For those of you who don’t have (or want) children

Started by golden eagle, September 19, 2019, 09:03:46 PM

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Mrt90

Quote from: Beltway on September 20, 2019, 11:56:55 PM
Quote from: Mrt90 on September 20, 2019, 01:39:47 PM
I have a friend who had his first child at the age of 46 and now at the age of 51 is the father of 3.  I don't think that he or his wife (who is 4 or 5 years younger) wanted kids and I think the first one was an "oops" but then they discovered that they liked being parents. 

She had 3 children after the age of 41?
Yes, 3 in 4 years starting at 41. 


Beltway

Quote from: Mrt90 on September 23, 2019, 10:40:55 AM
Quote from: Beltway on September 20, 2019, 11:56:55 PM
Quote from: Mrt90 on September 20, 2019, 01:39:47 PM
I have a friend who had his first child at the age of 46 and now at the age of 51 is the father of 3.  I don't think that he or his wife (who is 4 or 5 years younger) wanted kids and I think the first one was an "oops" but then they discovered that they liked being parents. 
She had 3 children after the age of 41?
Yes, 3 in 4 years starting at 41. 

Interesting, that is extremely rare to have that kind of fertility from 41 to 45 at all, let alone starting at 41.
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hbelkins

Quote from: index on September 22, 2019, 08:15:47 PM
I've never seen the term used in regard to sexuality at all, and I know whole mounds of people who consider themselves to be LGBT, but there is a small sect of folks I've interacted with called "antinatalists" who believe creating human life is unethical. They use the term a lot. They're generally not a very happy bunch. I totally can't imagine why.

I guess they miss the whole point of why human sexuality is what it is and why human anatomy is what it is. It's meant for reproduction, and feeling good is just a bonus.


Government would be tolerable if not for politicians and bureaucrats.

NE2

People who get appendectomies forget the whole reason we have an appendix.
pre-1945 Florida route log

I accept and respect your identity as long as it's not dumb shit like "identifying as a vaccinated attack helicopter".

formulanone

#54
Quote from: Beltway on September 23, 2019, 11:58:59 AM
Quote from: Mrt90 on September 23, 2019, 10:40:55 AM
Quote from: Beltway on September 20, 2019, 11:56:55 PM
Quote from: Mrt90 on September 20, 2019, 01:39:47 PM
I have a friend who had his first child at the age of 46 and now at the age of 51 is the father of 3.  I don't think that he or his wife (who is 4 or 5 years younger) wanted kids and I think the first one was an "oops" but then they discovered that they liked being parents. 
She had 3 children after the age of 41?
Yes, 3 in 4 years starting at 41. 

Interesting, that is extremely rare to have that kind of fertility from 41 to 45 at all, let alone starting at 41.

It's more common for wealthier couples who made decisions later in life. Probably more likely in bigger cities than small-town living.

Fertility treatments have become less expensive and more reliable. However, there are greater risks of pregnancy complications, miscarriages, or birth defects for expectant mothers over the age of 35. However, the magnitude of that increase seems to vary from study to study.


Beltway

Quote from: hbelkins on September 23, 2019, 01:48:33 PM
I guess they miss the whole point of why human sexuality is what it is and why human anatomy is what it is. It's meant for reproduction, and feeling good is just a bonus.
Reproduction isn't an exact formula, sometimes it takes many tries before a conception occurs.

If sex wasn't desirable on an ongoing basis, many couples wouldn't be sufficiently motivated to actually ever get pregnant.
http://www.roadstothefuture.com
http://www.capital-beltway.com

Baloney is a reserved word on the Internet
    (Robert Coté, 2002)

Beltway

Quote from: formulanone on September 23, 2019, 04:38:42 PM
Quote from: Beltway on September 23, 2019, 11:58:59 AM
Interesting, that is extremely rare to have that kind of fertility from 41 to 45 at all, let alone starting at 41.
It's more common for wealthier couples who made decisions later in life. Probably more likely in bigger cities than small-town living.
Fertility treatments have become less expensive and more reliable. However, there are greater risks of pregnancy complications, miscarriages, or birth defects for expectant mothers over the age of 35. However, the magnitude of that increase seems to vary from study to study.

No matter how much money someone has, that age span has about 1% fertility rate.
http://www.roadstothefuture.com
http://www.capital-beltway.com

Baloney is a reserved word on the Internet
    (Robert Coté, 2002)

cjk374

I have 2 kids. My son will be 21 in 3 weeks. My daughter...whom I adopted almost 3 years ago...is 13 going on 30. Night-and-day difference between raising a boy and a girl.
Runnin' roads and polishin' rails.

mgk920

Quote from: hbelkins on September 23, 2019, 01:48:33 PM
Quote from: index on September 22, 2019, 08:15:47 PM
I've never seen the term used in regard to sexuality at all, and I know whole mounds of people who consider themselves to be LGBT, but there is a small sect of folks I've interacted with called "antinatalists" who believe creating human life is unethical. They use the term a lot. They're generally not a very happy bunch. I totally can't imagine why.

I guess they miss the whole point of why human sexuality is what it is and why human anatomy is what it is. It's meant for reproduction, and feeling good is just a bonus.

Well, not really a 'bonus' - if it was not 'pleasurable' to whatever species, that species would quickly go extinct due to 'lack of interest' in reproducing.

Mike

mgk920

Quote from: Beltway on September 23, 2019, 09:14:53 PM
Quote from: formulanone on September 23, 2019, 04:38:42 PM
Quote from: Beltway on September 23, 2019, 11:58:59 AM
Interesting, that is extremely rare to have that kind of fertility from 41 to 45 at all, let alone starting at 41.
It's more common for wealthier couples who made decisions later in life. Probably more likely in bigger cities than small-town living.
Fertility treatments have become less expensive and more reliable. However, there are greater risks of pregnancy complications, miscarriages, or birth defects for expectant mothers over the age of 35. However, the magnitude of that increase seems to vary from study to study.

No matter how much money someone has, that age span has about 1% fertility rate.

And I remember reading numerous articles on that subject over the past couple of decades - mainly centering among post Baby Boomer (ie, 'Xers' and so forth) women living the self-actualized 'liberated woman' lifestyle of careers, etc, getting to the mid-upper 30s and lower 40s, beginning to sense that there is 'something missing' from their lives and learning, to their collective horrors, that the progress of medical and biological sciences technologies have not slowed down the natural 'clocks' in women one bit.

:-o

Mike

Beltway

Quote from: mgk920 on September 24, 2019, 09:37:20 PM
Quote from: Beltway on September 23, 2019, 09:14:53 PM
No matter how much money someone has, that age span has about 1% fertility rate.
And I remember reading numerous articles on that subject over the past couple of decades - mainly centering among post Baby Boomer (ie, 'Xers' and so forth) women living the self-actualized 'liberated woman' lifestyle of careers, etc, getting to the mid-upper 30s and lower 40s, beginning to sense that there is 'something missing' from their lives and learning, to their collective horrors, that the progress of medical and biological sciences technologies have not slowed down the natural 'clocks' in women one bit.

At those ages it is called "hitting the wall".  The threshold age for what gynecologists call "advanced maternal age" is still 35 years old, just like it was 30 years ago.
http://www.roadstothefuture.com
http://www.capital-beltway.com

Baloney is a reserved word on the Internet
    (Robert Coté, 2002)

ozarkman417

#61
My friends give me a hard time because my dad waited until his late 50s to have me, but that was because it was a second marriage.  :poke:

OracleUsr

My wife and I (first marriage for both) met when I was 41 and she was 46, and now I'm almost 49 and she's almost 54.  At this point, we could have kids, but I don't think it would work very well because of our age
Anti-center-tabbing, anti-sequential-numbering, anti-Clearview BGS FAN

qguy

Quote from: Rothman on September 20, 2019, 01:49:49 PM
Quote from: vdeane on September 20, 2019, 01:27:29 PM
Quote from: Max Rockatansky on September 20, 2019, 12:02:00 AM
Everyone I know who has kids looks overwhelmed and constantly stressed out.  Worse, they seem to lack mobility or really the means to do the things they want.  I look at my own life at almost 37 years and that kind of thing spooks me or makes me at least hesitant about kids.  Money really isn't thing at this point that worries me, it is lack of freedom.  I almost think that it would have been easier earlier in life but I wasn't married until recently and had zero interest in kids outside of marriage.
Same - especially since I'm on the spectrum and have issues with things like motivation/energy to do things after work, needing routine, things planned out in advance, not having changes to plans, time alone, etc.  Having kids would basically mean regularly dealing with things that I'm already not great at dealing with.  Plus my social issues would make finding a partner and raising kids hard regardless.

Quote from: Rothman on September 20, 2019, 10:18:23 AM
I think there's some bias here.  Roadgeeks seem to be a solitary bunch overall.  Being social isn't a priority and in some cases are difficult due to being on the spectrum or having other characteristics.  It would be little wonder that roadgeeks in general devalue family life and relationships to some degree.
Now that this thread is making me think about it, of the roadgeeks I've met in person, a disproportionate of the ones who are married with kids are not on this forum or don't post as often.
I've bucked the trend!

I have two kids, a son who's a sophomore in college and a daughter who's a senior in high school. But yes, I don't post in this forum as often as many do.

My wife and I married and had children later than a lot of others. I was 33 and she was 32 when we got married. I was 37 when we had our oldest.

I would never pressure anyone to have children--to each his own--but they're collectively the third best thing to ever happen in my life.

D-Dey65

Quote from: formulanone on September 22, 2019, 04:51:35 PM
Quote from: Brian556 on September 22, 2019, 01:00:33 AM
Breeders rip off non-breeders by making them pay for their kids schooling via property taxes.

If you're implying that we sell our children off like plants or animals, then that underlined word makes sense. Otherwise, keep that disgusting term to yourself.

In a nutshell: Schools keep the kids off the streets, makes them able to take on jobs, and guess what...you were a kid too, once. Pay up sucker!
FYI, I know I was a kid once, and I remember how shitty it was. I gave up any hope of dating women in my late 20's, let alone having the opportunity to impregnate them. But one of the advantages of not being lucky enough to have kids is that you don't have to subject them to suffer under the repressive injustices of our school system.

roadman65

Quote from: qguy on September 25, 2019, 06:45:24 AM
Quote from: Rothman on September 20, 2019, 01:49:49 PM
Quote from: vdeane on September 20, 2019, 01:27:29 PM
Quote from: Max Rockatansky on September 20, 2019, 12:02:00 AM
Everyone I know who has kids looks overwhelmed and constantly stressed out.  Worse, they seem to lack mobility or really the means to do the things they want.  I look at my own life at almost 37 years and that kind of thing spooks me or makes me at least hesitant about kids.  Money really isn't thing at this point that worries me, it is lack of freedom.  I almost think that it would have been easier earlier in life but I wasn't married until recently and had zero interest in kids outside of marriage.
Same - especially since I'm on the spectrum and have issues with things like motivation/energy to do things after work, needing routine, things planned out in advance, not having changes to plans, time alone, etc.  Having kids would basically mean regularly dealing with things that I'm already not great at dealing with.  Plus my social issues would make finding a partner and raising kids hard regardless.

Quote from: Rothman on September 20, 2019, 10:18:23 AM
I think there's some bias here.  Roadgeeks seem to be a solitary bunch overall.  Being social isn't a priority and in some cases are difficult due to being on the spectrum or having other characteristics.  It would be little wonder that roadgeeks in general devalue family life and relationships to some degree.
Now that this thread is making me think about it, of the roadgeeks I've met in person, a disproportionate of the ones who are married with kids are not on this forum or don't post as often.
I've bucked the trend!

I have two kids, a son who's a sophomore in college and a daughter who's a senior in high school. But yes, I don't post in this forum as often as many do.

My wife and I married and had children later than a lot of others. I was 33 and she was 32 when we got married. I was 37 when we had our oldest.

I would never pressure anyone to have children--to each his own--but they're collectively the third best thing to ever happen in my life.
Children are great as I got to see my two nieces and one nephew grow up from the babies they once were.  I believe in NFP (natural family planning) as many who have participated in it claim that made them have more kids as that method of not having sex during the fertile period (which is only three days in a woman's cycle) made them think more about what they are doing.   One man said him and his wife once believed in contraceptives and were changed when they learned about the NFP method.  They only wanted one kid and now have three with no regrets and even can't imagine their life without any of them.
Every day is a winding road, you just got to get used to it.

Sheryl Crowe

MNHighwayMan

Quote from: D-Dey65 on September 25, 2019, 08:12:02 AM
But one of the advantages of not being lucky enough to have kids is that you don't have to subject them to suffer under the repressive injustices of our school system life itself.

Fixed that for you.

US71

Quote from: roadman65 on September 25, 2019, 08:27:33 AM
Children are great as I got to see my two nieces and one nephew grow up from the babies they once were.  I believe in NFP (natural family planning) as many who have participated in it claim that made them have more kids as that method of not having sex during the fertile period (which is only three days in a woman's cycle) made them think more about what they are doing.   One man said him and his wife once believed in contraceptives and were changed when they learned about the NFP method.  They only wanted one kid and now have three with no regrets and even can't imagine their life without any of them.

I got to see my sister's son grow up to be a spoiled, entitled brat who thinks the world owes him a handout.
Like Alice I Try To Believe Three Impossible Things Before Breakfast

D-Dey65

Quote from: MNHighwayMan on September 25, 2019, 10:11:18 AM
Quote from: D-Dey65 on September 25, 2019, 08:12:02 AM
But one of the advantages of not being lucky enough to have kids is that you don't have to subject them to suffer under the repressive injustices of our school system life itself.

Fixed that for you.
Not really. As adults we have the right to fight back if somebody attacks us. Kids who face this in school are chastised for it, and lied to about "other ways of handling it."


hotdogPi

Quote from: D-Dey65 on September 25, 2019, 06:38:02 PM
Quote from: MNHighwayMan on September 25, 2019, 10:11:18 AM
Quote from: D-Dey65 on September 25, 2019, 08:12:02 AM
But one of the advantages of not being lucky enough to have kids is that you don't have to subject them to suffer under the repressive injustices of our school system life itself.

Fixed that for you.
Not really. As adults we have the right to fight back if somebody attacks us. Kids who face this in school are chastised for it, and lied to about "other ways of handling it."

Reporting to a supervisor in school is equivalent to reporting to the police in real life. (Sometimes it does nothing, but this is true in both cases.)
Clinched, minus I-93 (I'm missing a few miles and my file is incorrect)

Traveled, plus US 13, 44, and 50, and several state routes

I will be in Burlington VT for the eclipse.

US71

Quote from: D-Dey65 on September 25, 2019, 06:38:02 PM
Quote from: MNHighwayMan on September 25, 2019, 10:11:18 AM
Quote from: D-Dey65 on September 25, 2019, 08:12:02 AM
But one of the advantages of not being lucky enough to have kids is that you don't have to subject them to suffer under the repressive injustices of our school system life itself.

Fixed that for you.
Not really. As adults we have the right to fight back if somebody attacks us. Kids who face this in school are chastised for it, and lied to about "other ways of handling it."


DING-DING-DING we have a winner!
Like Alice I Try To Believe Three Impossible Things Before Breakfast

D-Dey65

Let me rephrase that:

Kids who fight back in school are chastised for it, and lied to about "other ways of handling it." The thing about "reporting it to a supervisor" is that sometimes those "supervisors" will punish the victims on trumped-up charges like "screaming too loud," "disrupting class," "acting out" or whatever other excuse they want not to punish the kids who are picking fights. And then they wonder why some kids go on school shooting sprees, and blame it on irrelevant garbage like the video games you play, the music you listen to, the TV you watch, or some other lame excuses.




US71

Quote from: D-Dey65 on September 25, 2019, 06:58:29 PM
Let me rephrase that:

Kids who fight back in school are chastised for it, and lied to about "other ways of handling it." The thing about "reporting it to a supervisor" is that sometimes those "supervisors" will punish the victims on trumped-up charges like "screaming too loud," "disrupting class," "acting out" or whatever other excuse they want not to punish the kids who are picking fights. And then they wonder why some kids go on school shooting sprees, and blame it on irrelevant garbage like the video games you play, the music you listen to, the TV you watch, or some other lame excuses.



My favorite line is the teacher who responds "what did you do to provoke the attack?"
Like Alice I Try To Believe Three Impossible Things Before Breakfast

mgk920

My parents ultimately pulled me out of the government schools after the 8th grade, enrolling me in a private school instead, due to that.  I'd fight back against the bullies, I'd get the neverending detentions while the bullies always got off scot free.  *WHAT DOES THAT TEACH???*

:angry:

:verymad:

:banghead:

Had they not done so, I likely would have had to have dropped out the local high school for my own safety by sometime in my sophomore year or early junior year at the very latest.

:no:

Mike

mgk920

And yes, there are countries, especially in Europe, where it is a major felony to fight back or 'protect yourself' against a criminal attack.

Mike



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