them as well.

[Scott5114]

And I understand the point about larger sizes often being cheaper in the store, yet a single person can't use up the larger quantity.

Often even a normal size can be hard to use up for a single person.  It's one of the reasons why I'm picky with bread (can't eat the 25-30 slice sizes the stores insist on being the default before they start to go bad) and part of why I don't cook much.  Even frozen vegetables usually have enough freezer burn to cause issues before I can finish them.

Hell, you even run into this living in a two-person household. Beef is sold prepackaged by the pound, for example. Even though my wife and I both eat more than we really should, neither of us can eat a half-pound of beef in one sitting. It's kind of a crapshoot if we get around to using the other half of the package before it goes bad. It seems like grocery stores assume everyone is trying to feed a family of four, and make no allowances for anyone else (why not also have half-pound packages of beef on the shelf?).

[abefroman329]

And I understand the point about larger sizes often being cheaper in the store, yet a single person can't use up the larger quantity.

Often even a normal size can be hard to use up for a single person.  It's one of the reasons why I'm picky with bread (can't eat the 25-30 slice sizes the stores insist on being the default before they start to go bad) and part of why I don't cook much.  Even frozen vegetables usually have enough freezer burn to cause issues before I can finish them.

Hell, you even run into this living in a two-person household. Beef is sold prepackaged by the pound, for example. Even though my wife and I both eat more than we really should, neither of us can eat a half-pound of beef in one sitting. It's kind of a crapshoot if we get around to using the other half of the package before it goes bad. It seems like grocery stores assume everyone is trying to feed a family of four, and make no allowances for anyone else (why not also have half-pound packages of beef on the shelf?).

Usually you can buy it from the butcher counter in whatever increment you want.

But yeah, that's the problem I run into on make-your-own pizza night: I'm the only one who likes Italian sausage on their pizza, so my choices are:

(a) Buy bulk sausage from the butcher counter
(b) Buy one or two sausages from the butcher
(c) Buy a pound of bulk sausage or sausages, freeze what I don't eat.

[TheHighwayMan3561]

Aside from the food issues, occasionally I run into an issue of wanting to go to a sports game or other event and sometimes it'll be picky about letting me select a seat because the venue doesn't want to break up pairs of seats.

[triplemultiplex]

Meh; first-world problems.

I see almost all of this as the cost of independence.  Yeah, the world is slanted towards pair-bonded couples... as it should be since they're the ones who are going to perpetuate the society.  So groceries and stuff should generally be geared for that lifestyle.  I can adjust within that system.  (The freezer is an extremely useful tool.)

Yeah no one's splitting the rent, but not ever having an argument about dishes or laundry or the volume of the TV? Priceless!
Not having to coordinate multiple schedules to make room for a quick weekend trip is pretty nice. Can't put a value on stuff like that.

[SP Cook]

Cunard now has a very limited number of single cabins on Queen Mary 2, I wonder if any other cruise lines have them as well.

Norwegian's newest ships have what they call the "singles studio"  which is a cabin for one with access to a private lounge only for those in those cabins.

I have not yet tried these.  Wanted to use it to visit Russia (the only way to visit w/o a visa) but everything is shut down.

[Scott5114]

And I understand the point about larger sizes often being cheaper in the store, yet a single person can't use up the larger quantity.

Often even a normal size can be hard to use up for a single person.  It's one of the reasons why I'm picky with bread (can't eat the 25-30 slice sizes the stores insist on being the default before they start to go bad) and part of why I don't cook much.  Even frozen vegetables usually have enough freezer burn to cause issues before I can finish them.

Hell, you even run into this living in a two-person household. Beef is sold prepackaged by the pound, for example. Even though my wife and I both eat more than we really should, neither of us can eat a half-pound of beef in one sitting. It's kind of a crapshoot if we get around to using the other half of the package before it goes bad. It seems like grocery stores assume everyone is trying to feed a family of four, and make no allowances for anyone else (why not also have half-pound packages of beef on the shelf?).

Usually you can buy it from the butcher counter in whatever increment you want.

True, but this can entail standing in line, and the butcher counter is not always open (when I worked swing shift I would usually arrive at the grocery store around midnight, so prepackaged was all that was available).[/quote]

Freezing excess meat is a thing that often gets recommended, but it doesn't work for me, as my wife has such an irregular sleep schedule, neither of us have any idea when she's going to be awake and hungry. So I can't make plans like "we are going to have X dish at 7pm on Saturday" and start thawing the meat in preparation for that. Any time meat gets put in the freezer, it stays there, forgotten, until the freezer is full and it gets thrown out ("how old is this, anyway?")

I see almost all of this as the cost of independence.  Yeah, the world is slanted towards pair-bonded couples... as it should be since they're the ones who are going to perpetuate the society.  So groceries and stuff should generally be geared for that lifestyle.  I can adjust within that system.  (The freezer is an extremely useful tool.)

"Should" is a pretty big fucking statement there. Besides, I don't think everyone is going to stop having sex if some of the prepackaged hamburger meat at the store is sold in half-pound increments.