"When the cat's away, the mice do play"
For some reason this makes me smile every time I think of it. It seems very applicable to real-world situations.
I like the expression "Tough toilets", which means the same as "Tough luck."
"I missed the part where that's my problem."
Quote from: bandit957 on March 08, 2022, 08:05:30 PM
I like the expression "Tough toilets", which means the same as "Tough luck."
I find myself saying "tough shit" sometimes, which is odd because French is my main language, not English.
Quote from: LilianaUwU on March 08, 2022, 08:34:08 PM
Quote from: bandit957 on March 08, 2022, 08:05:30 PM
I like the expression "Tough toilets", which means the same as "Tough luck."
I find myself saying "tough shit" sometimes, which is odd because French is my main language, not English.
And the English speaker would say "Pardon my French" after saying it.
Quote from: Big John on March 08, 2022, 08:36:37 PM
Quote from: LilianaUwU on March 08, 2022, 08:34:08 PM
Quote from: bandit957 on March 08, 2022, 08:05:30 PM
I like the expression "Tough toilets", which means the same as "Tough luck."
I find myself saying "tough shit" sometimes, which is odd because French is my main language, not English.
And the English speaker would say "Pardon my French" after saying it.
I should start saying "pardonnez-moi pour mon anglais".
I always thought the expression "Don't you understand English?" was funny. Whenever anyone said it, I always started acting like I spoke only Spanish.
Quote from: bandit957 on March 08, 2022, 08:38:52 PM
I always thought the expression "Don't you understand English?" was funny. Whenever anyone said it, I always started acting like I spoke only Spanish.
When I saw you were the last person to post in this thread, this was not one of the expressions that I was expecting you to list. That pibs.
"Pooing is cool."
"If I had wheels, I'd be a wagon/chariot" and "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride."
"If it were a logical world, it would be the men who rode side-saddle."
"Like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest."
Quote from: JayhawkCO on March 09, 2022, 10:32:43 AM
"Like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest."
That's a good one. I also like "busier than a one-armed paper hanger."
"Slower than Mister Rogers on a trolley"
"It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear." - Norm from Cheers
Another one of my favorite expressions is when someone is "so angry that they're gonna poop a hole in their pants."
Quote from: Big John on March 09, 2022, 10:46:23 AM
"It's a dog eat dog world, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear." - Norm from Cheers
"Jack Frost nipping at your nose, Mr. Petersen?"
"Yep, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver."
Back around 8th grade, people used to fart all the time. But some people had no sense of humor. One day, someone farted real loud and declared, "That was a fart." So somebody punched them and said, "That was a fist."
When was it that people stopped farting?
Quote from: Max Rockatansky on March 09, 2022, 12:29:36 PM
When was it that people stopped farting?
The National Anti-Farting Act of 1995.
Is that when pooing started being cool again?
"Illinois isn't flat"
Quote from: bandit957 on March 09, 2022, 12:31:53 PM
Quote from: Max Rockatansky on March 09, 2022, 12:29:36 PM
When was it that people stopped farting?
The National Anti-Farting Act of 1995.
You ought to run for Senate and get that repealed. ("This is not just my platform; it's a bunker! And we should have the freedom to blast it!")
Drain the swamp, blast the bunker?
Quote from: JoePCool14 on March 09, 2022, 12:48:01 PM
"Illinois isn't flat"
"I didn't say it, Teddy Roosevelt did."
Suffering Succotash
Oh brother.
Gollllly.
Quote from: kurumi on March 09, 2022, 12:48:27 PM
Quote from: bandit957 on March 09, 2022, 12:31:53 PM
Quote from: Max Rockatansky on March 09, 2022, 12:29:36 PM
When was it that people stopped farting?
The National Anti-Farting Act of 1995.
You ought to run for Senate and get that repealed. ("This is not just my platform; it's a bunker! And we should have the freedom to blast it!")
"Our forefathers didn't pack their Dutch ovens in their covered wagons for nothing!"
"Don't blame me. Talk to Juan and Cindy."
(from a 1991 Dilbert comic strip (https://assets.amuniversal.com/eddfc7109bb0012f2fe400163e41dd5b))
Quote from: LilianaUwU on March 08, 2022, 08:37:29 PM
Quote from: Big John on March 08, 2022, 08:36:37 PM
Quote from: LilianaUwU on March 08, 2022, 08:34:08 PM
Quote from: bandit957 on March 08, 2022, 08:05:30 PM
I like the expression "Tough toilets", which means the same as "Tough luck."
I find myself saying "tough shit" sometimes, which is odd because French is my main language, not English.
And the English speaker would say "Pardon my French" after saying it.
I should start saying "pardonnez-moi pour mon anglais".
:-D
One time I was relating to my supervisor how much one of my coworkers was struggling with some basic task and the first thing that popped into my head was "It was like watching a dolphin trying to buy groceries", and he thought it was so hilarious he was unable to talk for like 30 seconds. I've tried to find another place to work it into conversation since then, but haven't been able to.
Quote from: Scott5114 on March 09, 2022, 04:54:07 PM
One time I was relating to my supervisor how much one of my coworkers was struggling with some basic task and the first thing that popped into my head was "It was like watching a dolphin trying to buy groceries", and he thought it was so hilarious he was unable to talk for like 30 seconds. I've tried to find another place to work it into conversation since then, but haven't been able to.
Jeff Foxworthy: "like a monkey doing a math problem"
3x+1
"If the shoe fits, wear it. And if it feels good, put it on."
Quote from: bandit957 on March 09, 2022, 07:49:49 PM
"If the shoe fits, wear it. And if it feels good, put it on."
"Don't criticize a man unless you've walked a mile in his shoes. Then you have a new pair of shoes and he's a mile away."
Quote from: JayhawkCO on March 09, 2022, 10:32:43 AM
"Like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest."
In the same vein:
"Like watching a three-legged cat trying to bury a turd on a frozen ice pond."
I made one up a while ago that I like:
When God closes a door... stop trying to open it.
"When all was said and done, more was said than done"
~ possible motto for the forum, or at least the fictional board? :sombrero:
I hear, "To make a long story short ..."
And I think, "Too late."
Picking gnat shit out of pepper.
I find most sayings overdone and/or misquoted.
"Throw a monkey wrench in my plan" It's just a wrench. A monkey wrench is something else entirely.
Quote from: ethanhopkin14 on April 06, 2022, 01:08:40 PM
... misquoted.
"Throw a monkey wrench in my plan" It's just a wrench. A monkey wrench is something else entirely.
Says who? The phrase "threw a monkey-wrench into" as a metaphor for ruining someone's plans goes back at least 130 years.
Quote from: San Francisco Chronicle – 06 July 1892
Bland's action in insisting upon amending the Stewart bill has been severely criticised. He is charged with occupying the position of the man who threw a monkey-wrench into a threshing machine because he was not allowed to feed it.
The other night my wife was watching a show about Benjamin Franklin on PBS and they quoted some of his pithy sayings. I quite liked this one:
QuoteThe greatest monarch on the proudest throne is obliged to sit upon his own arse.