Business terms and buzzwords you hate

[texaskdog]

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/bs-xpm-1993-11-24-1993328142-story.html

Funny, this is from 1993 but I don't think it got out of control until the last few years.

[texaskdog]

That principle, in my opinion, should carry over into the workplace:  my boss is not merely a co-worker, but rather she is hierarchically above me.  That's a good thing, and a distinction that should not be erased by semantics.

I don't think we're really disagreeing, then, because leader is distinct from member, and therefore, the distinction isn't erased by semantics.

I can be someone’s friend or I can be their boss, I can’t be both.  There is a clear hierarchy in what I do, so why use diminishing terminology?  A “team leader” or “team member” doesn’t imply a professional relationship.  It might imply a sports relationship, but not definitely not a Manager/Employee relation. 

Exactly. You see a lot of these sorts of things where they want to trick you into thinking it's not a hierarchy because they think that'll help morale, but they sure do want to keep all the perks of there being a hierarchy in place. That just makes things confusing because, well, are you the boss or not?

The leader is the boss - that seems simple enough to me. If there's good ownership and a good business culture, it's not really a "trick" - everyone really is in it together. There can still be elements of a hierarchy and a clear chain of command without it being rigid and inflexible.

I agree the fake humanization with "team member" is stupid

Well, I guess this gets at the point here: if "fake humanization" really is accurate, that's a problem with the company, not a problem with the term.

What value is there in “business culture?”  Does it actually enhance anything nor change the fact that work is in fact work?  Why not just stay normalized and move onto more important work place problems?  Most of these buzzword names for employees are just a facade anyways. 

Let's take this offline, and have a dialogue

[kphoger]

Here is one that came to mind just now; Sandwich Artist. 

that's just funny

I'm okay with calling the folks at Jersey Mike's or Publix Deli that title.

Unless they're allowed free reign to make the sandwiches however they want, I'm not calling them artists.

[formulanone]

Here is one that came to mind just now; Sandwich Artist. 

that's just funny

I'm okay with calling the folks at Jersey Mike's or Publix Deli that title.

Unless they're allowed free reign to make the sandwiches however they want, I'm not calling them artists.

Hard pass on the R. Mutt fountain sandwich.

[kphoger]

–  What would you like on that, sir?

–  You're the artist.  You decide what it needs.

–  Uuuhhhhhhhhh........

[kphoger]

–  No, don't put onions on it.  Onions give me gas.

–  Trust me.  I'm an artist.

[Max Rockatansky]

So could someone be a "Sandwich Sculptor?"   Can they be commissioned to build you a sandwich?

[Max Rockatansky]

The leader is the boss - that seems simple enough to me. If there's good ownership and a good business culture

If there's good ownership, they're more likely to

stay normalized and move onto more important work place problems

The problem is when you get a boss who wants to lord it over everyone else, so everyone is miserable. So to "fix" the problem they use euphemisms like "team member" and "line of support" instead of addressing the underlying issues that take actual work to solve, or at least a change of behavior from management, like favoritism or punishments that are out of proportion with the purported crimes. So it just feels extremely gross to the employees, who generally aren't as stupid as managers assume they are and can see right through it.

Which is why I refuse to take our satisfaction index every year.  They clearly don't give a damn about what anyone has to say because there is some draconian person at the top who won't retire.  But we do shit like that but call people in a government office "associates"  because it "supposedly"  makes them feel valued according to an HR person who doesn't work in field.  Basically it's just the same farce I've seen repeated during other employment and I don't pay much mind to anymore.  All I can really do for myself is treat my employees like adults and not children.

[Steve.S]

"Grab some time on my calendar."

[thspfc]

"Shoot me an email" . Emails aren't shot, they're sent.

[webny99]

What value is there in "business culture?"   Does it actually enhance anything nor change the fact that work is in fact work?  Why not just stay normalized and move onto more important work place problems?

"Culture" has itself become a buzzword of sorts, so it doesn't mean much as a talking point unless the business owner/leader/boss is actually prepared to create a good culture (and not just the appearance of one). A good overview of what culture is and why it's important can be found here.

In terms of "work being work", of course the culture of the company doesn't change that fact, but it is worth thinking about whether some of the more important issues are in fact caused by the culture, and whether handling them differently or taking a different approach could lead to better results. Of course, actions are much more important than words in this regard.

Most of these buzzword names for employees are just a facade anyways.

Back to my earlier point - if they really are a facade, that might be a problem with the company, rather than the term.

The problem is when you get a boss who wants to lord it over everyone else, so everyone is miserable. So to "fix" the problem they use euphemisms like "team member" and "line of support" instead of addressing the underlying issues that take actual work to solve, or at least a change of behavior from management, like favoritism or punishments that are out of proportion with the purported crimes. So it just feels extremely gross to the employees, who generally aren't as stupid as managers assume they are and can see right through it.

That sounds like a toxic culture to me - and that can be hard to fix. The bigger the company, the harder these issues tend to be to fix, and the less interest there tends to be in fixing them.

[citrus]

Oh my goodness, great thread, and I hear so much "business speak" that I have forgotten that certain things actually are business speak and not just generally accepted.

The ones that grate on me the most are nouns that get turned into verbs, when there are perfectly good verbs already available:
- Decisioning instead of deciding
- Actioning instead of acting
- Solutioning instead of solving (that one, at least the spellcheck thinks is wrong)

And the converse:
- "finding the solve" instead of "finding the solution"
- Asks instead of requests
and so on.

[thspfc]

Former Washington Football Team/Redskins GM Bruce Allen ruined the word "culture" for me when he said "the culture is actually d--- good" when describing a completely lost ogranization full of harassment and corruption, not to mention repetitive failure on the field.

[interstatefan990]

My least favorite is when the term "guest" is used instead of "customer". This is a professional retail environment, not a family Thanksgiving dinner.

[hbelkins]

Someone mentioned "deliverable" upthread.

Also, as others have mentioned, "guest." If I'm a guest, I shouldn't have to pay for whatever it is I'm receiving.

And I don't like the term "human resources." "Personnel" is a perfectly good word.

[webny99]

Former Washington Football Team/Redskins GM Bruce Allen ruined the word "culture" for me when he said "the culture is actually d--- good" when describing a completely lost ogranization full of harassment and corruption, not to mention repetitive failure on the field.

That's a good example of why the proof is in the actions, not the words, when it comes to culture. Yeah, right. We'll believe the culture's good when you string together some winning records, a respected coaching staff, and become a destination where players want to go. If you feel pressure to say the culture's good, there's a decent chance it probably isn't.

[OCGuy81]

I'm glad I'm working remotely for the foreseeable future, but when I used to attend a great deal of meetings and seminars, I'd cringe when we'd have...." breakout sessions" 🤢

[texaskdog]

“Shoot me an email”. Emails aren’t shot, they’re sent.

EXACTLY!!!  so dumb

[texaskdog]

My least favorite is when the term "guest" is used instead of "customer". This is a professional retail environment, not a family Thanksgiving dinner.

I don't even go to those places if I can help it: Target, Rudys, In & Out are 3 of the worst.

[Scott5114]

The leader is the boss - that seems simple enough to me. If there's good ownership and a good business culture

If there's good ownership, they're more likely to

stay normalized and move onto more important work place problems

The problem is when you get a boss who wants to lord it over everyone else, so everyone is miserable. So to "fix" the problem they use euphemisms like "team member" and "line of support" instead of addressing the underlying issues that take actual work to solve, or at least a change of behavior from management, like favoritism or punishments that are out of proportion with the purported crimes. So it just feels extremely gross to the employees, who generally aren't as stupid as managers assume they are and can see right through it.

Which is why I refuse to take our satisfaction index every year.  They clearly don't give a damn about what anyone has to say because there is some draconian person at the top who won't retire.

This would be kind of cool if they were a literal dragon person. If someone in charge is going to be draconian the least they can do is shoot fire out of their mouth at the annual shareholder meeting.

They did an anonymous satisfaction survey at my job once. One of the questions was something open-ended, like "What is something we could do to improve employee morale?" and I wrote "Fire the general manager." They didn't. They also didn't do another anonymous satisfaction survey ever again.

But we do shit like that but call people in a government office "associates"  because it "supposedly"  makes them feel valued according to an HR person who doesn't work in field.

Someone in an office making rules for people they've never met and doing a job they don't understand is the root of all evil. I'm deeply jealous of a friend of mine who managed to score a job in a 10-person office with the owner of the company right there in the building.

[GaryV]

When I worked at Chrysler HQ, it seemed like the annual "morale" survey always came out just after something bad - poor sales, losses so no bonus, layoffs, etc.

[OCGuy81]

When I worked at Chrysler HQ, it seemed like the annual "morale" survey always came out just after something bad - poor sales, losses so no bonus, layoffs, etc.

That's awful timing. Sooooo I wasn't laid off so I *guess* my morale is high??

[kphoger]

I'm deeply jealous of a friend of mine who managed to score a job in a 10-person office with the owner of the company right there in the building.

I'm pretty sure the total number of people in my building is under 20 on any given day.  And the owner is right there in the back hall, on a first name basis.  The other day, the CEO told me to stop addressing my e-mails to him as "Mr ___".  Just call me Gary.

[triplemultiplex]

"I think of this company as a family." -big boss man

No, it's not.  Don't pretend it is.  You're not my daddy or my uncle or my pee-paw; you're the head of a company that pays me money to do stuff that contributes to the company delivering a product and/or service.

Use different words to articulate yourself if you are trying to get across that to you, this enterprise is more than just a way to make money. 

[Scott5114]

The problem is that there are so few executives that genuinely care about taking care of their employees, but want to put on a show of doing so (because it boosts morale), that words like that ring hollow from everyone who's been through that song and dance before. The only way to show you're serious about it is to walk the walk.