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Regional Boards => Great Lakes and Ohio Valley => Topic started by: bessertc on March 20, 2019, 10:16:21 PM

Title: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
Post by: bessertc on March 20, 2019, 10:16:21 PM
Hey All,

A dear friend of mine will be moderating a meeting consisting of a lot of "big-wigs" from the Michigan DOT and the FHWA Michigan Division office and would like some transportation- or highway-related jokes or other humor as ice-breakers to use here and there throughout the day-long meeting. I was also asked to prepare a list of 10 fun/interesting trivia questions about Michigan's highways, but I've got that covered. I'm a bit stumped, though, on transportation- or highway-related jokes. I'm hoping you guys can help me with that part. Any contributions are welcome!!

Thanks in advance,
Chris

--
Christopher J Bessert
chris.bessert@gmail.com
www.michiganhighways.org (http://www.michiganhighways.org)
Title: Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
Post by: Rick Powell on March 21, 2019, 03:44:06 AM
A man coming from a farmer's market in the U.P. hits a pothole, blows a tire out, and is stranded on the side of the road.
He then says, "I should've bought asparagus."
Title: Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
Post by: hotdogPi on March 21, 2019, 05:32:41 AM
You can probably make the story of Colorado's mile marker 419.99 into a paragraph-long joke, especially as it actually exists.
Title: Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
Post by: Mapmikey on March 21, 2019, 09:17:19 AM
Polling often shows that most drivers believe they are above average.  A way to test that is to look at how many drivers are over the median.
Title: Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
Post by: abefroman329 on March 21, 2019, 09:25:49 AM
When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a driveway!
Title: Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
Post by: jeffandnicole on March 21, 2019, 09:37:22 AM
Hope the jokes aren't as salty as the roads.
Title: Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
Post by: hbelkins on March 21, 2019, 11:57:50 AM
Might suggest a thread merge with the other one, in which I posted about a band of highway-related folks that calls itself Phil 'n The Potholes.
Title: Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
Post by: Mr. Matté on March 21, 2019, 01:16:29 PM
Quote from: abefroman329 on March 21, 2019, 09:25:49 AM
When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a driveway!

Or do an audience participation segment and ask the age-old question "Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?"
Title: Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
Post by: abefroman329 on March 21, 2019, 02:17:32 PM
Quote from: Mr. Matté on March 21, 2019, 01:16:29 PM
Quote from: abefroman329 on March 21, 2019, 09:25:49 AM
When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a driveway!

Or do an audience participation segment and ask the age-old question "Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?"
Or, as Gallagher once pointed out, you have a pair of panties, but just one bra.
Title: Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
Post by: kphoger on March 21, 2019, 02:19:43 PM
Quote from: abefroman329 on March 21, 2019, 02:17:32 PM
Or, as Gallagher once pointed out, you have a pair of panties, but just one bra.

Of course, if this were a logical world, it would be the men who rode side-saddle.
Title: Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
Post by: abefroman329 on March 21, 2019, 02:44:20 PM
Quote from: kphoger on March 21, 2019, 02:19:43 PM
Quote from: abefroman329 on March 21, 2019, 02:17:32 PM
Or, as Gallagher once pointed out, you have a pair of panties, but just one bra.

Of course, if this were a logical world, it would be the men who rode side-saddle.
His joke about "why are they cowboys?  Cows are girls and bulls are boys" is stupid, since "cowboy" is just the English translation of the Spanish "vaquero."
Title: Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
Post by: nexus73 on March 21, 2019, 02:53:32 PM
"Why did the chicken cross the road?" jokes should have some usable material.

Now to see what kind of punchlines we can come up with...

"Because the chicken had the right permit!".

Rick
Title: Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
Post by: cbeach40 on March 22, 2019, 09:38:29 AM
xkcd has some comics that might help:

https://xkcd.com/253/
https://xkcd.com/277/
https://xkcd.com/781/
https://xkcd.com/1116/
Title: Re: Help! Need Transportation-Related Humor!
Post by: skluth on March 29, 2019, 07:18:03 PM
Quote from: cbeach40 on March 22, 2019, 09:38:29 AM
xkcd has some comics that might help:

https://xkcd.com/253/
https://xkcd.com/277/
https://xkcd.com/781/
https://xkcd.com/1116/

This is my favorite geography-related xkcd even if it's not transportation-related.
https://xkcd.com/977/