This is an absurdly random topic but I'm thinking of heading to the Charlotte area to visit family this weekend. Outside of the aforementioned family, I don't know anyone in the city so I want to hit up the local bar scene. When I go out, I usually have a couple of friends with me so I am new to the idea of going solo.
Any tips and tricks to avoid being seen as a creeper loner? Is it possible that people may see it as a bit weird that I'm out alone?
Also, any Charlotteans with bar tips?
What I do if I go alone in a strange city is a few things:
1) Go early
2) Make sure there's a sporting event on
It's not awkward at all to go to a bar, sit down at a stool, watch the game, kick back a few brews, and talk to the folks around you. If you're there and you're having a good time, you can stay later when it starts to get fun. If you're not feeling the vibe, switch bars.
If I walk into an unfamiliar bar alone when it's busy and I cant relax and get comfortable with my surroundings first, I almost always end up leaving in 15 minutes or so because I feel like a weirdo, so for me the key is to get there early when other solo drinkers are there, and sometimes those folks want to talk.
That being said, people really aren't anywhere near as observant as you think they are, nor do they particularly care about what you're doing. The better you are at convincing yourself of this (may you be better than me at it), the easier it is to go to a restaurant or bar alone. Personally, I wake up every morning giving just a little bit less of a shit about what people think than I did the day before, so eventually I won't care at all.
I'm on the road quite often so I'm constantly going to bars alone. It's no biggie. Granted, most of the time it's the lame-ass bar at the chain restaurant across the parking lot from the hotel where I'm staying, but there's enough commonality among bars. Sports are universal. I often get into long conversations with random people at bars because we all reacted to something sports-related on the TV. The best conversations are with fans of teams that are rivals to my favorite teams.
Historically, when I went drinking, there were exactly three types of bars I ever felt comfortable enough to drink alone in:
1. Sports bars, because they always have some game on and you can always watch it with the other people in the bar, even if it's someplace like Buffalo Wild Wings.
2. Strip clubs, because no matter how weird you feel there, someone else is even weirder, plus you get to see free T&A.
3. Bars I can walk to from wherever I happen to be staying at.
Also, are people from Charlotte really Charlotteans? There seems to be a bad joke there.
Quote from: corco on July 25, 2014, 01:04:03 AM
That being said, people really aren't anywhere near as observant as you think they are, nor do they particularly care about what you're doing.
Bingo.
Unless you really make yourself out to be an ass, everyone just blends in at a bar. If you're there solely to have a few drinks, enjoy the music, watch TV, etc, no one is going to even notice. Many people go to bars alone. And this includes both men and women, as a bar is a popular spot for people to unwind after a work day.
At the very most, maybe some chick is in there with her friends, checks you out, and notices you are alone.
I go to bars all the time by myself. both those with an expected amount of out-of-towners (hotel bar, etc) as well as dives that are clearly frequented by regulars. both give opportunities for conversation.
easiest way to not be a creeper at the local dives? embrace your out-of-towner status. unless you accidentally walk into a Hells Angels bar or something (hint: if a bar has good reviews on Yelp, it's probably not implicitly exclusive), people will be interested in swapping stories.
I was thinking of going to the Epicenter downtown, it's next to a few hotels so it's likely to have a lot of transients. I figure that a bar in any city downtown would have a fair amount of people so it'd be easier to just blend in.
Quote from: DandyDan on July 25, 2014, 09:00:25 AM
....
Also, are people from Charlotte really Charlotteans? There seems to be a bad joke there.
They make the word four syllables, pronounce the "e," and accentuate the second syllable when they add the "-ans" suffix. It essentially sounds like "shar-LOT-ee-uns."
As far as bars go, sports bars, or pubs where they have sports on the TV (like a neighborhood Irish pub) are always good places to go by yourself. There'll always be someone ready to talk about the game or the players or some such. I was once sitting by myself at the counter (not a bar) at Ben's Chili Bowl on U Street in Washington, DC, watching a Redskin game on the TV, when someone sat down next to me and asked what the score was (at the time, NBC did not use a score/time graphic during gameplay). I turned to answer and realized the person who'd asked the question was the then-mayor of DC, Marion Barry.
Quote from: The Nature Boy on July 25, 2014, 09:22:31 AM
I was thinking of going to the Epicenter downtown, it's next to a few hotels so it's likely to have a lot of transients. I figure that a bar in any city downtown would have a fair amount of people so it'd be easier to just blend in.
Lots of good bars downtown and nearby, and it went to many of them while I was there for a week. And yes, mostly I went alone. I'd steer clear of Epicenter, actually; it's not where the best ones are located and can get downright intolerable on the weekends.
Quote from: empirestate on July 25, 2014, 10:10:27 AM
Quote from: The Nature Boy on July 25, 2014, 09:22:31 AM
I was thinking of going to the Epicenter downtown, it's next to a few hotels so it's likely to have a lot of transients. I figure that a bar in any city downtown would have a fair amount of people so it'd be easier to just blend in.
Lots of good bars downtown and nearby, and it went to many of them while I was there for a week. And yes, mostly I went alone. I'd steer clear of Epicenter, actually; it's not where the best ones are located and can get downright intolerable on the weekends.
Any particular recommendations? When I was last downtown, I saw some bars that looked a bit sketchy. The Epicenter seemed like at least the safest place to be.
Quote from: The Nature Boy on July 24, 2014, 11:16:17 PM
This is an absurdly random topic but I'm thinking of heading to the Charlotte area to visit family this weekend. Outside of the aforementioned family, I don't know anyone in the city so I want to hit up the local bar scene. When I go out, I usually have a couple of friends with me so I am new to the idea of going solo.
Any tips and tricks to avoid being seen as a creeper loner? Is it possible that people may see it as a bit weird that I'm out alone?
I guess a lot of it depends on what you're wanting to do. Are you wanting to soak up the local flavor? Get drunk? Get lucky? Not being a bar-goer (I never did like the bar scene, even as a single guy years ago who went once or twice a year with friends) I have no advice to give.
Quote from: corco on July 25, 2014, 01:04:03 AMPersonally, I wake up every morning giving just a little bit less of a shit about what people think than I did the day before, so eventually I won't care at all.
This needs a "like" button. :thumbsup:
No real goal other than just meeting people. Getting lucky would be nice, but it's not in the top tier of goals that I would have when going out.
Quote from: hbelkins on July 25, 2014, 11:39:36 AM
Quote from: The Nature Boy on July 24, 2014, 11:16:17 PM
This is an absurdly random topic but I'm thinking of heading to the Charlotte area to visit family this weekend. Outside of the aforementioned family, I don't know anyone in the city so I want to hit up the local bar scene. When I go out, I usually have a couple of friends with me so I am new to the idea of going solo.
Any tips and tricks to avoid being seen as a creeper loner? Is it possible that people may see it as a bit weird that I'm out alone?
I guess a lot of it depends on what you're wanting to do. Are you wanting to soak up the local flavor? Get drunk? Get lucky?
Are we only allowed to pick one? Or can we select all that apply? :-)
Maybe while you're there you can check out the Blue Oyster Bar, as shown in this compilation from a police documentary series from the 80s:
Quote from: 1995hoo on July 25, 2014, 10:00:50 AMI turned to answer and realized the person who'd asked the question was the then-mayor of DC, Marion Barry.
Newly learned benefit: Going alone to a bar can get you hooked up with some sweet crack.
Quote from: Roadrunner75 on July 25, 2014, 12:53:19 PM
Maybe while you're there you can check out the Blue Oyster Bar, as shown in this compilation from a police documentary series the Police Academy movies from the 80s:
FTFY.
Quote from: PHLBOS on July 25, 2014, 04:58:22 PM
Quote from: Roadrunner75 on July 25, 2014, 12:53:19 PM
Maybe while you're there you can check out the Blue Oyster Bar, as shown in this compilation from a police documentary series the Police Academy movies from the 80s:
FTFY.
What!? You mean Police Academy isn't real? I thought it was a 'reality' show like Cops.
Quote from: Alps on July 25, 2014, 03:53:17 PM
Quote from: 1995hoo on July 25, 2014, 10:00:50 AMI turned to answer and realized the person who'd asked the question was the then-mayor of DC, Marion Barry.
Newly learned benefit: Going alone to a bar can get you hooked up with some sweet crack.
But I'm going to Charlotte, not Toronto!
Quote from: The Nature Boy on July 25, 2014, 06:16:37 PM
Quote from: Alps on July 25, 2014, 03:53:17 PM
Quote from: 1995hoo on July 25, 2014, 10:00:50 AMI turned to answer and realized the person who'd asked the question was the then-mayor of DC, Marion Barry.
Newly learned benefit: Going alone to a bar can get you hooked up with some sweet crack.
But I'm going to Charlotte, not Toronto!
Sure you are, and are you sure a lot of good bars are in Charlotte?
(Say that 10 times fast - Sure, sure, sure-LOTT).
We had a decent time at Dixie's Tavern in Charlotte when we were there for some football trips, but then we were with a huge group of UVA fans who basically took over the place.
I never liked going to club-like bars by myself, but I end up going to restaurant bars and hotel bars by myself a lot. Bars with TVs are always a plus, and I don't like particularly loud places.
Quote from: Alps on July 25, 2014, 03:53:17 PM
Quote from: 1995hoo on July 25, 2014, 10:00:50 AMI turned to answer and realized the person who'd asked the question was the then-mayor of DC, Marion Barry.
Newly learned benefit: Going alone to a bar can get you hooked up with some sweet crack.
"The bitch done set me up!"
Too bad Patrick Zilliacus is out of commission right now; I'm sure he'd have a story or two to tell about the esteemed mayor.
Quote from: hbelkins on July 25, 2014, 10:20:51 PM
Quote from: Alps on July 25, 2014, 03:53:17 PM
Quote from: 1995hoo on July 25, 2014, 10:00:50 AMI turned to answer and realized the person who'd asked the question was the then-mayor of DC, Marion Barry.
Newly learned benefit: Going alone to a bar can get you hooked up with some sweet crack.
"The bitch done set me up!"
Too bad Patrick Zilliacus is out of commission right now; I'm sure he'd have a story or two to tell about the esteemed mayor.
I have a bit of a preference for Coleman Young instead.
"Aloha motherfuckers!"
Quote from: Roadrunner75 on July 25, 2014, 12:53:19 PM
Maybe while you're there you can check out the Blue Oyster Bar, as shown in this compilation from a police documentary series from the 80s:
Hahahaha
But yeah, I'll pile on with the sports bar guys. My wife frequently works out of town, I'll hit up a random spot and hang out at the bar. There's always someone who wants to bitch about video review ruining baseball or some other crap. Or just enjoy the beer and the game.
I went to a local dive bar last night (in my small town in NC). I ended up talking to a local who just wanted to point out all the girls in the bar that he slept with.
It was an..........interesting experience.
Quote from: Brandon on July 25, 2014, 07:14:44 PM
Quote from: The Nature Boy on July 25, 2014, 06:16:37 PM
Quote from: Alps on July 25, 2014, 03:53:17 PM
Quote from: 1995hoo on July 25, 2014, 10:00:50 AMI turned to answer and realized the person who'd asked the question was the then-mayor of DC, Marion Barry.
Newly learned benefit: Going alone to a bar can get you hooked up with some sweet crack.
But I'm going to Charlotte, not Toronto!
Sure you are, and are you sure a lot of good bars are in Charlotte?
(Say that 10 times fast - Sure, sure, sure-LOTT).
I pronounce it "syore" so there's no issue.
Quote from: The Nature Boy on July 26, 2014, 12:34:25 PM
I went to a local dive bar last night (in my small town in NC). I ended up talking to a local who just wanted to point out all the girls in the bar that he slept with.
It was an..........interesting experience.
The most likely result of talking to another single person at a bar is weird stories. I met a former football player who was almost on the Giants.
Going to a bar alone and keeping occupied just requires a smartphone. Kids today have no idea how easy they have it.
That said, if you're looking for human contact of any sort, it mostly requires you to be outgoing. You have to be comfortable initiating and maintaining conversation with strangers in a non-creepy way. Sometimes the bartender is the first piece in this puzzle, but other times you might just politely butt into some strangers' conversation (this is a bar, after all, not a doctor's office). "I'm sorry, did you just say you met Marion Barry at a bar? Holy crap!" or something of the like.
Pick the right bar. Sports bars per se may or may not be a good place to go, but I think of "sports bar" as being enormous with too many TVs and bad overdoses of indoor neon. Read through reviews on sites like Yelp (GPS is your friend, and "nearby bars" one of the first choices on their app) and find places noted for being friendly and easygoing. I head for a local hole-in-the-wall when in your position, and just start saying to the bartender, "What's there to do around here?" People love to chime in when there's a chance to impress their opinions on you.
And sit at or near the corner of a bar when possible. Facilitates line-of-sight conversation.
Really, though, it all just comes down to being comfortable in your skin and putting yourself out there.