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Business terms and buzzwords you hate

Started by OCGuy81, March 12, 2021, 10:12:30 AM

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kphoger

Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.


Scott5114

uncontrollable freak sardine salad chef

kphoger

/slap Scott5114

Oh, wait, that's right, not all IRC commands work on here.
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

wanderer2575

Quote from: hbelkins on March 12, 2021, 08:35:25 PM
And I don't like the term "human resources." "Personnel" is a perfectly good word.

Actually, this is one where the "euphemism" is more honest.  You're not a person about whom some care and thought should be given.  You're just a resource.

Even better is "Human Capital Management."

gr8daynegb

Quote from: wanderer2575 on March 18, 2021, 05:17:50 PM
Quote from: hbelkins on March 12, 2021, 08:35:25 PM
And I don't like the term "human resources." "Personnel" is a perfectly good word.

Actually, this is one where the "euphemism" is more honest.  You're not a person about whom some care and thought should be given.  You're just a resource.

Even better is "Human Capital Management."

System updates and business needs I'll add to list
So Lone Star now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.

OCGuy81

Quote from: gr8daynegb on March 18, 2021, 06:30:04 PM
Quote from: wanderer2575 on March 18, 2021, 05:17:50 PM
Quote from: hbelkins on March 12, 2021, 08:35:25 PM
And I don't like the term "human resources." "Personnel" is a perfectly good word.

Actually, this is one where the "euphemism" is more honest.  You're not a person about whom some care and thought should be given.  You're just a resource.

Even better is "Human Capital Management."

System updates and business needs I'll add to list

One of my friends works in HR and says "Adult Babysitting"  is an accurate description

gr8daynegb

Quote from: OCGuy81 on March 18, 2021, 06:36:34 PM
Quote from: gr8daynegb on March 18, 2021, 06:30:04 PM
Quote from: wanderer2575 on March 18, 2021, 05:17:50 PM
Quote from: hbelkins on March 12, 2021, 08:35:25 PM
And I don't like the term "human resources." "Personnel" is a perfectly good word.

Actually, this is one where the "euphemism" is more honest.  You're not a person about whom some care and thought should be given.  You're just a resource.

Even better is "Human Capital Management."

System updates and business needs I'll add to list

One of my friends works in HR and says "Adult Babysitting"  is an accurate description

The spirit of George Carlin is strong in this thread. Give us focus, makes us stronger......
So Lone Star now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.

texaskdog

When I worked for Sprint one of the clients was Audi.  1) you had to dress up when they came in  2) you had to say OOOOWWWWW DEEEEE  you couldn't say Ahhh Deeee  or they'd have a hissy fit  3) you couldn't refer to their cars as used.  I think when I got that spiel was the day I quit.

Scott5114

If you were leaving anyway, you should have "dressed up" in a 55-gallon hat and referred to them as Howdy.

You'd think they'd have a bigger problem with implying their cars went unused.
uncontrollable freak sardine salad chef

kphoger

Quote from: texaskdog on March 19, 2021, 12:39:07 AM
1) you had to dress up when they came in

Isn't it a good idea to dress up when a big client comes in anyway?

Quote from: texaskdog on March 19, 2021, 12:39:07 AM
2) you had to say OOOOWWWWW DEEEEE  you couldn't say Ahhh Deeee  or they'd have a hissy fit

Because that's how it's pronounced.  If you had a big, world-famous company, and a business partner couldn't even say your company's name right, you might get the impression they didn't value your business, right?

Quote from: texaskdog on March 19, 2021, 12:39:07 AM
3) you couldn't refer to their cars as used.

'Pre-owned' is a car business word I despise.  I do realize that the prefix prei has more than one meaning but, to me, a brand-new car is pre-owned because it hasn't yet been owned.  One that's already had an owner is no longer pre-owned.  It's used.

Quote from: texaskdog on March 19, 2021, 12:39:07 AM
I think when I got that spiel was the day I quit.

Probably for the best, if dressing up for work and learning to pronounce large customers' names correctly was too much to handle.
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

Scott5114

I mean, at the same time, if the Audi reps are seriously in danger of killing their account with a vendor because a (probably low-level) employee of the vendor mispronounces the company name, they really need to get over themselves. If I only did business with people that can pronounce Nazelrod correctly, I'd be living entirely off the grid.
uncontrollable freak sardine salad chef

kphoger

I don't know.  If I worked for Chevrolet, and I had a conference with a labor partner in Mexico, I'm sure I would expect the people meeting with me to not keep saying tsheb-ro-LETT.

This kind of reminds me of a former coworker/roommate/friend of mine.  He was originally from Puno, Perú, and his dad was a used-car dealer there.  When my friend was a kid, he wondered why everyone pronounced Dodge incorrectly.  Obviously it was spelled DOTHE-hey, yet everyone kept saying DAHJ.
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

Scott5114

Business names are kind of silly when you start thinking about them anyway. A lot of them are the original proprietors' last names, but often it's been decades or even a century since anyone with that name was involved in the management of the company. And then a lot of other ones are just something someone pulled out of thin air because it sounds vaguely inspiring or technological, like Cingular or Verizon. The branding designer will try to come up with some sort of justification for the name, but it always feels like when someone is explaining what a flag means–oh, the blue is for honor, the red signifies the blood of the troops, the purple is because we ate a bunch of grapes during the war–come on, just admit the guy that designed the flag liked the way the colors looked together.

A long time ago, when I was starting my first website, I put it at https://www.denexa.com because the AI in a word game played it as a bluff. I was pretty amused by it, and it stuck with me (probably because it's one letter off from Lenexa, Kansas). Then, when I decided to start a company, I already owned the denexa.com domain name, so I just went with that for the company name. Some people have trouble pronouncing it. A few people have asked what it "means", so I'll either tell them the real story, or if I'm feeling particularly flip and know they're not a potential customer, say "It's the feeling you get when you eBay a Verizon" or something like that.

For the cannabis grow facility I'm working on, the company name is based on the last names of two of the partners, plus one family member of one of the partners, who isn't actually involved in the business–but that makes the acronym come out H.A.M., and the grow facility is in an old hog barn, so they couldn't resist the pun.
uncontrollable freak sardine salad chef

hotdogPi

Business names seemed to be a lot more descriptive a century ago.
Quote from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dow_Jones_Industrial_Average
Dow calculated his first average purely of industrial stocks on May 26, 1896, creating what is now known as the Dow Jones Industrial Average. None of the original 12 industrials still remain part of the index.[37]

American Cotton Oil Company, a predecessor company to Hellmann's and Best Foods, now part of Unilever.[38]
American Sugar Refining Company, became Domino Sugar in 1900, now Domino Foods, Inc.[38]
American Tobacco Company, broken up in a 1911 antitrust action.
Chicago Gas Company, bought by Peoples Gas Light in 1897, was an operating subsidiary of the now-defunct Integrys Energy Group until 2014.[38]
Distilling & Cattle Feeding Company, now Millennium Chemicals, formerly a division of LyondellBasell.[39][38]
General Electric, still in operation, removed from the Dow Jones Industrial Average in 2018.[38]
Laclede Gas Company, still in operation as Spire Inc, removed from the Dow Jones Industrial Average in 1899.[38]
National Lead Company, now NL Industries, removed from the Dow Jones Industrial Average in 1916.[38]
North American Company, an electric utility holding company, broken up by the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) in 1946.[38]
Tennessee Coal, Iron and Railroad Company in Birmingham, Alabama, bought by U.S. Steel in 1907; U.S. Steel was removed from the Dow Jones Industrial Average in 1991.[38]
United States Leather Company, dissolved in 1952.[38]
United States Rubber Company, changed its name to Uniroyal in 1961, merged with private Goodrich Corporation in 1986, tire business bought by Michelin in 1990.[38] (The remainder of Goodrich remained independent several more years but was acquired by United Technologies in 2012 and became a part of UTC Aerospace Systems, now Collins Aerospace, a Raytheon Technologies subsidiary.)
Clinched, minus I-93 (I'm missing a few miles and my file is incorrect)

Traveled, plus US 13, 44, and 50, and several state routes

I will be in Burlington VT for the eclipse.

Scott5114

Of course, back then businesses confined themselves to one industry and often one geographical area. I could have gone with something like "Oklahoma Playing Card Company", but I always planned to sell online and reach people outside of Oklahoma (meaning their opinion of me could well be negatively influenced by negative opinions they have about Oklahoma), and I thought about selling other game-related things like dice, so that's why I went with "Denexa Games" instead.
uncontrollable freak sardine salad chef

interstatefan990

The name Microsoft came from a combination of the words "microcomputer" and "software". But now, when you think of the words "micro" and "soft", well, I'll let you fill in the rest.
Multi-lane roundabouts are an abomination to mankind.

oscar

Quote from: Scott5114 on March 19, 2021, 04:48:59 PM
Business names are kind of silly when you start thinking about them anyway. A lot of them are the original proprietors' last names, but often it's been decades or even a century since anyone with that name was involved in the management of the company.

Kind of like the H.E. Butt grocery chain in Texas, named for the founder's youngest son who also ran the company. Thankfully, that got abbreviated to H-E-B.

Hospital systems in my region often use made-up and rather mysterious names. The best of them is Inova, based in Fairfax, which projects both "innovative" and "in Northern Virginia".   
my Hot Springs and Highways pages, with links to my roads sites:
http://www.alaskaroads.com/home.html

texaskdog

Quote from: kphoger on March 19, 2021, 11:01:24 AM
Quote from: texaskdog on March 19, 2021, 12:39:07 AM
1) you had to dress up when they came in

Isn't it a good idea to dress up when a big client comes in anyway?

Quote from: texaskdog on March 19, 2021, 12:39:07 AM
2) you had to say OOOOWWWWW DEEEEE  you couldn't say Ahhh Deeee  or they'd have a hissy fit

Because that's how it's pronounced.  If you had a big, world-famous company, and a business partner couldn't even say your company's name right, you might get the impression they didn't value your business, right?

Quote from: texaskdog on March 19, 2021, 12:39:07 AM
3) you couldn't refer to their cars as used.

'Pre-owned' is a car business word I despise.  I do realize that the prefix prei has more than one meaning but, to me, a brand-new car is pre-owned because it hasn't yet been owned.  One that's already had an owner is no longer pre-owned.  It's used.

Quote from: texaskdog on March 19, 2021, 12:39:07 AM
I think when I got that spiel was the day I quit.

Probably for the best, if dressing up for work and learning to pronounce large customers' names correctly was too much to handle.

Dressing up was fine, it was just an added annoyance since they were already snooty people.

Ever met someone with a weird name everyone misprounounced and it was everyone else's fault they had a weird name?

texaskdog

Quote from: interstatefan990 on March 19, 2021, 05:18:34 PM
The name Microsoft came from a combination of the words "microcomputer" and "software". But now, when you think of the words "micro" and "soft", well, I'll let you fill in the rest.

3M put out computer discs in the mid 90s that were called Imation.  People didn't want to buy "imitation discs"

jmacswimmer

Stumbled across this clip on youtube that fits this thread perfectly  :-D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5dRPVyqcA0
"Now, what if da Bearss were to enter the Indianapolis 5-hunnert?"
"How would they compete?"
"Let's say they rode together in a big buss."
"Is Ditka driving?"
"Of course!"
"Then I like da Bear buss."
"DA BEARSSS BUSSSS"



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