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On the spectrum

Started by index, September 21, 2019, 09:01:05 AM

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kphoger

Quote from: Hwy 61 Revisited on October 26, 2020, 12:07:27 PM
Sometimes I worry that I can't be trans because I'm autistic. I feel like that's how my parents, at least, would think of it.

That doesn't even make any sense to me.  Granted, I know little about autism;  is there something about it that makes that sentiment make sense?
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.


Hwy 61 Revisited

Quote from: kphoger on October 26, 2020, 12:10:13 PM
Quote from: Hwy 61 Revisited on October 26, 2020, 12:07:27 PM
Sometimes I worry that I can't be trans because I'm autistic. I feel like that's how my parents, at least, would think of it.

That doesn't even make any sense to me.  Granted, I know little about autism;  is there something about it that makes that sentiment make sense?


There seems to be a correlation between being trans and being autistic, especially among those assigned female at birth (AFAB; trans men, transmascs, and nonbinary people). Being that I'm a trans girl (AMAB), I worry that I'll be somehow invalidated.
And you may ask yourself, where does that highway go to?
--David Byrne

kphoger

Quote from: Hwy 61 Revisited on October 26, 2020, 12:32:29 PM
There seems to be a correlation between being trans and being autistic ...

Wow, the human brain sure is weird, isn't it?
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

jemacedo9

Quote from: Hwy 61 Revisited on October 26, 2020, 12:32:29 PM
...I worry that I'll be somehow invalidated.


Invalidated by what?  Or whom?

vdeane

Quote from: jemacedo9 on October 26, 2020, 01:16:08 PM
Quote from: Hwy 61 Revisited on October 26, 2020, 12:32:29 PM
...I worry that I'll be somehow invalidated.


Invalidated by what?  Or whom?
There's a theory that autism is caused by having an "extreme male brain".  Such was proposed as an explanation for why so many more boys than girls are diagnosed.  These days, however, it's considered more likely that autism tends to be less visible in girls and consequently gets underdiagnosed.
Please note: All comments here represent my own personal opinion and do not reflect the official position of NYSDOT or its affiliates.

Hwy 61 Revisited

Quote from: jemacedo9 on October 26, 2020, 01:16:08 PM
Quote from: Hwy 61 Revisited on October 26, 2020, 12:32:29 PM
...I worry that I'll be somehow invalidated.
Invalidated by what?  Or whom?
My parents, honestly. I'll just leave it at that.
And you may ask yourself, where does that highway go to?
--David Byrne

jeffandnicole

Quote from: kphoger on October 26, 2020, 10:32:25 AM
Quote from: TheHighwayMan394 on October 26, 2020, 04:24:39 AM
I've kind of soured on it because of what it's cost me in my social life. I just turned 30 and am realizing all these "young and dumb"  things I will never get to experience and that has been very difficult on my mental health.

And see, from my perspective, that doesn't seem like much of a loss.  Perhaps even a blessing.

I get where this is coming from.  I'm going thru it personally now in fact.  And I'm very sure many people don't get this way, or they feel they've done that young and dumb stuff and they're glad they're over it.  But others truly believe they miss out.  When I was young, I worked Fri & Sat nights at a bowling center.  I enjoyed the job.  Many of those I worked with I became friends with.  But they were off Friday and/or Saturday night.  I missed out on many of the activities they did. 

And it doesn't even have to be young and dumb stuff.  I never went paintball shooting, for example.  I had the opportunity to go one time as part of a group, but the person organizing the event screwed up, and I was informed on my drive there it wasn't going to happen.  I guess that event was never rescheduled.  Never been invited otherwise, and of the few people I asked if they would be interested, including someone that was heavily involved in the industry, didn't seem interested.  At my age, in my mid-40's, there aren't too many people out there whom I know that suddenly have an interest in doing it.


index

#57
Quote from: jeffandnicole on October 26, 2020, 02:24:00 PM
Quote from: kphoger on October 26, 2020, 10:32:25 AM
Quote from: TheHighwayMan394 on October 26, 2020, 04:24:39 AM
I’ve kind of soured on it because of what it’s cost me in my social life. I just turned 30 and am realizing all these “young and dumb” things I will never get to experience and that has been very difficult on my mental health.

And see, from my perspective, that doesn't seem like much of a loss.  Perhaps even a blessing.

I get where this is coming from.  I'm going thru it personally now in fact.  And I'm very sure many people don't get this way, or they feel they've done that young and dumb stuff and they're glad they're over it.  But others truly believe they miss out.  When I was young, I worked Fri & Sat nights at a bowling center.  I enjoyed the job.  Many of those I worked with I became friends with.  But they were off Friday and/or Saturday night.  I missed out on many of the activities they did. 

And it doesn't even have to be young and dumb stuff.  I never went paintball shooting, for example.  I had the opportunity to go one time as part of a group, but the person organizing the event screwed up, and I was informed on my drive there it wasn't going to happen.  I guess that event was never rescheduled.  Never been invited otherwise, and of the few people I asked if they would be interested, including someone that was heavily involved in the industry, didn't seem interested.  At my age, in my mid-40's, there aren't too many people out there whom I know that suddenly have an interest in doing it.
I was formally diagnosed last summer.

Honestly, I suffer from the same sort of thing. Not even just ”young and dumb” stuff but just experiences and memories and social ability in general. People have tended to stray away from me because I had a reputation as some weird asshole due to my behavior in elementary and early middle school, and despite outgrowing that, that was forever how I would be seen as. Coupled with already having a screwed up brain that made it very difficult to make much friends, made it difficult to act normally, and, as a result, I have none of the memories and experiences many people do by my age, I more often than not can't relate to people, and I have nothing in common with anyone nor can I hold a meaningful discussion with anyone, because only stupid obscure niche topics can get my interest. I can't even enjoy playing video games or anything. Nothing brings much satisfaction to me other than a ridiculously narrow range of things.

I hate the stigma around mentioning my disease too because it always makes people think a certain way of me or judge me. They talk to me like a child, dumb down their vocabulary, etc, etc. Very patronizing and demeaning. I think the same as everyone else, I have the same feelings and same thoughts. My mind is essentially the same as any person reading this's mind. The difference being my brain sucks at handling that input and output others do fine.

I'm good at feigning being normal and masking everything when I first meet someone but as I get to know them and I run out of normal, introductory topics, the mask slips, and I have nothing to maintain any type of relationship with anyone. From that point, they usually get sick of me and leave. I've been treated like shit and belittled my whole life and I always get talked to like I'm stupid even by teachers and such. Every attempt I've had to reach out to people to try and build relations with one another has failed because I come off as so off-putting despite years of trying. I rarely ever swear on this forum so, take that for what it's worth for the strength of my statements here. I tend not to get like this as well, I feel it's not a good look and only looks attention-seeky, but, I have nowhere else to say anything.

I am turning 18 soon and as a result of all this it's just made it a kind of sad, miserable milestone rather than something to be celebrated. "Congratulations, you wasted your entire childhood due to a stupid disability you were born with and the decisions you made as a result of its isolation and a lack of help and intervention at an early age, also giving you lifelong trauma because you were punished for behaviors you could not control as a result of having developmental delays! And you're never going to get it back! And you have no friends anymore because you're a social idiot thanks to you screwed up brain!" is all I can think of.
I love my 2010 Ford Explorer.



Counties traveled

Hwy 61 Revisited

Quote from: index on October 27, 2020, 05:23:04 PM
Quote from: jeffandnicole on October 26, 2020, 02:24:00 PM
Quote from: kphoger on October 26, 2020, 10:32:25 AM
Quote from: TheHighwayMan394 on October 26, 2020, 04:24:39 AM
I've kind of soured on it because of what it's cost me in my social life. I just turned 30 and am realizing all these "young and dumb"  things I will never get to experience and that has been very difficult on my mental health.

And see, from my perspective, that doesn't seem like much of a loss.  Perhaps even a blessing.

I get where this is coming from.  I'm going thru it personally now in fact.  And I'm very sure many people don't get this way, or they feel they've done that young and dumb stuff and they're glad they're over it.  But others truly believe they miss out.  When I was young, I worked Fri & Sat nights at a bowling center.  I enjoyed the job.  Many of those I worked with I became friends with.  But they were off Friday and/or Saturday night.  I missed out on many of the activities they did. 

And it doesn't even have to be young and dumb stuff.  I never went paintball shooting, for example.  I had the opportunity to go one time as part of a group, but the person organizing the event screwed up, and I was informed on my drive there it wasn't going to happen.  I guess that event was never rescheduled.  Never been invited otherwise, and of the few people I asked if they would be interested, including someone that was heavily involved in the industry, didn't seem interested.  At my age, in my mid-40's, there aren't too many people out there whom I know that suddenly have an interest in doing it.
I was formally diagnosed last summer.

Honestly, I suffer from the same sort of thing. Not even just " young and dumb"  stuff but just experiences and memories and social ability in general. People have tended to stray away from me because I had a reputation as some weird asshole due to my behavior in elementary and early middle school, and despite outgrowing that, that was forever how I would be seen as. Coupled with already having a screwed up brain that made it very difficult to make much friends, made it difficult to act normally, and, as a result, I have none of the memories and experiences many people do by my age, I more often than not can't relate to people, and I have nothing in common with anyone nor can I hold a meaningful discussion with anyone, because only stupid obscure niche topics can get my interest. I can't even enjoy playing video games or anything. Nothing brings much satisfaction to me other than a ridiculously narrow range of things.

I hate the stigma around mentioning my disease too because it always makes people think a certain way of me or judge me. They talk to me like a child, dumb down their vocabulary, etc, etc. Very patronizing and demeaning. I think the same as everyone else, I have the same feelings and same thoughts. My mind is essentially the same as any person reading this's mind. The difference being my brain sucks at handling that input and output others do fine.

I'm good at feigning being normal and masking everything when I first meet someone but as I get to know them and I run out of normal, introductory topics, the mask slips, and I have nothing to maintain any type of relationship with anyone. From that point, they usually get sick of me and leave. I've been treated like shit and belittled my whole life and I always get talked to like I'm stupid even by teachers and such. Every attempt I've had to reach out to people to try and build relations with one another has failed because I come off as so off-putting despite years of trying. I rarely ever swear on this forum so, take that for what it's worth for the strength of my statements here. I tend not to get like this as well, I feel it's not a good look and only looks attention-seeky, but, I have nowhere else to say anything.

I am turning 18 soon and as a result of all this it's just made it a kind of sad, miserable milestone rather than something to be celebrated. "Congratulations, you wasted your entire childhood due to a stupid disability you were born with and the decisions you made as a result of its isolation and a lack of help and intervention at an early age, also giving you lifelong trauma because you were punished for behaviors you could not control as a result of having developmental delays! And you're never going to get it back! And you have no friends anymore because you're a social idiot thanks to you screwed up brain!" is all I can think of.


I can understand that feeling wholeheartedly. I don't want to be treated like a child, and it feels somewhat condescending when my parents have to explain every single step of every single process, and get on me for not doing my chores because I only think they want me to do the one thing. Sometimes I wonder if they actually think I'm lesser because I am autistic, since I have been punished for things more severely than I assume an allistic person would.


Also, happy birthday. I hope yours goes as well as mine.
And you may ask yourself, where does that highway go to?
--David Byrne

kphoger

Quote from: index on October 27, 2020, 05:23:04 PM
I'm good at feigning being normal and masking everything when I first meet someone but as I get to know them and I run out of normal, ...

Just gotta say...  When I first read your post, I thought the highlighted words formed a complete phrase, and I got the biggest grin on my face.  "Running out of normal" just might be one phrase I continue using in the future.

Quote from: Hwy 61 Revisited on October 28, 2020, 11:07:20 AM
I don't want to be treated like a child, and it feels somewhat condescending when my parents have to explain every single step of every single process, and get on me for not doing my chores because I only think they want me to do the one thing.

Both I and my eldest son are known for taking things too literally sometimes.  I remember, one day in high school, my mom told me to fill a saucepan with water, put three eggs in it, and put it on the stove.  I did so.  A while later, she asked me why I hadn't turned the burner on.  Well, she hadn't told me to do that part, so it never occurred to me!
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

webny99

Quote from: kphoger on October 28, 2020, 12:12:52 PM
Both I and my eldest son are known for taking things too literally sometimes.  I remember, one day in high school, my mom told me to fill a saucepan with water, put three eggs in it, and put it on the stove.  I did so.  A while later, she asked me why I hadn't turned the burner on.  Well, she hadn't told me to do that part, so it never occurred to me!

LOL, I can relate to that! :-D

bluecountry

Wow, I am just glancing at this now, so many AS people here like myself, I guess we are attracted to TP?

CNGL-Leudimin

I'm also surprised at the amount of members with an autism spectrum disorder here, and I can concur with most of what has been said. Strange for someone with such a disorder, as we tend not to accept sudden changes, I decided to follow the scientific community and dropped the term "Asperger's" when they did so a couple years ago. I'm also trying to ditch February 18 as the annual awareness day of our disorder and instead observe April 2 along with "classical" autism, but obviously it's not that easy (and besides, it wouldn't have worked this year due to obvious reasons).

One complain I have about our disorder is that it seems to "disappear" when we grow up, when in reality it doesn't. Lots of research effort is put on children, but almost nothing on adults. Heck, recently I refused to answer a questionnaire simply because it was clearly written for children, and I'm not one anymore. And having overcome the difficulty to speak in public, I may go Greta Thunberg with this. Recently I appeared on regional TV speaking about this.

Even though our spectrum is not a disease, I still find myself on the rare disease networks quite well, as we share several common goals, namely research and awareness. Obviously there are others not quite fitting our needs, such as a cure, since there's no disease to cure!
Supporter of the construction of several running gags, including I-366 with a speed limit of 85 mph (137 km/h) and the Hypotenuse.

Please note that I may mention "invalid" FM channels, i.e. ending in an even number or down to 87.5. These are valid in Europe.

vdeane

That is so true.  There's this perception it seems that AS just disappears when one turns 18.  That couldn't be further from the truth.

Quote from: bluecountry on October 29, 2020, 04:24:00 PM
Wow, I am just glancing at this now, so many AS people here like myself, I guess we are attracted to TP?
Are you saying the Charmin bears have AS?
Please note: All comments here represent my own personal opinion and do not reflect the official position of NYSDOT or its affiliates.

Hwy 61 Revisited

Quote from: bluecountry on October 29, 2020, 04:24:00 PM
Wow, I am just glancing at this now, so many AS people here like myself, I guess we are attracted to TP?


:confused:
And you may ask yourself, where does that highway go to?
--David Byrne

index

#65
Quote from: CNGL-Leudimin on October 29, 2020, 05:29:26 PM
I'm also surprised at the amount of members with an autism spectrum disorder here, and I can concur with most of what has been said. Strange for someone with such a disorder, as we tend not to accept sudden changes, I decided to follow the scientific community and dropped the term "Asperger's" when they did so a couple years ago. I'm also trying to ditch February 18 as the annual awareness day of our disorder and instead observe April 2 along with "classical" autism, but obviously it's not that easy (and besides, it wouldn't have worked this year due to obvious reasons).

One complain I have about our disorder is that it seems to "disappear" when we grow up, when in reality it doesn't. Lots of research effort is put on children, but almost nothing on adults. Heck, recently I refused to answer a questionnaire simply because it was clearly written for children, and I'm not one anymore. And having overcome the difficulty to speak in public, I may go Greta Thunberg with this. Recently I appeared on regional TV speaking about this.

Even though our spectrum is not a disease, I still find myself on the rare disease networks quite well, as we share several common goals, namely research and awareness. Obviously there are others not quite fitting our needs, such as a cure, since there's no disease to cure!
I relate with this a lot. I have had to do forms and evaluation sheets and stuff and send them to others around me that are clearly meant for small children...very embarrassing. Even the medical professionals making this stuff seem to not consider that adults can have these sort of things too. Either that or they think we're all stupid. Hardly any attention is paid to adults with stuff like this and I'd bet you that's why the unemployment rate for my demographic (86%) is so high, and when people with these difficulties do get employment, it's menial, poorly-paying, demeaning work. And unemployment is just those actively looking for work who can't find it. If you factor in the amount of people who have simply given up, or are unable to look for work, that number is probably much higher. Also why mental illness among the homeless is so high, and homelessness is so high among those with mental conditions - a lack of awareness.
I love my 2010 Ford Explorer.



Counties traveled

kphoger

Quote from: vdeane on October 29, 2020, 09:01:36 PM

Quote from: bluecountry on October 29, 2020, 04:24:00 PM
Wow, I am just glancing at this now, so many AS people here like myself, I guess we are attracted to TP?

Are you saying the Charmin bears have AS?

I assumed "AS" was a synonym for "bottom", and we was saying that people's bottoms are attracted to Charmin.
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

Scott5114

Quote from: index on October 27, 2020, 05:23:04 PM
... People have tended to stray away from me because I had a reputation as some weird asshole due to my behavior in elementary and early middle school, and despite outgrowing that, that was forever how I would be seen as. ... I have nothing in common with anyone nor can I hold a meaningful discussion with anyone, because only stupid obscure niche topics can get my interest.

As far as I am aware, I'm not on the spectrum, but growing up in a small town and having similar experiences, I think this has more to do with the nature of socialization in high school than it does anything else. I was a labeled a nerd who was annoying and undesirable to hang out with. I couldn't make friends easily because that reputation reached people before they had a chance to get to know me.

Once I started working, and thus had the opportunity to regularly socialize with someone that isn't a high schooler or a family member, I found myself being respected for the very reasons I was abhorred by the high schoolers. I wasn't a "nerd", I was now "knowledgeable". Rather than shunning me for being annoying, my insights on how to improve the workplace were sought after. And of course there wasn't a history of stuff I did in fifth or sixth grade hanging over my head, because none of them knew me then.

I'm not saying that you won't have things harder being on the spectrum, but I think there's a decent chance that in about five years you will be experiencing a wholly different world than you outline in this post.
uncontrollable freak sardine salad chef

adventurernumber1

Quote from: index on October 27, 2020, 05:23:04 PM
Quote from: jeffandnicole on October 26, 2020, 02:24:00 PM
Quote from: kphoger on October 26, 2020, 10:32:25 AM
Quote from: TheHighwayMan394 on October 26, 2020, 04:24:39 AM
I've kind of soured on it because of what it's cost me in my social life. I just turned 30 and am realizing all these "young and dumb"  things I will never get to experience and that has been very difficult on my mental health.

And see, from my perspective, that doesn't seem like much of a loss.  Perhaps even a blessing.

I get where this is coming from.  I'm going thru it personally now in fact.  And I'm very sure many people don't get this way, or they feel they've done that young and dumb stuff and they're glad they're over it.  But others truly believe they miss out.  When I was young, I worked Fri & Sat nights at a bowling center.  I enjoyed the job.  Many of those I worked with I became friends with.  But they were off Friday and/or Saturday night.  I missed out on many of the activities they did. 

And it doesn't even have to be young and dumb stuff.  I never went paintball shooting, for example.  I had the opportunity to go one time as part of a group, but the person organizing the event screwed up, and I was informed on my drive there it wasn't going to happen.  I guess that event was never rescheduled.  Never been invited otherwise, and of the few people I asked if they would be interested, including someone that was heavily involved in the industry, didn't seem interested.  At my age, in my mid-40's, there aren't too many people out there whom I know that suddenly have an interest in doing it.
I was formally diagnosed last summer.

Honestly, I suffer from the same sort of thing. Not even just " young and dumb"  stuff but just experiences and memories and social ability in general. People have tended to stray away from me because I had a reputation as some weird asshole due to my behavior in elementary and early middle school, and despite outgrowing that, that was forever how I would be seen as. Coupled with already having a screwed up brain that made it very difficult to make much friends, made it difficult to act normally, and, as a result, I have none of the memories and experiences many people do by my age, I more often than not can't relate to people, and I have nothing in common with anyone nor can I hold a meaningful discussion with anyone, because only stupid obscure niche topics can get my interest. I can't even enjoy playing video games or anything. Nothing brings much satisfaction to me other than a ridiculously narrow range of things.

I hate the stigma around mentioning my disease too because it always makes people think a certain way of me or judge me. They talk to me like a child, dumb down their vocabulary, etc, etc. Very patronizing and demeaning. I think the same as everyone else, I have the same feelings and same thoughts. My mind is essentially the same as any person reading this's mind. The difference being my brain sucks at handling that input and output others do fine.

I'm good at feigning being normal and masking everything when I first meet someone but as I get to know them and I run out of normal, introductory topics, the mask slips, and I have nothing to maintain any type of relationship with anyone. From that point, they usually get sick of me and leave. I've been treated like shit and belittled my whole life and I always get talked to like I'm stupid even by teachers and such. Every attempt I've had to reach out to people to try and build relations with one another has failed because I come off as so off-putting despite years of trying. I rarely ever swear on this forum so, take that for what it's worth for the strength of my statements here. I tend not to get like this as well, I feel it's not a good look and only looks attention-seeky, but, I have nowhere else to say anything.

I am turning 18 soon and as a result of all this it's just made it a kind of sad, miserable milestone rather than something to be celebrated. "Congratulations, you wasted your entire childhood due to a stupid disability you were born with and the decisions you made as a result of its isolation and a lack of help and intervention at an early age, also giving you lifelong trauma because you were punished for behaviors you could not control as a result of having developmental delays! And you're never going to get it back! And you have no friends anymore because you're a social idiot thanks to you screwed up brain!" is all I can think of.


I have done a lot of stupid things in my years of school in this town (especially elementary and middle school, but also high school and even a couple of goofs in college), so my reputation is likely permanently stained to some degree even though I have transformed and improved greatly (hell, I've even made a fool of myself online and done my fair share of stupid things on the internet). Some people held resentments, but even those who didn't may not find it easy to forget those stupid things I had done in the past. As echoed upthread, that's the beauty of having a fresh start in a new town or a new workplace where your peers were not in school with you when you were younger and are not aware of whatever mistakes you had made back then.

Sometimes I can briefly pass off as normal when I meet someone for the first time, but with enough social interaction it doesn't take long to reveal that I have some difficulties in socializing. And I've had innumerable awkward moments in socializing due to my shortcomings, and I can only hope that the people I'm interacting with might understand that I simply struggle in that area and don't think that I am a bad person or that I had any bad intent.

I will be turning 21 years old in a short couple of weeks. I am taking life extremely slow. I will likely remain in college for the next several years, I don't have a job, and it will likely be an immensely long time before I get to the stage of life where I get married and possibly have kids. I've probably missed out on some of things that a lot of people are doing around this age, and I may never have the experiences. I've had to reflect on that possibility. There is of course the double-edged sword, as people mention, where on the one side a lot of people make mistakes at this age that they regret and wish they didn't do, but the other side is the missed opportunities to have partaken in more favorable endeavors–the feeling of regret for what one was not able to do. I've joked that for my 21st birthday I'll get a magnadoodle and a glass of wine. This perfectly encapsulates where I am in life–getting on as usual in some ways, but lagging behind in others. And above all I am taking life super slow, which may indeed deprive me of a typical experience that a person might have at this age. And as absolutely crazy as it may sound, I do not kid when I mention the magnadoodle. I actually still use those things, if for no reason other than to have the ability to constantly draw road-related things in a quick fashion without wasting any paper (and even then, I still draw tons on paper and in notebooks, which is why the magnadoodle is important so I don't waste any more than I already do  :D ). This month I actually did buy a new magnadoodle, as my old one (from 2008) is simply no longer functional due to the old age and heavy use across years.


Quote from: kphoger on October 28, 2020, 12:12:52 PM
Quote from: Hwy 61 Revisited on October 28, 2020, 11:07:20 AM
I don't want to be treated like a child, and it feels somewhat condescending when my parents have to explain every single step of every single process, and get on me for not doing my chores because I only think they want me to do the one thing.

Both I and my eldest son are known for taking things too literally sometimes.  I remember, one day in high school, my mom told me to fill a saucepan with water, put three eggs in it, and put it on the stove.  I did so.  A while later, she asked me why I hadn't turned the burner on.  Well, she hadn't told me to do that part, so it never occurred to me!

I also take things way too literally. In addition, I can often be extremely gullible. Sometimes I have somehow genuinely believed something (temporarily) when someone was joking around, which the average person would immediately know was concocted.






I also agree that the notion that autism magically disappears when one reaches adulthood is false, problematic, and unfortunately very prevalent. In my life this has most manifested itself when some people at my high school tried to take away my IEP. The same thing happened to my friend who is also autistic. We were all flabbergasted at why they were suddenly trying to take away our IEPs. Autism is from birth to death. Nothing causes it, and nothing makes it go away. And it doesn't spontaneously go away when you "grow up."  I will continue to need accommodations in my present and future endeavors in school, work, and whatever else. There was never a need to try to take it away. The reasoning was so that I would be "prepared for work in the real world."  Well even then, I still need accomodations, and I don't want to be part of a workplace anyhow that doesn't understand that. The irony is that my autism is actually worse right now than it was when I was, say, 13 or 14 years old (the reason being because my subsequent mental illnesses have made some parts worse).






I was not aware that terms such as "high-functioning"  and "Asperger's"  had become more antiquated, as I have been using them up to the present. Now that I know this information after reading this thread, I will try to remember to stop using these terms.
Now alternating between different highway shields for my avatar - my previous highway shield avatar for the last few years was US 76.

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kphoger

Quote from: Scott5114 on October 30, 2020, 08:21:03 PM

Quote from: index on October 27, 2020, 05:23:04 PM
... People have tended to stray away from me because I had a reputation as some weird asshole due to my behavior in elementary and early middle school, and despite outgrowing that, that was forever how I would be seen as. ... I have nothing in common with anyone nor can I hold a meaningful discussion with anyone, because only stupid obscure niche topics can get my interest.

As far as I am aware, I'm not on the spectrum, but growing up in a small town and having similar experiences, I think this has more to do with the nature of socialization in high school than it does anything else. I was a labeled a nerd who was annoying and undesirable to hang out with. I couldn't make friends easily because that reputation reached people before they had a chance to get to know me.

Once I started working, and thus had the opportunity to regularly socialize with someone that isn't a high schooler or a family member, I found myself being respected for the very reasons I was abhorred by the high schoolers. I wasn't a "nerd", I was now "knowledgeable". Rather than shunning me for being annoying, my insights on how to improve the workplace were sought after. And of course there wasn't a history of stuff I did in fifth or sixth grade hanging over my head, because none of them knew me then.

I'm not saying that you won't have things harder being on the spectrum, but I think there's a decent chance that in about five years you will be experiencing a wholly different world than you outline in this post.

For me, going off to university was a life changer.  Now, it wasn't the whole "college experience".  No, I immediately proceeded to get my new girlfriend pregnant, stopped going to class, flunked out, got an entry-level job pushing shopping carts at Target, and took classes at community college in the evenings.  But what was a game changer is that I was suddenly surrounded by a thousand people who didn't know me yet.  I could completely reinvent myself, start over fresh.  What I used to be embarrassed about because everyone growing up had teased me about it–I could either discard that part of myself or embrace it as "me".  I found a new confidence in myself as a person from simply getting away from home and starting over.
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

kphoger

Quote from: adventurernumber1 on October 31, 2020, 02:48:05 PM
it will likely be an immensely long time before I get to the stage of life where I get married and possibly have kids.

Don't sell yourself short.  All it takes is one person to love you for who you are, and whom you can love likewise.  Every married couple is unique, so don't count yourself out just because there are things about you that aren't "normal".  You may find that your best qualities are a lot more important to someone than your quirks or flaws or struggles or whatever.
Keep right except to pass.  Yes.  You.
Visit scenic Orleans County, NY!
Male pronouns, please.

Quote from: Philip K. DickIf you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.

index

Quote from: kphoger on October 31, 2020, 02:52:38 PM
Quote from: Scott5114 on October 30, 2020, 08:21:03 PM

Quote from: index on October 27, 2020, 05:23:04 PM
... People have tended to stray away from me because I had a reputation as some weird asshole due to my behavior in elementary and early middle school, and despite outgrowing that, that was forever how I would be seen as. ... I have nothing in common with anyone nor can I hold a meaningful discussion with anyone, because only stupid obscure niche topics can get my interest.

As far as I am aware, I'm not on the spectrum, but growing up in a small town and having similar experiences, I think this has more to do with the nature of socialization in high school than it does anything else. I was a labeled a nerd who was annoying and undesirable to hang out with. I couldn't make friends easily because that reputation reached people before they had a chance to get to know me.

Once I started working, and thus had the opportunity to regularly socialize with someone that isn't a high schooler or a family member, I found myself being respected for the very reasons I was abhorred by the high schoolers. I wasn't a "nerd", I was now "knowledgeable". Rather than shunning me for being annoying, my insights on how to improve the workplace were sought after. And of course there wasn't a history of stuff I did in fifth or sixth grade hanging over my head, because none of them knew me then.

I'm not saying that you won't have things harder being on the spectrum, but I think there's a decent chance that in about five years you will be experiencing a wholly different world than you outline in this post.

For me, going off to university was a life changer.  Now, it wasn't the whole "college experience".  No, I immediately proceeded to get my new girlfriend pregnant, stopped going to class, flunked out, got an entry-level job pushing shopping carts at Target, and took classes at community college in the evenings.  But what was a game changer is that I was suddenly surrounded by a thousand people who didn't know me yet.  I could completely reinvent myself, start over fresh.  What I used to be embarrassed about because everyone growing up had teased me about it—I could either discard that part of myself or embrace it as "me".  I found a new confidence in myself as a person from simply getting away from home and starting over.
I'd like to be able to just go and reinvent myself and starting to suck less at meeting people/relating to them. When I say the stuff I did stuck, I really do mean that it stuck. No matter what. Pretty much everything from having suicidal ideation and violent behavior when I was 7 years old (and up till the very end of 5th grade too) and trying to write picture books about how that was a good thing to all the acting out I did in middle school as a stupid attempt to try to distance myself "from the normal", as a really, really stupid attempt to distance myself from my already horrible past. Somehow, at least some people still remember all of it, and words spread.

Don't know how long it's going to be before I can even try to do that and just have a clean start. Even my own family members have their own stupid perspective of me that involves being a person that I'm not. I'd really like to just shove myself out into it all and do my own thing as sort of a rebuke to all the past years of my life but I know that's probably not practical especially at this point in time. And my parents with their indecisive and vague approach to whether they may be moving or not absolutely does not help me with trying to plan for the future during a time when I absolutely need to be doing that regardless of what my approach is.
I love my 2010 Ford Explorer.



Counties traveled

Hwy 61 Revisited

Do you guys ever feel that you have been on the receiving end of ableism by people you know due to your autism?
I have had major COVID anxiety when I go out, touching things as if they are biohazards, like pinching things by the corner if they are at least partially flat. I do this because I feel like whatever I touch in these environments is a potential contaminant; a similar sensation can be when you get out of the pool and still feel the waves on you. My parents don't want me acting that way because they don't want me to make them or others more anxious (translation: it embarrasses them).
And you may ask yourself, where does that highway go to?
--David Byrne

index

Quote from: Hwy 61 Revisited on November 08, 2020, 07:04:19 PM
Do you guys ever feel that you have been on the receiving end of ableism by people you know due to your autism?
I have had major COVID anxiety when I go out, touching things as if they are biohazards, like pinching things by the corner if they are at least partially flat. I do this because I feel like whatever I touch in these environments is a potential contaminant; a similar sensation can be when you get out of the pool and still feel the waves on you. My parents don't want me acting that way because they don't want me to make them or others more anxious (translation: it embarrasses them).
I'm really, really, really ashamed of it, as such I don't ever tell anyone that I have it so I can't really say I relate. Maybe I can? The a-hole teachers who talk to me like I'm a child would definitely be worse on that front if they knew I had any sort of condition.

I also don't really have those sorts of "picky" for lack of a better term, behaviors, I know that sounds kind of pejorative but I wasn't really sure of anything better to use. Loud noises don't bug me, I'm not that touchy with things, but I hate wearing short-sleeved anything or shorts. I feel the holes of the sleeves/pantlegs of those things right up against my skin ALL the time and it feels like needles or some shit. Super unpleasant. So I just brave the souplike air we have here because the alternative is worse.
I love my 2010 Ford Explorer.



Counties traveled

Roadgeekteen

#74
I have aspergers. I have trouble with social skills sometimes although I can fake normal most of the time.
God-emperor of Alanland, king of all the goats and goat-like creatures

Current Interstate map I am making:

https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/0/edit?hl=en&mid=1PEDVyNb1skhnkPkgXi8JMaaudM2zI-Y&ll=29.05778059819179%2C-82.48856825&z=5



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