AARoads Forum

Non-Road Boards => Off-Topic => Topic started by: Alps on May 16, 2011, 10:01:46 PM

Title: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: Alps on May 16, 2011, 10:01:46 PM
I came up with these while stopped in traffic on I-79.

Welcome to Ohio: Slow Down
Welcome to Pennsylvania: Do Not Pass
Welcome to New Jersey: Wanna Fight About It?
Welcome to New York: One Big Apple, Many Rotten Ones
Welcome to Rhode Island: Kicked Out of Massachusetts
Welcome to Massachusetts: The New York of the East
Welcome to Maine: Enjoy the Moose, Eh?
Welcome to Vermont: Live Free and Don't Stand Out
Welcome to New Hampshire: Live Free or Be Liberal
Welcome to Connecticut: The Traffic State
Welcome to Delaware: Stay Near Wilmington.
Welcome to Maryland: Pay Up
Welcome to Virginia: We've Heard the Jokes Already
Welcome to West Virginia: Should Have Stayed in the South
Welcome to North Carolina, If You're from the North
Welcome to Mississippi: No One Here Can Even Spell It
Welcome to Alabama: At Least We're Not Mississippi
Welcome to Florida: The Disney State (TM) (C) (R)
Welcome to Georgia: We're Not Just Atlanta, But That's All You'll See
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: agentsteel53 on May 16, 2011, 10:12:26 PM
Welcome to California: speed limits now actually enforced.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: Alps on May 16, 2011, 10:41:27 PM
Jake, I'd have put that one in Texas given my experience. Welcome to California: Se Habla Espanol.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: Scott5114 on May 16, 2011, 10:46:15 PM
Oklahoma: Just Like Texas But With Crappier Weather
Oklahoma: BUMP / Next 225 Miles
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: Alps on May 16, 2011, 10:49:05 PM
In California, I raced with impunity along old 66, easily going 80 in 55 zones. In Texas I got yoinked for 73 in a 70 on US 380 in the middle of nowhere.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: Ian on May 16, 2011, 10:55:59 PM
I actually drew some of these in my sketchbook recently...

Welcome to Pennsylvania: Cheesesteaks available at welcome center
Welcome to New Jersey: U-turn 1/4 mile ahead
Welcome! We're glad you're on Georgia's mind. Oh, you're not? Huh, well then...
Welcome to Delaware: now leaving Delaware
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: Scott5114 on May 17, 2011, 01:18:41 AM
Quote from: agentsteel53 on May 16, 2011, 11:06:05 PM
to add further to the hypocrisy of speed limits (and please make this a separate thread, or combine it with a thread that mentions speed limits)

Done. The speed limit tolerance stuff has been tacked on to this thread: https://www.aaroads.com/forum/index.php?topic=3399.0
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: 1995hoo on May 17, 2011, 09:32:35 AM
Welcome to Virginia: Use Left Lane Whenever Possible.  :banghead:


(I like PennDOTFan's New Jersey entry.)
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: SSOWorld on May 17, 2011, 09:46:38 AM
Welcome to New Jersey: now get lost.
Welcome to New Jersey: Pay Toll 1 mile ahead
Welcome to Rhode Island: Where you're guaranteed to visit at least 3 states every year.
Welcome to Connecticut: What's a county?
Welcome to Illinois: 65 zone ends ahead
Welcome to Wisconsin: Cops every 2 miles, guaranteed.
Welcome to Minnesota: Our freeways are never complete.
Welcome to Iowa: Not a cop for 1000 miles
Welcome to Michigan: If you missed your left turn, don't worry - a U-Turn is coming up.
Welcome to Louisiana: Where most of us are submerged in water.
Welcome to Mississippi: How do you spell it?
Welcome to Arizona: Please check the humidity at the border.
Welcome to Nevada: Casinos, next 200 miles.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: agentsteel53 on May 17, 2011, 10:14:32 AM
Quote from: Master son on May 17, 2011, 09:46:38 AM
Welcome to Iowa: Not a cop for 1000 miles

correct.  also, Utah.  Between those two states, I have seen maybe four cops sitting in the median and running radar, in thousands of miles driven through them.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: thenetwork on May 17, 2011, 10:37:03 AM
Welcome to Ohio:  We Encourage European Driving -- Slower Traffic Use LEFT Lane.   :eyebrow:

Welcome to Pennsylvania (I-90): Hey, we ALWAYS need to have some section of our 46-mile stretch of I-90 torn up for construction.   :banghead:

Welcome to Florida:   Seniors MUST signal turns 10 minutes in advance.    :rolleyes:

Welcome to Indiana (I-275):  Welcome to Indian....Ah Screw It, Welcome to Ohio (Or Kentucky).   :)

Welcome to Utah (I-70):  Anybody Here??? or You've just dropped off the face of the earth.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: english si on May 17, 2011, 10:46:38 AM
This "Welcome to Southampton: International Maritime City" sign (http://maps.google.co.uk/?ie=UTF8&ll=50.951993,-1.403739&spn=0,0.016512&z=17&layer=c&cbll=50.952161,-1.403685&panoid=KUjtx0nazGeMgOixMfRUYg&cbp=12,172.58,,2,4.88) got vandalised with "Home of the Titanic" written on it with black spray paint (and a hole was added to the ship).

Welcome to the borough of Slough: It isn't fit for humans now (stolen off Poet Laureate Sir John Betjeman in his poem "Come friendly bombs, fall on Slough").

Quote from: thenetwork on May 17, 2011, 10:37:03 AMWelcome to Ohio:  We Encourage European Driving -- Slower Traffic Use LEFT Lane.   :eyebrow:
How is that European driving? British driving perhaps (or Irish, Maltese, Cypriot, a vast swathe of Africa, South and South East Asia, Japan, Australia and Pacific Islands), but most of Europe drives 'French-style', like you Americans.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: agentsteel53 on May 17, 2011, 11:23:42 AM
Welcome to Miami.  Driver Carries Less than $50 Cash, More than 100 Rounds of Ammunition.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: Mr. Matté on May 17, 2011, 12:52:08 PM
Quote from: Master son on May 17, 2011, 09:46:38 AM
Welcome to Leaving New Jersey: Pay Toll 1 mile ahead

Fixed that for ya (although David Paterson says that's a sign that the worst is behind you)
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: Alps on May 17, 2011, 09:59:45 PM
Quote from: Mr. Matté on May 17, 2011, 12:52:08 PM
Quote from: Master son on May 17, 2011, 09:46:38 AM
Welcome to Leaving New Jersey: Pay Toll 1 mile ahead

Fixed that for ya (although David Paterson says that's a sign that the worst is behind you)
What would David Paterson know of signs?
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: PAHighways on May 18, 2011, 12:19:41 PM
Quote from: PennDOTFan on May 16, 2011, 10:55:59 PMWelcome to Pennsylvania: Cheesesteaks available at welcome center

Primanti Pitts-burger Cheesesteaks (http://burgatory.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/dscn0147.jpg) available on this side.  :D
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: SSOWorld on May 18, 2011, 01:53:53 PM
Welcome to Milwaukee - Beer, next right
Welcome to Madison - State Law: Yield to Protesters
Welcome to Los Angeles - Where everyone drives fast to avoid the bullets
Welcome to Seattle - That's not a space needle, it's not tall enough
Welcome to Serious Michigan
Welcome to North Dakota - Ass-end of the United States
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: cu2010 on May 18, 2011, 01:56:01 PM
Welcome to New York - The Rent Is Too Damn High
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: Coelacanth on May 19, 2011, 01:08:45 PM
Quote from: agentsteel53 on May 17, 2011, 10:14:32 AM
Quote from: Master son on May 17, 2011, 09:46:38 AM
Welcome to Iowa: Not a cop for 1000 miles

correct.  also, Utah.  Between those two states, I have seen maybe four cops sitting in the median and running radar, in thousands of miles driven through them.
I live in Minnesota. I have driven to or through Iowa perhaps 20 times in my life.

I have received exactly the same number of speeding tickets in Iowa as in Minnesota.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: SSOWorld on May 20, 2011, 05:40:05 AM
Welcome to San Francisco - where we make stupid bans

@Coelacanth: how many, 1?
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: Revive 755 on May 20, 2011, 10:51:18 PM
Welcome to Chicago - Enjoy the congestion
Welcome to St. Louis - Detroit with a big arch
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: DeaconG on May 21, 2011, 05:39:35 PM
Welcome to Florida-Turn Signals Optional.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: xcellntbuy on May 21, 2011, 08:37:53 PM
Welcome to Florida.  Hog the left lane well below the speed limit and talk on the cellphone at the same time. :spin:
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: ftballfan on May 21, 2011, 11:37:02 PM
Welcome to Michigan - Where there are two seasons, Winter and Construction.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: corco on May 21, 2011, 11:58:09 PM
Welcome to Wyoming: All Texans and Californians must stay on direct highways to Jackson Hole
Welcome to Idaho: More than potatoes!
Welcome to Idaho: Go away.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: yanksfan6129 on May 22, 2011, 06:57:06 PM
Welcome to New Jersey: You Got a Problem Widdat?
Welcome to New Jersey: I Didn't Ask for your Stinkin' Opinion!
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: SSOWorld on May 23, 2011, 07:14:49 AM
Welcome to Iowa - Plenty of idiots out walking around.
Welcome to Illinois - don't use the F and B words.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: elsmere241 on May 23, 2011, 09:15:34 AM
Quote from: corco on May 21, 2011, 11:58:09 PMWelcome to Idaho: Go away.

I actually saw a bumpersticker once that said "Welcome to the Eastern Shore: Now go home."
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: mightyace on May 24, 2011, 03:18:58 AM
Welcome to Arizona: Papers please!

Welcome to Nashville: Elvis did not live here!  (But, Al Gore does.)
Welcome to Nashville: Yes, we have rock music radio here.

Now Entering the Battlefield of (Franklin, Spring Hill, Nashville): Sites of desperate battles we treat like Gettysburg.

Now Entering Brentwood (TN): Net worth of under $1,000,000 punishable by fine.

Hudson Village (OH) City Limits: We're still a village, really we are! [City is still shown on maps as simply Hudson.]

Welcome to Twinsburg, OH
Welcome to Twinsburg, OH

Welcome to West Virginia, shoes optional.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: national highway 1 on May 24, 2011, 03:47:56 AM
Welcome to California: Exit Numbers now Available!!!
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: triplemultiplex on May 24, 2011, 10:54:36 AM
Welcome to Chicago: You probably should've taken the train.
Welcome to Wisconsin: Illinois vehicles please pay toll.
Welcome to da UP: Pasties, next five exits.
Welcome to Wisconsin: minimum BAC is .05
Welcome to Canada: Please check all potatoes and live bait at the border.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: ftballfan on May 24, 2011, 02:02:22 PM
Welcome to Georgia (I-24) - Re-entering Tennessee in two miles.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: SSOWorld on May 24, 2011, 04:19:09 PM
Quote from: ftballfan on May 24, 2011, 02:02:22 PM
Welcome to Georgia (I-24) - Re-entering Tennessee in two miles.
Along those line: NY-17 (future I-86): Welcome to Pennsylvania - no wait - welcome BACK to New York!
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: WNYroadgeek on May 28, 2011, 12:36:08 AM
Welcome to Alaska: Trying to convince Canada we aren't part of their country since 1958.
Welcome to Pennsylvania: Bud Shuster was here.

Also, from "Whose Line is it Anyway":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DW1zkvIX3YQ#t=01m36s
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: Zmapper on May 30, 2011, 07:56:01 PM
Welcome to Wisconsin: I'll have another if you will.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: mightyace on May 31, 2011, 03:33:08 AM
I can't remember where I first heard this one:

Welcome to Montana: Where men are men and sheep are scared.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: SSOWorld on May 31, 2011, 01:22:06 PM
Welcome to California - soon to be as separated as Alaska and Hawaii.
Welcome to Milwaukee - the home of the disease "beer nuts"

A Chicago welcome sign follows...


...
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: ftballfan on May 31, 2011, 08:38:09 PM
Welcome to the UP: Where the men are men and the women are too ;)
Welcome to Detroit: America's second most dangerous city.
Welcome to Flint: America's most dangerous city.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: yanksfan6129 on May 31, 2011, 10:54:00 PM
Welcome to Camden: America's Most DaGRAFFITI GRAFFITI GRAFITTI
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: Dr Frankenstein on June 03, 2011, 01:41:37 PM
Entering Saskatchewan. This is why they invented cruise control. Have a nap.
http://moose.spreadshirt.com/saskatchewan-cruise-control-A2606939
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: PAHighways on June 03, 2011, 03:38:15 PM
Quote from: WNYroadgeek on May 28, 2011, 12:36:08 AMWelcome to Pennsylvania: Bud Shuster was here.

And he's still here.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: ftballfan on June 03, 2011, 09:26:55 PM
Welcome to The Ohio $tate Univer$ity: "Give Me Ca$h, Car$ & Tattoo$"
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: corco on June 03, 2011, 09:34:33 PM
Welcome to Michigan: Our football team is irrelevant.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: 74/171FAN on June 03, 2011, 10:50:40 PM
Welcome to Florida: Where Lebron, Wade, and Bosh have made other sports teams seem meaningless.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: hobsini2 on June 03, 2011, 11:00:29 PM
Actual real welcome sign i saw a number of years ago in the Okla panhandle:
Welcome to Hooker,
Home of the Horny Toads.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: hobsini2 on June 03, 2011, 11:03:22 PM
Welcome to Delaware on I-95:
Wake up your passengers or they will miss us.

Welcome to Rhode Island on I-95:
At least it takes longer than Delaware.

Welcome to New York City:
Now shut the F** up and drive.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: agentsteel53 on June 03, 2011, 11:29:21 PM
Quote from: hobsini2 on June 03, 2011, 11:00:29 PM
Actual real welcome sign i saw a number of years ago in the Okla panhandle:
Welcome to Hooker,
Home of the Horny Toads.

(//www.aaroads.com/shields/misc/w15855.jpg)

Toad Ball lives!

Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: hobsini2 on June 03, 2011, 11:40:17 PM
Did you photo shop that> i looks so real.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: agentsteel53 on June 03, 2011, 11:46:59 PM
nope, that's a real photo that I took on May 19th, 2007.  I did not notice the welcome sign, but there are some older white guide signs in the area.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: hobsini2 on June 04, 2011, 12:04:16 AM
TY for grabbing that photo.  i can now send it on to friends who didn't believe me. lol
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: SSOWorld on June 05, 2011, 09:50:41 AM
Welcome to Washington.  The State!  If this were the city, I'd be called the District of Columbia!
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: ftballfan on June 05, 2011, 02:22:09 PM
Quote from: corco on June 03, 2011, 09:34:33 PM
Welcome to Michigan: Our football team is irrelevant.
It likely will be relevant in the next few seasons.

Welcome to SMU: Still suffering from the death penalty.

Welcome to Michigan: Losing population every day.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: hm insulators on June 08, 2011, 05:04:15 PM
Welcome to Arizona: Would you like a gas mask?
Welcome to Arizona: Land of Turn Signals Blinking for 20 Miles
Welcome to Nevada: "Fun Fun Fun" Until the Gaming Takes Your Money Awaaay..."
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: agentsteel53 on June 08, 2011, 05:30:21 PM
Welcome to Arizona: Mexicans Fuck Off
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: Scott5114 on June 08, 2011, 06:27:17 PM
Welcome to New Jersey: You Know It's New Jersey From The Smell!
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: mightyace on June 09, 2011, 11:29:57 AM
Welcome to Akron: At least we're not Cleveland!

Welcome to Detroit: Come and Stay Awhile.  Please, please, please!!!

Welcome to Washington: Disneyland on the Potomac

Welcome to Scranton: Dunder-Mifflin is NOT real!
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: PAHighways on June 09, 2011, 09:58:29 PM
Quote from: mightyace on June 09, 2011, 11:29:57 AMWelcome to Scranton: Dunder-Mifflin is NOT real!

With The Office Store at The Mall at Steamtown and The Office Convention (http://www.theofficeconvention.com/) held every year, they don't want that slogan.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: national highway 1 on June 09, 2011, 11:23:11 PM
I-25 Sb: Welcome to New Mexico:US 85 not available in this state.
The other direction:
I-25 Nb Welcome to Colorado:US 87 not available in this state.
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: english si on June 10, 2011, 06:17:12 AM
Quote from: mightyace on June 09, 2011, 11:29:57 AMWelcome to Scranton: Dunder-Mifflin is NOT real!
Well not anymore, given it went bust and merged with SABRE (http://www.sabre-roads.org.uk), selling paper and being British Roadgeeks :P
Title: Re: Alternative welcome slogans
Post by: SSOWorld on June 14, 2011, 11:19:41 PM
Welcome to Wisconsin: Choppin Unions since 2011.
Welcome to Illinois: Siphonin Gas Money Since 2011.
Welcome to Michigan: Spittin out residents since whenever :P
Welcome to Iowa: Not as flat as you think it is.
Welcome to Montana: Got a life vest?
Welcome to Colorado: Still Skiiing in June!