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If numbered highways were people

Started by TheGrassGuy, November 09, 2020, 09:35:24 PM

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TheGrassGuy

US-66: the popular kid
US-6: the boring kid
US-491: a heavy-metal guitarist with piercings and tattoos all over
I-80: see above, but from a more humble background
US-101, CA-1, and I-5: swanky blonde California girls
I-95: rich executive from some big east coast city
US-1: old lady who lives in a quiet cottage on the seaside
I-495 (MD/DC/VA): one of those woke activists
US-2: park ranger
US-163: some cowboy dude
I-76: the annoying kid
I-276: the annoying kid's brother
I-476: the annoying kid's college-age sister
I-10: young African-American girl
I-20: middle-aged African-American woman
US-91: terminally ill bedridden old geezer
US-191: the old geezer's much livelier, handsomer, and stronger daughter
I-35: old guy who lives on a farm or ranch
I-564: the Vietnam veteran
I-781: the young soldier
FL-A1A: tan Cuban guy who you'd find in a Hemingway novel
HI-32, HI-36 and HI-360: those long-haired Hawaiian dudes from Moana
I-77: poor person in dusty overalls
NY-895: homeless person
WA-99: another homeless person
I/CA-710: yet another homeless person
I-66: one of those buzz-cut secret agents who drive fancy sports cars
I-69: the wimpy kid who was picked on for having a funny name, but who bulked up fast
I-99: weird girl
US-15: weird girl's boyfriend
US-220: weird girl's ex boyfriend
US-20: weird girl's ex boyfriend's dad
I-85: literally Forrest Gump
If you ever feel useless, remember that CR 504 exists.


Max Rockatansky

#1
US 99; farm plot kid who grows up into farm guy.  US 99 doesn't want to hear from the State when the High Speed Rail comes knocking to buy out some property via eminent domain.
CA 152:  Andrew Firebaugh
CA 49:  Mark Twain
CA 4:  John Ebbetts
CA 88:  Kit Carson
I-80/Old US 40:  George Donner
CA 178:  Joseph Walker
I-5 over the "Grapevine Grade"  would be Edward Fitzgerald Beale.

ilpt4u

#2
I-57: A Chicago-area College Kid
I-55: Blues and/or Jazz Musician
I-190 (IL): Pilot
I-355: Soccer Mom
I-88: Multi-Personality Disorder Patient
I-24: Country Singer
I-90: Toll Collector


STLmapboy

MO-370: The bland suburbanite
MO-364: The new guy on the block
I-270: The established one, seen it all
I-55: Punches above his weight (10 lanes from 270 to Imperial MO)
Teenage STL area roadgeek.
Missouri>>>>>Illinois

kurumi

My first SF/horror short story collection is available: "Young Man, Open Your Winter Eye"

STLmapboy

Teenage STL area roadgeek.
Missouri>>>>>Illinois

Max Rockatansky

#7
US 101 between Los Angeles and San Francisco would be Juan Bautista de Anza.

I-10 east of San Gorgonio Pass would be William D. Bradshaw. 

CA 14 would be Henry Newhall.

CA 108 John Bidwell

CA 89 over Monitor Pass would be Jedediah Smith.

I-580 - Douglas MacArthur 

I-880 - Chester Nimitz

zachary_amaryllis

colorado's i-270: black sheep of the family that gets no respect
clinched:
I-64, I-80, I-76 (west), *64s in hampton roads, 225,270,180 (co, wy)

TheGrassGuy

I-73 - inherently nerdy kid with unrealistic dreams of becoming a basketball player
If you ever feel useless, remember that CR 504 exists.

Henry

I-94: A popular substitute teacher
I-74/US 74 and I-41/US 41: Two sets of twins
I-22: shy Black boy
I-59: confident, older Black man
I-25 and US 85: Adventurous mountain climbers
I-75: Big-time R&B singer
US 41: Aspiring music producer
US 40: Father of I-70
US 50: Mother of I-70
I-70: Son of US 40 and US 50
I-170: Stillborn child of I-70
I-4: Mickey Mouse's butler
I-86: A nomad
I-295: Someone with many aliases
US 64, US 70, US 80 and US 90: Popular country-western quartet
I-30 and I-45: Cowboy and cowgirl couple
US 61: Bob Dylan
Go Cubs Go! Go Cubs Go! Hey Chicago, what do you say? The Cubs are gonna win today!

hbelkins

US 9: Bruce Springsteen
IN 46: John Cougar


Government would be tolerable if not for politicians and bureaucrats.

thspfc

I-90: The grandfather who you see for like 15 minutes at every wedding before he leaves to go to bed early
I-41: The arrogant kid who nobody likes
I-44 and I-94: The humble, middle class, normal kids
I-43: Charlie Berens (look him up on YouTube)
I-39: An average player on a great sports team
I-10: The guy who has a deep southern accent and watches college football all Saturday
US-6: The good looking actor
WI-29: The big man on the high school campus who thinks he is great at everything but then falls on his face in college
Wyoming I-180: The alpha male (duh)
Illinois I-180: The guy who is always "between jobs"
I-70: The guy who is good at literally everything
I-30 and I-45: The guys who think they are part of some sort of elite clique but are hated by everyone else within that clique

That's all I can think of right now.

Max Rockatansky


TheGrassGuy

I would think of US-41 as a hot but adventurous blonde girl who loves taking road trips in her Buick with her younger sister US-441 and her boyfriend I-75. She lives in Chicago, but she spends so much time in sunny old Florida that it might as well be her second home. She likes country music. She's been to many places, from Atlanta, Nashville, Chattanooga, Milwaukee, and the lonesome tippy top of Michigan.

Her twin brother, I-41, however, ain't such a globetrotter. He's built up a homely existence around the Badger State, where he grew up after being separated from his sister at birth. He hardly ever sets foot out of the state he lives in, save for one brief jaunt into Illinois. They've argued often about football.
If you ever feel useless, remember that CR 504 exists.

TheGrassGuy

US-180 - even more of a park ranger than US-2
If you ever feel useless, remember that CR 504 exists.

Max Rockatansky

US 191 is the even bigger National Park Highway and would be Francisco Vazquez de Coronado.

TheGrassGuy

US-20: The boring kid's equally boring playground rival
If you ever feel useless, remember that CR 504 exists.

Max Rockatansky

Quote from: TheGrassGuy on November 10, 2020, 12:25:51 PM
US-20: The boring kid's equally boring playground rival

Except US 20 is the dude who is secretly an avid hiker and spends a ton of time out in Yellowstone.

TheGrassGuy

What kind of person would NC-12 be? (Never been to the Cape, so dunno what the people there are like.)
If you ever feel useless, remember that CR 504 exists.

GaryV


Max Rockatansky

Quote from: GaryV on November 10, 2020, 12:34:27 PM
I-75: Snowbirds

AZ 95 would be the guy in the Minnie Winnie going 25 MPH under the speed limit. 

ilpt4u


TheGrassGuy

I-380 (CA): The pilot's hot blonde gf from the Bay Area who's also a pilot
I-93: The anorexia sufferer
If you ever feel useless, remember that CR 504 exists.

Hot Rod Hootenanny

I-71 - Retired NFL Running back (or Linebacker). Still in denial over the 2020 elections.
I-94 - Paul Bunyan
US 30 - Annoyed with US 66's attention. Always prefaces its tales with the disclaimer, "mine were true!"
US 40 - Retired, has to use a wheelchair due to part of its left leg being amputated.
US 42 - 12th man on NBA roster
US 49 - Sonny Boy Williamson (blues musician)
US 50 - A loner
US 61 - Not Bob Dylan, but Mark Twain
US 68 - LGBTQ
US 36 - Retail store management
US 422 - My alter-ego
Oh 3 - A ghost
I-675 (Dayton) - Bootsy Collins*
I-275 (Cincy) - J.D. Vance (author of Hillbilly Elegy)
I-270 (Columbus) - Your average American
I-480 (Cleveland) - Late middle age blue color worker. Too old to learn a new job, too young to qualify for retirement. Worships his Bernie Kosar Browns jersey (and has despised Bill Belichick since 1995)

* - Bootsy hails from Cincinnati, but Dayton is more known for 1970s era funk musicians.
Please, don't sue Alex & Andy over what I wrote above



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