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Author Topic: Canadian Summer Road Trip Poem from a Californian...Parody !! Will Vistit  (Read 434 times)

Concrete Bob

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  • Posts: 126
  • Roadgeek since 1966 - When Caltrans moved traffic

  • Age: 57
  • Location: Wholesome, Folsom CA
  • Last Login: Today at 06:10:41 AM

I live in Canada, and have a great job

I work in oil and gas, and make money by the gob

I have a nice house, cool car and a cute French speakin' Canadian Girl
When the carnival comes here to Saskatoon, we eat funnel cake and ride the Tilt a Whirl

 

When they built my house, I had them put in a pool

But it's frozen over from mid September until early June

I put on ice skates and fall on my Canadian @$$

The ice on the pool is as smooth as window glass

 

The diving board serves no purpose ten months out of the year

Human blood on the ice pond is a serious fear

Come mid June, the pool is like an Icee from 7-Eleven

Slushy with ice bits, but getting closer to heaven

 

By July, the water is very warm: 3 degrees Celcius- 38 degrees Fareinheit.  Coca-Cola warmth, quite a delight

I swim with my French Canadian girl, but her lips turn a little blue.   

We wait until the warmest time of the year, the end of July.

In the morning, there is clear blue sky.

 

24 degrees Celcius-76 degrees F,  the perfect time for the pool.

"Baby, I've chlorinated the pond, there ain't no moose turds or Eskimo piss in here"

"Put on your bikini and get in the pool, but first grab you some wine and me a beer"

"We'll swim and dive, in this hot, hot weather....We shall stay very cool!"

 

Suddenly, the sky turned black, and the wind began to howl

The thunder began to rumble like an overweight person's lower intestinal bowel

Lightning began to crack the sky, and disaster sirens broke the silence

People ran for cover in their basements, Me and French Canadian Chick were no exception

 

It rained heavily for the next twelve hours. Me and French Canadian Chick couldn't barbecue our Elk Steaks

We went and got Donuts and Poutine from Tim Horton's .......That's the breaks

One thing is for sure, you are a complete fool

If you live in Canada, and have an outdoor pool !!!!
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Concrete Bob

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  • Posts: 126
  • Roadgeek since 1966 - When Caltrans moved traffic

  • Age: 57
  • Location: Wholesome, Folsom CA
  • Last Login: Today at 06:10:41 AM

This is just a badly-written poem I put together about ten years ago and sent to my relatives in 2009.  Honestly, once the COVID restrictions are released, I plan on visiting the Prairies once COVID passes.  Summer Canadian weather is majestic, the sunsets are awesome, and the restaurants are tasty.  I have been wanting to visit the Canadian Prairies since the 1970s. I retired last summer, and had intended to take a road trip to Western Canada.  When things get back to normal, I am looing forward to driving the Alberta Ring Roads, and perhaps some Regina and Saskatoon  regional ring roads, looking for the future off ramps and overpasses.
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