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Author Topic: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality  (Read 1182 times)

ZLoth

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Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« on: March 19, 2023, 09:58:21 AM »

Found these two articles from Buzzfeed:

People Are Sharing The Harsh Realities They Realized When They First Lived On Their Own
It's not always all it's cracked up to be.

FULL ARTICLE HERE

People Are Sharing Adult Things They Thought Would Be Awesome As A Kid That They're Definitely Reconsidering Now That They've Grown Up
"I thought getting mail was so cool as a kid. Now as an adult, I realize that itís just bills."
Quote
It feels like we all spent half of our childhood dreaming about what being an adult would be like so that we could finally do everything we wanted to do. But now that we actually are grown up, it feels like the adulthood we idealized was definitely not the reality we got.
FULL ARTICLE HERE
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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2023, 10:03:43 AM »

"I thought getting mail was so cool as a kid. Now as an adult, I realize that itís just bills."

I still like getting mail, perhaps in no small part because all of my bills come online.
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ZLoth

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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2023, 11:49:24 AM »

When I graduated from college (as a older student, no less), I thought I would finally be able to enjoy life and perhaps do some traveling and see the world. Boy, was I wrong. I spent the next several years paying off my college debts (it would have been faster, but I was also making full contributions to retirement funds). I thought that once I got my debts got paid off, I would be able to do some traveling. That's one of the reasons why I accepted job relocation to the DFW area because it is a major travel hub for two airlines, plus better opportunities for road trips. How wrong I was thanks to Covid in 2020 and 2021, gas prices shooting through the roof in 2022, and now being an adult caregiver. Plus, there is the problem of making sure everything is caught up or reassgined before you leave, and catching up when you get back for two weeks of PTO. I've been on some trips that could be considered major, such as heading up to Smith's Ferry in 2017 for the Solar eclipse, immediately followed by an Alaskan Cruise. But, plans for road trips have been placed on hold.
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Max Rockatansky

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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #3 on: March 19, 2023, 12:04:06 PM »

I thought Florida was great as a kid, I found it an incredibly boring place to live as an adult.  I was much more entertained by theme parks and beaches when I was young.  Nowadays I need some diversity in my terrain and spend more time doing things like hiking.

I used to think hot weather was great as a kid and despised cold weather.  That mindset got me has since reversed as an adult.

I also used to hate exercise early in childhood, in particular running.  This likely had to do with my severe asthma as a kid.  I ended up getting to sported in middle school which took care of the asthma.  When I turned 18 I took up distance running and kept up with it since.  I like running and general strength training exercises.  I like them enough to the point that my wife complains about how much time I spend exercising sometimes, for me itís relaxing.
« Last Edit: March 19, 2023, 12:06:57 PM by Max Rockatansky »
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Ted$8roadFan

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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #4 on: March 19, 2023, 12:41:26 PM »

As a Gen-Xer and child of the 80s, I was constantly reminded of how good life was in the immediate postwar years thanks to the 50s nostalgia and the tumult of the decades that followed. Of course, this was represented by shows such as Happy Days that were popular when I was a kid. Yes, popular media isnít the best (or even accurate) representation of life. And of course, Iím sure the reality was more complicated back then as opposed to the sitcom version, but it did seem better (hindsight being 20/20 of course). Even the Brady Bunch (on reruns in the 80s) seemed innocent.

Then growing up in the 80s, we had inflation, two-income families that left a generation of latchkey kids (raises hand), public health epidemics (AIDS, crack), declining standards of living, the Cold War, high rates of crime, and other bad things. And yet today, those times also seem innocent by comparison because I was young and detached from those realities. Now as an adult, there are times I look back to my youth and realize how good I had it, and sometimes wishing I was younger. Of course, this only happens after you get older. Some things have gotten better, and some things have gotten worse. I guess itís all a matter of perspective.
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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2023, 12:46:35 PM »

Certainly some things have gotten better and others worse, coming from an 80s baby/90s kid.

As a child I hated getting clothes as gifts. Now, I think thatís fantastic.
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Max Rockatansky

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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2023, 01:52:33 PM »

I used to love video games in the 1980s and 1990s.  When I became an adult, I started playing them less and less for numerous reasons.  My money mostly went into paying bills, traveling when I could and going on dates.  By the time I could reasonably afford games in my budget again I had so many other things going on that I stopped playing them.
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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #7 on: March 19, 2023, 02:10:18 PM »

When I was a kid, a Tombstone pizza was "too spicy" for me.  Nowadays, I'm quick to reach for the pepper flakes or a dash of hot sauce for my slice.

I also figured I'd own a little fishing boat by now.  But as it is, I got nowhere to park something like that and that's the kind of thing way down the spending priority list.  So I get by with the cheap kayak I bought off of someone from work.
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TheHighwayMan394

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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #8 on: March 19, 2023, 02:25:53 PM »

I don't miss being a kid. I know people hate this term, but I think due to my autism I was always somewhat of an "old soul" who learned certain skills by observing others. Looking back on it, it probably caused problems with adults who didn't like it when I accidentally came off as acting like I was equal to them as a result.

I don't miss taking the brunt of people's anger toward other adults that they couldn't or wouldn't address with whoever made them mad. Just easier to cuss me out over spilled milk and be done with it. I also like being able to do my own stuff without people looking for reasons to target me.
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SectorZ

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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2023, 02:45:40 PM »

AIDS, crack
Bernie Goetz

(Sorry, I had to...)
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Rothman

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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #10 on: March 19, 2023, 03:49:19 PM »

Although I think there is truth to the phrase that youth is wasted on the young and I regret a lot of time I idled away when I was younger, have to say I do enjoy the freedom of being an adult.  Of course, I find such freedom strongly correlated with the amount of money in my bank account.
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Roadgeekteen

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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #11 on: March 19, 2023, 04:34:23 PM »

When I was a kid I thought that the system actually worked in people's favor the majority of the time. Hahaha.
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Big John

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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #12 on: March 19, 2023, 04:42:09 PM »

As a child I was perpetually scapegoated and had no rights.  I thought as an adult I would get some rights, but they were all the right to conform.
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Rothman

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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #13 on: March 19, 2023, 04:57:46 PM »

As a child I was perpetually scapegoated and had no rights.  I thought as an adult I would get some rights, but they were all the right to conform.
This sounds like it's your fault.
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Scott5114

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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #14 on: March 19, 2023, 06:11:54 PM »

When I was a kid, I heard a lot of "when you're older you'll think XYZ".

Now that I'm older I still don't think XYZ, I just have been able to figure out the reason why my gut feeling that XYZ is bullshit was correct.
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Max Rockatansky

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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #15 on: March 19, 2023, 06:23:41 PM »

When I was a kid, I heard a lot of "when you're older you'll think XYZ".

Now that I'm older I still don't think XYZ, I just have been able to figure out the reason why my gut feeling that XYZ is bullshit was correct.

The big one for me is ďyouíll want kids.Ē  I spent the majority of my adult life affirmed in the belief that I didnít want any and I still donít have them. 
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bulldog1979

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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #16 on: March 19, 2023, 09:03:44 PM »

I was convinced that I didn't want kids. For various reasons now that I'm in my mid-40s, I ponder revisiting that.

Of course, coming out at age 18 in early 1998 also impacted or even cemented my thoughts about having kids at that time. Now, things are different.
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Max Rockatansky

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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #17 on: March 19, 2023, 09:11:00 PM »

Iím open to the idea of one.  The primary reasons for this are twofold:

1.  I am at a point in my life where it wouldnít be a significant financial burden.
2.  My marriage is stable enough that I feel comfortable to facilitate it. 
3.  Given the above two factors I donít think one child would significantly change my life for the negative. 

My wife and I have tried since COVID really got going during early 2020.  Trouble is that it seems we might have missed a biological window.  There is a couple more options remaining before we throw in the towel for good.  Truth be told, if it doesnít happen Iím okay with that being the outcome.
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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #18 on: March 20, 2023, 12:26:21 AM »

I thought I'd want children when I was young, but realized in the past few years that I wouldn't be a good fit (and I'd need to be into women anyways, and I really don't know if I am anymore; I also thought I'd straight when I was a kid... see where I am now, my forum avatar is a gay dragonborn for god's sake).

Though I will say, although I miss the lack of responsibility I had as a kid, and the lack of things I have to do, I can't say I miss it in its entirely. Between anxiety and the parents I have, I found myself kind of... forced into a box, being forced to be someone who I ultimately wasn't.

Although I will dread paying bills, and student loans, and having to file taxes (yuck) and have adult responsibilities, I really think I'm better off on my own, when I don't have a reputation to hold up in a school setting, or having to conform to the standards and practices of those who support me.

One thing hasn't changed... I still hate Illinois! I'm getting the hell out of here when I graduate!
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epzik8

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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #19 on: March 20, 2023, 07:55:40 AM »

I pay all of my bills online, but that doesn't get rid of any of the stress of doing so.
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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #20 on: March 20, 2023, 09:10:36 AM »



Though I will say, although I miss the lack of responsibility I had as a kid, and the lack of things I have to do, I can't say I miss it in its entirely. Between anxiety and the parents I have, I found myself kind of... forced into a box, being I really think I'm better off on my own, when I don't have a reputation to hold up in a school setting, or having to conform to the standards and practices of those who support me.

You're still a kid. :D

I would say reputation becomes even more important in the workplace, but in a better way.  In my experience, a good reputation in the workplace is more built upon one's demonstrated skills rather than how one navigates socially.  Of course, using one's reputation to generate more income is a separate matter...

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JayhawkCO

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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #21 on: March 20, 2023, 09:40:14 AM »

1) That adults were smart. I remember very clearly walking back from a class my freshman year in college with a "non-traditional" student, aka a guy that was in his mid 30's. He told me "people get older; they don't get smarter".

2) I once thought there was only one path to success - go to college, get a degree, maybe do grad school of some kind, get a high paying job, ride off into the sunset. Instead, I ended up not finishing my degree, working in the restaurant biz for a long time, traveling the world, and now somehow working for a large tech company despite all that. There are many roads to get to where you want to go, but none of them are straight lines.

3) Taboo topics, but I'll just say that certain religious and political ideologies that made sense as a kid don't make sense now.

kurumi

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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #22 on: March 20, 2023, 02:54:43 PM »

When I was a kid, there were plenty of assholes in school. But my friends' parents, and my parents' friends, were basically all polite and reasonable and friendly.

Instead of realizing "hey, there's some selection bias happening here," I instead concluded that being an asshole was something that people naturally grew out of.

I... was wrong.

Most people I run into as an adult are cool, but that may still be selecting from where I live, what I do for a living, what I do for fun, the friends I already have, etc.

(There's some overlap with what JayhawkCO noted about adults being smart, or not.)

But there are plenty of assholes out there. Of all ages.
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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #23 on: March 20, 2023, 03:02:31 PM »

I thought 100 was a lot.

It was a big thing in my child's mind that my dad drove 100 miles a week to get to and from work. The school where he taught was 10 miles from our home.

I also thought $100 was a lot of money. Now, it's 1-1/4 of a typical shopping trip at Walmart.
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Re: Adulthoods: What we through of as kids verses actual reality
« Reply #24 on: March 20, 2023, 03:21:31 PM »

When I was a kid intelligence wasnít something that was exactly valued among my peers.  In fact, I found that openly displaying too much intelligence could actually negatively affect my social standing.   While I wouldnít say intelligence isnít exactly valued by all my adult peers there are more ways to make it a persona/profitable asset. 
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