Worst toys you had

[TheGrassGuy]

I was just talking about this topic the other day.  For me it was the Vertibird

I remember begging for that thing and, when I finally got it, it was the most useless piece of crap ever invented.

One year, three of my friends and I all got VertiBirds for Christmas.  And they all had the same basic flaw.  After about 45 minutes of operation, the solder joint connecting the spring in the center console to the rotating rod in the arm (this is what drove the rotor in the copter) broke.  Despite my father's best efforts with his soldering iron, we never managed to reconnect it.

Wasn't there a Calvin and Hobbes comic about it?

[roadman]

I was just talking about this topic the other day.  For me it was the Vertibird

I remember begging for that thing and, when I finally got it, it was the most useless piece of crap ever invented.

One year, three of my friends and I all got VertiBirds for Christmas.  And they all had the same basic flaw.  After about 45 minutes of operation, the solder joint connecting the spring in the center console to the rotating rod in the arm (this is what drove the rotor in the copter) broke.  Despite my father's best efforts with his soldering iron, we never managed to reconnect it.

Wasn't there a Calvin and Hobbes comic about it?

Calvin and Hobbes had a continuing story about a mail-order propeller beanie that took forever to arrive.  Calvin thought by wearing the beanie, he would be able to fly.  Or course, when it finally arrived, he was very disappointed.  What's the point of wearing a propeller beanie if it can't even make you fly.

[formulanone]

I was just talking about this topic the other day.  For me it was the Vertibird

I remember begging for that thing and, when I finally got it, it was the most useless piece of crap ever invented.

One year, three of my friends and I all got VertiBirds for Christmas.  And they all had the same basic flaw.  After about 45 minutes of operation, the solder joint connecting the spring in the center console to the rotating rod in the arm (this is what drove the rotor in the copter) broke.  Despite my father's best efforts with his soldering iron, we never managed to reconnect it.

Wasn't there a Calvin and Hobbes comic about it?

Calvin and Hobbes had a continuing story about a mail-order propeller beanie that took forever to arrive.  Calvin thought by wearing the beanie, he would be able to fly.  Or course, when it finally arrived, he was very disappointed.  What's the point of wearing a propeller beanie if it can't even make you fly.

And like any kid, he had more fun with the box it came in.



I really can't recall any terrible toys I had as a kid...I probably had a few that I quickly ignored and/or were forgettable. My parents tended to opt for durable stuff that didn't require batteries. Blocks, die-cast cars, Legos, action-figures, and whatever I could make with paper, string, rocks, rubber bands, and other household junk, et al.

My kids got a lot of toys over the years. Pretty much anything they've bought/received at Walt Disney World would be the worst. Usually cheaply-made, priced on the high end for quality, and tend to be incompatible with anything else in size/dimension. I'm loathe to buy anything but food and drink there.

[TheGrassGuy]

I was just talking about this topic the other day.  For me it was the Vertibird

I remember begging for that thing and, when I finally got it, it was the most useless piece of crap ever invented.

One year, three of my friends and I all got VertiBirds for Christmas.  And they all had the same basic flaw.  After about 45 minutes of operation, the solder joint connecting the spring in the center console to the rotating rod in the arm (this is what drove the rotor in the copter) broke.  Despite my father's best efforts with his soldering iron, we never managed to reconnect it.

Wasn't there a Calvin and Hobbes comic about it?

Calvin and Hobbes had a continuing story about a mail-order propeller beanie that took forever to arrive.  Calvin thought by wearing the beanie, he would be able to fly.  Or course, when it finally arrived, he was very disappointed.  What's the point of wearing a propeller beanie if it can't even make you fly.

And like any kid, he had more fun with the box it came in.



I really can't recall any terrible toys I had as a kid...I probably had a few that I quickly ignored and/or were forgettable. My parents tended to opt for durable stuff that didn't require batteries. Blocks, die-cast cars, Legos, action-figures, and whatever I could make with paper, string, rocks, rubber bands, and other household junk, et al.

My kids got a lot of toys over the years. Pretty much anything they've bought/received at Walt Disney World would be the worst. Usually cheaply-made, priced on the high end for quality, and tend to be incompatible with anything else in size/dimension. I'm loathe to buy anything but food and drink there.

Pro tip: next time you bring your kids to Disney theme parks, buy a bunch of toys online ahead of time, and distribute them at key moments during the trip.

[formulanone]

My kids got a lot of toys over the years. Pretty much anything they've bought/received at Walt Disney World would be the worst. Usually cheaply-made, priced on the high end for quality, and tend to be incompatible with anything else in size/dimension. I'm loathe to buy anything but food and drink there.

Pro tip: next time you bring your kids to Disney theme parks, buy a bunch of toys online ahead of time, and distribute them at key moments during the trip.

Yeah, sounds good in theory...but kids want things when they see stores, and relatives enable that.

[GCrites]

My original Nintendo kind of sucked too, because you had to constantly blow on the cartridges to get them to work, but at least I could it to work most of the time and it was fun when it did work.

I got an SNES for Christmas in 1994 and it wasn't until about 10 years ago that it started having the same problems. Another issue was when the battery paks in the cartridges would die, which meant that you couldn't save your games anymore. Last year, I was lucky enough to find a mini SNES Classic at Walmart. My original SNES still fires up, though.

I got an N64 in 1999 and surprisingly, the cartridges haven't really been an issue, but the controller joysticks were shit.

The worst Nintendo console I had was the GameCube. I got one for Christmas in 2001 and it lasted about 3 years and then it suddenly stopped reading discs, even those that were brand new. I got another new GameCube in 2004 and that one didn't even make it to 3 years before it stopped reading discs. I did some research online and apparently GameCubes were notorious for that. I gave up and got a Wii in 2009, which still works great today.

The GameCube had great games and controllers, but the console was shit.

That's why emulation is awesome you don't have to worry about lithium ion batteries dying and losing your data.  With then NES you had to hold reset while powering off otherwise the game might erase the stored data.  That sucked ass playing games like Final Fantasy or the Dragon Warrior series.

I've owned video game stores for 10 years now. I learned that the whole 2032 save batteries going bad in NES and SNES games thing is a myth. I wasn't expecting it because they told us back then that the batteries would only last five years. Every single battery we test on NES, SNES, Genesis, SMS is still at least 2.9 volts if not 3+ volts. I just tested a battery on a 5-screw Legend of Zelda which means that at the latest it was manufactured in December of 1987. It was at 3.08 volts (3.00 is par). After 32 years. What does happen is that the game gets dropped or the battery comes loose from being improperly manufactured. This is extremely rare. The reason Nintendo suggested holding Reset while turning the system off is to prevent voltage spikes that had the potential to clear the memory. This is also fairly rare, but not out of the question. What is actually more common, but still very unusual is bad surface mount capacitors on the board that prevent saving. What is most common is that customers don't know how to save the game properly since the protocols for saving were much more ambiguous on older games than on today's games.

Game Boy batteries though, were much smaller 2025s or even the very small 1616s that often had to power a clock in the game. Those are subject to running out in 3-5 years.

[Max Rockatansky]

My original Nintendo kind of sucked too, because you had to constantly blow on the cartridges to get them to work, but at least I could it to work most of the time and it was fun when it did work.

I got an SNES for Christmas in 1994 and it wasn't until about 10 years ago that it started having the same problems. Another issue was when the battery paks in the cartridges would die, which meant that you couldn't save your games anymore. Last year, I was lucky enough to find a mini SNES Classic at Walmart. My original SNES still fires up, though.

I got an N64 in 1999 and surprisingly, the cartridges haven't really been an issue, but the controller joysticks were shit.

The worst Nintendo console I had was the GameCube. I got one for Christmas in 2001 and it lasted about 3 years and then it suddenly stopped reading discs, even those that were brand new. I got another new GameCube in 2004 and that one didn't even make it to 3 years before it stopped reading discs. I did some research online and apparently GameCubes were notorious for that. I gave up and got a Wii in 2009, which still works great today.

The GameCube had great games and controllers, but the console was shit.

That's why emulation is awesome you don't have to worry about lithium ion batteries dying and losing your data.  With then NES you had to hold reset while powering off otherwise the game might erase the stored data.  That sucked ass playing games like Final Fantasy or the Dragon Warrior series.

I've owned video game stores for 10 years now. I learned that the whole 2032 save batteries going bad in NES and SNES games thing is a myth. I wasn't expecting it because they told us back then that the batteries would only last five years. Every single battery we test on NES, SNES, Genesis, SMS is still at least 2.9 volts if not 3+ volts. I just tested a battery on a 5-screw Legend of Zelda which means that at the latest it was manufactured in December of 1987. It was at 3.08 volts (3.00 is par). After 32 years. What does happen is that the game gets dropped or the battery comes loose from being improperly manufactured. This is extremely rare. The reason Nintendo suggested holding Reset while turning the system off is to prevent voltage spikes that had the potential to clear the memory. This is also fairly rare, but not out of the question. What is actually more common, but still very unusual is bad surface mount capacitors on the board that prevent saving. What is most common is that customers don't know how to save the game properly since the protocols for saving were much more ambiguous on older games than on today's games.

Game Boy batteries though, were much smaller 2025s or even the very small 1616s that often had to power a clock in the game. Those are subject to running out in 3-5 years.

What I can attest to is my NES games had power in the battery until the last couple year years.  My SNES, Genesis and Game Boy (which is weird considering you're seeing 3-5 years) stuff that played recently still can save data.  The whole design of the NES not being a top loader I suspect had a part in the save issues I had.  Games would often glitch up after several hours of play which probably had a lot to do with bent connector pins which I was temporarily fixing by blowing onto the cartridge before hand.  More often than not when a glitch occurred it would start resetting the system which would probably erase save data 25% of the time if not stopped fast. 

[Rothman]

Hm.  My Zelda NES cartridge certainly acts like its battery died.  No other NES cartridge I own has kicked the bucket like it.

[GCrites]

Remember that in Zelda 1 you must die before you are allowed to save.

[Max Rockatansky]

Remember that in Zelda 1 you must die before you are allowed to save.

Actually...

[hotdogPi]

When I see the "It's dangerous to go alone" screen, I keep thinking of this one.

[GCrites]

Remember that in Zelda 1 you must die before you are allowed to save.

Actually...

Huh, that's a new one. I wonder if that is left over somehow from the controller 2 functionality from the Famicom version.

Also Game Boy games that do not have a clock in them usually have the full voltage in the battery still and also continue to save.

[Max Rockatansky]

Remember that in Zelda 1 you must die before you are allowed to save.

Actually...

Huh, that's a new one. I wonder if that is left over somehow from the controller 2 functionality from the Famicom version.

Yeah it was a "secret to everyone"  probably until the 1990s.  I remember reading about on the gaming bulletin boards on Prodigy Online and I was surprised it actually worked.  I want to say it ended up Nintendo Power at some point but I don't recall. 

[GCrites]

I wouldn't really recommend counting on that every time for a couple reasons. 1) Removing controllers while playing can cause the NES to crash and 2) The possibility of jostling the system around when removing/plugging in the controller that could lead to the cartridge carriage tray popping up which will loosen the game's connection with the 72-pin connector.

[Max Rockatansky]

I wouldn't really recommend counting on that every time for a couple reasons. 1) Removing controllers while playing can cause the NES to crash and 2) The possibility of jostling the system around when removing/plugging in the controller that could lead to the cartridge carriage tray popping up which will loosen the game's connection with the 72-pin connector.

It does work with both controllers plugged in also, it seemed like the guy in the video didn't have a second one on hand. 

[GCrites]

Ah, that's a lot safer. It's probably not related to the Famicom version's controller 2 functionality then since Famicom controllers are hardwired and its 2nd controller eschews Start and Select buttons in favor of a microphone. I was thinking unplugging the controller and plugging it back into the 2nd port might have caused a glitch in a game originally made for hardwired controllers.

[Max Rockatansky]

Ah, that's a lot safer. It's probably not related to the Famicom version's controller 2 functionality then since Famicom controllers are hardwired and its 2nd controller eschews Start and Select buttons in favor of a microphone. I was thinking unplugging the controller and plugging it back into the 2nd port might have caused a glitch in a game originally made for hardwired controllers.

Some NES games do have some strange second controller glitches.  One that comes to mind is Mega Man 3 if you hold the A button on the second controller.  Pressing A on the second controller allows you to jump into pits and not die.  If you stay in a pit long enough Mega Man will be able to moon jump and will go into an undead state with no health.  The really weird part is that music cuts out but you are otherwise invincible unless you pick up health or touch a spike.  I used to mess with my friends and put a chair on the A button on the second controller, took them awhile to pick up I was exploiting a glitch. 

[GCrites]

Now I do remember that one. I beat the game that way then shamelessly put it on my "beat that one" list. The trick was in Nintendo Power or EGM.

[Max Rockatansky]

Now I do remember that one. I beat the game that way then shamelessly put it on my "beat that one" list. The trick was in Nintendo Power or EGM.

There was a couple levels near the end that didn't have bottomless pits that really couldn't be cheesed at least.  But by then if someone used the glitch there really isn't much reason not to have nine E-Tanks ready to go. 

[RobbieL2415]

EasyBake Oven

Everything tasted like crap.

[Max Rockatansky]

EasyBake Oven

Everything tasted like crap.

I always thought the ease of severe burns was more of a drawback. 

[nexus73]

Going back to the Sixties: Bazooka bubblegum included a little comic.  Those comics had ads for various items on them.  One showed a pretty cool pair of walkie-talkies for 35 cents (which was real money back then as it would buy a pack of smokes, a gallon of gas or a burger and you got change back) plus half a dozen of the Bazooka comics.  The drawing did not match up with what I got, a cheap tin toy that had two pieces connected by a somewhat short string which was made in Taiwan.  That toy might have been worth 10 cents at a "five and dime" store, if that.  Boy was I disappointed and that is how I learned the value of skepticism when facing a deal which looked too good to be true.

I am still mad (but enlightened) about the bad deal to this day. 

Rick

[bandit957]

Going back to the Sixties: Bazooka bubblegum included a little comic.  Those comics had ads for various items on them.  One showed a pretty cool pair of walkie-talkies for 35 cents (which was real money back then as it would buy a pack of smokes, a gallon of gas or a burger and you got change back) plus half a dozen of the Bazooka comics.  The drawing did not match up with what I got, a cheap tin toy that had two pieces connected by a somewhat short string which was made in Taiwan.  That toy might have been worth 10 cents at a "five and dime" store, if that.  Boy was I disappointed and that is how I learned the value of skepticism when facing a deal which looked too good to be true.

I am still mad (but enlightened) about the bad deal to this day.

That's like the Sea Monkeys scam. Anyone else remember those?

[PHLBOS]

That's like the Sea Monkeys scam. Anyone else remember those?

I believe I got one of those as a grab-bag gift in elementary school back in the mid-70s.  Never amounted to anything.

[Rothman]

How was it a scam?  Little brine shrimp always lived in the ones I saw.