Hit some uncharted territory in the Illinois is flat 2.0 thread regarding online dating:
Quote from: Max Rockatansky on May 31, 2022, 10:58:32 PM
Quote from: kphoger on May 31, 2022, 09:02:58 PM
I met my wife online while I was living in Illinois. She says that what most attracted her to my profile was my honesty about Illinois's flatness.
Oops, that last part wasn't true. Had to scratch it out.
I met my wife online also. I was actually living in Hanford at the time and listed my eHarmony profile as Fresno so I could avoid the military base crowd. Considering our second date was to a National Park I think we hit some common ground (non flat) early on.
I actually found it much easier to meet people in my mid 30s online than trying the traditional approaches. Has anyone else found success with online dating or had failings?
Quote from: Max Rockatansky on May 31, 2022, 11:03:03 PM
Hit some uncharted territory in the Illinois is flat 2.0 thread regarding online dating:
Quote from: Max Rockatansky on May 31, 2022, 10:58:32 PM
Quote from: kphoger on May 31, 2022, 09:02:58 PM
I met my wife online while I was living in Illinois. She says that what most attracted her to my profile was my honesty about Illinois's flatness.
Oops, that last part wasn't true. Had to scratch it out.
I met my wife online also. I was actually living in Hanford at the time and listed my eHarmony profile as Fresno so I could avoid the military base crowd. Considering our second date was to a National Park I think we hit some common ground (non flat) early on.
I actually found it much easier to meet people in my mid 30s online than trying the traditional approaches. Has anyone else found success with online dating or had failings?
I've had success and some failings as well including meeting a girl that had seizures during the date and numerous others that have lied about their age and turned out to be under the age of consent (yikes, cut them off).
Found my wife online.
I haven't tried and hopefully I won't have to. I'm out of college now (that's weird to say :crazy:) so I'm not entirely sure yet where to look, but going online would definitely not be my first choice.
There's definitely a lot of risk with being cat-fished through online dating. But is it a high-risk, high-reward proposition?
Quote from: JoePCool14 on May 31, 2022, 11:51:37 PM
I haven't tried and hopefully I won't have to. I'm out of college now (that's weird to say :crazy:) so I'm not entirely sure yet where to look, but going online would definitely not be my first choice.
There's definitely a lot of risk with being cat-fished through online dating. But is it a high-risk, high-reward proposition?
Stick to reputable sites and the catfishing nonsense can be avoided easily.
It is far more difficult to just find someone compatible with the bona fide candidates.
OKCupid for the win in 2012.
I've tried, but like in real life had little luck. I'm currently not actively pursuing relationships.
I too met my wife online.
Re: catfishing, I always moved to meet in person relatively quickly and would just cut off anyone who wasn't prepared to do so, so falling victim to this was never even really possible.
I did catch someone in the act once though. Based on how she (well, who knows if it actually was a she) was acting something smelled funny. Conveniently, one of her pictures had a bridge prominently in the background. So I asked her "hey where was that photo with the bridge taken" and the she gave an answer that was demonstrably incorrect, thus confirming my suspicion.
Met my current girlfriend online, as well as my first girlfriend some years ago. Both on OKCupid. Ever since college I've found it easier to date online than the traditional methods.
Anyone remember Yahoo Personals? It was useless.
I've never tried online dating as I met my current girlfriend in school. From what I've heard from a friend, use either Tinder or Hinge. But do stay away from Bumble.
I met my wife online in 2002. I was living in Oak Park, IL, and she was living in Indy.
First contact in July 2002, first in person meeting September 2002, engaged in December 2002, married in May 2003.
The year was 2001. My girlfriend (mother of my daughter) had broken up with me.
Just before Christmas, my daughter and I traveled back to where I grew up, to attend my high school best friend's wedding. While we were there, we stayed with my old Spanish teacher and her family. They were an amazing, loving family. We'd go with their daughter to do chores (her horse was stabled just outside of town), and she helped my daughter ride a horse at age 1½. We went to the next door neighbor's house a couple of days before Christmas for a holiday party with chicken off the grill and a gift exchange. The husband was a cowboy with a big bushy mustache and ten-gallon hat, but he was a kind and loving softy on the inside toward his wife and daughters. It was a truly wonderful experience to stay in their house during that time.
On Christmas Eve, we took Amtrak back to the Chicago area. My ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend met us at the Naperville Amtrak station and drove me to my apartment. My roommate was gone for Christmas, as was most everyone else in my six-flat apartment building. I had no warm and loving family, my apartment felt empty. I was lonely. I walked 2½ miles through a blizzard to see the first Lord of the Rings movie, which had just come out. Then I walked 2½ miles back home through the same blizzard. Along the way, I noticed a young lady walking the other way on the other side of the street, and the John Mayer line jumped into my head: I could have passed you on the sidewalk / Could I have missed my chance and watched you walk away?
I arrive home and thought to myself: what a pathetic Christmas Eve. I want a family. I want a wife.
After the holiday, I asked people at work:
– Where can I find a wife?
– Church.
– That takes too long. Where can I find one faster?
– The Internet.
So I went to the library to use the Internet. I looked at a few sites: No Cheaters, match.com, et al. I finally settled on Christian Soulmate. I only remember two things about the profile I filled out: (1) I mentioned that I had a daughter from a previous relationship, and (2) I said "high maintenance" was OK. Other than that, I don't remember. I didn't want to spend any money, so I signed up for their free seven-day trial.
Only one person contacted me. I noticed that her profile said "Missouri", so I figured she was probably from Saint Louis. I figured 300 miles wasn't too bad, so it was worth a shot.
She too had signed up for a free seven-day trial, and she was attracted to my profile because I had been honest about having a daughter. She was just looking for friends, not a boyfriend, but she contacted me anyway. Living in Branson, a small town with a zillion tourists, she found it difficult to meet new friends. I'm the only person she ever contacted.
On the free trial, users weren't allowed to exchange phone numbers or e-mail addresses, or else the message would throw an error. This being the early days of online activity, we easily figured out a way around that, and began corresponding by e-mail instead. Then we transitioned to talking by phone. That first phone conversation was very awkward. Hi. Hi. How are you? Fine. The next time I called, it was awkward again, but then suddenly it was like a dam came down and the conversation just flowed and flowed and flowed.
We quickly fell in love over the phone. Both of us knew it, but we refused to actually say the words until we met face-to-face. She asked me once where I wanted our relationship to go, and I answered "all the way". So, even before we ever held hands, we were already thinking ahead to marriage. Two months after first meeting online, I took a Greyhound bus from Chicago down to Springfield. The evening before departure, a co-worker and I had some drinks in my apartment, which helped to settle my nerves. Then I boarded a Metra train at Wheaton with a small suitcase and a vase of flowers, transferred to the Green Line L at Harlem/Lake, transferred to the Blue Line at Clark/Lake, got off at Clinton, and walked to the Greyhound station for a 1am departure. (On the Blue Line subway, it was standing room only, and a young lady was impressed to see someone holding a vase of flowers and said "I'd do ya!")
She picked me up at the bus station in Springfield. Shortly after leaving Springfield on southbound US-65, I reached over and held her hand, and she was very happy. Later that evening, while we were sitting on my hotel bed, I finally told her I loved her.
I hadn't told my parents that I'd met someone online–let alone traveled more than 500 miles. When I finally told my dad, he was very skeptical about it. Then I told him that, honestly, we had gotten to know each other a lot better than we would have if we had met in person. Instead of going to a movie and staring at a screen, we spent hours at a time doing nothing but talk on the phone. And, when you've got nothing to do but talk, you really get to know somebody. That made sense to him.
Every couple of months after that, one of us would travel–she would drive up to Illinois, or I'd take the bus down to Missouri. About a half-year later, she took a nanny position in Naperville, because our relationship was important enough that she didn't want the distance to kill it. (This was the girl who had quit college after one semester because she couldn't stand to be away from home.) So then we were 10 miles apart instead of ten hours. We had one big argument just before she moved, and she gave me back the promise ring I had given her. I had told her to keep it back then, and eventually she started wearing it again.
We were married in 2006, and my daughter's mom got married on the same day (much to my wife's chagrin). Fortunately, she isn't at all "high maintenance", and we get along better than I could ever have wished. It's now sixteen years and three sons later.
Quote from: JayhawkCO on June 01, 2022, 12:33:36 AM
OKCupid for the win in 2012.
To give some color to my story like
kphoger did, I had been dating a lot of girls that I worked with for a long time. Being in the restaurant industry, it's a bit incestuous, a bit drunken, and a bit dramatic. So, I decided I'd try online dating. I didn't feel like paying for anything I was pretty sure wouldn't work, so I signed up for OKCupid. I met a couple of girls on there where we hung out for a bit, but nothing serious. Then when I was about to give up, I decided to expand my search range and included anyone from 22 to 35. (I was 29 at the time.) My now-wife's profile popped up and she seemed cute and nice enough, so I figured I'd give it a shot. She was a K-State grad and I went to KU, so I started my conversation with "I might be barking up the wrong tree but...". We talked for a couple of days and then she asked what I was doing that weekend. I replied that she wouldn't believe me if I told her. She insisted, so I told her I was flying to Kyrgyzstan. She asked why and I told her that I had just found a really cheap flight ($500 RT from Kansas City) and had always wanted to go, so I was going. I was only going to be there for three days (couldn't afford to take too much time off of work), so she instantly thought I was some nefarious international drug runner or something of the like. I got back and we kept talking on OKCupid and then she told me she had only been on the site for two weeks and hated it since every guy other than me was gross. So she was going to cancel her account, but she gave me her phone number.
We went out for drinks on 2/12/2012 and then I asked her when I could see her again, and she told me "No pressure, but I'm free on Tuesday," which happened to be Valentine's Day. I actually surprisingly had the night off, which was a rarity being a bartender at a fancy restaurant, so I jumped at the chance. I took her out to a nice restaurant and brought her a carnation and a Snickers because you're supposed to do candy and flowers on V-Day, but it was our first dinner date, so I figured I'd keep it casual and comedic. Been together ever since, got married in 2015, and just had our first (and only) kiddo in December.
So basically I had about a two week window to have met her online otherwise she was gone. Also, she wasn't willing to date anyone 30 or older, so I just snuck into her filters by about 2 months. Nice coincidences.
Oh, fine, let us get into our stories further:
My wife was visiting Janet Jackson and Janet actually got her going in online dating and my wife's reluctant involvement led to us eventually getting married.
I make the next poor, dumb, b@stard who comes along look like a real find, especially if he's an alcoholic.
I met my wife in a chatroom (on a dating site) February 27, 2004. We were engaged March 27th and married August 20th.
I've had more luck on specialized dating sites than on the traditional ones.
Quote from: kphoger on June 01, 2022, 10:19:26 AM
...
We were married in 2006, and my daughter's mom got married on the same day (much to my wife's chagrin). Fortunately, she isn't at all "high maintenance", and we get along better than I could ever have wished. It's now sixteen years and three sons later.
That was a really heartwarming story. Thanks for sharing!
I met and married my wife when the Internet was in its infancy, so I have no experience with online dating. I'm honestly not sure how I would approach the issue now if I was still single, or became single. I wouldn't even know where to start.
I've heard of a number of people developing relationships without explicitly looking for one on Facebook. Involvement in special-interest groups, comments on mutual friends' posts, etc., and before they know it they're sending friend requests and communicating via Messenger. Sometimes they don't know one another; other times they're acquaintances; other times they're already friends or otherwise connected and a relationship develops.
I personally know very few people who met online, but I did attend a wedding of a fellow roadgeek many years ago and he had met his wife online.
I believe that Mike and Laura had an online component to their relationship. She was already very aware of his Maryland Roads site when they met for the first time. The first time I ever met them, they weren't dating yet, they were still just friends, but I would have bet big money on the fact that they were a couple at that time.
Quote from: BlueOutback7 on June 01, 2022, 08:07:41 AM
I've never tried online dating as I met my current girlfriend in school. From what I've heard from a friend, use either Tinder or Hinge. But do stay away from Bumble.
In the experience of one girl I've heard stories from, Bumble has had higher-quality candidates than Tinder. Bumble has the odd requirement of requiring the female to initiate contact in a male-female match (obviously this doesn't apply to same-gender matches), so it's possible that women have better experiences than men do.
Quote from: BlueOutback7 on June 01, 2022, 08:07:41 AM
I've never tried online dating as I met my current girlfriend in school. From what I've heard from a friend, use either Tinder or Hinge. But do stay away from Bumble.
Tinder is the Walmart of dating sites. I never used Hinge, but I meant to try it before I met my current girlfriend on OKCupid. Anyone telling you not to use Bumble is...well, I don't want to get political.
Quote from: Rothman on May 31, 2022, 11:45:44 PM
Found my wife online.
You found her looking for someone new? :confused:
Quote from: Takumi on June 01, 2022, 03:44:12 PM
Quote from: BlueOutback7 on June 01, 2022, 08:07:41 AM
I've never tried online dating as I met my current girlfriend in school. From what I've heard from a friend, use either Tinder or Hinge. But do stay away from Bumble.
Tinder is the Walmart of dating sites. I never used Hinge, but I meant to try it before I met my current girlfriend on OKCupid. Anyone telling you not to use Bumble is...well, I don't want to get political.
Any chance you can word it neutrally? I'm a little curious what the objection would be to it, considering that I've only heard of good experiences with it.
Quote from: Scott5114 on June 01, 2022, 03:51:41 PM
Quote from: Takumi on June 01, 2022, 03:44:12 PM
Quote from: BlueOutback7 on June 01, 2022, 08:07:41 AM
I've never tried online dating as I met my current girlfriend in school. From what I've heard from a friend, use either Tinder or Hinge. But do stay away from Bumble.
Tinder is the Walmart of dating sites. I never used Hinge, but I meant to try it before I met my current girlfriend on OKCupid. Anyone telling you not to use Bumble is...well, I don't want to get political.
Any chance you can word it neutrally? I'm a little curious what the objection would be to it, considering that I've only heard of good experiences with it.
"The dating app Bumble['s] defining feature: Only women can initiate the conversation after a match."
edit: No clue why this would be a reason not to use it.
Quote from: abefroman329 on June 01, 2022, 04:04:38 PM
Quote from: Scott5114 on June 01, 2022, 03:51:41 PM
Quote from: Takumi on June 01, 2022, 03:44:12 PM
Quote from: BlueOutback7 on June 01, 2022, 08:07:41 AM
I've never tried online dating as I met my current girlfriend in school. From what I've heard from a friend, use either Tinder or Hinge. But do stay away from Bumble.
Tinder is the Walmart of dating sites. I never used Hinge, but I meant to try it before I met my current girlfriend on OKCupid. Anyone telling you not to use Bumble is...well, I don't want to get political.
Any chance you can word it neutrally? I'm a little curious what the objection would be to it, considering that I've only heard of good experiences with it.
"The dating app Bumble['s] defining feature: Only women can initiate the conversation after a match."
edit: No clue why this would be a reason not to use it.
So, my first thought in reading that was that Bumble just doesn't offer its services to people seeking same sex relationships, so I looked it up. They do offer that, and in those cases either person can initiate a conversation.
Quote from: NWI_Irish96 on June 01, 2022, 04:10:25 PM
Quote from: abefroman329 on June 01, 2022, 04:04:38 PM
Quote from: Scott5114 on June 01, 2022, 03:51:41 PM
Quote from: Takumi on June 01, 2022, 03:44:12 PM
Quote from: BlueOutback7 on June 01, 2022, 08:07:41 AM
I've never tried online dating as I met my current girlfriend in school. From what I've heard from a friend, use either Tinder or Hinge. But do stay away from Bumble.
Tinder is the Walmart of dating sites. I never used Hinge, but I meant to try it before I met my current girlfriend on OKCupid. Anyone telling you not to use Bumble is...well, I don't want to get political.
Any chance you can word it neutrally? I'm a little curious what the objection would be to it, considering that I've only heard of good experiences with it.
"The dating app Bumble['s] defining feature: Only women can initiate the conversation after a match."
edit: No clue why this would be a reason not to use it.
So, my first thought in reading that was that Bumble just doesn't offer its services to people seeking same sex relationships, so I looked it up. They do offer that, and in those cases either person can initiate a conversation.
Yeah, I'm just gonna say it and the modmins can do whatever they want with this statement:
The only people who could possibly object to this are MRAs who think women are being handed an unfair advantage, even though it's probably a policy that was enacted due to the fact that a significant number of men love sending women unsolicited dick pics, and now they have to wait for a woman to reach out to them to send unsolicited dick pics.
Quote from: abefroman329 on June 01, 2022, 04:22:30 PM
Quote from: NWI_Irish96 on June 01, 2022, 04:10:25 PM
Quote from: abefroman329 on June 01, 2022, 04:04:38 PM
Quote from: Scott5114 on June 01, 2022, 03:51:41 PM
Quote from: Takumi on June 01, 2022, 03:44:12 PM
Quote from: BlueOutback7 on June 01, 2022, 08:07:41 AM
I've never tried online dating as I met my current girlfriend in school. From what I've heard from a friend, use either Tinder or Hinge. But do stay away from Bumble.
Tinder is the Walmart of dating sites. I never used Hinge, but I meant to try it before I met my current girlfriend on OKCupid. Anyone telling you not to use Bumble is...well, I don't want to get political.
Any chance you can word it neutrally? I'm a little curious what the objection would be to it, considering that I've only heard of good experiences with it.
"The dating app Bumble['s] defining feature: Only women can initiate the conversation after a match."
edit: No clue why this would be a reason not to use it.
So, my first thought in reading that was that Bumble just doesn't offer its services to people seeking same sex relationships, so I looked it up. They do offer that, and in those cases either person can initiate a conversation.
Yeah, I'm just gonna say it and the modmins can do whatever they want with this statement:
The only people who could possibly object to this are MRAs who think women are being handed an unfair advantage, even though it's probably a policy that was enacted due to the fact that a significant number of men love sending women unsolicited dick pics, and now they have to wait for a woman to reach out to them to send unsolicited dick pics.
Pretty much it, yeah. And those kinds of guys tend to skew a certain direction politically.
Here's your unsolicited dick pic.
(https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/znMAAOSwfztbU4eo/s-l1600.jpg)
Seriously, what's the deal with that? I've heard of it occurring not only in dating apps, but on Facebook and Twitter as well. I don't understand the mentality of someone who would immediately send someone else a naked picture of himself, or a picture of his sexual organ. It's not something that would even cross my mind to do.
My fiancée & I met via Tinder. Neither of us remember swiping on the other's profile now, but we later figured out that we must have both opened Tinder while on either the Delaware Turnpike or the Delaware Memorial Bridge (as I was on a daytrip to Wildwood that day, and she was on a daytrip to the Camden Aquarium). I opened with a nerdy pickup line that she later said she had never heard before, and there was instant chemistry after that. For our first few dates I drove 1.5-2 hours to her, and intentionally left out that I was driving that far and paying $8 at the Tydings Bridge each time!
Our swipe-versary is coming up in about a month (6 years), we've been engaged for a year & 3 months now, and our wedding is coming up this fall. At first we were embarrassed to admit we met on Tinder (we both initially told our parents we met at a party), but eventually we stopped caring and now openly share it when people ask - much like I'm doing with this post!
Quote from: jmacswimmer on June 01, 2022, 05:36:32 PM
At first we were embarrassed to admit we met on Tinder (we both initially told our parents we met at a party), but eventually we stopped caring and now openly share it when people ask - much like I'm doing with this post!
When I met my wife, her grandparents were still of the mindset that the Internet was evil. So, the first couple of times I met them, we managed to craftily dodge any questions about how we met. Only after I was wholeheartedly approved of by them did we tell them we'd met online.
Quote from: kphoger on June 01, 2022, 05:51:13 PM
Only after I was wholeheartedly approved of by them did we tell them we'd met online.
"Thru mutual friends." You were both friends of the internet site, right?
Quote from: abefroman329 on June 01, 2022, 04:04:38 PM"The dating app Bumble['s] defining feature: Only women can initiate the conversation after a match."
edit: No clue why this would be a reason not to use it.
Quote from: abefroman329 on June 01, 2022, 04:22:30 PMYeah, I'm just gonna say it and the modmins can do whatever they want with this statement:
The only people who could possibly object to this are MRAs who think women are being handed an unfair advantage, even though it's probably a policy that was enacted due to the fact that a significant number of men love sending women unsolicited dick pics, and now they have to wait for a woman to reach out to them to send unsolicited dick pics.
I have read (notably in Nancy Jo Sales'
Nothing Personal) that many female Bumble users dislike being forced to initiate each exchange.
Quote from: hbelkins on June 01, 2022, 05:14:59 PMSeriously, what's the deal with that? I've heard of it occurring not only in dating apps, but on Facebook and Twitter as well. I don't understand the mentality of someone who would immediately send someone else a naked picture of himself, or a picture of his sexual organ. It's not something that would even cross my mind to do.
One theory is that men on hookup apps are playing the numbers and use it as a crude filtering tactic, the reasoning being that a woman who objects to being sent an unsolicited dick pic is probably not one who is going to be available for sex on demand. Another theory is that the men who send them are clueless enough to think they'd be delighted if a woman sent an unsolicited pussy pic and can't understand why a woman wouldn't be equally happy to receive the male equivalent.
Quote from: hbelkins on June 01, 2022, 05:14:59 PMI don't understand the mentality of someone who would immediately send someone else a naked picture of himself, or a picture of his sexual organ. It's not something that would even cross my mind to do.
Me neither, on all counts. And I don't know anyone who does that, so I can't ask anyone I know.
It's also something that, uh, isn't unique to one generation or another. Which is even weirder.
Quote from: Takumi on June 01, 2022, 05:10:36 PMPretty much it, yeah. And those kinds of guys tend to skew a certain direction politically.
Well, the ones who aren't part of a demographic known as the ______ Bros, anyway.
Met my wife on OKCupid after giving it another chance after my previous relationship ended (it also started on OKCupid). In fact, all but the very first long-term relationship I was in had some online component to it (I dated a girl who lived in Illinois I met through someone in an IRC chat room; I went out there four times, which is why there are some isolated segments on my Travel Mapping profile). I also VERY briefly dated someone I met at the arcade we used to hang out at, and that had no online component.
Quote from: GaryV on June 01, 2022, 06:00:58 PM
Quote from: kphoger on June 01, 2022, 05:51:13 PM
Only after I was wholeheartedly approved of by them did we tell them we'd met online.
"Thru mutual friends." You were both friends of the internet site, right?
I think I used the answer "We met in Springfield". Which could technically be true, because the first place we ever
physically met was the bus station in Springfield.
Quote from: J N Winkler on June 01, 2022, 06:15:28 PM
One theory is that men on hookup apps are playing the numbers and use it as a crude filtering tactic, the reasoning being that a woman who objects to being sent an unsolicited dick pic is probably not one who is going to be available for sex on demand. Another theory is that the men who send them are clueless enough to think they'd be delighted if a woman sent an unsolicited pussy pic and can't understand why a woman wouldn't be equally happy to receive the male equivalent.
I find the second theory
FAR more likely than the first.
Also, let it not go unnoticed that Jonathan has now typed the word 'pussy'.
Quote from: abefroman329 on June 01, 2022, 06:20:38 PM
And I don't know anyone who does that, so I can't ask anyone I know.
Heck, my company once had to fire a guy because he sent one
to a CUSTOMER. (not that cable guys are generally known to be high-class to begin with...)
Quote from: BlueOutback7 on June 01, 2022, 08:07:41 AM
I've never tried online dating as I met my current girlfriend in school. From what I've heard from a friend, use either Tinder or Hinge. But do stay away from Bumble.
I can say with almost complete certainty I wouldn't use Tinder. It's way too broad and has too many people just looking to hookup. That's what I've heard from a college friend who ironically is female.
Quote from: Duke87 on June 01, 2022, 01:24:37 AM
I too met my wife online.
Re: catfishing, I always moved to meet in person relatively quickly and would just cut off anyone who wasn't prepared to do so, so falling victim to this was never even really possible.
I did catch someone in the act once though. Based on how she (well, who knows if it actually was a she) was acting something smelled funny. Conveniently, one of her pictures had a bridge prominently in the background. So I asked her "hey where was that photo with the bridge taken" and the she gave an answer that was demonstrably incorrect, thus confirming my suspicion.
Your story is unbelievably on-brand for this website.
Quote from: jmacswimmer on June 01, 2022, 05:36:32 PM
My fiancée & I met via Tinder. Neither of us remember swiping on the other's profile now, but we later figured out that we must have both opened Tinder while on either the Delaware Turnpike or the Delaware Memorial Bridge (as I was on a daytrip to Wildwood that day, and she was on a daytrip to the Camden Aquarium). I opened with a nerdy pickup line that she later said she had never heard before, and there was instant chemistry after that. For our first few dates I drove 1.5-2 hours to her, and intentionally left out that I was driving that far and paying $8 at the Tydings Bridge each time!
Our swipe-versary is coming up in about a month (6 years), we've been engaged for a year & 3 months now, and our wedding is coming up this fall. At first we were embarrassed to admit we met on Tinder (we both initially told our parents we met at a party), but eventually we stopped caring and now openly share it when people ask - much like I'm doing with this post!
Congratulations! Hope all goes well.
I'm not as successful when it comes to online dating as compared to some of the others on this site, and the same can be said of in person too. Not currently looking.
Quote from: J N Winkler on June 01, 2022, 06:15:28 PM
One theory is that men on hookup apps are playing the numbers ...
When I first read this portion of the response, I thought you were making a reference to numbers as in the size -- as if the guys are packing a python in their pants and want a prospective female partner to see just how big it is.
Quote from: hbelkins on June 02, 2022, 01:50:08 PM
... packing a python in their pants and want a prospective female partner to see just how big it is.
Wow, I didn't know you were such a poet! That's some good alliteration there...
I'm currently not actively pursuing a relationship, but will eventually. It's nice to know that online dating can lead to some success. I'd likely try in-person first, though, when I get to that point.
Quote from: hbelkins on June 02, 2022, 01:50:08 PM
Quote from: J N Winkler on June 01, 2022, 06:15:28 PM
One theory is that men on hookup apps are playing the numbers ...
When I first read this portion of the response, I thought you were making a reference to numbers as in the size -- as if the guys are packing a python in their pants and want a prospective female partner to see just how big it is.
:rofl: :rofl:
I don't even know where I'd go to meet someone in person, other than at a bar. And someone who goes out drinking alone to meet people doesn't really sound like the type one should be looking for.
So where is a better choice?
Quote from: kphoger on June 02, 2022, 10:13:58 PM
I don't even know where I'd go to meet someone in person, other than at a bar. And someone who goes out drinking alone to meet people doesn't really sound like the type one should be looking for.
So where is a better choice?
Before I met my now wife through eHarmony the previous serious relationships originated from:
- A car club.
- Work
- Someone who once rented a room at a house I owned.
After about the age of 24 I stopped going to bars given how much of a waste of time it was. I never really recall meeting anyone at a bar that I saw more than a couple dates.
Quote from: kphoger on June 02, 2022, 10:13:58 PM
I don't even know where I'd go to meet someone in person, other than at a bar. And someone who goes out drinking alone to meet people doesn't really sound like the type one should be looking for.
So where is a better choice?
Mutual contacts, ideally. I once had someone set me up with one of their coworkers, since we had some things in common. However, that only happened once, and fizzled out after a couple weeks at that, in…10 years of post-college searching before my first successful (relatively, given it didn’t work out) online relationship. Most of my contacts are married and only have married friends, and the ones that aren’t don’t really think about relationships at all for themselves or people they know. (It doesn’t help that I don’t want kids, which drops my potential matches to at most 10% of what they’d be if I did or was at least open to them. I’m pretty sure I’ve found the one, though.)
Quote from: hbelkins on June 01, 2022, 05:14:59 PM
Here's your unsolicited dick pic.
(https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/znMAAOSwfztbU4eo/s-l1600.jpg)
Seriously, what's the deal with that? I've heard of it occurring not only in dating apps, but on Facebook and Twitter as well. I don't understand the mentality of someone who would immediately send someone else a naked picture of himself, or a picture of his sexual organ. It's not something that would even cross my mind to do.
That's a mighty tricky Dick you've got there.
Quote from: kkt on June 03, 2022, 12:55:23 AM
Quote from: hbelkins on June 01, 2022, 05:14:59 PM
Here's your unsolicited dick pic.
(https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/znMAAOSwfztbU4eo/s-l1600.jpg)
Seriously, what's the deal with that? I've heard of it occurring not only in dating apps, but on Facebook and Twitter as well. I don't understand the mentality of someone who would immediately send someone else a naked picture of himself, or a picture of his sexual organ. It's not something that would even cross my mind to do.
That's a mighty tricky Dick you've got there.
This reminds me of all the Dick Trickle jokes my brother used to make before he found out there was an actual race car driver by that name.
Quote from: kphoger on June 02, 2022, 10:13:58 PM
I don't even know where I'd go to meet someone in person, other than at a bar. And someone who goes out drinking alone to meet people doesn't really sound like the type one should be looking for.
So where is a better choice?
Hint: You go there every Sunday.
I was never crazy about the bar scene. The music was often too loud, and the places reeked of smoke.
I never had much luck there. Only one time did someone seem interested in me, but it ended up she was married.
Quote from: abefroman329 on June 03, 2022, 10:26:36 AM
Quote from: kphoger on June 02, 2022, 10:13:58 PM
I don't even know where I'd go to meet someone in person, other than at a bar. And someone who goes out drinking alone to meet people doesn't really sound like the type one should be looking for.
So where is a better choice?
Hint: You go there every Sunday.
My brother tried suggesting that for years. Might be a me thing (given the reply wasn't directed at me) but I don't think dating someone I met at a church would be super appealing.
Quote from: Max Rockatansky on June 03, 2022, 10:28:53 AM
Quote from: abefroman329 on June 03, 2022, 10:26:36 AM
Quote from: kphoger on June 02, 2022, 10:13:58 PM
I don't even know where I'd go to meet someone in person, other than at a bar. And someone who goes out drinking alone to meet people doesn't really sound like the type one should be looking for.
So where is a better choice?
Hint: You go there every Sunday.
My brother tried suggesting that for years. Might be a me thing (given the reply wasn't directed at me) but I don't think dating someone I met at a church would be super appealing.
It's also only helpful if you attend a rather large church.
For my wife, she was already close friends with all the guys at her church. And she was close enough to them that they were, as she puts it, "like brothers". And, because they were like brothers to her, she had no interest in dating any of them.
Dated someone I met in church eons ago. I knew her but hadn't really paid any attention to her, until a co-worker and I were eating lunch at Long John Silver's in Richmond, and she and her mother happened to come in. They sat down with us and before long I found out she was interested. The relationship sputtered, we split up, and a few months later she came back with a greatly renewed interest. That second relationship was much more intense but it, too, played out. It was definitely for the best.
Quote from: Max Rockatansky on June 03, 2022, 10:28:53 AM
Quote from: abefroman329 on June 03, 2022, 10:26:36 AM
Quote from: kphoger on June 02, 2022, 10:13:58 PM
I don't even know where I'd go to meet someone in person, other than at a bar. And someone who goes out drinking alone to meet people doesn't really sound like the type one should be looking for.
So where is a better choice?
Hint: You go there every Sunday.
My brother tried suggesting that for years. Might be a me thing (given the reply wasn't directed at me) but I don't think dating someone I met at a church would be super appealing.
It wouldn't be appealing to me at all since I'm not religious, but it was one common suggestion of "where to meet people" back before Internet dating was something that a broad cross-section of the population participated in.
Quote from: hbelkins on June 03, 2022, 11:07:30 AM
Dated someone I met in church eons ago. I knew her but hadn't really paid any attention to her, until a co-worker and I were eating lunch at Long John Silver's in Richmond, and she and her mother happened to come in. They sat down with us and before long I found out she was interested. The relationship sputtered, we split up, and a few months later she came back with a greatly renewed interest. That second relationship was much more intense but it, too, played out. It was definitely for the best.
It can also, from what I've seen, be rather awkward after a break-up–especially if you're both involved in the same groups at church.
Quote from: abefroman329 on June 03, 2022, 11:11:34 AM
Quote from: Max Rockatansky on June 03, 2022, 10:28:53 AM
Quote from: abefroman329 on June 03, 2022, 10:26:36 AM
Quote from: kphoger on June 02, 2022, 10:13:58 PM
I don't even know where I'd go to meet someone in person, other than at a bar. And someone who goes out drinking alone to meet people doesn't really sound like the type one should be looking for.
So where is a better choice?
Hint: You go there every Sunday.
My brother tried suggesting that for years. Might be a me thing (given the reply wasn't directed at me) but I don't think dating someone I met at a church would be super appealing.
It wouldn't be appealing to me at all since I'm not religious, but it was one common suggestion of "where to meet people" back before Internet dating was something that a broad cross-section of the population participated in.
Yep. As I said originally:
Quote from: kphoger on June 01, 2022, 10:19:26 AM
I asked people at work:
– Where can I find a wife?
– Church.
– That takes too long. Where can I find one faster?
– The Internet.
So I went to the library to use the Internet.
For those (like me) who don't go to church, ways to meet potential dating partners include out of work/out-of-school activities that bring one into propinquity with other people. One woman I know met her husband playing amateur hockey; they just celebrated their twentieth wedding anniversary.
I personally think good relationships result as much from making as from choosing. From that vantage point, there are advantages to looking for a partner in settings where there are significant social penalties to being a player, which is not typically true with bars, most online dating sites, and so on. The flip side is that if the relationship goes badly sour, you can easily find yourself having to rebuild your social life in a new setting.
Although my wife and I share a common religion and we both wanted to date within such, my local congregation was devoid of potential candidates.
Quote from: Rothman on June 03, 2022, 01:26:29 PM
Although my wife and I share a common religion and we both wanted to date within such, my local congregation was devoid of potential candidates.
My wife and I both had that problem. That's why we were both on a site that catered to our denomination - and we just happened to both be in the chatroom one Friday night.
Quote from: elsmere241 on June 03, 2022, 01:42:31 PM
Quote from: Rothman on June 03, 2022, 01:26:29 PM
Although my wife and I share a common religion and we both wanted to date within such, my local congregation was devoid of potential candidates.
My wife and I both had that problem. That's why we were both on a site that catered to our denomination - and we just happened to both be in the chatroom one Friday night.
Yep. Our site was the same -- for our denomination. Fun thing was, like I said above, Janet Jackson actually pushed my wife into putting together a profile and putting herself out there. My wife originally didn't want anything to do with it, but Janet nudged her along (I think she actually put the finishing touches on my wife's profile). Pretty dumb luck we ended up together.
Janet came to our reception.
Quote from: Rothman on June 03, 2022, 02:00:24 PM
Quote from: elsmere241 on June 03, 2022, 01:42:31 PM
Quote from: Rothman on June 03, 2022, 01:26:29 PM
Although my wife and I share a common religion and we both wanted to date within such, my local congregation was devoid of potential candidates.
My wife and I both had that problem. That's why we were both on a site that catered to our denomination - and we just happened to both be in the chatroom one Friday night.
Yep. Our site was the same -- for our denomination. Fun thing was, like I said above, Janet Jackson actually pushed my wife into putting together a profile and putting herself out there. My wife originally didn't want anything to do with it, but Janet nudged her along (I think she actually put the finishing touches on my wife's profile). Pretty dumb luck we ended up together.
Janet came to our reception.
I have/had a good friend who found her husband that way too: a dating site specific to Lutherans. I forget where she was living at the time, maybe Fort Smith, and her husband-to-be lived in the Kansas City suburbs.
Quote from: abefroman329 on June 03, 2022, 11:11:34 AM
Quote from: Max Rockatansky on June 03, 2022, 10:28:53 AM
Quote from: abefroman329 on June 03, 2022, 10:26:36 AM
Quote from: kphoger on June 02, 2022, 10:13:58 PM
I don't even know where I'd go to meet someone in person, other than at a bar. And someone who goes out drinking alone to meet people doesn't really sound like the type one should be looking for.
So where is a better choice?
Hint: You go there every Sunday.
My brother tried suggesting that for years. Might be a me thing (given the reply wasn't directed at me) but I don't think dating someone I met at a church would be super appealing.
It wouldn't be appealing to me at all since I'm not religious, but it was one common suggestion of "where to meet people" back before Internet dating was something that a broad cross-section of the population participated in.
I'm not "really religious" but my wife is Catholic. My wife goes to church on occasion and follows Catholic customs, but I wouldn't exactly call her super devote. I don't really care what anyone believes so long as they don't try to force it on me, my wife never has. To me getting involved with someone that was a church regular was just asking for stuff that would lead to relationship issues.
Interestingly the only person in my wife's family that was upset I'm not Catholic was her Grandma. She actually even worked up the nerve to ask me to convert, I told her no and my wife told her to drop the issue.
I've had a lot of fails with online dating, but all it took was one success...we celebrate our eighth wedding anniversary in September and the 10-year anniversary of our first date in 3 weeks. Just trust your instincts if you get into it and you'll do fine.
Quote from: Max Rockatansky on June 03, 2022, 02:16:22 PM
Quote from: abefroman329 on June 03, 2022, 11:11:34 AM
Quote from: Max Rockatansky on June 03, 2022, 10:28:53 AM
Quote from: abefroman329 on June 03, 2022, 10:26:36 AM
Quote from: kphoger on June 02, 2022, 10:13:58 PM
I don't even know where I'd go to meet someone in person, other than at a bar. And someone who goes out drinking alone to meet people doesn't really sound like the type one should be looking for.
So where is a better choice?
Hint: You go there every Sunday.
My brother tried suggesting that for years. Might be a me thing (given the reply wasn't directed at me) but I don't think dating someone I met at a church would be super appealing.
It wouldn't be appealing to me at all since I'm not religious, but it was one common suggestion of "where to meet people" back before Internet dating was something that a broad cross-section of the population participated in.
I'm not "really religious" but my wife is Catholic. My wife goes to church on occasion and follows Catholic customs, but I wouldn't exactly call her super devote. I don't really care what anyone believes so long as they don't try to force it on me, my wife never has. To me getting involved with someone that was a church regular was just asking for stuff that would lead to relationship issues.
My girlfriend and I are two different denominations of Protestant, but neither of us attends church regularly. I haven't gone in probably a decade. Like you, I don't think I could be with someone whose beliefs are significantly different than mine.
It just strikes me that today (in the early 2020s), on-line dating apps are little different from the 'storefronts' in central Amsterdam.
Nope....
Mike
Quote from: mgk920 on June 04, 2022, 10:24:44 AM
It just strikes me that today (in the early 2020s), on-line dating apps are little different from the 'storefronts' in central Amsterdam.
Nope....
Mike
Where do you personally go to meet people, then?
I certainly had girls I was interested in at church, but nothing ever came of it. My wife and I met online and we turned out to share the same beliefs.
Quote from: hbelkins on June 01, 2022, 05:14:59 PM
Seriously, what's the deal with that? I've heard of it occurring not only in dating apps, but on Facebook and Twitter as well. I don't understand the mentality of someone who would immediately send someone else a naked picture of himself, or a picture of his sexual organ. It's not something that would even cross my mind to do.
I don't know, but I think it's amusing that this discussion happened here just a couple days before the webcomic SMBC did a strip about it (with aliens, because SMBC).
https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/civilization
I met my future wife online in 2000...when internet dating wasn't quite cool yet to publicize to others.
Still happily married since 2003.
All I can recommend is that you get what you pay for (the dating sites)! I subscribed to some dating site (forgot the name) and filled out a lengthy questionnaire. I also had to buy a cheap scanner so I could submit a few photos of myself for the website. I would be very leery of the quality and/or honesty of those you'd find on free websites/apps or those with very short questionnaires. The sites/apps that make you spend some time and/or money before you can start "choosing" usually yield better results.