Road signs you will never see on the road

[hotdogPi]

You can suggest more signs that will never be seen on the road.

If you want to make pictures of any sign ideas in this thread, you can do that.


Drivers from Ohio must turn left
Roundabout with SPUI ahead
Middle lane for passing only
2 hour parking except for green cars
Toll bridge: $5 for Florida drivers, free for others
Unnecessary horn use not allowed - enforced by camera
Speed limit 45: Sponsored by McDonald's
Right lane must turn left
Left turn yield on red
Hybrids may ignore red light
Drunk drivers must turn right (towards police station)

[NE2]

Middle lane for passing only

There used to be suicide passing lanes all over.

Toll bridge: $5 for Florida drivers, free for others

More like $2.40 for Quebec drivers, free for others.

[Alex4897]

Right lane must turn left

Couldn't a hook left turn theoretically use this?

[Takumi]

[jeffandnicole]

Speed Limit not Enforced

[roadman65]

Hillside being a control city on the Garden State Parkway's NB Exit 140 guide sign. It just has the Holland Tunnel for NYC.  It is signed on nearby Exit 142C, but this is the main route into that particular community.

Also US 22 Eastbound to be signed at Exit 141 for SB Garden State Parkway motorists instead of at Exit 140A.  Exit 141 is easier access to US 22 EB via Vaux Hall Road as Exit 140A is to US 22 WB only where you must use NJ 82 EB and its ramps to u turn back to US 22 EB.  Plus US 22 WB is informed to use Vaux Hall Road to access it which is the direct opposite movement.

Then in Union, NJ (nearby to the above said interchanges) a follow up NJ 82 WB shield is needed on NB Stuyvesant Avenue to WB Elmwood Avenue to follow up on signage that directs motorists to WB NJ 82 from the GSP Exit 139.

Also, in Parsippany, NJ that the township name (or at least in part as Parsippany is really Parsippany- Troy Hills) on the SB US 46 exit which still has carbon copies of the old pre I-80 signage using both Clifton and Dover as control points there.  Currently Parsippany is not signed on I-287 for any interchange like it is on I-80.  The only mention of the township is at the borders "entering" signs.

[Jardine]

Use your turnsignals
Hang up and drive
Don't drive into a tree
Don't spill your drink
If you are bothering to stop at the intersection, why not look both ways before you pull out in front of somebody?
We are serious about this: stop at red light
Attention Truckers: the 11' 8" height limit applies to EVERYBODY, you're not exempt.
If you splash your car in this lake and drown, nobody will care, sux to be you.
Mind the Lorrie
Yep, many folks hit deer along this stretch of road, but it will never happen to you

[CNGL-Leudimin]

Toll bridge: $5 for Florida drivers, free for others

Toll bridge: Free for Spanish drivers, €5 for others

(Spaniards love to avoid tolls )

[roadman65]

Do not stop on signal detector loops to pick up passengers.

I had two instances to me where I got stopped, and had to wait for the  red signal because of people standing (literally) on the signal loops.  Both cases they (and no other vehicle) did not pass through the intersection.

The first one was a car pool using the side road as his pick up spot.  The second was a horny individual who was trying to pick up a prostitute!  Both vehicles were sitting on the detectors causing the light to register traffic that was not there  to make the road I was on stop.

In essence traffic on an arterial was actually held up because one man wanted to have sex.  This one has to be the story of the year.

[dgolub]

SOUTH NJ 700 - Never going to see it.  You're just going TO I-95 when you're on the southern portion of the New Jersey Turnpike.

[roadman65]

How about shields along the Garden State Parkway even if it is not SR 444 shields.  Just the GSP shield itself used as a route number like in Florida we use a FL TPK shield as one as opposed to a FL 91 shield post interchange.

In addition how about mileage signs post interchange on the NJ Turnpike or even the 10 on 10 signs that were originally posted when the NJT opened would be nice. 

[Revive 755]

* Save time - U-turn at next median break instead of waiting for green arrow

* Caution:  This traffic signal malfunctions regularly

[ARMOURERERIC]

PA:  An APL BGS with 4 pull through lanes

[Big John]

Stop signs with a white border are optional.

[roadman65]

For protected left turns, waiting for the next arrow requires you to pay the vehicle behind you for the extra fuel that you caused him/ her to burn as well as for his time.

[jeffandnicole]

Hang up and drive

I think I've seen this on some variable message signs!

[PurdueBill]

Letterman's Top Ten List of Ignored Signs had some good ones.  "Speed Limit 20 When Driving On Sidewalk", "Please Do Not Pick Up Mayor Bloomberg"....

[signalman]

Hang up and drive

I think I've seen this on some variable message signs!

I know that I've seen that message (or something to that effect) on a VMS

[hobsini2]

I loved the idea of a "sponsored" speed limit so I did that one with a few other unlikely signs.

[sammi]

Love the McDonalds speed limit sign.

On "NO OUTLET MALL". I've always seen "NO EXIT" in Canada, but then I saw a "NO OUTLET" here (IL). Is that actually how it's done here?

On the second-rightmost one in white, how would you actually sign it if, for example, a streetcar platform was in between the two lanes?

[hobsini2]

The No Outlet sign is quite common in Illinois.
As to your other question, I guess it could be some kind of a street car that split a one way street. Let me think about that one.

[hobsini2]

Speaking of the "sponsored" signs, the Illinois Tollway Authority has been putting up new blue with red signs that say something like:
"Roadside Assitance Dial *999 (I-xx) brought to you by State Farm Insurance".

[Zeffy]

Here's a few:

[hobsini2]

Love the Newark sign.

[Mapmikey]

As to your other question, I guess it could be some kind of a street car that split a one way street. Let me think about that one.

I have seen this one in real life in construction zones and maybe in normal life.

Here is one in a yellow diamond for splitting lanes for a tunnel:
https://maps.google.com/maps?q=baltimore,+md&hl=en&ll=39.266351,-76.598911&spn=0.061135,0.132093&sll=38.300378,-77.453485&sspn=0.031119,0.066047&t=h&doflg=ptk&hnear=Baltimore,+Maryland&z=14&layer=c&cbll=39.266326,-76.598581&panoid=tKYYyy8ayVtW7fE8hV9n5g&cbp=12,110.89,,0,0

Mapmikey